TTI Conversation Etiquette--Do's and Don'ts

[Abd_Al_Hadi]

:salam2:


I, along with many brothers and sisters here, have lost manners on this website. I am certain that none of us speak the way we do in person as we do on here. I have never used any derogatory words with anyone in person, but yet shaytaan somehow tricks me to think its alright to do it when I'm "invisible" to the world. Hours later, I find myself having difficulty falling asleep, because the brother or sister might be insulted with what I've said. I'm sure many feel the way I do, so lets all chip in and add rules what one should be aware of when posting. We know the obvious (curse words, death threats, etc) no-no's, but lets include the subtle things that can hurt people's feelings. Inshallah everyone will get to read every post and gain knowledge and affection towards his/her brothers and sisters.

 

[Abd_Al_Hadi]

I'll start with the first one:


Don't: Don't use the word "ignorant." Simply, its a negative word that I'm sure no one could get away with using in the real world. If you feel someone might be lacking knowledge regarding an issue and they're speaking nonsense, say something like, "I believe your experience with this sort of issue is limited..."

 

[Abd_Al_Hadi]

Second one:

Don't: Don't tell a brother or sister to "shut up." This is a public forum and every has a right to speak, as long as they follow the rules. Only oppressors want to shut people up. And Allah Does not Love the oppressors

 

[uniqueskates]

AssalaamuAlaikum wa rehamatullahi wa barakatuhu..

A few i would like to include..

1. Please stick to the title of the thread/post.. I happen to find a few [posts, blown out of proportion.. One such was "Saudi Women In Olympics".. It ain't harming anybody, discussion is pretty much healthy, do agree.. I expected something and i got to see something else

2. Please don't generalize. Be specific and to the point.

3. Don't point fingers of accusation unless you know the actual TRUTH[Which is almost impossible to know these days]. As i said in one of my post "Justice must and has to prevail"..

4. Please be polite in asking, saying things.. I don't think that would cost much.. At times, i feel as if "I have come to a wrong website!! "..

We are Muslims with shortcomings, am sure everyone out here is on the quest to improve oneself to please our Allah(SWT).. But atleast we can work together to reach our ultimate goal in life..

May Allah(SWT) bless us, forgive our sins, guide us to the straight path.. Ameen.
Peace

 

[Aisya al-Humaira]

Wa`alaykum as-salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh,

Here is the thread of the languages that should be used in TTI: Language Policy on TTI

I'm going to address it in general thus when I use "YOU", I'm not pointing towards you, Brother Abd Al-Hadi.

It's been a while I have observed this issues. Many times people tend to get so emotional which lead them to use inappropriate, unnecessary, impolite and cursing words towards the others. You are talking to your brothers and sisters in Islaam, ya ikhwaan wa akhwaat. Not your enemy. This really is not the akhlaaq (behavior) that the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi was-salaam has taught us.

One VERY crucial thing to keep in mind when replying to a post: Don't talk or use words that you don't want others to use against you too. Another crucial matter to remember is, when we discuss or debate, it isn't about winning. It is about finding the truth. And sometimes we just have to LOWER our ego a bit to admit that we are wrong or just agree to disagree.

If you feel that anger is controlling you at the moment, don't let yourself post anything no matter how passionate you are, instead sit back for a while, recite the Istighfaar and Ta`awudz and reply only AFTER you have calmed down.

Thirdly, it's important to guard our words when addressing to opposite genders. No matter what age, country, culture, upbringing etc. We all know this is an Islaamic forum so please represent the real Islaam instead of giving Islaam a bad name due to our behaviors.

The choices of your words represent your akhlaaq. Your akhlaaq represent your heart. And altogether it represent who you really are, although people can fake their identity but people cannot always fake their personalities. It will usually be tested when they are in anger.

Before pressing the "Submit Reply" button, re-read your post and try putting yourself in the others' shoes. What would they feel if they read such post.

And yes, I agree its always best to be clear and precise in your words rather than beating around the bush. Say it in a way that is understandable to the natives and also to the non-native English speakers. This will avoid misunderstanding, offensive feelings and what not.

I'm not saying I am perfect as I have my own shortcomings too, may Allaah forgive me.

Again, always remember that we are all here to learn and teach Islaam, to find the truth and not to stand out to be among those who are most liked by everyone or to loudly voice out our opinions that might be flawed and against the Qur`an and Sunnah.

Everything that I wrote is a reminder to myself, first and foremost.

Wa`alaykum as-salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh.

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

Second one:

Don't: Don't tell a brother or sister to "shut up." This is a public forum and every has a right to speak, as long as they follow the rules. Only oppressors want to shut people up. And Allah Does not Love the oppressors

Asalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh.

This one is for me. Got it.

BaraakAllaahu feek.

Adding a Don't (for myself):

Don't talk to members older than you in a manner that you don't use for your mother. If annoyed, keep silent. That's a do.

 

[PeacefulHumanity]

:salam2:

General Rules that apply to any online forum:

1) Always use concise and descriptive titles when creating threads. Vague titles like "Help," "I have a question," or "What is this" degrade the quality of the forums and make it difficult for the right people to get to your question.

2) Speak as grammatically correct as possible. If English is not your native language this is okay. Speak as best you can to accurately convey your thoughts. If English is your native language, use it properly as an example to other users. Never use "lolspeak" or "IM speak." Poor communication often starts unnecessary arguments.

For this forum in particular:

The Internet may grant you anonymity, but Allah (SWT) still sees what you are writing and knows who you are. Speak to a person as if they are standing directly in front of you and the whole world is watching (because on the Internet, they are).

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam alaikum,

Good reminder...just use the best of manners. It is not personal. We represent a diversity within Islam.

 

[MuslimShadow]

Assalamo alaikum.

Nice initiative.

We should keep this in mind in order to not misjudge others.

*Do not read between the lines.*

Thank you.

 

[alf2]

I like the general rule - if you cant say something nice, dont speak at all.

Also, I call people ignorant all the time in real life! Ignorance is curable, stupidity is not.

Now...Lets all make up and forgive each other. Because in a world where everyone wants to fight Muslims, we cannot afford to fight amongst ourselves.

 

[strive-may-i]

Prophet said:“It is better to sit alone than in company with the bad, and it is better still to sit with the good than alone. It is better to speak to a seeker of knowledge than to remain silent, but silence is better than idle words.”

Narrated Abu Hurairah: Allah’s Messenger said, “He who believes in Allah and the Last Day must not harm his neighbor and he who believes in Allah and the Last Day must show hospitality to his guest, and he who believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak good or remain silent.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)



Allah’s Messenger said, “The heaviest thing to be placed in the balance of a believing slave on the Day of Judgement will be good behavior.” [Narrated Abud-Darda, Al-Tirmidhi]
Allah’s Messenger saidAllah’s Messenger said to Ashaj Abdul-Qasis, “You possess two such qualities as Allah loves. These are clemency and tolerance.” [Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas, Muslim]
Allah’s Messenger said "Pride and arrogance is rejecting the truth and looking down upon people." [Muslim, At Tirmidhi & Abu Dawud]


Allah’s Messenger said, “The dearest and nearest among you to me on the Day of Resurrection will be one who is the best of you in conduct; and the most abhorrent among you to me and the farthest of you from will be the pompous boastful braggarts, and Al-Mutafaihiqun.” The Companions asked him: “O Allah’s Messenger! We know about the pompous boastful braggarts, but we do not know who Al-Mutafaihiqun are.” He replied: “The arrogant people.” [Narrated Jabir, Al-Tirmidhi]

Allah’s Messenger said, “Beware! Avoid sitting on the roads (ways).” The People said: “There is no way out of it as these are our sitting places where we have talks.” Allah’s Messenger said, “If you have to sit there, then observe the rights of the way.” They asked, “What are the rights of the way?” He said, “They are the lowering of your gazes (on seeing what is illegal to look at), refraining from harming people (removal of obstruction), returning greetings, enjoining good and forbidding evil.” [Narrated Abu Sa’id Al-Khudri; Al-Bukhari and Muslim]