Question: WHAT WOULD YOU DO AT MY PLACE?

[hayat84]

salam 'alikum to everyone,sincerely.I'd like to greet you,one by one,I'd like one day,to meet your face and share with you what I do here on tti.I ask you a question and I hope it will help me(and yo) to come to a solution.
Among the signs of the End there are 2 ones which recalled my interest..people will give more attentions to dogs than to their dears and homosexuality will be normal into the society.I see with my eyes that people are totally involved in what is out of time and spacewhere will our Ummah go within 30-40 years?You'll say,"Allah knows",it's obvious,but we ,as "poor" innocents in the hands of Allah,how long must we wait before that "sweet wind" will breath over our souls=I'm aware of my choses,I decided to step into Islam and I want not to turn my decision off(forgive my bad english,it's about 9 years since I've had the dyplome,but it was only a sheer of paper).I sometime have the sensation and the wish to left evrything I have and go far away from this mess.I feel breathless,Allah is really testing me so much,to see my despairation come out?What would you do at my place,if you had 5 kids to grow up and a partner who is busy all day long,because he has to provide to the family?
I feel that there is not much time left for me.have you ever felt the necessity to have a break from everything?I ask Allah to forgive my bad intentions,however He is only our creator,He can decide how long we can live,how many times I've hoped not to wake up,because of the badness of this terrestrial life?I see people living like machines,they work like robots,without feelings,heart,cold like the ice,empty.Maybe the life is hard with me,to make me understand that it can't rain forever.The sun in sh Allah will rise over my face,and one day I won't need to log in on tti to share my words with you(who I've never seen),because we'll meet by person.This virtual space can make us closer,but it's like playing a videogame,because the people who read my posts meet me without seeing me.Is this the End?"In That day a hand will come down from the sky and everybody will stare at it.everybody will look at that listen in its own language,regardless from which part of the globe it is".
I hope you've understood my message,I'm confused,tired,but I'll die muslima!
Thank you for spending some time with me

 

[um muhammad al-mahdi]

assalamu alaykum ukhti,

You mean, you are tired of the way you live this dunya?

I was thinking, do you attend Arabic or Qur'an classes?

Jazakillahu khayran

 

[uniqueskates]

Well, I do agree to an extent. Even I get burnt out many a times, there is a feeling of running away to a land where there is peace, humanity, smiles [eeeeeee ], laughter, brotherhood etc. But, that's all in Jannah, not over here. At those times, only thing I do is, go back to my Salah, put my head down and beg my Rabb to fill my heart with iman. I read the Quran and find something surprising to ponder upon. Alhamdulilah, I get back normal. At times, it takes a few days (2-3 days) to get back to normal sister. Patience is the key, keep doing your Salah, read Quran whenever possible (even if it just 5 ayats a day!) read some story about a Sahaba and keep making Dua'a to Allah SWT to strengthen your heart.

There is this 3 ayats which makes me weep.

Your Lord (O Muhammad (Peace be upon him)) has neither forsaken you nor hated you.​

And indeed the Hereafter is better for you than the present (life of this world).​

And verily, your Lord will give you (all i.e. good) so that you shall be well-pleased.​

[Ad-Duhaa, 93:3-5 ]​

​

Peace.​

 

[hayat84]

no sister,where I live,there are no arabic lessons and Qur'an
my oppression is due to the fact that I imagine this so called happiness,but it is in the Other life.my temporary joy are my dears,but I know that they will not help me in the Akhira.I feel like in a bobble of soap,and fear that the "oprressors"(misguided/kafara)overcome to my intention to be a guide for my family.I'm fighted between the decision to leave Italy and go to Morocco,and stay in Itlay because of my parents.
on the other side,there is too much Fitnah,.and with no one to take as example to follow/share,I'm almost alone.I'm not depressed,instead!I can't allow to myself this feeling,but I continue to see the life with other eyes,I can't explain with simple words,I wish not to write here,just to see each one of you in your eyes.This is Dajjal,I wish not to write here,but I know that I'd miss you.He gives the illusion that I can touch the sky with a finger.what I mean,is that you shouldn't get surprised if one day I'll stop writing:in that day I'll have found my inner quietness.in that day maybe I won't need all this.

 

[um muhammad al-mahdi]

no sister,where I live,there are no arabic lessons and Qur'an
my oppression is due to the fact that I imagine this so called happiness,but it is in the Other life.my temporary joy are my dears,but I know that they will not help me in the Akhira.I feel like in a bobble of soap,and fear that the "oprressors"(misguided/kafara)overcome to my intention to be a guide for my family.I'm fighted between the decision to leave Italy and go to Morocco,and stay in Itlay because of my parents.
on the other side,there is too much Fitnah,.and with no one to take as example to follow/share,I'm almost alone.I'm not depressed,instead!I can't allow to myself this feeling,but I continue to see the life with other eyes,I can't explain with simple words,I wish not to write here,just to see each one of you in your eyes.This is Dajjal,I wish not to write here,but I know that I'd miss you.He gives the illusion that I can touch the sky with a finger.what I mean,is that you shouldn't get surprised if one day I'll stop writing:in that day I'll have found my inner quietness.in that day maybe I won't need all this.

assalamu alaykum Hayat,

You could have Qur'an and/or Arabic classes online! Send me a PM if interested inshallah.

Allah knows everyone' situation but I would suggest you to go to Morocco inshallah!

jazakillahu khayran

 

[hayat84]

suster Umm MuhammedAlaMahdi,you're a good adviser!
about online arabic lessons,I don't think I need them,because I've already learnt arabic language's basis,if I need to talk arabic I'm able to do it.I think I'll go to Morocco,but it won't change my mental status

 

[um muhammad al-mahdi]

assalamu alaykum,

What about Qur'an? It can become your daily 'fuel' and help you with your mental status inshallah wa Allahu alam.

Jazakillahu khayran

 

[hayat84]

it's unavoidable,once a month it happens the same thing,I have strange dreams with visions of a creature.I start reading the best surats I know,and this evil "jumps" from me to my sweetheart.I ask him to help me in that moment,but after some moments he forgets everything and accuses me to be a liar.I've also drawn the evil which disturbes me.it comes from my parents and try to destroy all what I've made.try to give a look to my passed posts,if you give an attentive look,you'll notice that periodly there is a thread in which I ask help from this forum,thebn after a long dispute,the evil goes away.A'dhu billahi ta'ala,I'm just a victim of this curse,it doesn't abandon me,in a moment like this I need to stay alone with this evil and hunt it away,but I can't.I confess that to "fight" it my prayers aren't enough,he asks more than that.another one would have a raptus and do something very bad,but me,I'm striving to resist.
I'm not genetically patient and when I see an obstacle in front of me I try to avoid it.that's why I'm asking if I'm an unique case of madness on this Earth or I'm really a too much good person,that the more I pray,the more this evil harms me.if I was a disbeliever,I'd ask "where is Allah?"as reverted,I have to say that once a month I spend the worst minutes of my life and I don't know why.
and I know that it's due to the evil which calls me toward him.there are 2 solutions, or I leave my family(shaytan wants family's breakdown)and go back to my passed life(apostasy is the best for evil),or I suffer and stay firm into my belief,risking to be judged silly and lose my beloved

 

[hayat84]

Fattura periodica
Una fattura si chiama periodica quando viene
rinnovata di tanto in tanto .
L'azione periodica viene scelta per non
essere troppo esposti in caso di colpo
di ritorno,in quanto l'energia inviata è
di bassa entità e piu facilmente assimilabile
dall'affatturato.Il rinnovamento dell'operazione
magica avviene di norma una volta al mese,
sempre nello stesso giorno e alla stessa ora;
di preferenza viene scelta la mezzanotte
in punto o tra le ventitrè e la mezzanotte...
That's what I've found on internet,it is what I feel in this periode and I know that it comes from my father..He knows many things about black eye and magic,but once a month he maybe needs to reload himself sending to me this curse.I should read Qur'an to him and let him stop to harm me.now he substains that he's reached the "enlightment"I thought that he would have changed,but he is slave of the evil and wants me to surrender.Thank you for your time,now I know what to do.forgive me if I was weak.

 

[Mabsoot]

and I know that it's due to the evil which calls me toward him.there are 2 solutions, or I leave my family(shaytan wants family's breakdown)and go back to my passed life(apostasy is the best for evil),or I suffer and stay firm into my belief,risking to be judged silly and lose my beloved

Assalamu alaykum ukhti, have patience and try to get some help for yourself and your husband from a trusted Imam, in sha Allah . I am not sure what this problem is, as sister Umm Muhammad recommended, try reading Quran, also listening to it, keep it playing on your computer or radio. Have a lot of patience because the shaitan will try to dissuade you and turn you away from the beauty and truth of Islam.

wallahu a'lam

wasalamu alaykum

 

[AyeshaPS]

Assalam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu ukhti!
If I say, i know 'exactly' what you're going through, i'd be wrong! so i'd rather just say, i've been through some hard times too. Sometimes i want to run away to some place quiet! As a human being my faith does go weak sometimes and later i blame myself for it too, but if logic is put forward, we're just human beings! we have weak minds and weak hearts! Like a little walk and exercise strengthens the muscles, there's, let's just say some spiritual exercises that might help to strengthen our souls too!
Sister, this world really is just an exam hour, a very long one indeed, but it'll go by too! then, the real life will start! The world's a heaven for a non-muslim, but for a muslim, it's merely a sketch that'll wash out with the first signs of rain! That's the rain that will fertile our souls, depending on how we've been doing in this exam hour! I know what i'm saying right now might actually sound perplexed (that's cuz i really am perplexed right now, i have some really important exams going on so all i have on my head is organic chemistry, kinetic energy and insulin manufacture so i really am not to be the one blamed after all! ) but somebody i'll probably like to put light onto the matter with you InshaAllah!
The point is, even if this life is just like a bubble for us muslims, then lets just unite and make a sea, and together we can do this InshaAllah!
I'd suggest, you find your trust in a sister living nearer by, and spend time together. Maybe have small lunch breaks, play scrabble, plain little games that have an islamic perspective to them, maybe that helps! But again, that's just my perspective!
Wishing you peace and tranquility ukhti,
Wassalam

 

[esperanza]

Dear sister its a long while I did not come to this siteand tonight I did and found your letter . Dear you are not alonefirt and most important yyou have Allah and then you have your husband and children.

I am lucky as I live in an islamic country. But is not easy have ha many had lonely times. I have no family apaart ftonm my husband and boys and few friends

I have faced hard timesd whe have had dewep depp problems and noone to turn tto .lonely scared. We all face deep challenges but that is life dear the inmportant is to hold fast to our faith

 

[hayat84]

I thank you deeply,I'm so happy to know that I'm not alone.I've written a ruqya on the door of the entrance of my home,so before entering both me and my husnad will cleanse our badness from outside and try to make good thought,it's difficult to be quiete with 5 kids,but I deeply believe that with the right therapy I'll be totally healed.The evil come punctually to tempt my faith above all during the night through my dreams.everytime I'm stronger than before,and it's also thank to your support that I've become a better person.A great Thank you to everybody