Why this always happen in Masjids ?

[IslamIsLight]

salam aleikum

I just want to share something that has been bothering me recently ,and something that I have noticed in many MASJIDS..
Why is that in every Masjid,Im talking about women's area ,there would be people pointing at you and telling you what to do?

I've seen it so many times ,where other sisters would comment on somebody's prayer or clothes or jewelry...
Yes I agree there is nothing wrong in giving advice,but in proper manner ..
And before even giving that advice why nobody even come and ask the sister ,whats her name ,her background and trying to know her ..

We are the ones who turning people away from masjids ,especially reverts .
I am as a revert ,has experienced this many many times and I tried to stay strong and ignore ,even though many times I told myself I dont want to go to Masjid again ,because of people always say something..

WHY dont everyone focus on their own deeds,their own looks,their own Salah ,why picking on others ? On little mistakes or differences ..
I'm jost so annoyed of this attitude ,of looks ,of remarks..
Where is the compation for each other and understanding ?

Please before giving remarks or judging each other in the Masjid ,get to know each other ,get to know everyones condition and background ....Please ,please ,please

waaleikum salam

 

[Salem9022]

maybe they are unemployed and want to know what kind of job you do so they can also look into it

 

[IHearIslam]

Assalamu Alaikum dear sister

wo0o0o0ow!!! I gotta say it's because of IGNORANCE!!! may Allah protect us all, I am sure you know that this is unIslamic! I understand where you're coming from dear sister, they are some people like that.....we just need to ignore and move on. If you can correct 'em, please try to do so. Because this is wrong, and when we see wrong, we have to stop it with our hands, if we cannot then with our mouth, if we cannot then with our heart!! please be patient and DONT EVER leave the MASJID! It's the house of Allah and He welcomes ALL!

Please before giving remarks or judging each other in the Masjid ,get to know each other ,get to know everyones condition and background ....Please ,please ,please

Thanks ukhti, walahi this is a good advice may we all act upon it!ameen Ya Ilahi! InshaAllah I will keep you and others who are in the same situation in MY duas.
Allah hafiz now and always dear ukhti
!~HUG~!
LOVE YOU FIALLAH

 

[UmmHadiqah]

Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh Ukhti,

I thought I was the only one...

Before salams is returned, before a welcome, before anything...come the critics. One reason I don't rush to masjid for anything...it's sad. Now, don't take me wrong...goodhearted advice is ALWAYS welcome...but given with a gentle spirit is better InshaAllah (instead of what seemingly seems to be out of spite)

May Allah Subhana wa ta'ala keep the umma strong. Ameen

 

[musliminah 05]

:tti_sister::salam2:
I can totally relate to this too. It is totally Un- Islamic, at first I found this kind of behavour very confusing as a revert (few years ago) but now I have come accross this sooo much I dont put myself in that position very often now. I stay away from gatherings because it affected my Iman, I felt sooo hurt at times if I tryed to go to Taleem and nobody would ingage in a conversation with me or would just talk amonst themselves - wouldnt translate ect, it really hurt me. If I went to a gathering of women (wedding ect) nobody would talk with me give me Salaams. Even now when I go shopping alot of the time when I see a sister and try and give Salaams they look at you gone out!! So you pull back - I guess it is just the state of the muslims today. Inshallah I must work harder to gain faith. Remember one thing sis that Allahs love is totally unconditonal nothing can beat that in a way that he will never let you down. We have to try also and make excusses for others maybe they didnt hear you give Salaam ect- if we dont then we can also become bitter. Hence why I try not to put myself in that position anymore- as sad as it is it protects my Iman.......

 

[Musulmanin]

.......................

 

[ahmed_indian]

i think lack of proper iman and no understanding of backbiting.

 

[Asja]

Assalamu Allaicum

I love to go in mosques on prayer Alahdmulillah,alhough some situacions made me uncomfortable.

Once I was praying in mosues there was one older lady who was praying next to me. I have put my misbaha infornt of me,and when she came she put her litlle carpet for prayer and cover my misbaha.On the end of prayer I was looking for my misbaha but I could not find it anywhere.After that I decided to take it from the box next to me where were misbahas from mosque.I have just started to recite,when this lady took misbaha from my hands and gave me mine.Wallahi I felt very uncomfortable about this.:shymuslima1:

There is also one situacion that I remember. After we have finsihed with our prayer in mosque,me and my sister were staying infront of mosque when one lady came and asked us "Where you are from,who are your parents".After we have answered ,she said Mashallah for us, and she said also "Mashallah we have beautiful,young and pious Muslim man for you two ".:shymuslima1:
Me and my sister just smiled becasue we felt unconfortable to say anything.

May Allah guide our Ummah.Ameen.:tti_sister:

 

[kubra_2002]

salaam

:salam2: sister, I understand what you're talking about, but trust that doesn't happen only to the revert sister wallahi, I am born muslim and sometimes people do tell me what to do in masjid and I'll just take it easy. and also they are probably just tyring to help you. when I see new person inmasjid sitting by themselve sometimes I do go and talk to them so that they feel left out or lonely, hope people don take that wrong, and if I see a person doing something unislamic or wrong in the masjid or else where sister we have to tell them in a good way. There hadith where prophet(SAW) said man ra'a Minkum Munkaran Falyugayir Bilisani, so we see our sister doing sin without knowing its our duty to giude them. Allah knows best.

 

[AleahKoto]

It seems to be normal for some reason. Then you get the "I am a real muslim, born muslim, you are a revert." I find that most of them don't even know what their religion teaches, have not read much on anything, and just blindly follow whoever or whatever.

And yes, they chase off new muslims fast. We had 5 new sisters, and they eventually left because of all the hypocrisy and backbiting by the sisters. They ended up saying it was no different than the churches....sad. I imagine they will be asked on the day of judgment, why did you do that and chase someone away?

 

[a_muslimah86]

There are people who do worst things..there are people who break every single etiquette of the masjid..and take the house of Allah for a children's playground/socializing spot (the slash is not for *or* it is for *and*)..this *especially* gets under my skin..even more than the actions of those who try to be the shaikh or shaikhas of the bunch and come point out your mistakes..

Look sister..

If somebody is going to give advice..before doing so..they need to look at themselves..and LOOK HARD..so before anyone steps up to you..they should check how many mistakes they make..how many obligations they are heedless about..how many times they have missed what's required of them..how many shortcomings they've had..and how little they have explored in this deen!

The companions..who were the best of Muslims..some of which were GUARANTEED JANNAH!..did not walk around dropping pointers and corrections..if anything..they were actually dreading doing something wrong or unacceptable by Allah *themselves* (and did I mention already many of these companions were GURANTEED JANNAH?!)..imagine then how little right we have to step up to others in the masjid or anywhere and tell them..do this..grab that..pull this down..pick that up..et cetra!..*especially* if we don't have the *correct Islamic manners* through which we can do so!

Before I end this I just want to say sister..if anyone ever does something like this to you again..simply reply back with the words of a beautiful and very wise hadith..just say...

"before noticing the gunk in my eye, notice the branch in yours!"

You might think you'll sound harsh..but don't we all agree that *the truth hurts?*..and aren't we responsible for uttering the truth?..besides sister..people who set aside *manners* and pick up *the I'm superior* attitude..deserve THAT huge of an ICY BUCKET of a verbal statement poured over them!...

Unless someone comes to you with utmost respect and friendliness and advices you (with the conviction that they have done this to *themselves* first and foremost)..then there's no need for their "advice"..they can keep it to themselves because it *reeks* of *unislamicity*..and *hypocrisy*

P.S. if you still feel it's harsh to say what I quoted above..smile while saying it..it will make the person in front of you *think very hard about what they did*..thus you will save another sister/brother the mishap of listening to someone "correcting the ummah away" when they probably cannot even *name* you the 3 categories of tawheed *without* defining them! (notice I said...*without* defining them)

 

[D.Ahmed]

It seems to be normal for some reason. Then you get the "I am a real muslim, born muslim, you are a revert." I find that most of them don't even know what their religion teaches, have not read much on anything, and just blindly follow whoever or whatever.

And yes, they chase off new muslims fast. We had 5 new sisters, and they eventually left because of all the hypocrisy and backbiting by the sisters. They ended up saying it was no different than the churches....sad. I imagine they will be asked on the day of judgment, why did you do that and chase someone away?

That makes me really sad to hear what a shame it really is, Insha-Allah its nothing like that on the brother's side at least not that i've heard of. Let us all pray things like this disappear from the ummah.

 

[safiya58]

:salam2:

it also happened to me so many times (and I´m not a revert)... what offended me so much was when ppl didn´t let me know what I was doing wrong but go to a sister and talked about me in a foreign language but I knew they was talking about me....! I was so angry... And I don´t deny I don´t know much cuz I´m a repenter!

I always go from one mesjid to another. I like it to meet muslims with diffrent nationalities. but bec my girlfriednd prayed a little bit diffrent (cuz diffrent mazhab) the women get annoyed and asked me to take my friend and stay in the last succession next time cuz we are confusing them... it hurt!

and once after juma prayer I wanted to leave and said everyone As salamu aleykum in a kind way and then an old lady stoped me and said infront of all pll what I have done wrong...! it was so embarrassing to me...

but what I hate most is that the local mesjids seem to be estranged! There is no unity! once I heard ppl in a mesjid talking bad about another mesjid...! even my girlfriend is talking like "I like the thoughts of this mesjid and dislike the thoughts of that mesjid"...! this should not be!

But still I will not leave the mesjid. I visit it for Allah. and some jahil sisters will not stop me.

May Allah guide us!

 

[yasmeen7420]

:salam2:

I have to say, I am fortunate that I have not had this problem at the masjid I attend. The first time I went, the Imam asked one of the older ladies to help me and show me what to do and ever since, she has always been very kind to me when I am there. She takes me around and introduces me to everyone. She has a couple of daughters that are around my age and she made sure that I met them. So far, mash allah, I have not encountered this and hope I wont.

Insha'Allah you will find a place to go where you wont have this problem.

:tti_sister:

 

[IslamIsLight]

salam aleikum

They ended up saying it was no different than the churches....sad

This is what I forgot to mention in my first post ,that this kind of behaviour in Masjids remind me some old church ,where everyone will give you evil look and watch your every step and judge you ..

 

[Musulmanin]

......................

 

[Mrmuslim]

salaam Alikom,

First of all we shouldnt use the word revert or converet, Muslim is a Muslim there is no difference between a born muslim or a person who became Muslim except by Taqwa, so we need to stop using this word.

# 2 This issue is in every mosque you go to its more in women section since its a separate area than the men area, sisters are more senstive than men so they take it more personnally but all they have to do is to write a letter to imam of the mosque or just say Jazaakom Allah khair for the person who is trying to advise and let it go because if you keep thinking about it you will never get over it. This problem is not going a way ** not soon** it happens in mens area too so just ignore it if they are sincere in their advise they will tell you in a nice way if they are wrong, let them know they are wrong


khair. wa salaaam alikom

 

[salafi]

:astag:
we should try to be nice and avoid such things especially giving someone an advice in front of other ppl like "hey u need to brush ur teeth " or "hey u need to shower more often "
i mean its an advice but we should and try to be more gentle and care for other ppl feelings
the best way to give advice is being an example or role model or something anyways
salam walikom

 

[icadams]

As salamu Alaykum,

It happens with the men as well. It is unfortunate that this kind of thing happens in the masjid, it is really sad. I think people like this tend to be a little insecure, and find it easier to point out our mistakes and failures rather than turn their eyes upon themselves. I have always found that being polite, and thanking the person for taking the time to help me, and then going on and doing what I think is best, seems to work quite well. Don't let others pettiness get to you, and don't fall into the same trap yourself.

 

[ahmed_indian]

There is also one situacion that I remember. After we have finsihed with our prayer in mosque,me and my sister were staying infront of mosque when one lady came and asked us "Where you are from,who are your parents".After we have answered ,she said Mashallah for us, and she said also "Mashallah we have beautiful,young and pious Muslim man for you two ".:shymuslima1:

this really made me smile