Past Harams......

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AZAM_SIDDIQUI

Junior Member
a Q outside the topic, what exactly is the difference between adultery and fornication ?

Diane, I got married at the grand age of 31 and my wife is the 1st woman (and hopefully the last) in my life ... if anything, Im actually proud of this

forcation is --------b4 marriage
adultery is----------after marrige
for fornication (for muslims that is) 80 stripes
adultery -------death penalty

but conditions to prove are very strict.there must be atleast 4 witnesses..which gven the nature of the deeds is difficult.
most of the covictions are by people themselves.

it is a big sin for a muslim,because we know it in advance it is a sin .
so brother thank allah that you were saved from it .
wooohoooho.ya Allah i am just 21 ,have mercy.lol
 

dianek

Junior Member
forcation is --------b4 marriage
adultery is----------after marrige
for fornication (for muslims that is) 80 stripes
adultery -------death penalty

but conditions to prove are very strict.there must be atleast 4 witnesses..which gven the nature of the deeds is difficult.
most of the covictions are by people themselves.

it is a big sin for a muslim,because we know it in advance it is a sin .
so brother thank allah that you were saved from it .
wooohoooho.ya Allah i am just 21 ,have mercy.lol

Well I am/was/not sure christian and new it to be a sin as well. I had a friend in school who was a hard core christian and she never ever went on a date until her father introduced her to a studying pastor and they married. So not all are like I was.......I just wanted to be wanted I think.......I wanted to feel "desirable", but older wiser me knows that was just dumb and thank GOD I have no health issues as a fall out! It's funny.....but it is a commentary on the world today......that I always prided myself for waiting until I was 17 and was with a steady boyfriend.......while others were much younger and with many people in school......I thought I was being the good one! HA!

But my point is that it is a grave sin in christianity as well.......my best friend is catholic and is getting married in 2 weeks at 8 months pregnant.....I love her but, I am surprised the Priest is willing to do the ceremony! This is her 5th child with 4 different fathers. Mind you she was married to them all. 32 and 3 divorces......
 

AZAM_SIDDIQUI

Junior Member
sis diane think of the future now.forget the past.just realize that when you say the kalima everything will be of a surety be washed of your soul.
but dont protrude your husband his sins if any must be weighing on him like the super gravity black holes.

,realize the verse of surah nisa.in which Allah commands do not hold yourselves pure.if it was not our Mercy you wuld have been destroyed {by your sins} see this is so true for me for mcbath for your husband for you infct since it is from the Glorious Quran it is true for each and every person for all times to come.

sister diane is IT NOT TIME FOR BOTH OF YOU TO PUT YOUR HEADS TOGHETHER AND TRY FOR A WORTHIER AND PURE FUTURE FOR YOUR CHILDREN.

ya i m waiting for the response .
 

AZAM_SIDDIQUI

Junior Member
as for christianity whats the meaning of a good deed when you dont believe in one All powerful GOD .

a priest doesnot have a family bcoz he is above it.
....................................and god has a son !!!!!!!!!!

trademark hypocrisy.
 

AZAM_SIDDIQUI

Junior Member
i think you are a bit worried about niqaab at work place..

see you dont have to wear a burqa .
wear normal clothes just cover your hair with a cloth like virgin mary did{and amongst women who was a purer muslim than her} your hands and face can remain as they are ..........

well how far does your husband know of whats going on here at tti or in your mind
 

dianek

Junior Member
as for christianity whats the meaning of a good deed when you dont believe in one All powerful GOD .

a priest doesnot have a family bcoz he is above it.
....................................and god has a son !!!!!!!!!!

trademark hypocrisy.

never thought of it that way.........interesting!
 

a_muslimah86

Hubbi Li Rabbi
Staff member
God knows he is a PRIVATE kind of man.......doesn't even like me to discuss our married life with my best of friends.....doesn't stop me but that is another story...

Tunisia.....I have been twice, my son 4 times and Aya 3 times......it is nice enough in tourist areas.......the regular places are dirty and dusty.......God only knows how much I missed a bath tub and toilet paper while there!!! LOL!!! But Hammemett, Tabarka, Tunis CAPITAL, Sidi Bou Said, and where our vacation house is in El Houraia are BEAUTIFUL!!!!!! And his family is wonderful.....they have all finished university and atleast are able to communicate in broken English.....but we often resort to speaking french (I studied for 5 years, though i suck at it)........his mother is the most selfless person other than my mom that I have ever met. BUT......I will say this.....Tunisian women outside the family are RUDE!!!!! When we would go to public places they would stare at me with this "What is she doing with our muslim man?".........they seemed very hostile.....now Tunisian MEN.......VERY FRIENDLY outside of the family.......

HOWEVER.......my favorite place for friendly people in the world (as I have known it)........Bahamians!!!!!!!! The people in Freeport Bahamas are just loads of Fun!!!!!

LOL..i just noticed this post of yours..

you are a lucky woman indeed diane...when your husband's family are comfortable with you and accept you..that is a huge thing..and it's a blessing..cuz when you get married...you're not marrying *the man*..you're marrying *the family*..and as you might have found-out by now..we are a very family-oriented society..

as for tunisian women..you are right..i would be surprised if you say otherwise..they viewed you as a threat..and feel like they're in a competition to keep the arab guys for the arab ladies..

too bad they forget that the hearts of men and women and the destines they encounter due to them..are in the hands of The Almighty..and He alone decrees such matters for each of us :hijabi:

salam
 

AZAM_SIDDIQUI

Junior Member
nd you have to worry about your parents.see they must also know the kalima before ......meeting the King.Allahhuakbar.



'My Lord! Bestow Thy mercy upon my parents, as they raised me up when I was little' (al-Isra' 17: 24)


Book 32, Number 6181:
Abu Huraira reported that a person said: Allah's Messenger, who amongst the people is most deserving of my good treatment?
He said: Your mother, again your mother, again your mother, then your father, then your nearest relatives according to the order (of nearness).
 

dianek

Junior Member
LOL..i just noticed this post of yours..

you are a lucky woman indeed diane...when your husband's family are comfortable with you and accept you..that is a huge thing..and it's a blessing..cuz when you get married...you're not marrying *the man*..you're marrying *the family*..and as you might have found-out by now..we are a very family-oriented society..

as for tunisian women..you are right..i would be surprised if you say otherwise..they viewed you as a threat..and feel like they're in a competition to keep the arab guys for the arab ladies..

too bad they forget that the hearts of men and women and the destines they encounter due to them..are in the hands of The Almighty..and He alone decrees such matters for each of us :hijabi:

salam

Very family oriented....there was always some one over their house......THIS will be a HUGE adjustment for me during vacations to Tunis.......I am not comfortable with so many people making themselves at home in my house.....but i will be gracious!
 

dianek

Junior Member
LOL..i just noticed this post of yours..

you are a lucky woman indeed diane...when your husband's family are comfortable with you and accept you..that is a huge thing..and it's a blessing..cuz when you get married...you're not marrying *the man*..you're marrying *the family*..and as you might have found-out by now..we are a very family-oriented society..

as for tunisian women..you are right..i would be surprised if you say otherwise..they viewed you as a threat..and feel like they're in a competition to keep the arab guys for the arab ladies..

too bad they forget that the hearts of men and women and the destines they encounter due to them..are in the hands of The Almighty..and He alone decrees such matters for each of us :hijabi:

salam

I am the only foreigner in the Family over there.....His mother LOVES me, she said to him that he should hold tight to me, that I bring "sprit" (guessing spirit) with me........

I felt very uncomfortable out and about with Imed in the non-tourist areas....I made sure he held my hand for security! ha!
 

twas19

Junior Member
Salaam o Alaikum



I guess this is one of the best ayahs of Holy Quran considered for Repentence


"O 'Ibadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Al Zumar (39:53)


walaikum salam
 

AZAM_SIDDIQUI

Junior Member
never thought of it that way.........interesting!

really think of santa claus.a religion that makes people lie to their kids about santa claus and tells them to teach their kids never to lie.

trademark hypocrisy.
a person converted because of the hurt he felt when he ame to know that santa claus is a commercial lie. he says it left him with sca r and he had a distrust of his parents about religion after that. and a desire to cheat them.


then if god is just
why would he punish an innocent being like prophet jesus for sins of others. strike two


if god could not save his own onl begoen son ,how a he save me ???


lastly if someone killed someone dear to me by a gun would i wear tht gun round my neck?


actually these sad things like fornication and all
started after WWii when on one hand american materialism was corrupting people and on the other hand there were more women than men because of the war. many women could not have a respectable life as there wereso few men to marry.request were sent to the pope to consider polgamy since it was never really banned in christianity.[bible has instances of prophets havig many wives]but the church remained adamant said suggestively ,let them find a way around.mny women from hardworking working class familes endedup being the play things of the rich[sometmes actually sometimes thru movies or advertisements women became the chewing gum of men.
] and to remove the stigma attached to such things.lberal ideas were propounded.femnism and all are male ideas only islam is GODS idea .so itworks for women as well. one feminists said she wanted to seta statement by sleepig with as many men as possible .and that was in japan .and men in my countr cheered in he newspapers.pls bring suh female liberation here also.

trademark hypocrisy.
thts why the hypocrits are goig to be in a worse level of hell than even satan.
for when stn disobeyed he said am disobeying .he dint go aroundfinding a way out.
 

dianek

Junior Member
i think you are a bit worried about niqaab at work place..

see you dont have to wear a burqa .
wear normal clothes just cover your hair with a cloth like virgin mary did{and amongst women who was a purer muslim than her} your hands and face can remain as they are ..........

well how far does your husband know of whats going on here at tti or in your mind

He doesn't, he told me the first time I mentioned the forum to not believe anything and don't talk to any men! He doesn't get me looking for answers outside of the Qu'ran, but in honesty....I can barely understand the verbage in the Bible, how can I understand the Qu'ran well enough to engage me?

I will keep in the dark until I have found what I need....
 

dianek

Junior Member
Salamu Alikum,
I don't want to sound mean, but if it were my wife and tells me this after marriage, I would be mad at her:angryred:for not telling me this b4 marriage. Not sure exactly how I would react, but I think I would be angry for few days.. And move on and consider past as past.

Well, I did tell him the night we met general stuff, numbers, etc. AND I was just separated, not divorced and he knew that, he paid for my divorce. He also knew I had a 4 year old daughter........he just doesn't want to know specifics about me or for me to say " I once dated this guy who....." You know what I mean.....
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Salaam,


Sister sister sister..do not be hard on yourself. Did not Allah subhana talla give you a good man for a husband. Are you not deserving of his love. Yes, you are. Now slow down and appreicate it. You are worthy of love.

Allah subhana talla forgives us when we ask for forgiveness. Repentence means you will not engage in that behavior again. It is over. It is over.

All that you did in the past, led you to who you are today. The painful experiences led you to being levelheaded and sane today. Be thankful in your prayers and daily life.

Always listen to a good man. As for the forum..it is a way of learning about Islam and the men here are innocent. The men are our brothers. These are pious men. These men honor us.

It is time for you to start leading others. Raise your children. Honor your husband and be devoted to him. What he wants is what you need to do...in the long run..it will make life more meaningful for you.

I suggest you read the biographies of the wives of the Prophet (swas). I know when I have my "moments" reflecting on their lives gives me a minute to center myself and rid myself of selfishness.
 

q8penpals

Junior Member
BUT......I will say this.....Tunisian women outside the family are RUDE!!!!! When we would go to public places they would stare at me with this "What is she doing with our muslim man?".........they seemed very hostile.....now Tunisian MEN.......VERY FRIENDLY outside of the family.......
!!!!!


Salam

I find the same thing with Kuwaiti women - I often get the "shoulder-bump" in the malls when I am walking with my husband - and the staring! Oooh the stares I get sometimes look like the women just wish I were gone, since I "stole" one of "their" men!

Inside my husband's family, alhumdilulah, his family loves me (or at least they say they do and are very nice to me) - both the Kuwaiti side and the Egyptian side.

And yes, Arab men are exremely private, although over time, my husband has leaked details about his life. He is more open about his actual childhood (i guess the fatherest away from now) than, say, his college years. BUT he is the sweetest, nicest, and most giving man I have ever known (alhumdiluluah!!). That said, he does have spurts of severe crabbiness, especially since his father died and he is still dealing with inheritance crap (it would be easy if all assets were just money, but with stocks, property, buildings, it gets insane here in Kuwait!).

Take care, (I have kinda lost the idea that I was writing about...)

Lana
 

dianek

Junior Member
Salam

I find the same thing with Kuwaiti women - I often get the "shoulder-bump" in the malls when I am walking with my husband - and the staring! Oooh the stares I get sometimes look like the women just wish I were gone, since I "stole" one of "their" men!

Inside my husband's family, alhumdilulah, his family loves me (or at least they say they do and are very nice to me) - both the Kuwaiti side and the Egyptian side.

And yes, Arab men are exremely private, although over time, my husband has leaked details about his life. He is more open about his actual childhood (i guess the fatherest away from now) than, say, his college years. BUT he is the sweetest, nicest, and most giving man I have ever known (alhumdiluluah!!). That said, he does have spurts of severe crabbiness, especially since his father died and he is still dealing with inheritance crap (it would be easy if all assets were just money, but with stocks, property, buildings, it gets insane here in Kuwait!).

Take care, (I have kinda lost the idea that I was writing about...)

Lana


My goodness, you live overseas? How did your family handle that? My husband would love for me to say okay lets pack it up and move to Tunisia....what stops me is my 11 year from my first marriage and the fact that my parents can't afford to come and mom won't fly to visit.....she would forever hold a grudge that I moved her grandkids out of the country and a small fear that if my husband got me there he might not allow me to come home again........stereotyping I know, but it is a possibility....
 

Mrmuslim

Smile you are @ TTI
Staff member
salaam alikom

I am not sure if any one read what sister BinMohammed posted


so i will post it here
In addition, the prophet peace be up on him ordered MEN and WOMEN to NOT discuss thier marriage life *Specially Private* with others even BEST friends

and ofcourse that dosnt mean if they have problems is to talk to some one who can solve it between them but just for the fun of it IT not ALLOWED.

and there are a lot of Ahadith in regards of this issue.

but for now...

From among the teachings of Allah's Messenger (salallahu alaihe wa-sallam) is to keep sins a secret matter. If someone commits a sinful act which is against the Commandments of Allah, or is against the moral character, or is such an act that may cause harm to one's honor, then he should keep it a secret and seek forgiveness from Allah in the darkness of night. The Messenger of Allah (salallahu alaihe wa-sallam) said: "My entire nation is safe, except al-Mujahirin (those who boast of their sins). Among the Mujaharah is that a man commits an (evil) act, and wakes up in the morning while Allah has kept his (sin) a secret, he says: "O Fulan! Last night I did this and that." He goes to sleep while Allah has kept his (sin) a secret but he wakes up in the morning and uncovers what Allah has kept a secret!" [Saheeh al-Bukharee]

Zayd ibn Aslam narrated, 'At the time of the Messenger of Allah(salallahu alaihe wa-sallam), a man admitted that he had committed fornication, so the Messenger of Allah asked for a whip. He was brought a broken whip, so he said: "Better than this." Then he was brought a new whip…, he then said: "Lesser than this.' So, he was brought a whip that was used and had thus become soft, and the Messenger (salallahu alaihe wa-sallam) ordered that he be whipped with it (a hundred times). He then said: "O People! It is time for you to refrain from transgressing Allah's limits. He who commits some of these filthy acts (such as fornication), let him hide under Allah's cover, for whoever admits what he has committed, we will establish Allah's Book as regards him (by applying the warranted punishment for this sin)." [Musnad Ahmad]

Abdullah Ibn Masoud (radiyallahu anhu) related, 'A man came to the Prophet and said: 'O Messenger of Allah! I have mingled with a woman in the far side of al-Medina, and I fulfilled my desire short of actually having sexual intercourse with her. So, here am I, judge me according to what you decide.' Umar Ibn al-Khattab (radiyallahu anhu) then said: 'Allah had kept your secret, why did not you keep your secret?' [Sharh Muslim]

Similarly, if one becomes aware of somebody else's sin, he should keep it a secret. Allah's Messenger (salallahu alaihe wa-sallam) said: "He, who relieves a hardship of this Dunya (word) for a believer, Allah will relieve (from him) a hardship of the Day of Resurrection; he who makes easy an indebted person, Allah will make it easy for him in the Dunya and the Hereafter; he who covers a Muslim (meaning his mistakes and shortcomings), Allah will cover him in the Dunya and the Hereafter…" [Muslim]

Abdullah Ibn Umar (radiyallahu anhu) related, "The Messenger of Allah (salallahu alaihe wa-sallam) once rose above the podium and then said with a loud voice, "O those who have embraced Islam only with their tongue, while Eemaan has not yet entered their hears, neither harm Muslims, nor mock them, nor try to expose their mistakes, for he who follows (searches for) the errors of his brother, Allah will follow his errors, and he whom Allah follows his errors, He will expose him even if he was in the middle of his home." [Saheeh al-Jamee] I

then exposing people's mistakes only occurs by the hypocrites and those whose Eemaan is so weak, that it did not yet fill their hearts…"

Exposing sins lead to humiliation and embarrassment, which ceases the possibility that the sinner might someday regret his mistake, seek forgiveness from Allah and purify his soul from sins because one of the things that prevent one from committing sins is the fear of humiliation. However, if the sinner knows that the people are already aware of his sins, then he does not experience the shame and distraction which he used to feel before and this might encourage him to commit sins openly!

Secondly, when sins are repeatedly mentioned in gatherings, etc. the fear of committing sins vanishes from the people's hearts. First the sin will become easy on people's tongue and gradually he, who does not feel any shame in mentioning the sin, will not find it difficult to even commit the sin. This is how, sins spread in the society!

So, if someone becomes aware of his brother's sins and realizes that nobody except him has seen him committing the sin, then he should keep the sin a secret. He should not encourage people towards sins by exposing his faults. Allah, the Exalted, has not only condemned committing sins in the Qur'aan but He has also condemned those people who mention sins in public. He said: "Verily, those who like that Fahishah should be circulated among those who believe, they will have a painful torment." [(24): 19] meaning, those who like to see evil talk about them (the believers) appear. [Tafseer Ibn Katheer]

Allah says in Soorah an-Nisa (4): 148, "Allah does not like that evil should be uttered in public except by him who has been wronged."

Ibn Abbas (radiyallahu anhu) commented on this verse, "Allah does not like that anyone should invoke Him against anyone else, unless one was wronged. In this case, Allah allows one to invoke Him against whoever wronged him…Yet, it is better for one if he observes patience." [Tafseer Ibn Katheer]
Today sins have become widespread in the society because we have forgotten the teachings of Allah's Messenger (salallahu alaihe wa-sallam), who discouraged people from revealing one's mistakes and sins as well as others. As a result, people have lost the fear of committing not only minor sins but even major sins - Moreover, we find people proudly attributing sins to themselves!!

Today, there are also many novel channels through which sins are propagated in the society; like such book, magazines and television programs that mention the crimes of others, illicit acts, and immorality under the name of creating awareness among the people. These programs which are meant to help the people against the crimes are in reality, helping the crime to spread fast in the society! Crimes, which were previously unknown to people have become common offense! It is therefore necessary for the Muslims to avoid all such avenues which may lead to the destruction of our Muslim Ummah.

Compiled by Shawana A Aziz

As-Sunnah Islamic Newsletter Issue no 16

References: Lecture by Allama Ehsan Ilahi Zaheer (rahimahullah), Qawaaid wa-Fawaaid min al-Arabeen an-Nawawi by Shaikh Nathim Sultan, Tafseer Ibn Katheer, and others
 

Mrmuslim

Smile you are @ TTI
Staff member
salaam alikom

Sister who is trying to know the past of her husband and saying he dosnt like to hear her past is a blessing from Allah s.w.t ... I really dont understand whats the point of knowing your past or knowing his past ? past is gone is done you cant change it, and just to be worried and so concerned about it is not Islamic.

Yes if both of you agree to discuss it for a REASON then its OK but just to know the past sins !??? come on ...


about discussing private life of husband or wife with thier friends here is some info.


Talking about that which is private between a husband and wife is one of the most abhorrent ways of disclosing secrets. No-one does such a thing but the worst type of people. There are some secrets the disclosure of which is not as bad as disclosing this secret, but in any case, telling secrets at all is disliked and is unacceptable. Keeping secrets in itself is a worthy and virtuous deed, whilst disclosing them is a serious error and shortcoming, from which nobody can be immune except the infallible Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). The disclosure of a secret that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) had entrusted to Hafsah, who told it to ‘A’ishah, led to the plotting and intrigue in his household that caused him to keep away from his wives for a whole month, because he was so upset with them.50 Concerning this, the following ayah was revealed:

( When the Prophet disclosed a matter of confidence to one of his consorts, and she then divulged it [to another], and Allah made it known to him, he confirmed part thereof and repudiated a part. Then when he told her thereof, she said, ‘Who told you this?’ He said, ‘He told me Who knows and is well-acquainted [with all things].) (Qur’an 66:3)

The two women concerned are then confronted with their error, and called to repent, so that they might draw closer to Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) after having distanced themselves by their deed, otherwise Allah would be his (the Prophet’s) Protector, and Jibril and the righteous believers would also support him:

( If you two turn in repentance to Him, your hearts are indeed so inclined; but if you back up each other against him, truly Allah is his Protector, and Gabriel, and [every] righteous one among those who believe - and furthermore, the angels - will back [him] up.) (Qur’an 66:4)

Then they are issued with a stern warning and the terrifying prospect that if they persist in their error, they may lose the honor of being the wives of the Prophet:

( It may be, if he divorced you [all], that Allah will give him in exchange Consorts better than you - who submit [their wills], who believe, who are devout, who turn to Allah in repentance, who worship [in humility], who travel [for Faith] and fast - previously married or virgins.) (Qur’an 66:5)

This incident presents a valuable lesson to the Muslim woman on the importance of keeping her husband’s secret, and the effect this confidentiality has on the stability of the individual and the home. One of the greatest blessings that Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) has bestowed on the Muslims in particular, and on mankind in general, is that he has made the public and private life of His Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) like an open book, in which can be read the teachings of this ‘aqidah and its practical application in real life. Nothing is secret or hidden: matters and events that people usually keep secret are discussed openly in the Qur’an and Sunnah, even unavoidable human weaknesses. All of these issues are presented in order to teach people right from wrong.
 
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