Looking for an honest response...

[dianek]

If you are a brother and your wife had a friend from her former life, a male, just a friend mind you, would you allow her to continue their friendship? If you are a sister, would you want to keep this old friendship? And if your husband were against it, would you continue anyway? I truly mean just a friendship....lets say a friendship of almost 17 years.

 

[TheKnowledgeSeeker]

If you are a brother and your wife had a friend from her former life, a male, just a friend mind you, would you allow her to continue their friendship? If you are a sister, would you want to keep this old friendship? And if your husband were against it, would you continue anyway? I truly mean just a friendship....lets say a friendship of almost 17 years.

Asslam

I am a sister so i guess in a way i would want to keep this friendship because it was long time friendship and at the same time i wouldn't because it is against islam to be close friends with the opposite sex. I don't know how to answer this because i am not i am marrry but i did have muslim brothers as my friends because i go to school and we both help each other which is a friendship i would drop when i don't go to school with them. I real don't know what to say but in way you are married so why would you need your male friends friendship when you have a life parnter and friend. I never thought about that so good question.

 

[dianek]

Asslam

I am a sister so i guess in a way i would want to keep this friendship because it was long time friendship and at the same time i wouldn't because it is against islam to be close friends with the opposite sex. I don't know how to answer this because i am not i am marrry but i did have muslim brothers as my friends because i go to school and we both help each other which is a friendship i would drop when i don't go to school with them. I real don't know what to say but in way you are married so why would you need your male friends friendship when you have a life parnter and friend. I never thought about that so good question.

Because he has always been my rock...knows me better than I know myself. And because he needs my friendship as trouble always finds him and he needs an ear to listen........we grew up together in the same town, same school, and share many wonderful stories together. He does not judge me....which my husband often does......he is not rigid....my husband can be. I asked this question as my husband is soon leaving to visit family abroad and my friend commented that he thought it would be nice if we can hang out a little rather just via email during this time....ergo....a movie or just visiting to talk. But I don't want to be "haraam" in doing so. I do know that my husband would hit the roof if I asked his permission.

 

[Saifu deen]

If you are a brother and your wife had a friend from her former life, a male, just a friend mind you, would you allow her to continue their friendship? If you are a sister, would you want to keep this old friendship? And if your husband were against it, would you continue anyway? I truly mean just a friendship....lets say a friendship of almost 17 years.

:salam2: sister

Firstofall, congrtulations for embracing islam, and alhamdullah that Allah (swt) guided you.

Muy humble opinion would be. to follow the Qur'an and Sunnah and avoid doors that may lead to fitnah.

I am not married, but I would honestly refrain from anything that would cause my marriage any harm specially if my wife wouldnt be happy if I continue with friendship that she may feel inappropriate.

But for me to continue this frienship, I would introduce her my wife first, and may be invite her and her husband for a dinner at home, that would look more respectful, specailly to my wife. I would call her husband and invite him and his wife (my friend) for a dinner at my house. But, if I feel any of my actions might lead to a negative result I would immediatly refrain from it.

But, I wouldnt go out with her as a friend for a dinner without my wife, and I wouldnt speak to her in the absence of my wife either so that my wife do not feel jealousy, or develop emotional problems that may ruin my marriage. In many cases, this would also lead to endless questions and suspicious.

I dont like if my wife had this type of friendship. Therefore, I wouldnt continue with this type of friendship if its against Qur'an and Sunnah, and if it is based on islamic behaviour and clean intentions I would follow the most appropriate manner without causing my wife any emotional harm. My wife would come first before any frienship, her emotional health comes first, and my marriage is above any friendship.

Wassalamu Alykom...

 

[dianek]

:salam2: sister

Firstofall, congrtulations for embracing islam, and alhamdullah that Allah (swt) guided you.

Muy humble opinion would be. to follow the Qur'an and Sunnah and avoid doors that may lead to fitnah.

I am not married, but I would honestly refrain from anything that would cause my marriage any harm specially if my wife wouldnt be happy if I continue with friendship that she may feel inappropriate.

But for me to continue this frienship, I would introduce her my wife first, and may be invite her and her husband for a dinner at home, that would look more respectful, specailly to my wife. I would call her husband and invite him and his wife (my friend) for a dinner at my house. But, if I feel any of my actions might lead to a negative result I would immediatly refrain from it.

But, I wouldnt go out with her as a friend for a dinner without my wife, and I wouldnt speak to her in the absence of my wife either so that my wife do not feel jealousy, or develop emotional problems that may ruin my marriage. In many cases, this would also lead to endless questions and suspicious.

I dont like if my wife had this type of friendship. Therefore, I wouldnt continue with this type of friendship if its against Qur'an and Sunnah, and if it is based on islamic behaviour and clean intentions I would follow the most appropriate manner without causing my wife any emotional harm. My wife would come first before any frienship, her emotional health comes first, and my marriage is above any friendship.

Wassalamu Alykom...

Asalam aleykum...

I understand your point and was genuinely looking for a male perspective on this. And might I say, you are a great brother, for putting your wife's emotional being ahead of your friendship. I wish that I could have him come to be friends with my husband and keep in touch that way but my husband would not have it.......it really saddens me his harshness. But I suppose the best I can do is discuss it with my husband and hear his feelings about such a friendship and then do what will keep my husband happy. Though losing this close friend will hurt terribly and it will not diminish my mind thinking of him and his situation in life....

 

[shaheeda35]

:salam2:
If you feel this friendship will cause fitnah(problems) then I would refrain from it. I know he is your friend, but so is your husband. Make your husband your best friend, and share your thoughts and feelings with him. I would leave him alone and save yourself from something that you might regret later. Not saying that this will happen and dont want to happen, but it is better to be safe than sorry. Allah knows best.

 

[Saifu deen]

Asalam aleykum...

But I suppose the best I can do is discuss it with my husband and hear his feelings about such a friendship and then do what will keep my husband happy. Though losing this close friend will hurt terribly and it will not diminish my mind thinking of him and his situation in life....

:salam2:

Baraka Allahu feeki. It is very nice, when the husband is pleased with his wife, because Allah (swt) would also be pleased with her, and thats a way that can lead the wife to enter Jannah inshallah.

Wassalamu Alykom..