How to handle this....

[dianek]

My oldest daughter's father just informed me that he may have 4 month old son and has to go for a DNA test. I know, how backwards......but, alas, how should I open this discussion and explain to our 11 year old if it turns out he is the father? Here I am trying to set an example for her, and her father is out having kids he doesn't even know about. I mean his business is his business, but in the end, this will effect her.......some advise please.

 

[Faisal_01]

I have a friend whose in that situation. Really he took it well. Because the brother that he has is his half brother and because since his dad had his half brother with a diffrent woman, he didn't really care much. They got along great.

Your daughter has the right to know. They are siblings. Though they might not related by completely the same blood, they still have a part of each other.

 

[dianek]

I have a friend whose in that situation. Really he took it well. Because the brother that he has is his half brother and because since his dad had his half brother with a diffrent woman, he didn't really care much. They got along great.

Your daughter has the right to know. They are siblings. Though they might not related by completely the same blood, they still have a part of each other.

Yeah, I know she has to know, my concern is what kind of an example her father has set for her and how to explain to her that her father was wrong..without insulting her father or her. I offered to babysit the child if it is his at night while he works.....the child is in foster care currently until paternity is determined. I agree he should be with his sister.

 

[Faisal_01]

Just explain to your daughter the importance of her new brother's life. Also go on to say that even though her father made a mistake, it doens't make him into a bad person. The last thing you want is your daughter hating her own father. I take it that she is Muslim also?

 

[dianek]

Just explain to your daughter the importance of her new brother's life. Also go on to say that even though her father made a mistake, it doens't make him into a bad person. The last thing you want is your daughter hating her own father. I take it that she is Muslim also?

OH NO, she isn't.........her father would roll over dead first! Seriously! He is Santaria Catholic...........but I don't want her to grow up thinking it is OK.....what he did......

 

[Faisal_01]

OH NO, she isn't.........her father would roll over dead first! Seriously! He is Santaria Catholic...........but I don't want her to grow up thinking it is OK.....what he did......

If you are there for her she wont have to

 

[Optimist]

Dear sister, I'd focus on making her believe in the one God (Allah) as this is the only thing that will serve her most.

When she become strong in faith, everything else will fall in place.

 

[arabiantxn]

i feel sorry for the guy.