UGH---help a sister out!

[dianek]

I am going to a company sponsored soiree this evening and was wondering.....I think I have asked before but am not sure......are drinks like O'Douls (supposedly non-alcoholic beers) ok to drink. I mean, being a newby to islam and not having told anyone, I thought I could pour one of those in a glass and "appear" to be like everyone else there......AND YES I KNOW.....maybe I shouldn't go but it is a wonderful sit down dinner and a fun band playing and my coworkers are such an entertaining group, I want to go. They have already passed out comp drinks tickets and I am giving mine to my best friend, female, who is standing in for my Husband as he is not in town. I have not told her yet either. Please do not ridicule me for being shy about my reversion, it is a big deal for my circle of friends and I have known them almost ALL my life. I just want to appear normal in their standards. So is it okay to drink those beverages or not?

 

[a_muslimah86]

I am going to a company sponsored soiree this evening and was wondering.....I think I have asked before but am not sure......are drinks like O'Douls (supposedly non-alcoholic beers) ok to drink. I mean, being a newby to islam and not having told anyone, I thought I could pour one of those in a glass and "appear" to be like everyone else there......AND YES I KNOW.....maybe I shouldn't go but it is a wonderful sit down dinner and a fun band playing and my coworkers are such an entertaining group, I want to go. They have already passed out comp drinks tickets and I am giving mine to my best friend, female, who is standing in for my Husband as he is not in town. I have not told her yet either. Please do not ridicule me for being shy about my reversion, it is a big deal for my circle of friends and I have known them almost ALL my life. I just want to appear normal in their standards. So is it okay to drink those beverages or not?

I can see where you're coming from with the whole being shy about your reversion and all..and it's justifiable without you even saying why so it's ok concerning *that*

but dearest..normally it is suggested to Muslims that..

if there is something that they're not sure if it's right or wrong..acceptable or unacceptable..halal or haram..that they *stay away* from it

now I'm not saying don't go (that is *your* decision)..I don't have the right to say that..but when it comes to the beer..I don't think you're *obligated* to pretened to be enjoying drinking that..or anything else for that matter

I mean what if you were a bit sick?..or had other drinks (halal ones of course)?..or you ate too much and can't put anything in your mouth anymore?..or they don't have your preferred drink and you don't like what they have?

would you still go and try to put food on a platter?..or grab a drink just to do what everyone else is doing?

all I can say is..

muslim or not...in general..you're *NOT* obligated to do anything of this nature to satisfy the people present

but as a muslimah..refer to what I said in the very beginning

and don't worry..it will be alright..I think you're just a bit paranoid..you feel like they're going to know right away that something is up..you'll be ok sister!

I don't know if I even made sense in what I wrote..hehe
but Inshallah I helped out a bit

 

[dianek]

"and don't worry..it will be alright..I think you're just a bit paranoid..you feel like they're going to know right away that something is up..you'll be ok sister!"

THAT IS IT EXACTLY.....my friends know me and in the past when my husband has left the country I have tried to get a years worth of drinking in to make of lost time...........I was the good time queen.....so this will be different. They are going to think one of 2 things........I'M PREGNANT, which would disastrous for them to think seeing as I have 4 kids already! OR IMED FINALLY GOT HIS WAY AND CONVERTED ME.....which neither is the case but I don't want to have to justify it.

SO......I am proclaiming myself Designated Driver!!!!!!!!!!

 

[a_muslimah86]

"and don't worry..it will be alright..I think you're just a bit paranoid..you feel like they're going to know right away that something is up..you'll be ok sister!"

THAT IS IT EXACTLY.....my friends know me and in the past when my husband has left the country I have tried to get a years worth of drinking in to make of lost time...........I was the good time queen.....so this will be different. They are going to think one of 2 things........I'M PREGNANT, which would disastrous for them to think seeing as I have 4 kids already! OR IMED FINALLY GOT HIS WAY AND CONVERTED ME.....which neither is the case but I don't want to have to justify it.

SO......I am proclaiming myself Designated Driver!!!!!!!!!!

I see

well at least you won't be making up a lie..or denying your reversion..or starting some kind of conversation about your personal life...

you'll just drive people safely to their homes..so you'll be doing something good actually

wa alaikum assalam

 

[gangstaat]

I can see where you're coming from with the whole being shy about your reversion and all..and it's justifiable without you even saying why so it's ok concerning *that*

but dearest..normally it is suggested to Muslims that..

if there is something that they're not sure if it's right or wrong..acceptable or unacceptable..halal or haram..that they *stay away* from it

now I'm not saying don't go (that is *your* decision)..I don't have the right to say that..but when it comes to the beer..I don't think you're *obligated* to pretened to be enjoying drinking that..or anything else for that matter

I mean what if you were a bit sick?..or had other drinks (halal ones of course)?..or you ate too much and can't put anything in your mouth anymore?..or they don't have your preferred drink and you don't like what they have?

would you still go and try to put food on a platter?..or grab a drink just to do what everyone else is doing?

all I can say is..

muslim or not...in general..you're *NOT* obligated to do anything of this nature to satisfy the people present

but as a muslimah..refer to what I said in the very beginning

and don't worry..it will be alright..I think you're just a bit paranoid..you feel like they're going to know right away that something is up..you'll be ok sister!

I don't know if I even made sense in what I wrote..hehe
but Inshallah I helped out a bit

very well said!

 

[Munawar]

:salam2:
If this is a non-alcoholic drink, then you can drink it.

But just remember that Allah knows what is in your heart. The best thing is not to participate in such events in which haram things are going on. Think of it like this:
Suppose a number of men are raping a number of women in a room. A guy who thinks raping is bad is not raping but acting as if he is also raping, because it looks cool in that environment. Now when the police will come he will be picked up too. Later, even after he was found to be not involved in raping, what the judge will think of him or what the good people who live around him will think of him ?

I know ... I know... this is an extreme example, I am sorry... But think about it. Allah will be seeing you and others who will be drinking real alcohol and disobaying Him openly, and right in their middle you will be immitating them as if this is cool. And Allah will be seeing that too.
I think you get my point.

But you know Allah is very forgiving and extremely merciful, He knows your situation and what is in your heart. So I say if you have to go then after you come back pray some extra Nawafil and ask for his forgiveness. And in the future avoid these events.

 

[isabelelsherif]

its funny you should post this because i was going thru something similar i have a company party to go to next friday and no one knows i am converting to islam either. I plan on telling them i am not in the mood to drink because i have to go back home (the party is in manhattan and i live in queens), but the dress i plan on wearing is definetely not me its high neck long sleeve and i am wearing tights so no skin will be showing, i plan on telling everyone when the time is right but it is not right yet

hope everything goes well tonight please post and let us all know

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

Many people will not agree with what I say. A person's spritual growth is a very personal journey. We all have had moments when we have done dumb things that are haraam. I know I have and Insha'Allah I will be wiser in the furture.
What happens is when you go to a party you will see people from a different perspective. I know because you trust us so much. Do not be surprised if you will think about us and our reactions to the going-ons at the event. You are now in the process of separting from the duyna and wanting to spend time with us.
Why not drink soda water with a twist of lime or a fruit cocktail with the pretty umbrella's and slices of fruit.
Enjoy yourself..it is a personal journey...what will happen is you will not desire this type of event any more...you will want to spend time with your Muslim sisters...but let us know...

 

[TheHumbleWun]

Salaam,

Many people will not agree with what I say. A person's spritual growth is a very personal journey. We all have had moments when we have done dumb things that are haraam. I know I have and Insha'Allah I will be wiser in the furture.
What happens is when you go to a party you will see people from a different perspective. I know because you trust us so much. Do not be surprised if you will think about us and our reactions to the going-ons at the event. You are now in the process of separting from the duyna and wanting to spend time with us.
Why not drink soda water with a twist of lime or a fruit cocktail with the pretty umbrella's and slices of fruit.
Enjoy yourself..it is a personal journey...what will happen is you will not desire this type of event any more...you will want to spend time with your Muslim sisters...but let us know...

Salaamalikum,

I agree with you...people don't change over night...transition takes time from growing and learning.

Also, sister Dianek I think it was a bad idea to give your drink ticket to your friend, because when you logically think about it, it's like you're buying alcohol for her. I would of just ripped the ticket and wouldn't let her know.

 

[Mabsoot]

Well.. be glad its not a FANCY DRESS party as well.

Sister Dianek, try to do as much as you can in light of Islam, alhamdulillah that you avoid alcohol and you should not offer anyone drink or give them the ticket.

Just do your best to be strong It is a big shift. But, you will manage inshaAllah.

If you can leave as early as possible it is good, just make some excuses - dont have to be lies!! and leave.

Also, some of these "non-alcoholic" beverages contain small percentage of alcohol, so you must be careful. Perhaps read what it says on the can. Certainly, it is haram to drink alcohol and we must fear Allah and never people. This is like your personal Jihad. Allah help you.

 

[dianne]

Salaam,

Many people will not agree with what I say. A person's spritual growth is a very personal journey. We all have had moments when we have done dumb things that are haraam. I know I have and Insha'Allah I will be wiser in the furture.
What happens is when you go to a party you will see people from a different perspective. I know because you trust us so much. Do not be surprised if you will think about us and our reactions to the going-ons at the event. You are now in the process of separting from the duyna and wanting to spend time with us.
Why not drink soda water with a twist of lime or a fruit cocktail with the pretty umbrella's and slices of fruit.
Enjoy yourself..it is a personal journey...what will happen is you will not desire this type of event any more...you will want to spend time with your Muslim sisters...but let us know...

Salam,
I agree with u sister,this is a jihad life for ourself.If can avoid this kinda place like party- stay at home listen to surah2 al quran,learning arabic etc.

wassalam