NEED HELP

helpinghumanity

helpinghumanity

Junior Member
SALAM

I received a message from a Muslim brother who currently study at CITY COLLEGE asking me my opinion or advice on a certain issue. The question posed was a little different from the current articles. However before giving my opinion, i thought it will be good to ask from TTI family. I don't know whether the moderators will allow it or not however i am giving it a shot

Here is the body of an email (i haven't included some information like name etc)


"i know a brother, who has a very hard time controlling himself when no one is at home. He is taken by evil sexual thoughts :astag: and loses self-control which leads him to watch *!*!*!*!ography online eventually leading to masturbation. This brother really wants to stop this act and feels really bad after committing it. Please state your opinion about this that would help him stop this evil act. Thank you"



I preserved my opinion because i know i can get better onions from TTI family...

(moderators if these types of questions are against the rules plz let me know..so that in future i don't pose such type of question ...thxs)
 
saffanah

saffanah

speak good or silent
Assalamu'alaikum
I've got an explanation from islam-q&a and also it's solution for this Muslim brother.
May it help.
*******************

Masturbation (for both men and women) is haraam (forbidden) in Islam based on the following evidence:

First from the Qur’aan:

Imam Shafi’i stated that masturbation is forbidden based on the following verses from the Qur’aan (interpretation of the meaning):

"And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts). Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, - for them, they are free from blame. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors." 23.5-7 Here the verses are clear in forbidding all illegal sexual acts (including masturbation) except for the wives or that their right hand possess. And whoever seeks beyond that is the transgressor.

"And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah enriches them of His bounty." 24.33. This verse also clearly orders whoever does not have the financial means to marry to keep himself chaste and be patient in facing temptations (including masturbation) until Allah enriches them of His bounty.

Secondly, from the sunnah of the Prophet (peace be upon him):

Abdullaah ibn Mas’ood said, "We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. So Allaah’s Messenger said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." Bukhari:5066. The hadeeth orders men who are not able to marry to fast despite the hardship encountered in doing so, and not to masturbate despite the ease with which it can be done.

There are additional evidences that can be cited to support this ruling on masturbation, but due to the limited space we will not go through them here. Allaah knows what is best and most correct.

As for curing the habit of masturbation, we recommend the following suggestions:

1) The motive to seek a cure for this problem should be solely following Allaah’s orders and fearing His punishment.

2) A permanent and quick cure from this problem lies in marriage as soon as the person is able, as shown in the Prophet’s hadeeth.

3) Keeping oneself busy with what is good for this world and the hereafter is essential in breaking this habit before it becomes second nature after which it is very difficult to rid oneself of it.

4) Lowering the gaze (from looking at forbidden things such as pictures, movies etc.) will help suppress the desire before it leads one to commit the haraam (forbidden). Allaah orders men and women to lower their gaze as shown in the following two verses and in the Prophet’s hadeeth (interpretations of the meanings):

"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is all-aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) ..... " 24.30-31

Allaah’s messenger said: "Do not follow a casual (unintentional) look (at forbidden things) with another look." Al-Tirmidhi 2777. This is a general instruction by the Prophet to abstain from all that may sexually excite a person because it might lead him/her to commit the haraam (forbidden).

5) Using one’s available leisure time in worshipping Allaah and increasing religious knowledge.

6) Being cautious not to develop any of the medical symptoms that may result from masturbation such as weak eyesight, weak nervous system, and/or back pain. More importantly, feeling of guilt and anxiety that can be complicated by missing obligatory prayers because of the need to shower (ghusl) after every incidence of masturbation.

7) Avoiding the illusion that some youth have that masturbation is permissible because it prevents them from committing illegal sexual acts such as fornication or even homosexuality.

8) Strengthening one’s willpower and avoiding spending time alone as recommended by the Prophet when he said "Do not spend the night alone" Ahmad 6919.

9) Following the Prophet’s aforementioned hadeeth and fast when possible, because fasting will temper one’s sexual desire and keep it under control. However, one should not overreact and swear by Allaah not to return to the act because if one does not honor one’s promise, one would be facing the consequences of not living up to one’s oath to Allaah. Also, note that medication to diminish one’s sexual desire is strictly prohibited because it might permanently affect one’s sexual ability.

10) Trying to follow the Prophet’s recommendation concerning the etiquette of getting ready for bed, such as reading well-known supplications, sleeping on the right side, and avoiding sleeping on the belly (the Prophet forbade sleeping on the belly).

11) Striving hard to be patient and chaste, because persistence will eventually, Allaah willing, lead to attaining those qualities as second nature, as the Prophet explains in the following hadeeth:
"Whoever seeks chastity Allaah will make him chaste, and whoever seeks help from none but Allaah, He will help him, and whoever is patient He will make it easy for him, and no one has ever been given anything better than patience." Bukhari:1469.

12) Repenting, asking forgiveness from Allaah, doing good deeds, and not losing hope and feeling despair are all prerequisites to curing this problem. Note that losing hope is one of the major sins punishable by Allaah.

13) Finally, Allaah is the Most Merciful and He always responds to whoever calls on Him. So, asking for Allah’s forgiveness will be accepted, by His will.

Wallahu a’lam. And Allah knows what is best and most correct.

Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/329/masturbation
 
amirah80

amirah80

*Fear Allah*
:salam2:

Fatwa 42165 IQA

How can I advise someone who is addicted to *!*!*!*!ography?
I have a friend who uses the internet and goes to *!*!*!*!ographic websites. What is the shar’i ruling on that, and how can I help him to keep away from such things?.

Praise be to Allaah.

It is not permissible to look at *!*!*!*!ographic pictures that show the charms of women, either on internet web sites or in newspapers or magazines etc. That is because looking at them is a means of enjoying them and knowing the beauty of the woman in the picture.

This may also be a means that leads to something haraam, so it is also regarded as haraam, because the means come under the same rulings as the ends.

Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 2424.

Many people take the matter of looking at pictures of non-mahram women lightly, on the grounds that these are just pictures and are not real. But this is a very serious matter, because it inevitably tempts a man to try to look at the woman directly. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them”

[al-Noor 24:30]

Majmoo’ Fataawa wa Rasaa’il Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 1/268
You can help your friend to keep away from these things by always advising him and making him fear Allaah, and reminding him that Allaah is always watching him and that nothing is hidden from Him. And remind him of the blessings that Allaah has bestowed upon him, such as giving him eyes with which to see things that will benefit him, and He has forbidden him to use them to look at things that He has forbidden. Remind him that Allaah will question him about that, hence Allaah concludes the verse referred to above with the words (interpretation of the meaning):

“Verily, Allaah is All-Aware of what they do”

[al-Noor 24:30]

And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Verily, the hearing, and the sight, and the heart of each of those ones will be questioned (by Allaah)”

[al-Isra’ 17:36]

If a wise man thinks about it, when he is looking at these haraam pictures, he will realize that there is nothing behind these glances but loss, pain and sorrow, because he cannot really get what he sees in these pictures.

The poet spoke the truth when he said:

“When you give free rein to your eyes, this will cause great pain to your heart.

You will see what you cannot have, and you will feel frustration because you do not have some of what you see.”

So it is clear that there is nothing to be gained from these pictures except the wrath of Allaah, and wasting time and money on things that are not pleasing to Him, and tormenting yourself.

The Muslim has to seek chastity by means of marriage, and try his best to achieve that.

He should also give up bad company who may have a bad effect on him and encourage him to go to these bad web sites.

He should also keep himself busy with things that will benefit him in both religious and worldly terms, such as memorizing the Book of Allaah, attending gatherings of dhikr, and going to useful websites that contain sound knowledge.


Islam Q&A
 
a_brother

a_brother

Make dua for us all
helpinghumanity said:
SALAM


"i know a brother, who has a very hard time controlling himself when no one is at home. He is taken by evil sexual thoughts :astag: and loses self-control which leads him to watch *!*!*!*!ography online eventually leading to masturbation. This brother really wants to stop this act and feels really bad after committing it. Please state your opinion about this that would help him stop this evil act. Thank you"
Click to expand...

:salam2:

the problem comes out when no one is at home... i would guess that he should try not to be alone... filling his time with good things should leave no time for the bad things and at the same time will benefit from the good things that he does...Also, choosing good friends to hang around with and that have good character and good halal routine ... there is no short cut, one would just have to refrain from those things... usually the environment is the big issue... May Allah help him and all the muslims...
 
helpinghumanity

helpinghumanity

Junior Member
salam

I would like to thank all brothers and sister who helped me in gathering advisees.
The information which was provided in these replies was very beneficial. I personally learned a lot from the above information.

I give the URL that brother directly. I think he read all of that. Luckily I met that brother two days ago and he informed me that he was able to control himself whenever Those vulgur thoughts aroused in him. SUBHANALLAH

Once again I would like to thank all those brothers and sisters who helped that brother through me. Allah will reward you for that.

SUGGESTION

while the computer is is very useful but still it can lead us to misguiding's. Therefore I would like to advise brothers and sisters to put PARENTAL CONTROL SOFTWARE so that children's would be stopped from using those websites.
 
a_brother

a_brother

Make dua for us all
helpinghumanity said:
salam

I would like to thank all brothers and sister who helped me in gathering advisees.
The information which was provided in these replies was very beneficial. I personally learned a lot from the above information.

I give the URL that brother directly. I think he read all of that. Luckily I met that brother two days ago and he informed me that he was able to control himself whenever Those vulgur thoughts aroused in him. SUBHANALLAH

Once again I would like to thank all those brothers and sisters who helped that brother through me. Allah will reward you for that.

SUGGESTION

while the computer is is very useful but still it can lead us to misguiding's. Therefore I would like to advise brothers and sisters to put PARENTAL CONTROL SOFTWARE so that children's would be stopped from using those websites.
Click to expand...

:salam2:

nice idea brother... for those who would like to use Parental control in their computer, you can check this website for downloads... try to use one that has higher ratings
http://www.download.com/1770-2001_4-0.html?searchtype=downloads&query=PARENTAL CONTROL

:wasalam:
 
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