smile :)

a_brother

Make dua for us all
:salam2:


College Grad's Starting Salary


Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young engineer who was fresh out of MIT, "What starting salary were you thinking about?" The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?" The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."



:lol: :lol: :lol:


--------------------------------------

Being Polite

One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.

Tom wasn't happy about that: "When are you going to learn to be polite?"

Bill: "If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?"

Tom: "The smaller piece, of course."

Bill: "What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?"


------------------------------

Trying to be Impressive


A young lawyer, starting up his private practice, was very anxious to impress potential clients. When he saw the first visitor to his office come through the door, he immediately picked up his phone and spoke into it," I'm sorry, but my caseload is so tremendous that I'm not going to be able to look into your problem for at least a month. I'll have to get back to you then." He then turned to the man who had just walked in, and said, "Now, what can I do for you?"

"Nothing," replied the man. "I'm here to hook up your phone."
 

a_brother

Make dua for us all
The Homework Schedule


Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes.

15 minutes looking for assignment.

11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment.

23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children.

8 minutes in the bathroom.

10 minutes getting a snack.

7 minutes checking the TV Guide.

6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment.

10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.


http://youth.ibn.net/humor.asp?pgn=2
 

a_brother

Make dua for us all
:salam2:

funny-pictures-raccoons-are-here-to-help-you.jpg
 

Abdul Hasib

Student of Knowledge
LoL this is becoming like the Official jokes thread, LoL!

So what, that was the old 2007 jokes thread, and now this one is going to be the 2008 jokes thread?





































_______________________________________
 

a_brother

Make dua for us all
LoL this is becoming like the Official jokes thread, LoL!

So what, that was the old 2007 jokes thread, and now this one is going to be the 2008 jokes thread?

:salam2:

LOL... No, this is 2009 edition about to come out... :lol: So, let's prepare it... :D
 

Abdul Hasib

Student of Knowledge
Brother, the other jokes thread came out during the time of Winter 2007, and this one is coming to the brink of the late 2008 Winter, and yeah like what you said, 2009.

Sigh, I remember those days of 2007, but you have to learn to leave the past and look towards the future, for a happier and hopefull living.
 

a_brother

Make dua for us all
Brother, the other jokes thread came out during the time of Winter 2007, and this one is coming to the brink of the late 2008 Winter, and yeah like what you said, 2009.

Sigh, I remember those days of 2007, but you have to learn to leave the past and look towards the future, for a happier and hopefull living.

:lol:

Where did the Official Jokes Thread go? Somebody please find it.

Brother hussain.mahammed :)... you couldn't move on and "look towards the future" like brother Abdul Hasib did ...lol... :p .... jk

i didn't know that there was an "official Jokes thread" !!!???:SMILY153:

the main point out of this thread is clearing a misconception and the reminder of smiling :)... hopefully, when one, muslim or non-muslim, opens this thread, he/she would recognize one of our beloved prophet's characteristics, humor!. Therefore, may clear one of the misconceptions that some have, which is one of the goals of this site, TTI. SOooo, please share if you have anything funny ;) ... InshaAllah, you'll get ajr/good deed for making your brother/sister smile and clearing one of the misconceptions about our beloved Mohammed (SAW) :)

Wasalamo Alaikom
 

Storm

SiStEr
1) Two men were on a plane on a business trip when a Muslim couple boarded the plane and were seated right in front of them. The two men, eager to have some fun, started talking loudly. "My boss is sending me to Saudi Arabia", the one said, "But I don't want to go...too many Muslims there!" The Muslim couple noticeably heard and grew uncomfortable. The other guy laughed, "Oh, yeah, my boss wanted to send me to Pakistan but I refused...WAY too many Muslims!" Smiling, the first man said, "One time I was in Iran but I HATED the fact that there were so many Muslims!" The couple fidgeted. The other guy responded, "Oh, yeah...you can't go ANYWHERE to get away from them...the last time I was in FRANCE I ran into a bunch of them too!" The first guy was laughing hysterically as he added, "That is why you'll never see me in Indonesia...WAY too many Muslims!" At this, the Muslim man turned around and responded politely, "Why don't you go to Hell?", he asked, "I hear there's not many Muslims THERE!" :D

2) An elderly lady was well-known for her Iman and for her confidence in talking about it. She would stand in front of her house and say Alhamdulilah "Allah be praised" to all those who passed by. Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, "There ain't no Lord!!" Hard times came upon the elderly lady, and she prayed for Allah to send her some assistance. She would pray out loud in her night prayer" Oh Allah! I need food!! I am having a hard time, please Lord, PLEASE LORD, SEND ME SOME GROCERIES!!" The atheist happened to hear her as she was praying, and decided to play a prank on her. The next morning the lady went out on her porch and noted a large bag of groceries and shouted, "Alhamdulilah, Allah be praised!." The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, "Aha! I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries, God didn't." The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and said, "ALHAMDULILAH WA SHUKRILLAH”. He not only sent me groceries, but he made the devil pay for them!"
 

a_brother

Make dua for us all
:salam2:


No more lipstick on the mirror


According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington DC was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.

That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night the Maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.

Several memos were posted about this, without effect. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man.

She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls just how hard it was.

Under careful instructions, the man took out a long handled squeegee, solemnly dipped it in the nearest toilet bowl, and scrubbed at the mirror.

There was complete silence in the room.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are Teachers ....and then there are Educators.


:lol: :lol:


-----------------------------------------------------
Tough Time


"I've just had the most awful time," said a boy to his friends. "First I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering, I got psoriasis. They gave me hypodermics, and to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy."

"Wow! How did you pull through?" sympathized his friends.

"I don't know," the boy replied. "Toughest spelling test I ever had."


----------------------------------------------------------

Girl who was punished


A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."

The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?"

The little girl replied, "My homework."



-------------------------------------------------------

Don't Bribe the Judge


Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe." Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. "You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000."

The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Leon ... "Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we're going to decide this case solely on its merits."



:lol:
 
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