friends with opposite gender

[autumn]

salam

is it ok in islam to be just friend with the opposite genders? i want to know, is it just forbidden in culture, is it just culture or islam? these days people are not taking it seriously, its just becomes whatever to them, like we'r just friends. tell me, is it haram in islam? i feel it is.

 

[hassana elkoussi]

From ISLAM Q&A

Praise be to Allaah.

The meeting together, mixing, and intermingling of men and women in one place, the crowding of them together, and the revealing and exposure of women to men are prohibited by the Law of Islam (Shari'ah). These acts are prohibited because they are among the causes for fitnah (temptation or trial which implies evil consequences), the arousing of desires, and the committing of indecency and wrongdoing.

Among the many proofs of prohibition of the meeting and mixing of men and women in the Qur’aan and Sunnah are:

Verse No. 53 of Surat al-Ahzab, or the Confederates (Interpretation of the meaning); "...for anything ye want, ask them from before a screen: that makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs..."

In explaining this Verse, Ibn Kathir (May Allaah have mercy on him) said: "Meaning, as I forbade you to enter their rooms, I forbid you to look at them at all. If one wants to take something from a woman, one should do so without looking at her. If one wants to ask a woman for something, the same has to be done from behind a screen."

The Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) enforced separation of men and women even at Allaah’s most revered and preferred place, the mosque. This was accomplished via the separation of the women’s rows from the men’s; men were asked to stay in the mosque after completion of the obligatory prayer so that women will have enough time to leave the mosque; and, a special door was assigned to women. Evidence of the foregoing are:

Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) said that after Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) said "as-Salamu ‘Alaykum wa Rahmatullah’ twice announcing the end of prayer, women would stand up and leave. He would stay for a while before leaving. Ibn Shihab said that he thought that the staying of the Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) was in order for the women to be able to leave before the men who wanted to depart." Narrated by al-Bukhari under No. 793.

Abu Dawood under No. 876 narrates the same hadith in Kitab al-Salaat under the title "Insiraaf an-Nisaa’ Qabl al-Rijaal min al-Salaah" (Departure of Women before Men after the Prayer). Ibn ‘Umar said that Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) said: "We should leave this door (of the mosque) for women." Naafi’ said: "Ibn ‘Umar never again entered through that door until he died." Narrated by Abu Dawood under No. 484 in "Kitab as-Salah" under the Chapter entitled: "at-Tashdid fi Thalik".

Abu Hurayrah said that the Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) said: ""The best of the men’s rows is the first and the worst is the last, and the best of the women’s rows is the last and the worst in the first." Narrated by Muslim under No. 664.

This is the greatest evidence that the Law of Islam (Shari'ah) forbids meeting and mixing of men and women. The farther the men are from the women’s rows, the better, and vice versa.

If these procedures and precautions were prescribed and adhered to in a mosque, which is a pure place of worship where people are as far away as they ever are from the arousal of desire and temptation, then no doubt the same procedures need to be followed even more rigorously at other places.

Abu Usayd al-Ansari narrated that he heard Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) say to the women on his way out of the mosque when he saw men and women mixing together on their way home
‘Give way (i.e., walk to the sides) as it is not appropriate for you to walk in the middle the road.’ Thereafter, women would walk so close to the wall that their dresses would get caught on it. Narrated by Abu Dawood in "Kitab al-Adab min Sunanihi, Chapter: Mashyu an-Nisa Ma’ ar-Rijal fi at-Tariq."We know that the intermingling, mixing and crowding together of men and women is part of today’s unavoidable yet regrettable affliction in most places, such as markets, hospitals, colleges, etc., but:

· We will not willfully choose or accept mixing and crowding, particularly in religious classes and council meetings in Islamic Centers.

· We take precautions to avoid meeting and mixing of men and women as much as possible while at the same time achieving desired goals and objectives. This result can be achieved by designating separate places assigned for men and women, using different doors for each, utilizing modern means of communication such as microphones, video recorders etc., and expediting efforts to have enough female teachers to teach women, etc.·

We show fear of Allaah as much as we can by not looking at members of the opposite sex and by applying self-restraint.

Islam Q&A


HOPE THIS HELPS :salam2:

 

[xSharingan01x]

From ISLAM Q&A

Praise be to Allaah.

The meeting together, mixing, and intermingling of men and women in one place, the crowding of them together, and the revealing and exposure of women to men are prohibited by the Law of Islam (Shari'ah). These acts are prohibited because they are among the causes for fitnah (temptation or trial which implies evil consequences), the arousing of desires, and the committing of indecency and wrongdoing.

Among the many proofs of prohibition of the meeting and mixing of men and women in the Qur’aan and Sunnah are:

Verse No. 53 of Surat al-Ahzab, or the Confederates (Interpretation of the meaning); "...for anything ye want, ask them from before a screen: that makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs..."

In explaining this Verse, Ibn Kathir (May Allaah have mercy on him) said: "Meaning, as I forbade you to enter their rooms, I forbid you to look at them at all. If one wants to take something from a woman, one should do so without looking at her. If one wants to ask a woman for something, the same has to be done from behind a screen."

The Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) enforced separation of men and women even at Allaah’s most revered and preferred place, the mosque. This was accomplished via the separation of the women’s rows from the men’s; men were asked to stay in the mosque after completion of the obligatory prayer so that women will have enough time to leave the mosque; and, a special door was assigned to women. Evidence of the foregoing are:

Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) said that after Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) said "as-Salamu ‘Alaykum wa Rahmatullah’ twice announcing the end of prayer, women would stand up and leave. He would stay for a while before leaving. Ibn Shihab said that he thought that the staying of the Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) was in order for the women to be able to leave before the men who wanted to depart." Narrated by al-Bukhari under No. 793.

Abu Dawood under No. 876 narrates the same hadith in Kitab al-Salaat under the title "Insiraaf an-Nisaa’ Qabl al-Rijaal min al-Salaah" (Departure of Women before Men after the Prayer). Ibn ‘Umar said that Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) said: "We should leave this door (of the mosque) for women." Naafi’ said: "Ibn ‘Umar never again entered through that door until he died." Narrated by Abu Dawood under No. 484 in "Kitab as-Salah" under the Chapter entitled: "at-Tashdid fi Thalik".

Abu Hurayrah said that the Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) said: ""The best of the men’s rows is the first and the worst is the last, and the best of the women’s rows is the last and the worst in the first." Narrated by Muslim under No. 664.

This is the greatest evidence that the Law of Islam (Shari'ah) forbids meeting and mixing of men and women. The farther the men are from the women’s rows, the better, and vice versa.

If these procedures and precautions were prescribed and adhered to in a mosque, which is a pure place of worship where people are as far away as they ever are from the arousal of desire and temptation, then no doubt the same procedures need to be followed even more rigorously at other places.

Abu Usayd al-Ansari narrated that he heard Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) say to the women on his way out of the mosque when he saw men and women mixing together on their way home
‘Give way (i.e., walk to the sides) as it is not appropriate for you to walk in the middle the road.’ Thereafter, women would walk so close to the wall that their dresses would get caught on it. Narrated by Abu Dawood in "Kitab al-Adab min Sunanihi, Chapter: Mashyu an-Nisa Ma’ ar-Rijal fi at-Tariq."We know that the intermingling, mixing and crowding together of men and women is part of today’s unavoidable yet regrettable affliction in most places, such as markets, hospitals, colleges, etc., but:

· We will not willfully choose or accept mixing and crowding, particularly in religious classes and council meetings in Islamic Centers.

· We take precautions to avoid meeting and mixing of men and women as much as possible while at the same time achieving desired goals and objectives. This result can be achieved by designating separate places assigned for men and women, using different doors for each, utilizing modern means of communication such as microphones, video recorders etc., and expediting efforts to have enough female teachers to teach women, etc.·

We show fear of Allaah as much as we can by not looking at members of the opposite sex and by applying self-restraint.

Islam Q&A


HOPE THIS HELPS :salam2:

:salam2:
I've very confused now.
So does the 'screeing' in the fatwa refer to let's say Hijab or a physical partition of a room with the aid of a cloth or something? If so do we have any evidence that Masjid An Nabawi had a partition through a cloth? I see many Masjids nowadays that divide the women and men section by placing a cover. Not sure if that's the sunnah or just convenience.

Even after reading the fatwa I'm confused. If there is no intermingling then how are women supposed to do business or even work? Those things require at least the minimum amount of interaction between opposite sex.
We know from seerah and hadeeth that women did do business (example, the Muslim lady who went to the Jewish market to sell her jewlery), and many women came to the Prophet Salel la elahi wasalam to ask questions. Did the Prophet Salel la elahi wasalam speak to them behind a screen or the women having a Hijab is satisfactory?

I'm not talking about intermingling in the sense of joking and laughing and doing unnecessary things. There must be some form of interaction, i just think it is impossible not to have some type of interaction as a necessity.
If such interaction weren't allowed, then how did the Muslim women help in the army? Some of them even fighting and serving as nurses and such? Surely, the Prophet salel la elahi wasalam would have forbade such things.

Also the verse the Sheikh quotes, as far as my understanding goes I thought the verse is referring to the Prophet Sallel la elahi Waslam's wives? It seems though Allah is telling people to speak to the Prophet Sallel la elahi Waslam's wives from behind the screen, so does this apply to all other women as well?
"O ye who believe! Enter not the Prophet's houses,- until leave is given you,- for a meal, (and then) not (so early as) to wait for its preparation: but when ye are invited, enter; and when ye have taken your meal, disperse, without seeking familiar talk. Such (behaviour) annoys the Prophet: he is ashamed to dismiss you, but Allah is not ashamed (to tell you) the truth. And when ye ask (his ladies) for anything ye want, ask them from before a screen: that makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs. Nor is it right for you that ye should annoy Allah's Messenger, or that ye should marry his widows after him at any time. Truly such a thing is in Allah's sight an enormity. "
Surah Azhab Verse 53




I personally think the women of the Prophet's time were more liberal than the conservative women today and more conservative than the liberal Muslim women today.
I don't see any wrong in just observing the Hijab and staying away from unnecessary intermingling (laughing, joking,i dle talks, flirting, meeting strangers, etc etc).. while having interaction that is necessary.
Just my two cents.


Maybe I'm just confusing myself. *sighs*

 

[hassana elkoussi]

:salam2:
I've very confused now.
So does the 'screeing' in the fatwa refer to let's say Hijab or a physical partition of a room with the aid of a cloth or something? If so do we have any evidence that Masjid An Nabawi had a partition through a cloth? I see many Masjids nowadays that divide the women and men section by placing a cover. Not sure if that's the sunnah or just convenience.

Even after reading the fatwa I'm confused. If there is no intermingling then how are women supposed to do business or even work? Those things require at least the minimum amount of interaction between opposite sex.
We know from seerah and hadeeth that women did do business (example, the Muslim lady who went to the Jewish market to sell her jewlery), and many women came to the Prophet Salel la elahi wasalam to ask questions. Did the Prophet Salel la elahi wasalam speak to them behind a screen or the women having a Hijab is satisfactory?

I'm not talking about intermingling in the sense of joking and laughing and doing unnecessary things. There must be some form of interaction, i just think it is impossible not to have some type of interaction as a necessity.
If such interaction weren't allowed, then how did the Muslim women help in the army? Some of them even fighting and serving as nurses and such? Surely, the Prophet salel la elahi wasalam would have forbade such things.

Also the verse the Sheikh quotes, as far as my understanding goes I thought the verse is referring to the Prophet Sallel la elahi Waslam's wives? It seems though Allah is telling people to speak to the Prophet Sallel la elahi Waslam's wives from behind the screen, so does this apply to all other women as well?
"O ye who believe! Enter not the Prophet's houses,- until leave is given you,- for a meal, (and then) not (so early as) to wait for its preparation: but when ye are invited, enter; and when ye have taken your meal, disperse, without seeking familiar talk. Such (behaviour) annoys the Prophet: he is ashamed to dismiss you, but Allah is not ashamed (to tell you) the truth. And when ye ask (his ladies) for anything ye want, ask them from before a screen: that makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs. Nor is it right for you that ye should annoy Allah's Messenger, or that ye should marry his widows after him at any time. Truly such a thing is in Allah's sight an enormity. "
Surah Azhab Verse 53




I personally think the women of the Prophet's time were more liberal than the conservative women today and more conservative than the liberal Muslim women today.
I don't see any wrong in just observing the Hijab and staying away from unnecessary intermingling (laughing, joking,i dle talks, flirting, meeting strangers, etc etc).. while having interaction that is necessary.
Just my two cents.


Maybe I'm just confusing myself. *sighs*

:salam2:

i don't think you should be confused.I don't think hijab is the screen meant in the ayah, as we sometimes see girls in hijab being very intimate with boys, or even dating. The act of mixing itself opens up " doors of fitnah", especially for those who are not really pious or observing " taqwa" or for those who are weak with regards to the opposite sex. If u go back to Surat Al Qassas, you'll find the daughters of Shu'aib (PBUH) explaining to Moses why they were out to provide water for their cattle , saying ," Our father is an old man". And even though they had this excuse, they had to wait and stand aside till the men were gone.You can also notice here adaab ( rules/etiquette ) of a conversation between people of different sexes : to the point , showing respect on both sides, no joking, flirting, just saying the necessary words without which there would be no conversation.

However, some societies do not observe these rules of not mixing sexes. When Shaikh Sha'rawi ( May Allah have mercy on him) was asked about this, he said it should be limited to what he called " visual mixing" , i.e., limited to just seeing people of the opposite sex around . As for interaction, again it should be within limits of shari'a( Islamic rules mentioned above). At the same time, most scholars recommend 2 jobs for women, as teachers or doctors - where mixing of sexes can be reduced to a minimum.

Hope your confusion is reduced to a minimum, too Salam alaikom