A challenge

q8penpals

Junior Member
Assalam aliekum

As the "season" approaches, I am sure that there will be many more postings about Christmas and reverts' non-Muslim families.

I just want to comment - so many, MANY times, born Muslims just seem to say, "Just don't celebrate Christmas". It is much harder than that. You want to know how hard? If you are a born Muslim, imagine what YOUR FAMILY would do if you showed up at home tonight and said, "You know, I decided to become a Christian - I am not going to fast or celebrate Eid anymore." Heck I challenge you to actually do it (and of course, within a few minutes tell your family you were doing an experiment). THAT is what it is like for reverts. And I have seen it even when a person changes from one Christian religion to another, not just christian to Muslim.

Many families see it not only has a conversion, but a slap in the face - like you are telling them that THEY ARE WRONG and they raised you wrong. And try telling them what to do - "Don't give me or my kids gifts for Christmas" - that would elicit a pretty basic "Don't you tell ME what I can and can't do" response from my family members.

So please, if you have been a Muslim your whole life, don't assume it is just as easy as saying, "I'm not celebrating Christmas anymore" and families saying, "oh, ok".

I will tell the truth - my family buys Christmas gifts for both my husband and myself (although we actually get the gifts in the summer when we visit) which we graciously accept, and you know what? I will ask forgiveness from God for this minor incursion rather than to have my whole family pi**ed off at me and to hate Islam (which, of course, would be the result, since they would feel that it is being pushed on them and I am trying to tell them what to do). My family doesn't go to church or pray on Christmas - it is mostly just a gift exchange, family get-together.

And if you feel the need to yell at me, well, I am a grown up and if that will make YOU feel better go ahead, but I can't lie and say that it will change me. But please, born Muslims, you need to show more compassion to the extra difficult challenges we reverts face with regards to situations with family like this.

Humbly,

Lana
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Salaam,


Thank you, thank you, thank you. Although I am a born Muslim..I have lived in the west.
Philsophically, I think it is against the grain of Islam to state that we be rude to those we love. The essence of Islam is common sense and a love of Allaha subhana talla. We are not isolated puritanical fingerpointing communities. Think. By the same token those born Muslims who live in the west....in essence we live in a pocket of Christians, Hindus, Jews, non belivers and everything else..you eat the food cooked by the hands of those who may ask the blessings of Jesus as they perpare the food..do you stop there?

Yes, most reverts have leaped where few dare to go. We are not to punish anyone.

I have attend dinners at the home of those celebrating. They are gracious enough to invite me.

The deeper question becomes who are we to dictate to others. Be careful..we are treading into areas that are very private. We do have a personal realtionship with Allah subhana talla.

No, as the season approaches we need to hold firm to our faith and be kind and generous as others celebrate their faith. I am strong in my believe. And when I do attend those dinners..the hosts are so kind to me..making sure to the point they will make an extra dish to please me.

Fatawas are general rules. They are guidelines. Maybe we need to find some fatawas on kindness to all of Allahs creation.
 

cmelbouzaidi

Junior Member
Assalam aliekum

As the "season" approaches, I am sure that there will be many more postings about Christmas and reverts' non-Muslim families.

I just want to comment - so many, MANY times, born Muslims just seem to say, "Just don't celebrate Christmas". It is much harder than that. You want to know how hard? If you are a born Muslim, imagine what YOUR FAMILY would do if you showed up at home tonight and said, "You know, I decided to become a Christian - I am not going to fast or celebrate Eid anymore." Heck I challenge you to actually do it (and of course, within a few minutes tell your family you were doing an experiment). THAT is what it is like for reverts. And I have seen it even when a person changes from one Christian religion to another, not just christian to Muslim.

Many families see it not only has a conversion, but a slap in the face - like you are telling them that THEY ARE WRONG and they raised you wrong. And try telling them what to do - "Don't give me or my kids gifts for Christmas" - that would elicit a pretty basic "Don't you tell ME what I can and can't do" response from my family members.

So please, if you have been a Muslim your whole life, don't assume it is just as easy as saying, "I'm not celebrating Christmas anymore" and families saying, "oh, ok".

I will tell the truth - my family buys Christmas gifts for both my husband and myself (although we actually get the gifts in the summer when we visit) which we graciously accept, and you know what? I will ask forgiveness from God for this minor incursion rather than to have my whole family pi**ed off at me and to hate Islam (which, of course, would be the result, since they would feel that it is being pushed on them and I am trying to tell them what to do). My family doesn't go to church or pray on Christmas - it is mostly just a gift exchange, family get-together.

And if you feel the need to yell at me, well, I am a grown up and if that will make YOU feel better go ahead, but I can't lie and say that it will change me. But please, born Muslims, you need to show more compassion to the extra difficult challenges we reverts face with regards to situations with family like this.

Humbly,

Lana

:salam2: dear sister lana, i just posted something on another thread today as there is already an inquiry about it! you have put it very well. i do feel that there are born muslims that do not understand how difficult it can be for us. my family, like yours, is not religious, but christmas day is really the only day that all my blood family is in my dad's house at one time. my dad looks forward to cooking for everyone and the poor thing is 74 years old. i don't feel like i am putting my faith in Allah in jeopardy by buying little gifts for everyone and accepting gifts and helping out with the meal and having some good quality family time just to see the smile on my father's face. if i were to call around one day and say i am boycotting the occasion, it would really crush my parents. i want to be the best muslim i can be and be the best daughter i can be to my non-muslim parents and treat them with the respect due. did not our beloved prophet, Mohammed, peace be upon him, continue to love his dear uncle who raised him, even though his uncle never did become a muslim?

this is a sensitive issue and i think each revert should assess their own situation. each individual case is different and i do no believe a generalized judgement should be made with such issues, but this is just my humble opinion :)

:wasalam:
 

ahmad al magtani

Kulo Nuwun
assalamualaikum,

of course it is not easy sis,i understand many revert have same condition with you, but again it is depend on your faith...regarding to this manner, many familly have different respond,the worse is "physical" respon it hurt...,in more democratic familly they will ask you why???and argue each other or debate....back to you if you have strong faith I think soon or later it will be melt their heart.

about the gift sent to your familly,it is ok to accept,I think do not celebrate doesnt mean refuse their gift,according to Quran food belong to ahlul kitab(jewis or christian) is halal as long as it is Halal food at first time(not violate the haram food condition in quran)
 

ShyHijabi

Junior Member
Salaam,

Thank you so much for writing this, Sister Lana. Every year I read posts by people born into a Muslim family wag their fingers and telling converts how easy it is to just cast off the years of family traditions and basically insult family. For many of us there is no one to celebrate Eid with and then we also have to face the isolation of not being around family during the holidays we were raised to celebrate.

The Jewish high holidays just passed and it was such a hollow ache inside...this being alone when I have always been with family during this time. There is always a large gathering of my family and food and laughter...this year...silence and isolation..like the last two years. For born Muslims I challenge them to not go to the Eid gatherings and not be with your family, if possible , completely seperate yourself from them. Do not accept Eid money or new clothes or whatever you family does on these ocassions. Go to a mosque where no one knows you and better yet, where they're all a different ethnicity than yourself. Even then you will not comprehend the difficulty a convert faces for you can always end this "experiment," we cannot.

Wasalaam

~Sarah
 

amirah80

*Fear Allah*
:salam2:

Well I understand it will be hard for reverts. I was one that said do not celebrate and probably on the thread that is in question. Now, I am a revert so I understand the situation clearly. My entire family is Christain. I have preachers, ministers, deacons, everything. The have gathers for Christmas and thanksgiving, etc..

The problem is when years ago when I first became muslims I did not know you cannot celebrate thanksgiving for lack of knowledge. So anyways I went to thanksgiving and what a big mistake.

Time to bless the food. We are all holding hands then they say "In Jesus name we pray". This is a big, big problem. We as muslims do not pray this way involving Shirk. Now I was put in a compromising position now what do I say "I do not pray to Jesus so I will let you guys pray" I felt akward and confused. I held hands with them and prayed. Astagfirllah. Now I had commited Shirk and had to repent.

If someone says I should not have prayed which is totally right. Then if you can stand there and so called hurt feelings by saying that. You can defintely say I will not attend. I know it is hard I have been faced with that. I made a bad choice I wish someone told me then not to go but I found out the hard way. I never went again needless to say. We will be tested as reverts, born muslims, everybody. The test will get harder than this believe me.

You just have to say strong, true to your deen and true to yourself. Some reverts have problem with other things drinking, smoking, etc.. The thing is if its wrong you give them the information supporting that. What they do with it is their choice. Allah guides who he wills.

So, believe me I am compassinate for ones situation. I am also more compassionate about Allah. But, I am a revert I know its hard but it can be done. In religion, any religion scarifices have to be made. You have to decide how much you are willing to scarifice for Allah. That is the point of test. How much will you scarifice to stay guided.

Wasalam
 

Optimist

قل هو الله أحد
I'm a born muslim and living in the West. I have to say I find rejecting Christmas presents & cards v. difficult even from work colleagues. The more educated among them will give me cards with "peace" or the like written on it. I simply say "thank you" and smile. I tend to reciprocate later during the year (e.g. Eid & the like). I don't send cards though but do give presents.

I have to agree that one must apply good judgement and wisedom in dealing with these matters. Alienating good meaning people is not the general intention of Islam IMHO.
 

Rosheen

Sister in Islam
salaams all,

To be honest since i have reverted...i dread xmas every year. Its sooo relentless. Not only is it a minefield with the family but with your colleagues and peers; and not just because you no longer celebrate, but because you often feel like you are missing out!

I had 26 christmases before i reverted. Christmas has been ingrained in me by my parents and society. I admit the day never held anything great for me...it was always a bit of a bore after the major 3 month run up.

But now i find that i feel terribly left out of it all. Its sad and pathetic i know, Islam means more to me than a few cards and going out for the traditional xams eve drinks...but still. Christmas is such a social time of year....all I ask is that people give us reverts a bit of thought, I got really depressed last year....InshAllah this year will be better.....i can only pray for that
 

cmelbouzaidi

Junior Member
:salam2:

Well I understand it will be hard for reverts. I was one that said do not celebrate and probably on the thread that is in question. Now, I am a revert so I understand the situation clearly. My entire family is Christain. I have preachers, ministers, deacons, everything. The have gathers for Christmas and thanksgiving, etc..

The problem is when years ago when I first became muslims I did not know you cannot celebrate thanksgiving for lack of knowledge. So anyways I went to thanksgiving and what a big mistake.

Time to bless the food. We are all holding hands then they say "In Jesus name we pray". This is a big, big problem. We as muslims do not pray this way involving Shirk. Now I was put in a compromising position now what do I say "I do not pray to Jesus so I will let you guys pray" I felt akward and confused. I held hands with them and prayed. Astagfirllah. Now I had commited Shirk and had to repent.

If someone says I should not have prayed which is totally right. Then if you can stand there and so called hurt feelings by saying that. You can defintely say I will not attend. I know it is hard I have been faced with that. I made a bad choice I wish someone told me then not to go but I found out the hard way. I never went again needless to say. We will be tested as reverts, born muslims, everybody. The test will get harder than this believe me.

You just have to say strong, true to your deen and true to yourself. Some reverts have problem with other things drinking, smoking, etc.. The thing is if its wrong you give them the information supporting that. What they do with it is their choice. Allah guides who he wills.

So, believe me I am compassinate for ones situation. I am also more compassionate about Allah. But, I am a revert I know its hard but it can be done. In religion, any religion scarifices have to be made. You have to decide how much you are willing to scarifice for Allah. That is the point of test. How much will you scarifice to stay guided.

Wasalam

:salam2: dear sister amirah, i understand that your case with the very christian relatives is a particular one. i think what a lot of us reverts deal with is christmas being just a social occasion with no religious symbolism involved and not such an awkward moment presents itself at what happened at thanksgiving in your situation. this is why we should not make general judgements regarding these things. we, who have come to islam, have had enough sense to do so, Alhamdulillah, and i do not think it is compromising our faith to spend time with our non-muslim family if it is simply a chance to get together with no religious ideals attached, which is what christmas is for so many at this point.

however, i do agree that other things arise at such occasions like alcohol, etc. my blood family are irish and they all drink. my dad drinks a glass of wine with every meal and i cannot ask him not to in his own house as it would be disrespectful. and yet, i do not want to avoid my parents especially as they are getting older and make them despise the fact that i am now muslim. this is an example of a struggle a lot of us reverts have.

Allah is the one who knows our intentions and he is the best of Judges.

:wasalam:
 

amirah80

*Fear Allah*
:salam2:

No I was not implying people drink on chirstmas but some d0. I was saying doing reverts have different obstacles to overcome whether it is Christmas, Thanksgiving, Birthdays, etc.... Some have other issues drinking, smoking whatever. The prayer in my post is not the only problem. Mixing freely with men and women. As a american family it gets to hugging non mahrems and sometimes kissing on the cheeks etc which is also not allowed. No need to put daleel for that I think we all know that if not I can.

See the thing is I do not think we has a issue with knowing its not allowed or do we? I thought the problem is the whole feel compassionate they are reverts and give them permission to do this. But, as you said alot of families get kindof swayed from the meanings of Christmas. But, the purpose why the do it on those days remain the same or they would gather another day. Then when you start saying ok well your family does not really observe the meaning so go and your really holds fast to the religion so you do not go. Then, people will have to decide which family they belong too. This causes confusion and Islam is not about confusion.

I also, know some mention Islam does not alienate people and that is true but you still have guidelines to follow is ones religion. No one is suggesting do not see your family but it does not have to be limited to just Christmas. Believe me I understand the dilemma but again this starts get into personal emotions and setting aside what Allah commanded. Fatwas have been provided about this and I even provided a hadith in the other thread. I assume it was read.

This is not intended to be agrumentative or anything of the such. That is not my Niyyah Allahu Alim. But, as a muslim you are obligated to tell your brother or sister the facts. That is mandatory of a muslim. And if they heed or not is their proragative but the info must be delievered. This is not me speaking my own fatwa. The proof is there and listed in the other thread. The ummah is not divided into reverts and born muslims. There is only one Islam. I just suggest when going to present information differing for the daleel of a hadith and a reputable scholars, please bring evidence.

Again it will be hard to do but life is choices. We adhere to the Quran and the Sunnah and heed to advice by Scholars if they are staying within the guidelines of Quran and Sunnah. No one here is a Shaykh or Scholar as far as I know. So what I posted with daleel in the other thread is not from me.

But with that said the evidence is there. People will heed and not heed that is reality so you right Allahu Alim. We can provide the information but cannot force.

I just ask when daleel is present people do not get upset. We get so upset when a member brings daleel for something and adhering to Allah that goes against things they want to do. Revert or not.

Wasalam Amirah80
 

Munawar

Striving for Paradise
:salam2:
Brothers and sisters,

I understand sister Lana what you are saying. I can imagine how hard this is, that is why I have never ever said to a revert brother or sister to not attend a Chrismas dinner with family.

But before I say anything else I would have to say if one politely refuses to attend such parties and politely explain the reason why he/she is refusing and then do not feel bad about this decision and be pleased with whatever Allah has provided, that person will get such great reward from Allah that it is hard to imagine. But I also know that one has to be at the level of a wali (like a saint) to be able to do that. I do not expect this from average people like us.

Now I would like to remind people something about at the time of Prophet :saw:. The prohibition on alchohol came much much later. Why? because accrding to Aisha (RA) if the order of prohibition on alchohol have come in Makkah people would have rejected it. So Allah prohibited it when the level of Emaan was high enough that people would accept it and obey it.

So keep in mind Allah is very very very forgiving... One thing about Christmas is that it is the birthday of Essa (AS) who was also one of the prophets of Islam. So I think in that respect one can attend the party by making it clear to all other people that this is the birthday of Essa (AS). And if that party is in one's parents house or if they are attending it or if they ask one to attend, then Islam says that you obey their commands. Just don't do the SHIRK and do not drink alcohol or eat Pork etc and you will be alright, InshaAllah.

I also think that this is a great opportunity to do dawah as well, to introduce Islam to all other family members and friends. If one is polite and do not reply to the taunts and sorcastic remarks and keep the smile, then I think atleast one person will be attracted towards Islam.

My dear dear dear brothers and sisters in Islam... please do not live alone or aloof. It breaks my heart when I read things e.g. what sister Sarah or Lana or Rosheen has written. Please keep in touch with your family and attend the occasion if it is not haraam or if they are doing something haraam then skip that part but attend the rest of the non-haraam part of the gathering and specially if your parents are alive then do not miss these occasions, just skip the haraam foods and acts.

I am not an Aalim (scholar) but my heart says that it is permissable to attend family gatherings with conditions as I stated above. Allah will give you great rewards for what you are doing and going through for his sake, InshaAllah.

I love you guys. :SMILY252: :hearts:

:wasalam:
 
:salam2: sister. I am a born muslim and not a revert. You might say i dont understand. But i do understand. The reason behind trying to stay away from it is cause when you have kids involved. When Suppose your son abdullah who is suppose 6 yrs old say mom everybody is drinking having such a good time. Then why is it wrong. Why cant i do the same when i grow up. Or they were singing christmas carols why i cant sing with them. It is easy for you but for a small kid it can be very confusing. I have a far off cousin who married a christian lady. The cousins kids are pretty confused. For you as an adult maybe it is ok maybe its not ALLAH HO ALAM only allah knows. Maybe he will forgive. Maybe your faith is strong enough to stay firm in your belief even among non believers. But a kids mind is different. And we r no one to judge or tell you what to do. You are a grown up person. You have read the Quran and know what is right and what is wrong. And no one know who Allah will forgive and who he will not. May Allah guide you to make the right decision.
 

amirah80

*Fear Allah*
:salam2:

Innovation is Misguidance Even if the people think it is good... Shayh Al-Hilaalee
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Every Innovation is Misguidance
EVEN IF THE PEOPLE THINK IT IS GOOD

By the Shaykh Saleem al-Hilaalee



The people of knowledge, from the Companions, the taabi'een (their followers) and the Imaams of the Muslim who followed in their footsteps; whose excellence has been testified to, are all agreed upon the blameworthiness of bid'ah (innovations) and their evil, and that one should be free from innovations and those connected to it. There was no doubt about this from any of them, nor any withholding from that.
So here are some authentic sayings reported from them, as examples of their living and clear actions. So if we take some examples from the level of the Companions, we find that which brings delight to the heart of one who seeks to follow his Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, whilst also refuting the opinion of the innovators:

'Abdullaah ibn Mas'ood radiallaahu 'anhu said:
"Follow and do not innovate, for you have been given that which is sufficient [and every innovation is misguidance]."

'Abdullaah ibn 'Umar radiallaahu 'anhu said:
"Every innovation is misguidance, even if the people consider it to be something good."

And if we look at their actions we will see that they were in total agreement with their sayings:

So 'Amr ibn Salamah narrated:
We used to sit at the door of 'Abdullaah ibn Mas'ood before the morning Prayer, so that when he would come out we would walk with him to the mosque. One day Abu Moosaa al-Ash'aree came to us and said: Has Abu 'Abdur-Rahmaan (i.e. Ibn Mas'ood) come out yet? We replied: No! So he sat down with us until he came out. When he came out we all stood along with him, so Abu Moosaa said to him: O Abu 'Abdur-Rahmaan! I have just seen something in the mosque which I deemed to be evil, but - and all praise is for Allaah - I did not see anything except good. Ibn Mas'ood inquired: "What did you see?" Abu Moosaa replied: If you live, you too will see it. In the mosque I saw people sitting in circles awaiting the Prayer. In each circle they had pebbles in their hands and a man would say: repeat Allanhu Akhar a hundred times. So they would repeat it a hundred times. Then he would say: repeat Laa ilaaha illallaah a hundred times. So they would repeat it a hundred times. Then he would say: repeat Subhaanallaah a hundred times. So they would say it a hundred times. Ibn Mas'ood then asked: "What did you say to them?" Abu Moosaa said: I did not say anything to them. Instead I waited to hear your view, or what you declared. Then we went along with him, until he came to one of these circles and stood up and said: "What is this I see you doing?" They replied: O Abu 'Abdur-Rahmaan! These are pebbles upon which we are counting takbeer, tahleel and tasbeeh. He said to them: "Rather, count up your evil deeds. For I assure you that none of your good deeds will be lost. Woe be to you O Ummah of Muhammad sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam! How quickly you head into destruction! These are the Companions of your Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam and who are widespread. There are his clothes which have not yet decayed, and his bowl which is unbroken. By Him in whose Hand is my soul! Either you are upon a religion better guided than the Religion of Muhammad sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, or you are opening the doors of misguidance." They said: O Abu 'Abdur-Rahmaan! By Allaah! We only intend good. He said to them: "How many there are who intend good, but do not achieve it. Indeed Allaah's Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said to us: "A people will recite the Qur'aan, but it will not pass beyond their throats." By Allaah I do not know, but perhaps most of them are from you." Then he left. Amr ibn Salamah said: We saw most of those people fighting against us on the day of Nahrawaan, alongside the Khawaarij.

So this excellent narration encompasses many great principles, which are not known except to those who follow the Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, those who do not put anything before Allaah and His Messenger, but rather say: We hear and we obey.

So from the principles are:

Firstly: That the One who prescribed the ends, did not Forget to prescribe the means. So when Allaah prescribed For His servants the dhikr (rememberance of Allaah), He did not forget to prescribe the means and the way to do this. So Allaah's Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam used to count the tasbeeh (glorifications of Allaah) upon his right hand and he said that they (i.e., the fingers) will he questioned and would speak.

Secondly: That al-bid'ah al-idbaafiyyah is misguidance. And al-bid'ah al-idbaafiyyah is: that type of innovation which is based upon a proof with regards to its foundation, but it has no proof with regards to the manner or the form. That is why it is called idbaafiyyah (something added on). And this type of innovation is, from one angle, directly against correct guidance, and from another angle, it is in agreement with it. So these people did not say something which is kufr (disbelief), nor did they do something which was in itself evil, rather they were remembering Allaah - and this is something which is prescribed by Revelation. However, the manner in which they performed this action went against the guidance laid down by Muhammad sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, and so the Companions opposed them and told them to count this amongst their evil actions instead.

Thirdly: Allaah - the Most Perfect, the Most High - is not to be worshipped, except by what He prescribes. So He is not to be worshipped according to desires, customs or innovations.

Fourthly: That innovations kill off the Sunnah. So this group of people innovated a new way of performing dhikr (remembering Allaah), which was not reported from Allaah's Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam. So in doing this, they killed off the guidance of Muhammad sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam. And this is a principle which the Salafus-Saalih (Pious Predecessors) well understood, and they knew for certain that innovations and the Sunnah cannot unite together:

Hassaan ibn 'Atiyyah (d.120H)- rahimahullaah - said: "No people introduce an innovation into their religion, except that its like from the Sunnah is ripped away from them."

Fifthly: That innovations are the cause for destruction, since it leads to abandoning the Sunnah, and this causes tremendous misguidance. The noble Companion 'Abdullaah ibn Mas'ood radiallaahu 'anhu said: "If you were to abandon the Sunnah of your Prophet then you would go astray." So if the Ummah goes astray then it is destroyed. Therefore 'Abdullaah ibn Mas'ood said to that group: "O Ummah of Muhammad sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam! How quickly you head into destruction."

So the particular relevance of Ibn Mas'ood's understanding is reflected in the context of the above narration. So Abu Moosaa al-Ash'aree radiallaahu 'anhu did not criticise them, rather he waited for the view or the order of 'Abdullaah ibn Mas'ood radiallaahu 'anhu. And this stance was not merely taken out of love or out of displaying false affection to Ibn Umm 'Abd (i.e. to Ibn Mas'ood). Rather Abu Moosaa was pleased for himself with what Allaah's Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam was pleased with for his Ummah, since he sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "l am pleased for my Ummah with what Ibn Umm 'Abd is pleased with for it."

Also in the narration is a proof that all of the Companions were agreed in opposing this action, since 'Abdullaah ibn Mas'ood radiallaahu 'anhu used as a proof the fact that the Companions radiallaahu 'anhum were wide spread (and therefore could easily be asked).

Sixthly: Innovations quickly lead to kufr (disbelief). This is because the innovator has set himself up as one who is able to legislate and prescribe things; and thus set himself up as a partner to Allaah, adding things to the rulings laid down by Allaah, thinking that he is on a religion of better guidance than the Religion of Muhammad sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam.

Seventhly: That innovations open the doors widely for disagreements to occur, and this is a door to misguidance. So whosoever lays down an evil way in Islaam, then he bears the sin of it and the sin of those who act upon it, until the Day of Judgement, without their sin being reduced by anything. And this is because the one who guides to an evil action is like the one who does it.

Eighthly: Not giving importance to the matter of shunning innovations, leads to evil and sins. Do you not see that these people came to be amongst the ranks of the deviated group called the Khawaarij on the day of Nahrawaan, fighting against the Companions radiallaahu 'anhum, who were led by the Leader of the Believers 'Alee radiallaahu 'anhu, who cut-off this deviated group, on that memorable day.

Imaam al-Barbahaaree (d.329H)- rahimahullaah - said: "Beware of small innovations, because they grow and become large. This was the case with every innovation introduced into this Ummah. It started as something small, bearing a resemblance to the truth, which is why those who entered into it were misled, and then were unable to leave it. So it grew and it became the religion which they followed, so they deviated from the Straight Path and thus left Islaam. May Allaah have mercy upon you! Examine carefully the speech of everyone you hear from, in your time particularly. So do not act in haste, nor enter into anything from it, until you ask and see: Did any of the Companions of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam speak abou t it, or any of the (early) Scholars? So if you find a narration from them about it, cling to it and do not go beyond it for anything, nor give precedence to anything over it and thus fall into the Fire."

Ninthly: Righteous actions are only according to righteous intentions, and a good intention does not make something which is futile correct. This is because intentions alone cannot make an action correct, but rather complying with the Sharee'ah (Prescribed Laws) must be added to that.

Finally: Adding to something good is not good, because addition in good is evil, and this is something that is witnessed in everything. Thus, a matter, when it goes beyond its limits, changes to its opposite. So bravery, when it is added to, turns into rashness, and if it is decreased from , then it becomes cowardice. And generosity, if its limits are exceeded, then it becomes wastefulness, and if it is fallen short of, then it becomes miserliness. So the best of the affairs are the justly-balanced ones.

And 'Abdullaah ibn Mas'ood radiallaahu 'anhu was not alone amongst the Companions in condemning innovations. So here we find 'Abdullaah ibn 'Umar radiallaahu 'anhu, who was one of severest from the Companions in condemning innovations and abandoning the innovators. So once he heard a man sneezing and saying: Praise be to Allaah and may the salaah and salaam (the praises of Allaah and blessings of peace) be upon Allaah's Messenger. So he said to him: What is this? This is not what Allaah's Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam taught us, rather he said: "When one of you sneezes then let him praise Allaah. " And he did not say: And also send salaah (blessings of peace) upon Allaah's Messenger.

Likewise was the practice of the taabi'een (those who met the Companions and clung to their way). So in this regard there is what is reported from Sa'eed ibn al-Musayyib (d.90H) rahimahullaah, that he saw a man praying after the appearance of dawn, more than two rak'ahs, making many rukoos (bowings) and sajdahs (prostrations), so he forbade him from this. So the man said: O Abu Muhammad (i.e. Ibn al-Musayyib)! Will Allaah punish me for my Prayer? So he said: "No! But He will punish you for opposing the Sunnah (Prophetic guidance)."

And these narrations contain many good points of benefit, so from them:-

The Companions rebutting everyone who went against the au thentic Sunnah, sometimes being very severe in their rebuttal, even if it was against their own fathers and sons.

[ii] That bid'ah at-tarkiyyah is misguidance: And this type of bid'ah (innovation) is one for which there is a proof to establish the action, except that the people deliberately leave the action, thinking that it is a part of the Religion, or something similar to it. For example, some of the Soofees who abandon marriage in order to emasculate themselves. The proof for this being misguidance is from Allaah - the Most High's - saying:

"O you who Believe! Do not make haraam (unlawful) the good things that Allaah has made halaal (lawful) to you, and do not transgress. Indeed Allaah does not love the transgressors. And eat of the things that Allaah has provided for you, lawful and good, and have taqwaa (fear and obedience) of Allaah in Whom you believe." [Soorah al-Maa'idah 5:87-88].

So this aayah (verse) is concerned with a single meaning, which is: making forbidden that which Allaah has allowed from the good and pure things, and doing so as a matter of religion. And Allaah has forbidden this, and considered it as going beyond the limits, since it is transgressing upon Allaah's right, in that He alone has the right to prescribe and legislate. And Allaah does not love those who transgress the limits. Then Allaah affirmed the allowance of these things with an even greater emphasis by His saying:

"And eat of the things that Allaah has provided for you, lawful and good, and have taqwaa (fear and obedience) of Allaah in Whom you believe." [Soorah al-Maa'idah 5:87-88].

Then he ordered them to have taqwaa (piety and obedience to Him). So this shows that the forbiddance of what Allaah has made lawful, in any form, is outside the bounds of taqwaa. Therefore, the Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said to those three men who came to the houses of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, asking about his worship and then on being informed about it, considered their own worship to be very little, so they said: What a great difference there is between us and the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, whose previous and latter sins have been forgiven by Allaah. So one of them said: I will always Pray during the night. The other one said: I will always fast during the day and not break my fast. And the third of them said: I will keep away from women and never get married. Then Allaah's Messenger came to them and said: "Are you the people who said such and such? By Allaah! I am the one who is the most knowledgeable about Allaah amongst you, and the one who has the most taqwaa of Him. Yet I fast and break my fast, I pray and I sleep, and I marry women. So whosoever turns away from my Sunnah (guidance) is not from me."

So if the Companions radiallaahu 'anhum left for us words of deep insight and which clearly enlighten the hearts, then men after them, who likewise attained the truth from this light, have also left for us words which are almost like the words of the Companions. And this is because they were those who very closely followed in the footsteps of the Companions - and the likes of their sayings have already preceded. However we add here a final example of their stance of truth:

Thus, a man came to Imaam Maalik (d.179H)- rahimahullaah - and said: O Abu 'Abdullaah! Where shall I enter the state of ihraam (the dress for one intending to do Pilgrimage)? So Imaam Maalik replied: "From Dhul-Hulayfah, where Allaah's Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam entered the state of ihraam." The man then said: But I wish to enter the state of ihraam at the mosque by his grave. So Imaam Maalik said: "Do not do that, for I fear for you the fitnah (trial)." So the man said: What fitnah are you referring to, since it is only a few extra miles: So Imaam Maalik said: "And what fitnah can be greater than for you to think that you have attained some virtue, which Allaah's Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam fell short of. Have you not heard the saying of Allaah:

"Let those beware who oppose the command of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, lest they are afflicted with fitnah (trial), or lest they are afflicted with a painful punishment." [Soorah an-Noor 24:63]."

Wasalam
 

amirah80

*Fear Allah*
:salam2:

I know it was mentioned in a post that we do not have Alim so we need to adhere to the ones that do have Alim.

Can she attend Christmas celebrations in order to greet her relatives?
She says: I want to become Muslim, but my family gather to celebrate Christmas, and I want to go and greet them. This is not with the intention of celebrating or joining in, but simply to make the most of the opportunity of my relatives getting together. Is this allowed?


We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen,who answered as follows:

No, it is not permitted. If Allaah blesses her with Islam, then the first thing she must do is to distance herself from her former religion and its festivals.

And Allaah knows best.


Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen
 

amirah80

*Fear Allah*
:salam2:

Fatwa 947 Basic Tenets of Faith » Alliance and Amity, Disavowal and Enmity



Ruling on celebrating non-Muslim holidays and congratulating them
Can a muslim celebrate a non muslim holiday like Thanksgiving?
Praise be to Allaah.

Greeting the kuffaar on Christmas and other religious holidays of theirs is haraam, by consensus, as Ibn al-Qayyim, may Allaah have mercy on him, said in Ahkaam Ahl al-Dhimmah: "Congratulating the kuffaar on the rituals that belong only to them is haraam by consensus, as is congratulating them on their festivals and fasts by saying ‘A happy festival to you’ or ‘May you enjoy your festival,’ and so on. If the one who says this has been saved from kufr, it is still forbidden. It is like congratulating someone for prostrating to the cross, or even worse than that. It is as great a sin as congratulating someone for drinking wine, or murdering someone, or having illicit sexual relations, and so on. Many of those who have no respect for their religion fall into this error; they do not realize the offensiveness of their actions. Whoever congratulates a person for his disobedience or bid’ah or kufr exposes himself to the wrath and anger of Allaah."

Congratulating the kuffaar on their religious festivals is haraam to the extent described by Ibn al-Qayyim because it implies that one accepts or approves of their rituals of kufr, even if one would not accept those things for oneself. But the Muslim should not aceept the rituals of kufr or congratulate anyone else for them, because Allaah does not accept any of that at all, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):

"If you disbelieve, then verily, Allaah is not in need of you, He likes not disbelief for His slaves. And if you are grateful (by being believers), He is pleased therewith for you. . ."
[al-Zumar 39:7]

". . . This day, I have perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islaam as your religion . . ."
[al-Maa’idah 5:3]

So congratulating them is forbidden, whether they are one’s colleagues at work or otherwise.

If they greet us on the occasion of their festivals, we should not respond, because these are not our festivals, and because they are not festivals which are acceptable to Allaah. These festivals are innovations in their religions, and even those which may have been prescribed formerly have been abrogated by the religion of Islaam, with which Allaah sent Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to the whole of mankind. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Whoever seeks a religion other than Islaam, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers." [Aal ‘Imraan 3:85]

It is haraam for a Muslim to accept invitations on such occasions, because this is worse than congratulating them as it implies taking part in their celebrations.

Similarly, Muslims are forbidden to imitate the kuffaar by having parties on such occasions, or exchanging gifts, or giving out sweets or food, or taking time off work, etc., because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Whoever imitates a people is one of them." Shaykh al-Islaam Ibn Taymiyah said in his book Iqtidaa’ al-siraat al-mustaqeem mukhaalifat ashaab al-jaheem: "Imitating them in some of their festivals implies that one is pleased with their false beliefs and practices, and gives them the hope that they may have the opportunity to humiliate and mislead the weak."

Whoever does anything of this sort is a sinner, whether he does it out of politeness or to be friendly, or because he is too shy to refuse, or for whatever other reason, because this is hypocrisy in Islaam, and because it makes the kuffaar feel proud of their religion.Allaah is the One Whom we ask to make the Muslims feel proud of their religion, to help them adhere steadfastly to it, and to make them victorious over their enemies, for He is the Strong and Omnipotent.



Majmoo’ah Fataawa wa Rasaa’il al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 3/369)
 

xSharingan01x

TraVeLer
:salam2:

Well I understand it will be hard for reverts. I was one that said do not celebrate and probably on the thread that is in question. Now, I am a revert so I understand the situation clearly. My entire family is Christain. I have preachers, ministers, deacons, everything. The have gathers for Christmas and thanksgiving, etc..

The problem is when years ago when I first became muslims I did not know you cannot celebrate thanksgiving for lack of knowledge. So anyways I went to thanksgiving and what a big mistake.

Time to bless the food. We are all holding hands then they say "In Jesus name we pray". This is a big, big problem. We as muslims do not pray this way involving Shirk. Now I was put in a compromising position now what do I say "I do not pray to Jesus so I will let you guys pray" I felt akward and confused. I held hands with them and prayed. Astagfirllah. Now I had commited Shirk and had to repent.

If someone says I should not have prayed which is totally right. Then if you can stand there and so called hurt feelings by saying that. You can defintely say I will not attend. I know it is hard I have been faced with that. I made a bad choice I wish someone told me then not to go but I found out the hard way. I never went again needless to say. We will be tested as reverts, born muslims, everybody. The test will get harder than this believe me.

You just have to say strong, true to your deen and true to yourself. Some reverts have problem with other things drinking, smoking, etc.. The thing is if its wrong you give them the information supporting that. What they do with it is their choice. Allah guides who he wills.

So, believe me I am compassinate for ones situation. I am also more compassionate about Allah. But, I am a revert I know its hard but it can be done. In religion, any religion scarifices have to be made. You have to decide how much you are willing to scarifice for Allah. That is the point of test. How much will you scarifice to stay guided.

Wasalam

:salam2:
Would you still be okay with attending a family celebration during dinner and abstain from prayer related activities?
I personally do not see what is the big problem in joining these gathering, celebrations, dinner, etc... so long as one stays away from worshiping related rituals and follows proper guidelines concerning mixing and other related issues, as you have pointed out.

Most of the people that are present at the mentioned events are family members and near relative. I think most of the revert Brothers and sisters would want to participate in these gathering, dinners, etc... to show kindness and respect toward family members and relatives, not because they want to join in group prayers.
If you have actually gone to a dinner during Christmas, you would know prayer is the last thing they would care about (beside the prayer to Jesus before eating, which of course one can abstain from). I'm not saying they are not good Christians, but prayer is not the focus of these dinner.

One more thing we are forgetting, Islam encourages us to show kindness and respect toward parents and near relatives, by totally isolating oneself from them during these holidays I would think one would be showing disrespect and contempt. At least that's how the parents and the families would understand it.


I've gotten several gifts during Christmas and I accepted it. I was invited to my friend's house for Dinner during Thanksgiving and Christmas. My friend's family did their prayer before eating and I just said "Bismilah". Couple of them had wine, and I had water and orange juice.

May Allah make it easier on all the brothers and sisters who are facing difficulties and pressure from families.

Well, I have to kindly reject the OP's challenge. There is no doubt in my mind that my mom and dad will instantly kick me out of the house.


Allah knows best.
 

amirah80

*Fear Allah*
:salam2:
Would you still be okay with attending a family celebration during dinner and abstain from prayer related activities?
I personally do not see what is the big problem in joining these gathering, celebrations, dinner, etc... so long as one stays away from worshiping related rituals.

Most of the people that are present at the mentioned events are family members and near relative. I think most of the revert Brothers and sisters would want to participate in these gathering, dinners, etc... to show kindness and respect toward family members and relatives, not because they want to join in group prayers.
If you have actually gone to a dinner during Christmas, you would know prayer is the last thing they would care about (beside the prayer to Jesus before eating, which of course one can abstain from). I'm not saying they are not good Christians, but prayer is not the focus of these dinner.

One more thing we are forgetting, Islam encourages us to show kindness and respect toward parents and near relatives, by totally isolating oneself from them during these holidays I would think one would be showing disrespect and contempt. At least that's how the parents and the families would understand it.


I've gotten several gifts during Christmas and I accepted it. I was invited to my friend's house for Dinner during Thanksgiving and Christmas. My friend's family did their prayer before eating and I just said "Bismilah". Couple of them had wine, and I had water and orange juice.

May Allah make it easier on all the brothers and sisters who are facing difficulties and pressure from families.



Allah knows best.

Salam Alaikum

Yes, I would go to dinner with my family. On Christmas I personally would not. I am a revert and my mother asked to by my children items and I told her no we do not celebrate Christmas anymore. She told me she does and wants to by gifts. Actually, I told her she can purchase gifts for the Eid that would be ok. She was upset but she actually got over it Alhumdulilah. I have been to Christmas dinner before becoming muslim like every year. So, I already know what the things that occur in my family.

Also, you are defintely correct. Islam does teach us be good to our parents. Alhumdulilah But, with that said there is a exception. You do not have to obey when your parents tell you to do something against Islam. Also, really there is no need to talk in circles. I posted daleel in case a member was not able to view the other thread. It is lengthy but worth reading.

We all know a person can visit his family I did not see anyone imply they cannot. Inshallah everyone can visit their families and have a beautiful time and adhere to Islam in the process. No one is here to judge anyone its not my place or anyone elses.

No one is prefect in this world. In Islam you do as much as you can do. As a revert everything will not come easy overnight. When one Iman gets stronger this things that are harder to do at first will inshallah get easier over time.

I just know if I were doing something incorrectly I will not advise anyone else to do that thing. That is what we all must be very careful about. Some things we think are good and think there is no problem in them but we can be transgressing limits.

Each person will choose what they think is best for themselves. No one can force anything on anyone. Alhumdulilah

The information is there who ver chooses to adhere Alhumdulilah and whomever does not Allahu Alim.

At first this started as Christmas and wanted to celebrate now it kindof dwindled on to something else. Some people do not have religious families like you mentioned but they still partake in some of the celebration by exchanging gifts, etc... for Christmas which is still celebrating it. But, if the family is not religious and really disregards the meaning how is it so hard to tell them?

May Allah make us all sabr, increase our iman, keep us on the straight path and enter in Jannah Al-Firdaws. Ameen
 

Munawar

Striving for Paradise
Salam Alaikum

Yes, I would go to dinner with my family. On Christmas I personally would not. I am a revert and my mother asked to by my children items and I told her no we do not celebrate Christmas anymore. She told me she does and wants to by gifts. Actually, I told her she can purchase gifts for the Eid that would be ok. She was upset but she actually got over it Alhumdulilah.

I have been to Christmas dinner before becoming muslim like every year. So, I already know what the things that occur in my family.

sorry not finished writing editing

:salam2: Sister Amirah,

You are just wonderful sister. May Allah reward you immensely for what you are doing.

I have read what you have written in your post above, and I do not disagree with your post because I am not an Aalim. However I will look into hadiths and I will post here if I find something related to our discussion here.

Sister Amirah a belated Eid Mubarak to you. Hope you had a wonderful Ramadan and Eid.

:wasalam:
 

xSharingan01x

TraVeLer
Salam Alaikum

Yes, I would go to dinner with my family. On Christmas I personally would not. I am a revert and my mother asked to by my children items and I told her no we do not celebrate Christmas anymore. She told me she does and wants to by gifts. Actually, I told her she can purchase gifts for the Eid that would be ok. She was upset but she actually got over it Alhumdulilah. I have been to Christmas dinner before becoming muslim like every year. So, I already know what the things that occur in my family.

Also, you are defintely correct. Islam does teach us be good to our parents. Alhumdulilah But, with that said there is a exception. You do not have to obey when your parents tell you to do something against Islam. Also, really there is no need to talk in circles. I posted daleel in case a member was not able to view the other thread. It is lengthy but worth reading.

We all know a person can visit his family I did not see anyone imply they cannot. Inshallah everyone can visit their families and have a beautiful time and adhere to Islam in the process. No one is here to judge anyone its not my place or anyone elses.

No one is prefect in this world. In Islam you do as much as you can do. As a revert everything will not come easy overnight. When one Iman gets stronger this things that are harder to do at first will inshallah get easier over time.

I just know if I were doing something incorrectly I will not advise anyone else to do that thing. That is what we all must be very careful about. Some things we think are good and think there is no problem in them but we can be transgressing limits.

Each person will choose what they think is best for themselves. No one can force anything on anyone. Alhumdulilah

The information is there who ver chooses to adhere Alhumdulilah and whomever does not Allahu Alim.

At first this started as Christmas and wanted to celebrate now it kindof dwindled on to something else. Some people do not have religious families like you mentioned but they still partake in some of the celebration by exchanging gifts, etc... for Christmas which is still celebrating it. But, if the family is not religious and really disregards the meaning how is it so hard to tell them?

May Allah make us all sabr, increase our iman, keep us on the straight path and enter in Jannah Al-Firdaws. Ameen
:salam2:

Thank You for clarifying the issue for me. May Allah reward you.
I cannot imagine how difficult it is for revert Brothers and Sisters. May Allah make it easier for them. Ameen. :salah:
Perhaps they are getting more Ajar from Allah, for the difficulties they are facings.


:wasalam:
 

amirah80

*Fear Allah*
:salam2: Sister Amirah,

You are just wonderful sister. May Allah reward you immensely for what you are doing.

I have read what you have written in your post above, and I do not disagree with your post because I am not an Aalim. However I will look into hadiths and I will post here if I find something related to our discussion here.

Sister Amirah a belated Eid Mubarak to you. Hope you had a wonderful Ramadan and Eid.

:wasalam:

Salam Alaikum

Allah ya barik fik. May Allah reward us all for just trying to increase our knowlege in Islam and increase or Iman. Ameen

Jazak for the belated Eid Mubark! Allahu Akram. Alhumdulilah I did and Inshallah your was filled with barakah.:)

There actually is a hadith. I will summarize it but I wil try to locate and post it exactly as it is stated.

But the hadith is recorded by Anas. Again I will try to locate it for you and then I will edit this and post it.

It says the Prophet (saws) went from mekkah to medina. And he saw the Ansaar which were the muslims in Medina celebrating and having festivals. The Prophet (saws) asked the Ansaar what are you doing. They said celebrating the holidays that were before Islam. The Prophet (saws) said Allah came with two better holidays Eid Al-fitr and Eid Al-Adha.

Again, I will find the actually hadith. Daleel is vital as you know. :)

*edit*
Hadith
Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:
“The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came to Madeenah and the people had two days when they would play and have fun. He said, ‘What are these two days?’ They said, ‘We used to play and have fun on these days during the Jaahiliyyah. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘Allaah has given you something better than them, the day of Adhaa and the day of Fitr.’”

Sunan Abi Dawood, 1134

Anas (ra), a companion of prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) reported that when the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) migrated from Makkah to Madinah, the people of Madinah used to have two festivals. On those two days they had carnivals and festivity. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) asked the Ansaar (the Muslims of Madinah) about it. They replied that before Islam they used to have carnivals on those two joyous days. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) told them: 'Instead of those two days, Allah has appointed two other days which are better, the days of Eid-al-Fitr and Eid-al-Adha.' (Hadith)



Wasalam Amirah80
 
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