marriage!

[malickabrother]

:salam2: brothers and sisters,we nowadays see many marriages between a muslim man and a non-muslim woman or a muslim woman and non-muslim man so I just wanted to know if these are allowed in Islam?
keep me in your duas and the whole Ummah!

 

[Mabsoot]

wa alaykum salam

Muslim men can marry non-Muslim such as Christian or Jewish ladies.

this issue has been talked about before here:

Muslim men marrying People of the Book

So, for more information and evidences look there please...

Whether in most cases today, it is wise, I do not know. Certainly, for men to marry Jew or Christian we can not say it is haram. As it is something in the Quran. As for women, then this is not allowed.

Most of these mixed faith marriages do not work out as the couple never really had a strong base to begin with. Although, sometimes the women research about Islam and find out for themselves and become Muslims.... often finding that their husbands are not so good at practising Islam.

Its best for people to find and marry pious person who loves and fears Allah and wants live their life accordance with Islam.

Islam gives the best base to have a successful long lasting (forever inshaAllah) marriage, that develops the best and greatest love between husband and wife.

Love is of two types, one which is from Allah and the other, which is not really love, and comes from Shaitan. Shaitan makes it an easy way for people to think they are "in love" and then they do sin or even marry the wrong person. Thats because, Shaitan can fool a person into making the wrong decision or not knowing who is right for them.

These days, Muslim men and women unfortunately, are falling into this problem.

The other love, is one which is based on clear thinking and making sure that things are done in the correct and halal way.

Those men that often want to marry a Christian or a Jew these days, how do they marry? I have yet to hear of a Christian or Jewish girl in the West who would want to meet a man in the presence of her father or brothers and then proceed to get married in a Shariah method!!!

So, those men who go off to marry people of the book, and say it is allowed, do haram in the first place to get to that stage... and Allah knows best their condition.

A lot of men from Middle East go to study in Europe, find a girl, get married (sometimes not) and then later when they get back home, they are pressured into marrying a girl from their own society. This is a cultural pressure, and not one based on Islam. Its unfortunate, that neither the husband or the wife had thought about their future in a realistic and correct way. Often, this leaves the children with divorced parents.

I met a man in Palestine, who was divorced, his wife and kids live in the UK and are not Muslims. It is such a big shame, Allah help them all.

Therefore, it is imperative for Muslims to take their time and seek a spouse who sincerely wishes to be a good Muslim and who really implements Islam in their life. Such as person should have good character and personality. People need to consider the next generation too. The parents are a big factor in the upbringing of children.

 

[hassana elkoussi]

:salam2:

A Muslim man is allowed to marry a non muslim woman provided she's one of the People of the Book ( Christians or Jews ) and she must be a chaste, not an immoral woman.
As for Muslim women, they are not allowed by any means to marry a non muslim, as Islam should prevail, not be prevailed over. Besides,It is known that the man is the stronger party and the one who dominates the lives of the family, his wife and children. So it is not wise for a Muslim woman to marry a non muslim who will dominate her life and the life of her children, the consequences of which will be very serious, as there is the possibility that he may divert her from her religion and raise the children in his own religion.

And Allaah knows best.


Adapted from Islam Q&A

 

[malickabrother]

:salam2: brothers,May ALLAH reward reward you for your responses?
I'm not planning to get married but just wanna raised up this question lol
Can I say I don't wanna marry non-muslims girls because I fear I might pass away before my kids become mature and they might end up being non-muslims?

 

[revert-sister]

This is a personal belief not a religious one, I feel if a man or a women wants to marry someone be they any religion they should be allowed. I converted so i am a lucky girl i can be with the guy i love because his parents are more lenient towards him, but if it were another man, i would be heartbroken right now. Which I think is unfair.
Just because you marry someone doesn’t stop you being a certain religion, be it Muslim or Jewish etc. you can still be religious.

But then a religious side of me believes that maybe Muslims/reverts should only marry Muslims and stick to what is right! - I don’t know.

i just think what I would be like to be torn away from my love of my life for being white and catholic (even though I am a convert now) if i hadn’t converted. It kind of saddens me.

 

[Mrmuslim]

This is a personal belief not a religious one, I feel if a man or a women wants to marry someone be they any religion they should be allowed. I converted so i am a lucky girl i can be with the guy i love because his parents are more lenient towards him, but if it were another man, i would be heartbroken right now. Which I think is unfair.
Just because you marry someone doesn’t stop you being a certain religion, be it Muslim or Jewish etc. you can still be religious.

But then a religious side of me believes that maybe Muslims/reverts should only marry Muslims and stick to what is right! - I don’t know.

i just think what I would be like to be torn away from my love of my life for being white and catholic (even though I am a convert now) if i hadn’t converted. It kind of saddens me.

salaam alikom sister,

The ruling on the issue is not what the person wants, its not up to him/her we should follow what Allah told us to do, if it was up to human being he/she would like to have everything they wish for that why Islam put limits and rulling on thing. Brother Mabsoot put the link where it was discussed before.

Wa salaam alikom

 

[Suhaila1]

Mabsoot, I don't know what kind of people you hang out with, but a majority of the friends I have that have mothers that are either not a Muslim now or weren't a Muslim at the time they got married have great families.

My sister in law was Christian when she married my brother, and is now one of the most religious people I have ever met, and my best friend's mother converted from Mormonism after getting married too.

I know a lot of families where the man married a non-Muslim, and not one of these families have any apparent marital problems. (Like, seriously, half the people I know have or had inter-religious families for some reason.) And yet, at the same time, I know of plenty 100% Muslim marriages that end in divorce.

So, based on my experience, and the fact that Islam clearly permits these kinds of marriages, I don't understand why you're so against it.

 

[revert-sister]

thank you suhaila1 thats a great point!

 

[yusuf_pal]

Marrying women from the People of the Book

by brother Dr Zakir Naik

Question: Can a Muslim man marry a Christian or a Jew? Please explain.


It is permissible for a Muslim man to marry a woman from the People of the Book (i.e. the Jews and the Christians), only if they fulfill certain criteria. Allah (swt) says:

“And (Lawful in marriage are) chaste women from among the believers and chaste women from among those who were given the Scripture before you…”

[Surah Al-Maidah 5:5]


Based on the above verse, most of the scholars say that a Muslim man can marry any woman who is a Jew or a Christian. On the other hand, if we read the Qur’an as a whole, Allah (swt) also says that Muslims are not allowed to marry Mushriks i.e. people who associate partners with Allah (swt).

“And do not marry Mushrik (polytheistic) women until they believe. And a believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you.”

[Surah Al-Baqarah 2:221]


Moreover, we find that the Jews and the Christians too associate partners with Allah (swt). Says Allah (swt) in the Glorious Qur’an:

“They (Jews and the Christians) have taken their scholars and monks as lords besides Allah, and (also) the Messiah, the son of Mary. And they were not commanded except to worship one God; there is no deity except Him. Exalted is He above whatever they associate with Him.” [Surah At-Tawbah 9:31]


The Christians, who claim that Jesus (pbuh) is God as well as the Son of God, insist on the supposed divinity of Jesus (pbuh) and worship him as such.

“They have certainly disbelieved who say, “Allah is the Messiah, the son of Mary” while the Messiah has said, “O children of Israel, worship Allah, my Lord and your Lord.” Indeed he who associates other with Allah – Allah has forbidden him paradise and his refuge is the fire. And there are not for the wrongdoers any helpers.” [Surah Al-Maidah 5:72]


From the above-mentioned verses and many such verses of the Qur'an, it is very clear that almost all the present day Jews and the Christians are committing shirk by joining partners with Allah (swt).


Apparently, it appears to be a “contradiction” in the Qur’an, since at one place Allah (swt) forbids Muslims from marrying Mushriks, whereas at another place He allows Muslim men to marry women from the Jews and the Christians, most of who as per the Qur'anic narrations are Mushriks too i.e. those who associate partners with Allah (swt).


In another verse of the Glorious Qur’an, Allah (swt) conciliates all the above verses by informing us that among the Jews and the Christians there are also people who are true believers i.e. they believe in only one God and do not associate partners with Allah (swt). It says,

“Among them (Jews and the Christians) are believers but most of them are defiantly disobedient.” [Surah Ali Imran 3:110]


Therefore according to me, Muslim men are permitted to marry only those women from the People of the Book (i.e. the Jews and the Christians) who are chaste as well as who do not commit shirk i.e. those who do not believe in trinity and Jesus’ (pbuh) divinity. And Allah Knows the Best.

Source

ISLAMIC RESEARCH FOUNDATION

 

[malickabrother]

:salam2: brothers and sisters I appreciate your answers May ALLAH reward you all?Ameen,but most of you are missing out my point,the thing is even though islam allows muslim man to marry a non-muslim woman I personnaly fear that I might pass away before my kids recognize my religion(islam) and I might not get the chance to lead my wife in the right path(Islam) by the will of ALLAH so this might result by my kids being non-muslims.
We all know that evry parent has responsiblities upon his children on the day of judgment.

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam brother,

Then my advice to you would be to marry a Muslim woman, and a pious one at that. The fact of the matter is that Muslim men are permitted to marry women of the book, we cannot make it untrue. Every situation is unique. I now a Muslim man married to a Jewish woman, their children are being reaised as Muslims and she stated they will continue to be raised within Islam if anything ever happened to their father.

However if this is a fear that whomever you marry would not continue to raise the child within Islam then I simply would not marry the person. Not easy but there you have it.

Wasalaam

~Sarah

 

[yusuf_pal]

Salaam

The condition is that he should be in a position where he is not afraid that his child will be forced into kufr.

Even though we say that it is permissible to marry a kitaabi woman, it is not encouraged and we do not advise it, because of the negative consequences that result from that. The wise Muslim should choose the best woman to bear his children and think in the long term about his children and their religious upbringing. He should not let his desire or worldly interests or transient outward beauty blind him to reality; true beauty is the beauty of religious commitment and good morals.

He should realize that if he forsakes these type of women for the sake of that which is better for his religious commitment and that of his children, Allaah will compensate him with something better, because “Whoever gives up something for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better than that", as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us, the one who speaks the truth and does not speak of his own whims and desires. Allaah is the source of strength and the One Who guides to the Straight Path.

 

[Tru3m0sl3m]

I know of plenty 100% Muslim marriages that end in divorce.

Assalamu 'alaykum sister we cannot blame the deen for what those people do .. Those 100% muslim marriages resulting in divorce might be because of their own DEEDS, whatever they might have done that resulted in marriage. And also we don't go by experience but what the Qur'an and Sunnah says.. :salam2:

 

[sidnee]

I understand the concern for muslims that wish to marry outside of Islam, but as a person (and more importantly a women) who is new to the world of Islam and its teaching, it seems to me that God would wish that his people take the challenges of marrying outside of their religion. I mean if their faith is strong and they have their hearts in God then doesnt it make sense to follow your heart and marry their true love and help lead them into a life of faith. Isnt that what Islam is all about? Leading humanity into a new era of faith and love in God? And what better oppertunity to do that than in the amazing concept of marriage?

As a women and hopefully one day a wife, I don't think that in anyway will the religion of my husband or his lack of religion tarnish the relationship I strive to have with God. I mean, I grew up an a loving but Agnostic home and even though I knew with every atom in my body that God exist...that he is the reason behind everything... and though I am still trying to figure out what that means exactly <and how that will shape my religious beliefs> that is a truth that can not be erased from my heart...

I believe that if I do find my place in Islam and later on find that my heart (not my soul) belongs to someone who is not yet the faith of Islam that I will not only openly accept that challenge before me but that it will be my duty as a Muslim women and a daughter of God to do so. That is afterall what life is about isn't it....finding understanding through challenge...Isn't that what God wants from us.

...To ask the hard questions...make the hard choices...take the longer route...isn't that what will make us better people and better servants to Him.

Yes,as a woman, I am emotional, passionate, and sometimes "naive" to the world. But I don't think any of these traits are bad things. I still believe in the goodness and the success of humanity. I believe in human action and compassion and I believe < and I hope that I am right> that my heart is big enough and my mind is patient enough to help lead people to a better life through my example. This is not to say that I am perfect because I most certaintly am not! I've made mistakes like the rest of the world..maybe even more! But I love God and I am on a journey to learn more about Him and live in his example as much as I can...<and if it be Islam>...if my future love happens to be "further" down the path of his journey then me...then that is God's will. Who am I to turn Him away and retake my love from him? What will that say about my own faith in God?

Marriage I think, in the best of circumstances is a challenge...but that is what makes it worth fighting for..that is what I think makes it so special...two people sharing their successes and hardships in life during this brief time we have here on Earth in front of the eyes of God...no other worldy relationship can compare.

What not but marriage, is so complex, so amazing, so risky, yet worth fighting for; to allow two people to continue their journey in finding the truth in God?...

 

[revert-sister]

inter religion marriage CAN work!

That's a good point, sister, but wouldn't you say that the odds favor Muslim couples for successful marriage? We know that a marriage has a good chance of success if the couple love each other and are compatible, so let's cast these factors aside for comparison and then examine the religion factor. A good Muslim wife will help the faith of her husband and properly raise their children to be good Muslims. This is less likely to happen if she was not Muslim or if she was not a good Muslim, wouldn't you agree? What are the odds of a Muslim couple raising non-Muslim children compared to Muslim-Christian couples for example?

The fact that Islam allows something doesn't necessarily mean it's good. It may mean it's necessary or practical. Divorce is a perfect example. Success stories of Muslim-Christian marriages is proof that it can work; it doesn't prove it's a good idea.

Muslim divorces are covered up and not spoke about much but it’s happening more and more now a days, it angers me to think that we can be so small minded, as I was once “another culture” and so was many others on here. Inter racial and religions work, because they are not only based on the religion but on other things, and I can’t specifically say why it does work but it does.
Muslims hide the fact that there children divorce because it brings shame on the family etc but when a white women and Muslim marry they don’t care what family think and live their lives.
It use to work Muslim marry Muslim because they were scared of the family and girls were brought over from Pakistan and dint know how to speak out, but know girls are westernised and don’t care and will just walk out on their husbands because of the in-laws.
It has changed, so I think it’s based on the person not the region.

Weather its allowed or not I cant say!

Muslims stop being small minded.
An inter racial marriage can work just as well as same race marriage!

May allah bless all of you

Revert – Sister
~Yvette~

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam,

We are not talking about interracial marriage here, we are talking about marrying someone outside Islam. Islam teaches that race does not matter, only piety. But marrying someone outside Islam is very serious and extremely delicate.

The fact of the matter is, Muslim women are not permitted to marry non-Muslims, this is in the Qu'ran and therefore not debatable. You can spread dawah without putting your future offspring at risk for being raised outside the one True religion. Divorce rates are climbing among Muslims because people are no longer marrying for their religion but for "love." Marrying for love is a relatively new idea, until this last century almost all marriages were arranged...even in the West. People married because they wanted to have families and work together to form a future for themselves. Now the only thing people think about is "love."

Don't get me wrong, love is a wonderful reason to get married but too often the couple is experiencing "eros" love and not the deep, true love a couple developes after years of marriage. My grandparents were arranged and barely knew each other the day of their wedding. Mashallah they were married 50 years when my grandmother died and my grandfather stated they were madly in love during their marriage. (my family is orthodox jew) But the reasons behind their marriage was for children, religion, and having a companion to go through life with...not because they were "in love."

Muslim men are permitted to marry Jews, Christians and Muslims. There are rules and rights a woman has within a marriage to a Muslim. If a Muslim woman marries a non-Muslim man, what obligations does he have towards his Muslim wife? We can't enforce her rights if hs is non-Muslim. Whereas if a Muslim man oversteps his bounds then he can be called back into place with the Qu'ran and Hadith. It is a protection to women that Allah swt decreed that only a Muslim man is good enough for her.

Wasalaam

~Sarah

 

[ShyHijabi]

Malickabrother, it is true that no one is allowed to do 'Azl too many times, if you don't want a child then Vasektomi is allowed because it is not an abstract killing, different from 'Azl where we pulled out our genitals out before it ejaculated because of our fear of having children, now this is "abstract killing" said Rasulullah.

Salaam brother,
Actually permenant sterilzation is not permissible in Islam simply to prevent having more children.

Praise be to Allaah.

We will quote to you below a statement issued by the Fiqh Council (al-Majma’ al-Fiqhi) with regard to family planning:

The meeting of the Fiqh Council held during its fifth conference in Kuwait 1-6 Jumaada al-Aakhir 1409 AH (10-15 December 1988) – after studying the research presented by members and experts on the subject of family planning, and listening to the debate that took place on this topic, and based on the fact that one of the objectives of marriage according to Islamic sharee’ah is to reproduce and preserve the human race, and that it is not permissible to undermine this objective, because undermining it goes against the texts and teachings of sharee’ah, which call for having many children, protecting them and taking care of them, because producing and caring for offspring is one of the five kulliyaat (holistic principles) which sharee’ah came to take care of – issued the following resolutions:

1 – It is not permissible to issue laws that limit the freedom of couples to have children.

2 – It is haraam to remove the ability of men and women to have children, which is known as sterilization, so long as there is no need to do so according to shar’i principles.

3 – It is permissible to use temporary means of contraception in order to increase the gaps between pregnancies, or to stop them for a limited period of time, if there is a valid shar’i reason for doing so, based on the couple’s estimation and with mutual consultation and agreement, subject to the condition that this does not result in harm and that the means is acceptable according to sharee’ah and will not damage any existing pregnancy.

And Allaah knows best.

Resolution no. 38 (1/5), re: Family planning.

See Majallat al-Majma’, vol. 1, p. 73)

For more information see Question no. 7205


Islam Q&A

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/32479/sterilization

However asl is completely permissible if both partners agree to it.

Wasalaam

~Sarah

 

[malickabrother]

Malickabrother, it is true that no one is allowed to do 'Azl too many times, if you don't want a child then Vasektomi is allowed because it is not an abstract killing, different from 'Azl where we pulled out our genitals out before it ejaculated because of our fear of having children, now this is "abstract killing" said Rasulullah.

I have seen Shy Hijabi's post, Rasulullah said "Women are married because of 4 things... choose those who are good in Din."
Salafush Shalih said "Choose a pious woman or your hands will be dusty."

Islam doesn't force Din to Kafirun though, yo wanna know the truth? Rasulullah said "The diyat for Kafir Dzimmi is a half of diyat for Muslim." (Al Misykah (3496), Shahih Al Jami' (3395).

Islam doesn't put burden on wife to pay the diyat of husband "Ad diyaatul aaqilati, wa laa taritsul mar'atu min diyaati zaujihaa syai'an..." (Shahih Sunan Abu Daud 2540).

meaning: "Diyat is for the family, and a wife doesn't being ask to pay the diyat of husband."

Diyat for killing people is 100 camels or 100 cows.


Assalamu'alaikum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh.

:salam2: brother,I'm not saying I don't want kids, I'm saying I fear if I marry a non-muslim girl and have kids,I might pass away before they recognize Islam and might end up being non-muslims as well.

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam,

I am sorry brother but you are wrong. Permanent sterilization is absolutely forbidden if there is no need. The fatwa is clear on this. The daleel is sound and speaks of not preventing the increased numbers of Muslims due to fear of poverty. (this is why it was forbidden to kill a child even if you feared they woudl starve to death) The scholars of the ummah are in agreement on this.

As far as azl goes:

With regard to ‘azl (coitus interruptus), or withdrawing during intercourse, the correct scholarly view is that there is nothing wrong with it, because of the hadeeth of Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him): “We used to practise ‘azl at the time when the Qur’aan was being revealed” – i.e., at the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). If that action had been haraam, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would have forbidden it. But the scholars say that one should not engage in ‘azl with a free woman except with her permission, because she has the right to have children. Moreover, withdrawing without her permission diminishes her pleasure, because the woman’s pleasure can only be completed after ejaculation. So not asking her permission causes her to lose out on pleasure and on the possibility of having children. Hence we state the condition that this may only be done with her permission.

From Fataawa al-Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Uthaymeen.

From Fataawa Islamiyyah, vol. 3, p. 190.

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/11885/birth%20control

Asl is not haraam or makrooh of both partners agree to it. The daleel is clear on this. Please provide links to your daleel before declaring something forbidden or discouraged. I am very versed on this particular fiqh since I plan on going into fertility medicine when I get my MD.

But as the brother stated, this doesn't even address his question so I think we should drop it.

Wasalaam

~Sarah

 

[Tru3m0sl3m]

So to Malickabrother, marry quickly and teach your children since they are 5 years old, you know the curriculum of Salafiyyah. At kindergarden they are told to memorise 200 Mufradat of Arabic, at elementary school: memorise 2 Juz of Al Qur'an, at junior high school: 5 juz of Al Qur'an, at senior high school: 5 juz of Al Qur'an, at University: 7 Juz of Al Qur'an.

Assalamu'alaikum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh. Nice advice i mean good advice .btw brother Abdul Musa'ir where are you from?. jazakallahu khairn