help

[muslimah 2]

hi this is going to sound silly but i am just fuming today just been to my dads house and he just keeps saying nasty stuff to my daughter like she is not very pretty she doesnt take after you meaning me oh look at her teeth they are not straight and so on the list can go on he is a loving grandad with the others but he just seems to find so much wrong with her okay she is not the most beautiful kid ever but she is my little girl and i love her to bits and he says this all the time right in front of her she is only 7 dnt no what to do it hurts me and i think she is cliking on now

 

[islamisthesolution]

hi this is going to sound silly but i am just fuming today just been to my dads house and he just keeps saying nasty stuff to my daughter like she is not very pretty she doesnt take after you meaning me oh look at her teeth they are not straight and so on the list can go on he is a loving grandad with the others but he just seems to find so much wrong with her okay she is not the most beautiful kid ever but she is my little girl and i love her to bits and he says this all the time right in front of her she is only 7 dnt no what to do it hurts me and i think she is cliking on now

:salam2:

really frustrating reading your thread and how dads can be cruel . but i have to tell you this dont care about what he thinks you have to love your daughter first and most take really good care of her and just dont let him hurt her and dont let her hear what he says .

i am sorry to say this but she is just a little girl he should be really tender as a father and as agrandpa .

:salam2:

 

[Nurain]

Salam sis

SubhanAllaah have never experienced this situation before (just as well, I do not have a daughter). I'm sure your dad's a nice guy but it is pretty nasty of him to make such comments.

Hmmmmm. Have you spoken to him in private about it? Tell him kindly, look pop this is my daughter and just because she is not much on the outside it does not mean she is not beautiful inside and I shall teach her for what she lacks.

If your dad persists, perhaps you could refute each time he says things in front of your daughter, you can go like, "Of course not. You must be kidding. She is the most beautiful baby girl!" or such. In sha Allaah

By the way. I am sure you have a beautiful daughter. Hope she takes after a concern and caring mother like you.

 

[Nurain]

I have gotten many snide comments throughout my life and it is dampening on the self-esteem, sis. I hope you can make this better now, before the girl grows up to believe in these words being said against her. It does things to one's confidence. I will make du'ah for your baby girl in sha Allaah. We just want her healthy on the mental and physical aspects here

 

[slaveofAllah88]

aslam o alikum
this is really important the child can be very impressionable sister talk to ur dad about it thats not polite to say that , Allah (swt) blessed you with a beatiful daughter and all children are blessing of Allah (swt) he should treat her equally

 

[muslimah 2]

thanks for all ur replies i freel much better today and glad for this place where i can talk about stuff otherwise dnt no whwre i would talk about such stuff my dad is quite a loving dad but tends to have his moments he has never talked like this about anyone before so anyway to be honest my daughter is mashallah quite a sweet child and a pretty little girl just not soo beautifull or drop dead gorgeuos like he wants her to be maybe i dnt know i do love himn but he can sound cruel sometimes i cant talk to him about it we are brought up not to answer back no matter what but maybe just stay away will help id hate to argue with him he is my dad and he is quite old too i just wanted to let it out bvadly yesterday cos i was sooo angry at him thanks for listening and keep us in your prayers all of you

 

[islamisthesolution]

thanks for all ur replies i freel much better today and glad for this place where i can talk about stuff otherwise dnt no whwre i would talk about such stuff my dad is quite a loving dad but tends to have his moments he has never talked like this about anyone before so anyway to be honest my daughter is mashallah quite a sweet child and a pretty little girl just not soo beautifull or drop dead gorgeuos like he wants her to be maybe i dnt know i do love himn but he can sound cruel sometimes i cant talk to him about it we are brought up not to answer back no matter what but maybe just stay away will help id hate to argue with him he is my dad and he is quite old too i just wanted to let it out bvadly yesterday cos i was sooo angry at him thanks for listening and keep us in your prayers all of you

:salam2:

i am sure that your child is beautiful because there isnt achild a child who isnt wonderful because i believe thay are all wondrful .

about your father as you said he is kind may be isnt aware that you get annoyed with his words so you shold talk to him but in a way that doesnt hurt him telling him what you really feel and after all he is your father and of course he wants the best for you .

may Allah reward you with jannat al ferdous

 

[PARVEZ SHAHIDI]

hi this is going to sound silly but i am just fuming today just been to my dads house and he just keeps saying nasty stuff to my daughter like she is not very pretty she doesnt take after you meaning me oh look at her teeth they are not straight and so on the list can go on he is a loving grandad with the others but he just seems to find so much wrong with her okay she is not the most beautiful kid ever but she is my little girl and i love her to bits and he says this all the time right in front of her she is only 7 dnt no what to do it hurts me and i think she is cliking on now

Sister please tell your daughter that we, every body here at TTI, love her very much and Insha-Allah she will make make us very proud when she will grow up by becoming a doctor or a engineer or a scientist.

 

[muslimah 2]

mashallah thanku brother for ur kind words and everyone else who answered to this post i was actually at my dad s house today and as soon as we walked in he said hello little goofy one to my daughter and all the time that i was there he was talking in a really loving manner to my other children but ignoring her it hurt so much so i have decided the best thing to do is probably not go there too often and not take the kids around much because i just dont feel comfy ther anymore coz she is such a bright confident little girl i dnt want her to lose her confidence because of him please keep my family in your prayrs and do dua for me to be able to bring my children up in the right way

 

[massi]

:salam2:
you can put your daughter's pic :lol:

 

[muslimah 2]

is that supposed to be funny sister

 

[nadirah79]

salamz

That is really cruel, your little girl is 7 but she ent silly so she must be taking it to heart, you should speak to your dad though, dont be disrespectful and maybe you should not see him as much if he continues with the insults towards your daughter because her feelings are being damaged. She will loose her confidence if he keeps saying those nasty things. beauty is in the eye of the beholder and shes only 7!!. Inshallah allah will pave the way for you and your daughter.

wsalam *!*!*!

 

[stiks]

:salam2:
you can put your daughter's pic :lol:

:salam2:

Whey!

sister muslima 2, either talk to him or your mum(to talk to him) or stay away like you said, may Allah make things easy for you.

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam,

Man what a toxic way to behave towards an innocent child! I know we must be respectful towards our elders but we also have a HUGE obligation to protect our children from needless pain and cruelty. I would point-blank tell my father that his words are unacceptable and if he cannot change his behavior then he would lose his visitation priveledges to his grandchild.


I am truly flaming angry at the thought of a full grown man bullying a defenseless child in this manner. What is wrong with him? Sister, you are your child's main defender, she depends on you to put a shield between her and toxic people. Do your job as a mother and don't allow your father to treat her this way.

Wasalam

 

[massi]

is that supposed to be funny sister

I'm a brother ;
I just get curious ,sorry though
besides I know that the olders act as children (jealousy) like my dad get jealous when he see me sitting with my mom :lol: so don't worry so much

 

[muslimah 2]

:yes sister i had not thought about telling my husband before but i could not take it anymore so i told him he is sooo furious about it and said he is going to talk to him about itand as i said before my daughter is actually quite a pretty girl mashallh just not up to my dad s standards i think he is acting this way cos of jealousy too because he hates the way im bringing her up me and my husband have decided to bring our kids up equally and in a more islamic way and although he is a born muslim he is more into culture and so thinks differently and thinks its silly that we try to limit their tv time or the people they hang about with so my husband thinks this is his way of getting back at us he thinks my husband has a lot to do with it anyway thats another story but as i said my husband is going to talk to him about it that should put a stop to it and we have decided no more trips to grandad s unless it is really necessery so the less i see him the b etter it shall be for my family he even had a problenm with me wearing a hijab and i was not strong enough so i took it off and i so regret it now thing is he can be loving too so it is soo confusing