Asslaam-u-Aliakum
Please sister Asja be patience, it may be shaitan whispering you.
"The only saying of the faithful believers, when they are called to Allah (His Words, the Qur'an) and His Messenger, to judge between them, is that they say: "We hear and we obey." And such are the successful (who will live forever in Paradise). And whosoever obeys Allah and His Messenger, fears Allah, and keeps his duty (to Him), such are the successful." [Annoor 51-52]
"And whatsoever the Messenger gives you, take it; and whatsoever he forbids you, abstain (from it). And fear Allah; verily, Allah is Severe in punishment." [Al-Hashr 07]
"It is not fitting for a Believer, man or woman, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Messenger, to have any option about their decision: if anyone disobeys Allah and His Messenger he is indeed on a clearly wrong Path." (Al-Ahzaab 36)
May Allah give you patience.Ameen