Asja
Pearl of Islaam
I will keep your LOVE like a CHALLANGE to all TIMES...
It was than when I have challanged time for you.........................
Still the memory on that day is alive and still I am shivering like a leaf on the branch while I am looking in you and living everything once again. Still my tears are hot and may face is still burning, legs knees becouse of the fear of the unknown streets of my destiny. Did I stoped to live on that day and now it only seems that I am living again, or I was born again to live and feel everything from the begining.
I watch you while you sit , you are so quiet, and you are not afraid or the fear you were hiding. I was looking at you without stoping, to remember your face, I am afraid this is the last time and I pray to Allah that it is not.
I pray to Allah it is not, but I am still afraid and may heart is breaking into pieces.
You watch in me, and I am hiding my look from you, while I am wiping my tears with trembeling hand, but they are not stoping neiher for one moment and mine and yours destiny they are writing.
We are watching each others and saying no words, they are too heavy to be said, my throat is tightening and a voice I have lost it long time ago. It is very quiet and everyones voice can be heared, some strange silence, as it is not the last time that we are looking in eachothers, with look caressing and with heart loving. „I love you, everything mine is telling, but still like nothing I am saying. I am asking you:“Do you know how much my heart loves you“, but you are being quiet and you are saying nothing. Pain I can feel that pain again, it is the same like that day.
Your blue eyes look at me. I still remember how I would immerse in them to find the pearls. They look at me, and it seems that they are talking to me but I can not hear them. „Everything will be good, I was telling you, you need to have faith“, I was telling you to have faith and mine was not strong enough. „I will come again, I told you“, „I will waith for you“ you told me, „but do not hurry, walk slowely that you do not get tired, path that leads to me is very long and hard“.I am listening you carefully, my eyes are following every your move, and I am loosing myselfe like never before.
I am giving you my hands, and yours are warm, and they are holding me firmly, like it is the last time. I walked toward doors, and then I stoped again, only that I see you one time more. Only to hold you in my arms atleast for little more, only..and than I will go.
I am walking in a hurry now like I am runing from myselfe. „Have mercy on me ya Allah, heart repeats with shame, it is hard for me to leave her, how I will when I love her“.
Night is comeing down slowely, bright and decorated with stars. I finally stoped next to the clean river, to reflect myselfe in her, to look in the eyes of the truth. I have fallen on the ground, some strange feeling overtaken my heart and I fell asleap. Was it becouse I was tired or becouse I was afraid to look in the eyes of the truth.
New day, new down, brighter than the night,fresher, everything is born again and me with them.
I wanted to come to you again, but the path was to long for me to come now. You said“ walk slowely that you do not get tired, path that leads to me is very long and hard“.
I still remember that day and your eyes looking me with fear. Telling me the story of your life, how much your pain hurts me and it will never stop.
I am looking again in that same river, blue like your eyes, to immerse in them once again, to find you the pearl of my heart.
I would give everything to have you with me once again .........
Written by; Asja
