faaraa
Nothing but Muslimah
One day Little Johnny says to his father:
I want to get married.
Father: Oh, so do you have someone special in your mind?
Johnny: Yes , Grandma.
Father: What? There is a problem now, you want to marry my mother?
Johnny: Why not? You married my mother.
.........................................
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
.........................................
Little Johnny's next door neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears. When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby.
Little Johnny's parents were very afraid their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby. So, Little Johnny's dad had a long talk with Little Johnny before going to the neighbors.
He said, "Now, son...that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears, or I'm really going to spank you when we get back home.""I promise not to mention his ears at all," said Little Johnny.
At the neighbor's home, Little Johnny leaned over the crib and touched the baby's hand. He looked at its mother and said, "Oh, what a beautiful little baby!" The mother said, "Thank you very much, Little Johnny." He then said, "This baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Why... just look at his pretty little eyes. Did his doctor say he can see good?"
The Mother said, "Why, yes... his doctor said he has 20/20 vision."
Little Johnny said, "Well, it's a damn good thing, cause he sure as hell can't wear glasses!"
.........................................
Teacher: "Johnny, give me a sentence starting with 'I'"
Little Johnny: "I is..."
Teacher: "No, Little Johnny. Always say 'I am.'"
Little Johnny: "All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
.........................................
Little Johnny's class were on an outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, of the ten most wanted men, tacked to a bulletin board. On the way out of the police station Little Johnny said to the officer, "it was so nice of you to put my daddy's picture up there."
.........................................
"Hey Mom," asked Little Johnny, "Can you give me $20?"
"Certainly not."
"If you do," he went on, "I'll tell you what Dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop."
His mother's ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. "Well? What did he say?"
"He said, 'Hey Maria, could you make sure I've got clean socks tomorrow."
............................................
TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of " COINCIDENCE?"
Little Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day."
............................................
TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
Little Johnny : "HIJKLMNO"!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
Little Johnny : Yesterday you said it's H to O !
************ *****
TEACHER : Little Johnny, go to the map and find North America.
Little Johnny : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Little Johnny!
************ *****
TEACHER : Little Johnny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
Little Johnny : "K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
Little Johnny : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
************ *****
TEACHER : Little Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I".
Little Johnny : I is...
TEACHER : No, Little Johnny. Always say, "I am."
Little Johnny : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
************ *****
TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
Little Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"
************ *****
Little Johnny : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
Little Johnny: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
************ *****
TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots !
Little Johnny: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.
************ *****
TEACHER : Now, Little Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?
Little Johnny: No sir, I don't have to , my mom is a good cook.
************ *****
TEACHER : Little Johnny, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as yourbrother's. Did you copy his ?
Little Johnny: No, teacher, it's the same dog !
************ ****
TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Little Johnny: A teacher
I want to get married.
Father: Oh, so do you have someone special in your mind?
Johnny: Yes , Grandma.
Father: What? There is a problem now, you want to marry my mother?
Johnny: Why not? You married my mother.
.........................................
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
.........................................
Little Johnny's next door neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears. When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby.
Little Johnny's parents were very afraid their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby. So, Little Johnny's dad had a long talk with Little Johnny before going to the neighbors.
He said, "Now, son...that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears, or I'm really going to spank you when we get back home.""I promise not to mention his ears at all," said Little Johnny.
At the neighbor's home, Little Johnny leaned over the crib and touched the baby's hand. He looked at its mother and said, "Oh, what a beautiful little baby!" The mother said, "Thank you very much, Little Johnny." He then said, "This baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Why... just look at his pretty little eyes. Did his doctor say he can see good?"
The Mother said, "Why, yes... his doctor said he has 20/20 vision."
Little Johnny said, "Well, it's a damn good thing, cause he sure as hell can't wear glasses!"
.........................................
Teacher: "Johnny, give me a sentence starting with 'I'"
Little Johnny: "I is..."
Teacher: "No, Little Johnny. Always say 'I am.'"
Little Johnny: "All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
.........................................
Little Johnny's class were on an outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, of the ten most wanted men, tacked to a bulletin board. On the way out of the police station Little Johnny said to the officer, "it was so nice of you to put my daddy's picture up there."
.........................................
"Hey Mom," asked Little Johnny, "Can you give me $20?"
"Certainly not."
"If you do," he went on, "I'll tell you what Dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop."
His mother's ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. "Well? What did he say?"
"He said, 'Hey Maria, could you make sure I've got clean socks tomorrow."
............................................
TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of " COINCIDENCE?"
Little Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day."
............................................
TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
Little Johnny : "HIJKLMNO"!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
Little Johnny : Yesterday you said it's H to O !
************ *****
TEACHER : Little Johnny, go to the map and find North America.
Little Johnny : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Little Johnny!
************ *****
TEACHER : Little Johnny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
Little Johnny : "K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
Little Johnny : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
************ *****
TEACHER : Little Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I".
Little Johnny : I is...
TEACHER : No, Little Johnny. Always say, "I am."
Little Johnny : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
************ *****
TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
Little Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"
************ *****
Little Johnny : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
Little Johnny: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
************ *****
TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots !
Little Johnny: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.
************ *****
TEACHER : Now, Little Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?
Little Johnny: No sir, I don't have to , my mom is a good cook.
************ *****
TEACHER : Little Johnny, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as yourbrother's. Did you copy his ?
Little Johnny: No, teacher, it's the same dog !
************ ****
TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Little Johnny: A teacher
:holaaa:
