I need advice on Hijab..imp!!!

[Ammunti]

Assalamu Alaikum....

a cousin of mine who has worn the hijab since 6th grade untill 10th grade is seriously consideriing quiting wearing the hijab for the remainder of her highschool years or more. She has told me that she has started wearing the hijab becuase other relatives such as me did and she didnt really wear it out of conviction but more to please or to fit in. but now that she has reached highschool she feels like she does not want to wear it anymore. she states that she knows herself, her religion, and the imp of hijab but she still feels like she is young and she wants to wear it when she is older and definetly before she is married. she has spoken with her mother who has adviced her that she cannot force her into wearin the hijab and that she should only wear it 4 Allah and not for anyone else. I also adviced her the same but i tried to remind her of the importance of wearing the hijab and the effects of not wearing one during highschool which is the time of great temptation. i am very worried about her. i asked her what her reason was 4 not wearing the hijab anymore and she said she luks at her friends and she envies not having the chance to dress up and do her hair like they do and that she is still a girl. i told her that life is supposed to be a struggle especially for muslims but she wants to have her fun before the struggle. i tried to advice her further but she has made up her mind and is going to stop wearing the hijab. i told her that i will pray 4 her and i respect her personal decision but i do not agree with it..but in the end it is her choice.


this is somthing i thought would never happen to a relative this close to me. I have a few relatives my age who also dont wear the hijab and have never in their lives and some who have recently started. but this situation is a first. all i can do is put my trust in Allah and pray for her.:tti_sister:

can some1 advice me with this situation.

 

[Nazihah]

Assalamu' alaikum

Dear Sister,

You mention that your cousin understand the importance of hijab. But what will I do if I'm in your place. Since she knows the importance of it, you should just inform her that life is short. We will never know if we can still live in the next ten years. Our life in this world could even end in the next few seconds. We won't know coz Allah (s.w.t) knows best. But remember when advicing her on this, do it with a soft tone, in a friendly manner (if you know what I mean), coz people will get all work out if we talk about death that it can happen anytime (I've been thro that).

I know that your cousin understand the importance of hijab, but I'll just paste the qn and answ here which i got from islamqa website.


Question:
why do we cover our hair and what happens if you do or if you dont?

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

Women cover their hair because Allaah has commanded them to do so, and it is not permissible for them to go against what He says and disobey His command. Allaah has only commanded them to do this because there is great wisdom in it. Part of that wisdom is that it protects a woman’s honour from the “human wolves” who are looking for easy prey to attack and devour, and a morsel cannot be eaten unless it is prepared and ready – which is what we see in those woman who make a display of themselves, who by their appearance are calling those wolves to come and take whatever they want!

Confirmation of this is to be found in the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):

“… That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed…” [al-Ahzaab 33:59]. If a woman covers herself, then immoral and corrupt men will know that this is not part of their prey, thus Allaah will protect them and take care of them.

Allaah and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) have issued a stern warning to women who make a display of themselves. An example of this is:

Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are two types of the people of Hell whom I have not seen: a people with whips like the tails of cattle, with which they beat the people, and women who are clothed but naked, walking with an enticing gait and with their heads looking like the humps of camels, leaning to one side. They will not enter Paradise and will not even smell its fragrance, although its fragrance can be detected from such and such a distance.”

(Narrated by Muslim, 2128).

A woman [or a man] should not try to comprehend Islamic rulings with her reason – which is unable to encompass the wisdom of sharee’ah. She should know that whatever Allaah has enjoined upon her contains nothing but goodness and happiness for her, her family and society as a whole. It is known that a woman’s uncovering her hair makes her more attractive to men, which could lead to them forming hopes about her and committing immoral actions. Islam wants society to be clean, with no provocation of desires, outrage or uncovering of women’s charms – which include their hair – which can lead to others being tempted by her and which opens the door to evil and its people.

We need to point out again that Islam means submitting to Allaah. The believer follows the command of Allaah even if he does not know the wisdom behind it or he does not find anything to convince his reason of it, because his obedience of his Lord and his submission to His command take priority over all other things, and worship is based on obedience and submission.

We ask Allaah to show us the truth and help us to follow it, and to show us falsehood and help us to avoid it.

And Allaah knows best.

Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Source: http://www.islamqa.com/index.php?ln=eng&ds=qa&QR=6244

I hope this help.

Wasalam.

<Nazihah>

 

[sugarbb]

Assalammualaikum ,

i am sorry to hear that about your cousin. Conviction is iman. You are convinced, you do it, no 'buts'. Like you said, she is not convince. Expose her to more literature about Islam, Iman, introduce her to good websites, of course TTI is one of them, quranexplorer.com (Quran recitation with translations), maybe from there, when she read, she hears, she will come to realize that we have to work towards jannah, not away from it. The reward in the hereafter is without a doubt million times better than in this world. If she fear Allah, she will follow. It has to come from inside, her iman.
Waalahualam.:tti_sister:

 

[Bluegazer]

Assalamu Alaikum sister Ammunti,


I'd like to mention two points:


First Point

The religious opinion fatwa of Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid -posted by sister Nazihah- is an excellent starting point to convince your cousin.


Second Point

You mentioned the following:

i asked her what her reason was 4 not wearing the hijab anymore and she said she luks at her friends and she envies not having the chance to dress up and do her hair like they do and that she is still a girl.

Please remind her of the following verses of the Qur'an:

And the Day the wrongdoer will bite on his hands [in regret] he will say, "Oh, I wish I had taken with the Messenger a way. Oh, woe to me! I wish I had not taken that one as a friend. He led me away from the remembrance after it had come to me. And ever is Satan, to man, a deserter."

[Translation of the meanings of the Qur'an 25:27-29]

Close friends, that Day, will be enemies to each other, except for the righteous [To whom Allah will say], "O My servants, no fear will there be concerning you this Day, nor will you grieve, [You] who believed in Our verses and were Muslims. Enter Paradise, you and your kinds, delighted." Circulated among them will be plates and vessels of gold. And therein is whatever the souls desire and [what] delights the eyes, and you will abide therein eternally. And that is Paradise which you are made to inherit for what you used to do. For you therein is much fruit from which you will eat.

[Translation of the meanings of the Qur'an 43:67-73]

Say, [O Muhammad], "If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your relatives, wealth which you have obtained, commerce wherein you fear decline, and dwellings with which you are pleased are more beloved to you than Allah and His Messenger and jihad in His cause, then wait until Allah executes His command. And Allah does not guide the defiantly disobedient people."

[Translation of the meanings of the Qur'an 9:24]


Regards,

Bluegazer

Wassalamu Alaikum

 

[Bluegazer]

Assalamu Alaikum sister Ammunti,



I'd like to add the following video of Baba Ali which is entitled "That's not Hijab". Even though it's related primarily to Muslims living in the West, I still hope that your cousin can relate to the advice he's giving:


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I just need to mentione a couple of points where I disagree with Baba Ali:

1- When he says that a Muslims woman who wears a hijab is not superior to a Muslim woman who doesn't wear the hijab, then that -in a certain sense- is wrong.

If two Muslim women who do eaxctly the same good deeds and refrain exactly from the same sins except that one wears Hijab in order to please Allah and obey His commands while the other Muslim woman does not, then in this particular case the Muslim woman who does wear the hijab is superior to the Muslim woman who does not wear the hijab.

However, as Bab Ali mentions, it's all up to the inentions of the woman who does wear the hijab, and only Allah the Almighty knows what's in the hearts.

There's also the fact that some Muslim women who don't wear the hijab have some other good deeds and less sins than a Muslim woman who does wear the hijab. So, the net result would be -in this particular case- in favour of the Muslim woman who does not wear the hijab. But again, the "net result" is something that we humans do not know about, so we cannot judge this "net result".


2- He also says that some young women might wear hijab while also wearing short sleeves and that he "understands". I disagree here. When a woman reaches puberty, she should wear hijab and modest clothing [including long sleeves] no matter how young she is.


Regards,

Bluegazer

Wassalamu Alaikum

 

[truth4real]

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[justoneofmillion]

assalamu aleikum, show her vids about the signs of the last day does she have any guarentee of being alive tomorrow like everybodyelse who got "HIV" or "CANCER" or is she saying those things don`t happen to me am different while she is having fun?,show her documentaries about the injustice pain and hunger that her fellow humanbeings are going through in this world and if she has got a glimpse of heart left and understands her deen like she says am sure she will find a better way to know what her duty as muslim is and a better way to satisfy her ego! beauty vanishes and turns back to the ground to be eaten by worms what remains is the beauty and sincerity of the soul when she will face Allah swt being young is an excuse and ego a distraction that will affect her perceverence with time in my mind!it is like my little cousin when he goes to a coffe place he wants a capuccino like an adult and everybody starts laughing but when his father tells him to help his elder sister he says "i can`t am young am only six"!

AND ALLAH SWT KNOWS BEST



wassalam

SINDBAD

 

[salmanzaid]

There are two ideas which come to mind ... which I am roughly quoting from brothers I've heard in Australia ( it is a huge hot potatoe here right now, due to the media character assasination of our mufti ).

(1) In Islam, women are instructed to cover up in some way.
It is freedom of choice, nobody can force them - but we are accountable to Allah for choosing to disregard something in the deen ( no hijab or missing friday prayers or not following Ramadan properly - whatever ).

(2) One of my brothers has also said that we must NOT condemn a sister just because she does not wear hijab. There are many women who wear hijab, but don't pray whatsoever or follow anything else ... because they are just wearing hijab for cultural reasons or to fit in or just avoid criticism. Also, there are many women who don't wear hijab ... but they are doing their prayers every day and they follow Islam nice.
You cannot judge a book by its cover.

So I would be a little gentle in trying to help her -
Encourage her in other ways, be a friend.
Inshallah, she will remain a strong muslim.

 

[apocalypse77]

There are two ideas which come to mind ... which I am roughly quoting from brothers I've heard in Australia ( it is a huge hot potatoe here right now, due to the media character assasination of our mufti ).

(1) In Islam, women are instructed to cover up in some way.
It is freedom of choice, nobody can force them - but we are accountable to Allah for choosing to disregard something in the deen ( no hijab or missing friday prayers or not following Ramadan properly - whatever ).

(2) One of my brothers has also said that we must NOT condemn a sister just because she does not wear hijab. There are many women who wear hijab, but don't pray whatsoever or follow anything else ... because they are just wearing hijab for cultural reasons or to fit in or just avoid criticism. Also, there are many women who don't wear hijab ... but they are doing their prayers every day and they follow Islam nice.
You cannot judge a book by its cover.

So I would be a little gentle in trying to help her -
Encourage her in other ways, be a friend.
Inshallah, she will remain a strong muslim.

yes thats right.lets take this for an example


women A-Wears hijab but drinks alcohol(god forbid).In the afterlife, she will be accounted for her behavior for drinking alcohol,not the hijab part.That means to say she will probably be torment in hell for drinking alcohol but NOT for exposing her hair.

women B-Drinks alcohol and wear never wear her hijab.In the aftelrife she will be accounted for BOTH behaviours

We'll be accounted for the respective sins we commit in life in the afterlife.Allah will never torment a person for a particular sins he/she never commit or on accident

again we need ot use the methodology approach.if the women wears the hijab with no sincerity and wearing it just for the sake of cultural and fashion but not becos of allah, then the obligation is not counted