saima abdullah
my life iz 4 Allah
5 Actions For Successful Relationships
by Margaret Paul Ph.D.
People that have very good relationships are not just lucky. Successful, loving relationships do not just happen. The people that have loving relationships are taking specific actions that people in unsuccessful relationships are not taking.
ACTION 1 - KINDNESS TO SELF AND OTHER
Think for a moment about how you go through your day. Are you focused on what you don't like in yourself or others? Do you spend much of your thinking time judging yourself or others? Or, do you make the spiritual attribute of kindness to yourself and others, including others, your highest priority?
People in successful relationships treat themselves and others with kindness – kind words, kind actions, kind looks, kind listening, and kind thoughts. It is far more important to them to be kind than to try to control others with anger, judgment, criticism, irritation, blame, resistance or withdrawal.
ACTION 2 - PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR FEELINGS
People in loving relationships do not make others responsible for their feelings. When they feel angry, hurt, anxious, depressed, resentful, irritated, guilty, or shamed, they look within at their own thoughts and behavior that may be causing their painful feelings. They do not see themselves as victims of other's choices. Rather, they learn how to manage their own feelings without dumping their upset on others. When they can't manage their own feelings, they get the help they need rather than dump anger, blame, anxiety or depression onto others.
ACTION 3 - ORGANIZATIONAL RESPONSIBILITY
People in successful relationships take responsibility for managing their time and space in ways that work for themselves and their partner. They make sure they have enough time with each other to talk, learn and resolve conflict. They make sure they have time with children, time for chores, time for work and time for relaxation. They take care of their mutual living spaces in ways that respect other's needs.
ACTION 4 - FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY
In successful relationships, one person does not spend money in such as way as to create stress for the other person. They mutually decide on their budget and then stick to it.
ACTION 5 - HEALTH AND WELL BEING
When two people care deeply about themselves and each other, they strive to take care of their physical health. They do not behave in ways that cause their partner to fear for their well being. They do not take unnecessary risks, such as riding a motorcycle without a helmet, or participating in activities that could harm their eyes without wearing goggles. They don't drink and drive. They eat well, get enough exercise, and don't smoke. People in successful relationships do not want their partner to suffer the grief of their loss through premature illness, so they strive to take good care of themselves – partly out of caring for themselves, and partly out of caring for their partner.
Once again – successful relationships don't just happen. They are the result of each person taking physical, emotional, financial, organizational, and spiritual responsibility within their relationship.
(I have done some necessary changes in the article)
by Margaret Paul Ph.D.
People that have very good relationships are not just lucky. Successful, loving relationships do not just happen. The people that have loving relationships are taking specific actions that people in unsuccessful relationships are not taking.
ACTION 1 - KINDNESS TO SELF AND OTHER
Think for a moment about how you go through your day. Are you focused on what you don't like in yourself or others? Do you spend much of your thinking time judging yourself or others? Or, do you make the spiritual attribute of kindness to yourself and others, including others, your highest priority?
People in successful relationships treat themselves and others with kindness – kind words, kind actions, kind looks, kind listening, and kind thoughts. It is far more important to them to be kind than to try to control others with anger, judgment, criticism, irritation, blame, resistance or withdrawal.
ACTION 2 - PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR FEELINGS
People in loving relationships do not make others responsible for their feelings. When they feel angry, hurt, anxious, depressed, resentful, irritated, guilty, or shamed, they look within at their own thoughts and behavior that may be causing their painful feelings. They do not see themselves as victims of other's choices. Rather, they learn how to manage their own feelings without dumping their upset on others. When they can't manage their own feelings, they get the help they need rather than dump anger, blame, anxiety or depression onto others.
ACTION 3 - ORGANIZATIONAL RESPONSIBILITY
People in successful relationships take responsibility for managing their time and space in ways that work for themselves and their partner. They make sure they have enough time with each other to talk, learn and resolve conflict. They make sure they have time with children, time for chores, time for work and time for relaxation. They take care of their mutual living spaces in ways that respect other's needs.
ACTION 4 - FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY
In successful relationships, one person does not spend money in such as way as to create stress for the other person. They mutually decide on their budget and then stick to it.
ACTION 5 - HEALTH AND WELL BEING
When two people care deeply about themselves and each other, they strive to take care of their physical health. They do not behave in ways that cause their partner to fear for their well being. They do not take unnecessary risks, such as riding a motorcycle without a helmet, or participating in activities that could harm their eyes without wearing goggles. They don't drink and drive. They eat well, get enough exercise, and don't smoke. People in successful relationships do not want their partner to suffer the grief of their loss through premature illness, so they strive to take good care of themselves – partly out of caring for themselves, and partly out of caring for their partner.
Once again – successful relationships don't just happen. They are the result of each person taking physical, emotional, financial, organizational, and spiritual responsibility within their relationship.
(I have done some necessary changes in the article)
