" Assalamualikum Sheikh,
I’m writing this message to you today after burying my one and only child. I want to begin by saying that I am a Muslim and I am also a Porn Addict. I have been so for approx 25yrs. With a beautiful wife and child, It never stopped me. I came to a point where I didn't care what anyone said to me or the lectures I heard or the words of Allah and his messenger (s).
I, like many other Muslims felt that Islam was too strict and didn't care to understand the wisdom why our religion gives us do's/don't's. Instead, I wanted to live bending the rules here and there and question the Qadr of Allah swt.
Sheikh, 3 days ago I was watching porn and had my child on the floor. I was so frustrated because she kept interrupting me wanting to play with Daddy and instead, I brushed her to the side, gave her whatever objects I could find to keep her busy and con'td watching porn. After about half hour, I turned over to look at her and noticed she was lying on the ground, breathless. I ran to her, listened for a heartbeat and couldn't hear anything. I screamed for my wife to call the ambulance, they came and took her to the hospital. Now the unthinkable came. We waited and waited to hear the results only to find the Doctor giving us the saddest news of my life;
“ Sir, I’m sorry to inform you, but your daughter is dead “
Myself and wife screamed in tears and finally asked, what happened? How did she Die?
Doctors found a small object in her throat which she accidentally swallowed and choked to death.
Allah swt showed me the result of my lack of care for sinning. I was so much into porn that I ignored my child and as a result, it caused her death.
I don't know what to think sheikh, but I do know one thing. All the Sh.Musleh's, Sh.Yasir Qadhi's, Sh.Yahya Ibrahim's out there were warning me what I was doing was haram and I had to stop, but I didn't care what that meant, instead I kept doing it more and more until Allah swt showed me the result of my disobedience to him.
I write this to you today to share with the world, especially my fellow brothers/sisters.
Please have fear of Allah and follow his religion. It may save your life...or your child.
From your brother in Islam."
I guess I better go and pray Zuhar.