A ruling being a foster parent of adopting children

[lostlilly07]

Salaam alaikum

I would like to know if there is ruling on being a foster parent. I am not sure if the foster parent concept is used outside America but usually when children are taken away from their guardian and need temporary shelter until the courts can find family or suitable parents they will be sent in foster care. Can I only adopt babies or once they reach a certain age, are they un-adoptable?

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam,

Sister, fostering is actually more along the lines of what is considered Islamic compared against the form of adoption in America. Adoption if an older child versus an infant does not matter, as long as the adoption conforms to the Islamic parameters. In Islam the child will always be aware they have biological parents and cannot have their surname changed.

It is preferred that the child be an orphan but in the cases of foster children where the child is usually neglected and/or abused then the parental rights are terminated by the state and they become a ward of the state, basically an orphan on paper.

Futhermore , if you adopt an infant and can induce lactation (let me know if you need info on this) and breast feed the child, you become mahrem to the child. This can help immensely in the future when issues of hijab and mahrem come into play. I have a few Muslim friends who've adopted orphans all while under the guidance of a mufti to insure it was halaal.

Wasalaam

~Sarah

 

[OsMaN_93]

:salam2: w.r.b
Adoption is of two types – forbidden and prescribed

Question:
If a person asks to adopt a child from the orphanage, is it permitted for those in charge to give him what he wants?

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

Adoption of children is of two types, forbidden and not forbidden.

The forbidden type means adopting a child in the sense that the child is considered to be the child of the adopting parent and subject to the rulings on children. This is not permitted. Allaah nullified it in the Qur’aan when He said (interpretation of the meaning):

“…nor has He made your adopted sons your real sons…”

[al-Ahzaab 33:4]

The kind which is prescribed and may be mustahabb means being kind towards the child and giving him a righteous religious upbringing and sound direction, teaching him that which will benefit him in this world and the next. But it is not permitted to hand a child over except to one who is known to be trustworthy, religiously-committed and of good character, who will take care of the child’s interests. He should also be a local resident, so that he will not take the child away to a country where his presence may be a cause for his religious commitment being lost in the future. If these conditions are met in the case of both the child and the adopting parent, then it is OK to hand over a foundling whose parentage is not known. May Allaah preserve you

:salam2:

 

[lostlilly07]

Salaam,

Sister, fostering is actually more along the lines of what is considered Islamic compared against the form of adoption in America. Adoption if an older child versus an infant does not matter, as long as the adoption conforms to the Islamic parameters. In Islam the child will always be aware they have biological parents and cannot have their surname changed.

It is preferred that the child be an orphan but in the cases of foster children where the child is usually neglected and/or abused then the parental rights are terminated by the state and they become a ward of the state, basically an orphan on paper.

Futhermore , if you adopt an infant and can induce lactation (let me know if you need info on this) and breast feed the child, you become mahrem to the child. This can help immensely in the future when issues of hijab and mahrem come into play. I have a few Muslim friends who've adopted orphans all while under the guidance of a mufti to insure it was halaal.

Wasalaam

~Sarah

But my only apprehension towards fostering is what if I get a boy and I have a natural girl child. Will she be required to cover in front of him. I would hate to make my children and foster children feel uncomfortable at "home". But I would rather foster in a sense because I alway hear of so much corruption that goes on like foster parents only doing it for the small stipend you get, not putting it towards the children. Insha'allah I am going to join some foster and adopting parents forum.

 

[elixbrody]

I have a question regarding this, what if a woman can't have children then why will it be wrong to take children as if they were her kids. I mean she can't have children anyway

 

[Almeftah]

in islam, you can take someone elses child only with his parents consent - unless they are both dead - only to help raise that child as one of your own, and that child doesnt become a brother or a sister to your own children, also the child must be aware of his biological parents and cannot have his/her surname changed.
as for Hijab.. if the adopted boy is less than 11-12 its ok not to wear hijab in his presence. and if its a girl she must wear hijab after the age of 9yo... and Allah knows best.

 

[lostlilly07]

see that is wear the problem falls...I want to adopt but I also want the children to feel safe and comfortable at home. sorry but I need some deleel with that. So are you saying if I adopt a baby and nurse it...then it will be as if mine. I am rushing, i hope you understand what I am saying.

 

[ShyHijabi]

But my only apprehension towards fostering is what if I get a boy and I have a natural girl child. Will she be required to cover in front of him. I would hate to make my children and foster children feel uncomfortable at "home". But I would rather foster in a sense because I alway hear of so much corruption that goes on like foster parents only doing it for the small stipend you get, not putting it towards the children. Insha'allah I am going to join some foster and adopting parents forum.

Salaam,

Firstly you can specify a particular gender when fostering. There are many foster homes that are only available to one gender. One helpful hint is to make sure the foster child is always younger than your biological child. The reasoning for this is that a lot of these children come from abusive homes and as sad as it is to say, you need to make sure your biological child is big enough to protect themselves if need be.

If you join adoption/foster forums please be careful about the terms you use as they are extremely sensitive about this. Use "biological child" instead of "natural" or "real." These parents tend to take offense if the latter terms are used. Let me know (via PM) which ones you planon joining and I will give you some helpful hints and advice.

I used to be a member of many adoption forums so I am very familiar with a lot of them.

Wasalaam

~Sarah

 

[ShyHijabi]

see that is wear the problem falls...I want to adopt but I also want the children to feel safe and comfortable at home. sorry but I need some deleel with that. So are you saying if I adopt a baby and nurse it...then it will be as if mine. I am rushing, i hope you understand what I am saying

I actually answered a question like this last week concerning the Fiqh on nursing a child. Keep in mind that if you foster-to-adopt this will not be an option as you are not allowed to nurse a foster child.

Would I need to breastfeed a baby boy or girl to adopt an orphan.

Fatwa
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.

If what is meant by adoption is that the breastfed child becomes a prospective Mahram (a non-marriageable relative) for the breast feeder woman and her daughters, for example, then yes, for he would not be considered Mahram unless by one of the three conditions of prohibition, namely: blood relation, breastfeeding, and relationship by marriage.
If the household would like the child to be Mahram for them, they have to breastfeed him in a sufficient way that makes him Mahram, i.e. five full and sufficient breast-feeds before the child completes two years of age.
But if what is meant by adoption is joining the child to the family in terms of affiliation, that is, to be related to someone other than his father, then this is prohibited. This is based on the Prophet's saying: Whoever claims affiliation (in terms of lineage) to anyone other than his father, then he is a disbeliever . [Narrated by al-Bukhari , Muslim , and others]
This Mahram cannot be made lawful (marriageable) by means of breastfeeding.
Furthermore, if what the questioner means is getting reward by caring for an orphan, then this does not necessitate breastfeeding him.
Allah knows best.

http://www.islamweb.net/ver2/Fatwa/ShowFatwa.php?lang=E&Id=86312&Option=FatwaId

 

[ShyHijabi]

I have a question regarding this, what if a woman can't have children then why will it be wrong to take children as if they were her kids. I mean she can't have children anyway

Salaam,

First I will answer this Islamically and then I will answer this from a more psycho-social angle.

Islamically our main goal when it comes to fostering/adopting is to provide a home and upbringing for an orphan or a child who's parents are incapable of being proper parents. There is no ruling regarding the giving of a child to an infertile woman. Children aren't objects to be owned and Islam is very strict about the child maintaining their true identity. There should not be any stories of a Muslim child finding out they've been lied to their whole life told they were born from people they were not.

Psycho/socially speaking there is no reason for us to claim a child "as if born unto" as with Western adoptions. We give entirely too much power to people when we tell them they have the option of keeping the knowledge of a child's lineage and biological ties. from that child This is making a person appear as if they are "owned" and not entitled to the same rights as you and I. Adoption/fostering is not about giving a baby to an infertile couple but about finding a home and family to a child who does not have one. The main concern should always be about the chld in question and not the adults who want to fill a hole in their life.

Wasalaam

~Sarah

 

[ShyHijabi]

in islam, you can take someone elses child only with his parents consent - unless they are both dead - only to help raise that child as one of your own, and that child doesnt become a brother or a sister to your own children, also the child must be aware of his biological parents and cannot have his/her surname changed.
as for Hijab.. if the adopted boy is less than 11-12 its ok not to wear hijab in his presence. and if its a girl she must wear hijab after the age of 9yo... and Allah knows best.

Salaam,

Brother are you aware it appears you just issued a fatwa? Please give some evidence of daleel before stating such things as if they are fact. As you can see from the daleel I provided in the previous postings a child can be cosidered mahrem if breast feeding is done. This would mean a hijab is not necesary around the mother to child or child to mother. So while they do not become biological siblings to the other children in the family they do become mahrem and forbiddden to marry.

The surname can be changed in the case of unknown parentage (as with abandoned children found in China). Adoption is still a widely misunderstood issue among Muslims and this is something I feel passionate about rectifying. So forgive me if I appear rude when answering, I just don't want more confusion.

Wasalaam

~Sarah

 

[lostlilly07]

Salaam,

Firstly you can specify a particular gender when fostering. There are many foster homes that are only available to one gender. One helpful hint is to make sure the foster child is always younger than your biological child. The reasoning for this is that a lot of these children come from abusive homes and as sad as it is to say, you need to make sure your biological child is big enough to protect themselves if need be.

If you join adoption/foster forums please be careful about the terms you use as they are extremely sensitive about this. Use "biological child" instead of "natural" or "real." These parents tend to take offense if the latter terms are used. Let me know (via PM) which ones you planon joining and I will give you some helpful hints and advice.

I used to be a member of many adoption forums so I am very familiar with a lot of them.

Wasalaam

~Sarah

Okay

well I did look on www.adopting.org but I did join the forum or anything yet but I will keep you posted. And no you don't sound rude, as I stated before or if i did not, I just want my biological children and fostering children to feel safe once they are "home". But insha'allah, I keep you posted on any decisions I make or any forum I join.

Jazkallah khairn.