Advice needed asap please! I'm in real trouble!

H

haji786

New Member
Salam-alaykum warah matuallah wa bara katu.

I am 23 from London. I consider myself to be quite a decent Muslim - I pray 5 times a day, I am conscience of my actions, have had the privilege of going on Hajj and Umrah on many occasions.

However, I feel as though my life is without purpose. I have no reason to wake up in the morning (except to pray). I have failed out of medical school and now seem to be struggling with law school. I am completely unmotivated.

I have heard somewhere before, that being fed up of this dunya can be seen as a good thing in the sense that I realise the futility of life and that it's the next life that we need to strive for. But if I'm struggling in my day to day life, how can that be good?

I'm not having a crisis of faith at all. I consider my deen to be quite strong.

My problems are that I am disillusioned with my life in almost every aspect. I have literally no friends (for one reason or another). If I continue the way I am at university I'll have no job prospects - therefore no marriage.

My parents last night found out about my terrible progress in law school and I have never seen them this upset with me before. My Mother doesn't even want to look or speak to me. My father threatened me with kicking me out of the house. To say the least they are extremely fed up and upset with me.

I don't know what to do. I am at a loss as to how to rectify the situation with my parents and how to sort my life out. ANY ADVICE WOULD BE APPRECIATED. as I have nobody to turn to (except my dua'as)

I would say that I am depressed but that would not solve anything and may just be a knee jerk reaction to my situation.

Please could you help me get my life back on track?

JazakAllah Hare
 
D

Daydreamer

New Member
Response

Hmm okay it seems that you've kind of given up on the other side of life. You say that you are a decent muslim but lets look at it this way. Islam promotes the idea of work and gaining knowledge by learning new things. Also it promotes being obedient to parents. You must understand that to make your parents happy then you must listen to them and do what they want you to and and make them feel proud. They want you to continue with your studies. You must see it as a high priority because you must thrive for your parents happiness and du'as. I believe that you should balance your life out. Start studying again but this time dont think about yourself. Do it for your parents. Do it to bring that smile back on their faces.But first I want you to talk to them. But this is no ordinary talk. Discuss how you feel. Show them your sensitive side. This will enable them to be more lenient towards you. Explain to them your situation. After that you must listen to what they say. All of this comes into Islma. If you do what your parents say and make them happy then you will recieve so much reward. It will also benefit you in this life. Islam teaches muslims to earn for a living. If you study you will get a good job and earn halal money. I really think you should make du'a and make effort. Dont give up. You're young. You have so much to live for.
 
twas19

twas19

Junior Member
As salam alaykum,

Dear Haji 786 the problem you are facing is the same i have faced and right now i consider myself almost out of it,not totaly but almost.I suggest you not to worry everything has a time.Dont let yourself demotivated if you are not doing good with your studies and if your parents are disappointed with your progress.Your scenario is the same as mine.My parents use to get offended when i was not doing good at school my dad use to say that he'll kick me out of the house.If now your time in life is not good than there will come a time that you will succeed cuz good times are always followed by bad times.I got some bitter memories of past when i was not performing well in my studies.
Look i suggest you that you should persue that education which is of your interest and caliber if you dont like law or medicine than research or think of something you really like and something you can do with motivation and interest .Wish you all the best.

your brother in islam

Taha.

walaykum sala,
 
A

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,

You are only 23 years old. The world is still an inviting place. You are just beginning to start your dreams.

Why are you pursuing a vocation that has no interest for you. My mother gave me very good advise when my sons were born. She said life is so short if the boys want to be potato pickers and are happy and good Muslims leave them be.

I posted a personality test on this site a couple of years ago. Take it. It only takes twenty minutes. This will brighten things out for you.

It is very normal to look at the world around you and be disillusioned at your age.

Your parents are not upset with you. They just want the best for you. Am I correct in assuming your parents are from the subcontinent. We have this outlook on life that you can only be a doctor, lawyer, or engineer. Go figure.

Without failure we can not understand and appreciate success. Do not be hard on yourself.

As for marriage..start looking. A mate helps when you can't see, as a friend told me once, the flowers because of the rain.
 
N

neox297

Junior Member
I think you may be pursing law and medicien for the wrong reasons

You dont have motivation in school ebcause you dont have proabbly dont have passion for niether law or medicine.

And instead of going the typical route of trying to please your partents with your career, try to find what your passionate abnout and pursue that, and sell that idea to your parents, they will go along over time when they see you happy
 
Janaan

Janaan

ربنا اغفر لنا ذنوبنا
Staff member
Wa'aleykum Salaam warahmatullahi wabarakaatuh!

I think that the brothers and sisters here have advised you well, just want to add a bit to it.

Akhy, I understand that you're stressed out becoz things aren't really working out, but did you, for a minute, sit down and think everything that's happening through? It doesn't seem like you have, or you would've figured out this on your own.
Just like the people above said, It also seems to me that you're struggling with school because firstly, you still haven't figured out what you REALLY want to do in the future. And secondly, You not having friends is probably discouraging.. because frankly, everyone needs a friend to be there for them.
But you can change thses things, It's not that hard if Allah's with you.--To be successful in school, You can 1) like I said before- sit down and think about what YOU want, what you're good at, what you believe you can ace at. and 2) If you figure that either Med or Law school wasn't what you really wanted and was just pressured into(I kno lots of people who do what they do to PLease people, and not becoz it's what intrests them....it's pretty sad wallahi) then Insha'allah, start over your major snd choose YOUR choice of feild, because nothing is ever too late.
Lots of people believe that there are "perfect" people out there, but NO subhanallah, no one is perfect, and If if you're looking for a perfect friend, you'll most likely stay friendless, so Insha'allah, it's not hard..just socialize with classmates and Try to atleast find one friend who's better or like you, because those worse than you, will become a bad influence and those better than you will lead you the right way.

About you parents, I don't really belive they're fed up with you...they're probably frustrated at your doings. If I were them, I'd be mad at you too:), because as you say, you're right on track on the deen, and most importantly, close to Allah swt for you turn to him everytime(Masha'allah!)...so what's keeping you from being good at school too!?

Insha'allah, I'm sure things will sort itself out and you'll soon become a successfull muslim man:)

And forgive me if I've said anything to offend you!
Wa'aleykum salaam!
 
G

Gernada1492

A Muslim
brother ,

Being decent muslims doest NOT mean that u shud leave this world. If that wud have been the case , sahabah (RA) wud not have worked or done business. We need to get involved in this world. We need to accel. We need to be better muslims laywers, betterm uslism doctors rather than just plain muslim who sits at holme and just pray.

Life is a test. Its a continuous struggle. If we wud have required to leave this world, Nabi(SAW) wud have clearly told us but reality is different.

you are getting depressed because u dont have any aims in life. Make some goals e.g. I will be a good muslim lawyer who wont cheat, wont take fee from poor etc etc and get expertise.. there are many good muslims who have to pay fee to stupid lawyers to fight ther geniune case and they might play with those good muslims.

Go out make friends. Enjoy life in limits. Life is CERTAINLY not wat u r doing. If u keep on going like wat u currently r doing, u will lose everything . Be a Man!
dont jusst think that there is nothign more important than Prayers. Prayers shud be ur habit but others things cant be stopped. U need to manage ur time brother.. ALLAH can punish u as u r spending too much money on studies but not doign them properly. Its also an obligation on u to study properly if u r spending so much money and there is no one who stops u from studying worldly things. We need to rule the world. muslims are not here to get teh beating and suffer in this world. World is OURS.

And just think, u dont study, u dont earn and if u r hungry, u can be ready to leave islam and do anything for ur desires..

So, Wake up from lazyness and accel in wat u r doing.

Feel free to ask me anything

Can u tell me where u r in london?
 
queenislam

queenislam

★★★I LOVE ALLAH★★★
~Salam to all!

haji786 said:
Salam-alaykum warah matuallah wa bara katu.

I am 23 from London. I consider myself to be quite a decent Muslim - I pray 5 times a day, I am conscience of my actions, have had the privilege of going on Hajj and Umrah on many occasions.

However, I feel as though my life is without purpose. I have no reason to wake up in the morning (except to pray). I have failed out of medical school and now seem to be struggling with law school. I am completely unmotivated.

I have heard somewhere before, that being fed up of this dunya can be seen as a good thing in the sense that I realise the futility of life and that it's the next life that we need to strive for. But if I'm struggling in my day to day life, how can that be good?

I'm not having a crisis of faith at all. I consider my deen to be quite strong.

My problems are that I am disillusioned with my life in almost every aspect. I have literally no friends (for one reason or another). If I continue the way I am at university I'll have no job prospects - therefore no marriage.

My parents last night found out about my terrible progress in law school and I have never seen them this upset with me before. My Mother doesn't even want to look or speak to me. My father threatened me with kicking me out of the house. To say the least they are extremely fed up and upset with me.

I don't know what to do. I am at a loss as to how to rectify the situation with my parents and how to sort my life out. ANY ADVICE WOULD BE APPRECIATED. as I have nobody to turn to (except my dua'as)

I would say that I am depressed but that would not solve anything and may just be a knee jerk reaction to my situation.

Please could you help me get my life back on track?

JazakAllah Hare
Click to expand...


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:bismillah:
:salam2:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0uhi2A5NUw
Surat Al-Asr - سورة العصر

Is there a muslim professional advisor or muslim consultant that can help you?
I believe there is or maybe you can drop down to your muslim council in your country to seek help.

From my point of view there's nothing wrong with you but excuse me i think you are taking granted at the love and kindness your parent been given!
Make them happy bro study hard play less you r still young and there's more to explore!Reminding you this so you won't regret it later.

People in those days struggling hard to study they didn't have something to write on but on wood and stone!
Come on pull yourself together and focus!

You are a good muslim :ma: alhamdulillah i can see that.

Every one has to contribute to our muslim community.Like the people before us.So get the boost understand the true concept of this life and strive for the best!

:tti_sister:May Allah swt help and guide you~Amin!


All The Best!

Thank you,
Take Care!

Wassalam :)
 
arzafar

arzafar

Junior Member
i think people should choose a career they like. perhaps you many want to make that choice right now.
 
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