Advice please

[Hopetogoparadis]

assalam alakum

i know that i also posted similar posts before but couldnt get much answers, so i would just like to hear your thoughts, ideas. I mean, you dont have to be considered as sheikh or anyone, i would just like to hear your ideas and advices

I met a girl from a different country. After a while i came to her country and met her family. Her family tried to get to know me and i guess we both are okay with each other. Though we didnt talk about seriously getting married to each other. It was more like ''what would you do in future ? Where would you like to live ? and so on. As if they just wanted to know my ideas if i would marry her.

I still have studies for 3-4 years and she/her family knows it. So i mean, i dont know when we would get married. Maybe it would be after some years. I asked her if its problem, but she doesnt mind.

So the thing is, before i go my home country, i thought if i should make another step. Like engagement ? what do you think ? Or should i just leave and dont make any serious step for now ?

 

[Ron-Kid]

w/salam dear brother.

Engagement according to sharee’ah means that the man asks the woman to marry him. The view of the scholars is that engagement is prescribed for one who wants to get married. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And there is no sin on you if you make a hint of betrothal…”
[al-Baqarah 2:235]

And it was narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) got engaged to ‘Aa’ishah. (Al-Bukhaari, al-Nikaah, 4793). And in al-Saheeh it also states that the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) got engaged to Hafsah. (Al-Bukhaari, al-Nikaah, 4830).

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged the one who wants to get engaged to look at the woman to whom he wishes to propose. According to the hadeeth, “When any one of you proposes marriage to a woman, if he can look at that which will encourage him to go ahead and marry her, then let him do so.” (Abu Dawood, al-Nikaah, 2082; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 1832).

But in Islamic sharee’ah there are no specific practices that must be followed with regard to engagement. What some Muslims do, announcing the engagement, having a party to celebrate and exchanging gifts, all comes under the heading of customs which are permissible in principle, and none of them are haraam except those which sharee’ah indicates are haraam – which includes the exchange of rings between the engaged couple, a custom which is known in Arabic as “dublah.” This custom goes against sharee’ah for the following reasons:

1 – Some people think that these rings increase the love between the spouses and have an effect on their relationship. This is an ignorant (jaahili) belief and is an attachment to something for which there is no basis in sharee’ah and which does not make sense.

2 – This custom involves imitating the non-Muslims such as Christians and others. It is not a Muslim custom at all. The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) warned us against that when he said, “You will inevitably follow the paths of those who came before you, handspan by handspan, cubit by cubit, until even if they entered the hole of a lizard, you will follow them.” We said, “O Messenger of Allaah, (do you mean) the Jews and Christians?” He said, “Who else?” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, al-I’tisaam bi’l-Kitaab wa’l-Sunnah, 6889; Muslim, al-‘Ilm, 6723).

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever imitates a people is one of them.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood, al-Libaas, 4031; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abu Dawood, 3401).

3 – This engagement usually takes place before the ‘aqd (marriage contract), in which case it is not permissible for the man to put the ring on his fiancée’s hand himself, because she is still a stranger (non-mahram) to him, and has not yet become his wife.

So if you want to commit of you marrying her, you would express the consent without following the practices or traditions of the deviants

Here my advise for you would be marry as soon as possible with the minimum capability, don't delay it for long after the commitment.
Wassalam

 

[muhammad sabri]

:salam2:

i think that brother ron's answer is the anwer you were looking for,for sure the earlier the better also because you would have a differetn tranquility in you heart knowing that you already settled this little yet great part of your life, Allah(swt) will give you the means, what you must work on is the pure intention and the working on it,the result will be up to Allah(swt) to decide

i wish you the best of blessing in this life and in the other and may Allah(swt) easen your task and guide you and us all tot hat which is halal.

wajazakallahu khairan