Another Question Oh no!!!

[Mixedup]

Dear All.,

I am wanting your opinion on something around my job

I have worked for the government for 16 years and am an adviser
My job involves working with single parents who claim benefits for themselves and their children. My main aim is to try and get them to think about working so they create a better life financially for themselves and their children.
The problem is that I have to deal with widows and abandoned women for whom I have compassion as they have not chosen this situation but I also have to deal with and advise women who keep having children to different men and seem to enjoy divulging the nitty gritty of everything they do.
ie) Clubbing, sleeping around etc etc.
I am no hypocrit and feel unable to take the moral high ground as such as prior to reverting I myself used to go out but even still I had the respect for myself not to sleep around and drink tons of alcohol.
Now I have reverted I really don't want to know what they get up too I feel like taking them aside and giving them a good talking too (which I cant) because I wonder about the life and examples they are setting for their children as well as what these kids are been exposed too. (ie Alcohol abuse and many are drug addicts). I know it is not for me to judge and I try so hard not to but its very hard not to think about it.
Then I think on the other hand I am a hypocrit because on the odd occasion I have a muslim sister sat in front of me I tend to understand and accept it when she tells me she can not work because it goes against her beleif that she should raise her children herself etc and does not wish to work (which I should not accept as per the government).
Thankfully I see very very few muslim sisters as their families tend to support and help them but obviously there are some who are alone.
Its really doing my head in because Im expecting non muslim women to do one thing and Muslim women to do nothing.
I'm really begining to hate my job but for financial reasons I need to work and feel packing in would be unfair on my partner with the expectation that he should support us alone.
I really dont know what to do so any advice would be appreciated.

Jo

 

[Mixedup]

Sorry but Im really confused
How can a widow or abandoned women do housework for their husband?

 

[soeurette]

Umm, its pretty unlikely these women have new husbands or partners since they are obviously on government aid. Thats the point is that these women need help getting up on their feet.
But sister its pretty unlikely some of these women are going to change, I mean there are probably things in their past that you are unaware of that unless they recieve help for are going to continue to haunt them. People can only make use of help if they want to be helped, other wise unfortunately many people continue to live in their pasts and feel a sense of hopelessness and helplessness and in our socity people choose to self medicate in order to rid themselves of these feelings. The best you can do is to continue to help them as you have before and try and talk to them about the consequences of their actions, you can't just give up