You're brave, go you! Me on the other hand, I have had this thing since I was a girl, that seeing a slit animal throat would put me off from eating that specific animal. So one particular evening, my parents decided that my pet chickens were going to be dinner, lunch and the next dinner, so they slaughtered them right before my four year old eyes, and I didn't eat a single morsel of any of those chicken meals. I'm not sure that has stayed with me, because I've never had pet chicken dinner again, but besides that, I've never seen anything being slaughtered like that first hand. I've stood a metre away, with my back to it, have seen guts and blood and bones, heard the last groans of the animal, have dealt with warm, fresh meat, washed tripe (yuk!), seen the little ones stabbing a stick into some intestines and its bursting flavour, but there is something still about seeing that knife slit the throat and then me eating that meat ... Sounds absurd I know.