Attracted to her Iman.

[wanz]

Assalamualaikum

I recently met a girl and she is different from any girls i've met before. she's always reminding me of Allah, inviting me to religious event to gain knowledge... our conversation would always be about Allah and Islam. she inspires me and motivates me to be a better muslim myself. and now i find myself attracted to her, not because of her looks and whatnot, but because of her Iman. but im not sure should i handle this feelings and what should i do about it. should i just ignore the feelings? i've asked Allah to guide me and show me way, and i know He has the answer and will guide me. but what do my dear brothers and sister think? i would like to know your opinions and advices.

Jazakallah.

 

[Umm Abdullah]

Wa aleykum assalam wa rahmatullah bro.
You should not be speaking to this sister without her mahram there with you guys. Also if she is a good girl and you like her deen, then go to her wali. If you are not sure, pray istakharah. All this small talk you guys are doing is haram

 

[a_stranger]

Wa alaikim asalam wa rahmatu Allah wa barakatuh

I agree with sister ServantofAllah1 in Islam there is no relationship between men and women outside marriage. How can both of you lower your gaze or act in accordance with Islam . I pray that Allah guide us all to his way.

 

[wanz]

but we don't date or talk on the phone. we just texted. and our conversation are mostly about the deen. is that not permissible? plus, im still young(23) and still incapable of a marriage life. so what do i do? do just ignore her completely?

 

[kashif_nazeer]

wa 'alaikumassalam warahmatullah
My dear brother,trust in Allah,He will marry you eventually to the best suited girl,so do not make haste as it is a rizq Allah has written for you.Until then be patient insha'Allah avoid such things and relax : )
.

 

[a_stranger]

but we don't date or talk on the phone. we just texted. and our conversation are mostly about the deen. is that not permissible? plus, im still young(23) and still incapable of a marriage life. so what do i do? do just ignore her completely?

Baraka Alllah feek , both of you can learn your deen by some other way ....it is better . Since you can't think of marriage now there is no use of talking with her . Any thing that may lead to haram is haram. Work hard , finish your study ., learn your deen ....and I am sure the most suitable girl is waiting for you ....

 

[strive-may-i]

Assalaamu Alaikum,


Read, Read every quoted post.

Assalaam walaikum,
I was asked a question on how does one let go of experiences that leave us empty and questioning ourselves. The stuff in life that makes us hurt. The painful experiences of rejection and at times feeling totally abandoned.
Well, I found myself there too many times. You look in the mirror and it does not answer you back saying you are the most fair in the land. You look at the cell phone and it seems to be dead. The mailman brings bills. You try going for a walk in the rain and you get mud splashed at you. You give your best efforts at work to find out that you are fired from a job. You study and fail an exam etc. etc. Even the dog on the street looks at you and turns his head. You struggle to keep your marriage steady and you get handed divorce papers.

Welcome to the human race.
How do you keep it positive. Well, we are given the examples of Prophet Ayub. He never questioned the Will of Allah subhana wa taala. Eighteen years!!!
We have to understand that each experience tells us of our total need and dependence on Allah subhana wa taala.

Letting go. How do you let go of the pain.
We have to come to terms with the fact that the particular experience has its blessings. Often, when we are troubled our scope is so narrow. I go into survival mode. Sleep. Or my favorite...I will go and eat my comfort foods..hot hot french fries with a sweet milkshake. Within a few minutes I discover I am no longer a teenage and can not handle such shock to my old system

Active faith is the answer. Salat and dua. I am a firm believer in volunteer work. First of all, you get the gentle strokes of being welcomed and people are grateful for your efforts. It helps to keep you focused on something productive. Simple good deeds.

I have discovered in hindsight each awful and heart wrenching experience I have survived has given me wisdom and courage. It has made me strong. Sometimes, I feel as if I am holding onto a branch of a tree that is on a mountain top and looking down is scary...but the fact is that I am still able to hang on; although I am dangling. Even vertigo abandoned me.
But, we are given examples of courage. Hagar in the wilderness; Mary giving birth, the wife of Pharaoh seeking clemency from Allah, our Prophet, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, in the cave with his companion, The Prophet Ibrahim in the fire.

These tumultuous times are similar to what Yunus felt in the belly of the whale.
I love the Prophet Musa and his words are what I clutch. Allah I am in need of something good...and Allah subhana wa taala answers the call of the suppliant.

We know what the final goal is; the tests are just speed bumps on the way. You know sometimes I chase police-cars on the road. Turn things around.

Also, to read the last two verses in the second sura is a simple and good thing.

salam aleikum wa rahmatulahy wa barakatuh
I like this post, Alhamdullilah...
It is so important for us to realise Allah swt loves us, help us, test us....reward us....

I let go to my pains by
* admiting the blessings in them
* giving my will to Allah`s will

It is not easy..what child whould admit that the candy that he wanted or he eated hurted his theets ?
It is hard to admit and to let go..but once you done this for the sake of Allah inchallah inchallah He will not let you alone, never.
I pray we will all be gathered some day in a beautifull beautifull place, as long as we hold on to that branch..inchallah.

Salam.

Aapa you wrote it beautifully. Couldn't be any better mashAllah! Thank you.

Finding Light: Salam. Well, i have been thinking about this all the time these days/weeks. And well, I hope I can answer you inshAllah. The thing is we shouldn't have "attachments" to things in the first place. I know this sounds a bit harsh. BUT let me do my explaining...

There's a difference between Love & Attachment. Love is selfless. Attachment may have a motive. If you love things for the sake of love or likeness, things wont be neat. But if you love God FIRST and then out of His source, take love and love His Creations, the story gets a bit different. You stop demanding active participation from the other party because you're already getting it from God.. In whatever way the creation party responds, whether less or more, it will suffice. Even if things get ugly, you'll rely on God and seek His Happiness.

I am a person who likes/loves everything quickly. And its easy for me to express. But 3/4th of the time people don't even care, but I keep it inside myself. i do not share it with anyone, and whenever the meter reaches its height, I let it all out infront of God.. And demand answers. Lol. It's not neat but then I get the answer: When you knew that they won't be good, why did you increase your expectations? Every time I get this answer. So I have stopped worrying about it.. now..

Do not get attached to things, but Love them. Even Like doesn't suffice. Just be happy with the things and see through them. There has to be an answer. And if it doesn't help, think why people act that way.. And you'll understand what troubles them and maybe help them with it.

All this while I have learnt one thing: our hearts are such huge vessels that we just want to fill them with some kind of love. And half of the times, we choose the wrong things. And these wrong things lead us to God, because He is One Thing that can fill the heart completely and yet leave space to fit other things in. He wouldn't hurt us. But will give the Love that teaches, admonishes, and nourishes. Whosoever finds that will love everything without any reason.

Another thing, whosoever reads this, pray for my exam. JazakAllah.

Waslam!

Now, think. You met a person and the persons way of life is benefitting you. Its unwise to kill the geese that lays golden eggs right? So, stop. Let Go...

Too much of Hurry, Worry and Curry they say is bad

I happened to say that to an acquaintance I know...So that made me reflect , and recollect this thread...

So we all need water, or cup of tea/coffee. So what we do is, go to water bottle or pitcher, take an empty glass or cup, pour the water, drink. Keep the glass/cup there, clean it, and get back to what we were doing... Fearing we might feel thirsty, do we always, hold on to cup in our prominent hand wherever we go? We dont, because its inconvenient, worse still if we held on to that cup and always kept it filled with water, then we would have to always hold the cup in our prominent hand (some are left handed), and take enough care to make sure it does not spill... The hand might develop a cramp too, in effect one of our hand would become dysfunctional....
Same applies to worries in life, its best to let go... after its done with once. A mind that does not let go can become dysfunctional, so let go...
(This I recollect hearing/reading... )

But on other hand, our Imaan is like the cup and the water in it, its best to take great care of it, and never let it go! keep it close to yourself, where nothing destroys the Imaan in the soul(cup) and always striving to fill Soul with more Imaan, without flashing it.

Hope this too helps , us all

Jazakallaahu Khairan...

You need a better guide? Read this.

Assalamu Alaikum,
I have not gone through a similar enough experience (yet) to give you the answers to those questions but perhaps we can take a look at the example of our beloved Prophet (SAW).

In the Year of Sorrow he lost his first wife and loved friend, Khadijah; and his uncle and protector, Abu Talib. After Abu Talib died the disbelieving Makkans didn't hold back their constant attacks and the Apostle of Allah suffered even more. What did he ever do wrong? He only wanted people to do good and believe in Tawheed. In one instance, someone threw filth on him and his daughter would cry while cleaning his head. Do you know what he said? "Do not weep my little girl, for Allah will protect your father." After all that happened to him, he had an unbreakable trust that God would protect him. When he tried to find protection in the city of Ta'if, he was put in even more physical danger. Not only did they deny him protection, he was ridiculed and was pelted with stones. Sadly our Prophet leaned on a wall on the edge of the town and said this beautiful du'aa': " O Allah, to Thee I complain of my weakness, helplessness and lowliness before men. 0 Most Merciful, Thou art the Lord of the weak, and Thou art my Lord. To whom wouldst Thou leave my fate? To a stranger who insults me or to an enemy to whom Thou hast given power over me? If Thou art not angry with me, I care not what happens to me. Thy favor alone is my objective. I take refuge in the Light of Thy countenance by which the darkness is illumined and on which this world and the other depend, lest Thy anger descend upon me or Thy wrath light upon me. It is for Thee to be satisfied until Thou art well pleased. There is no power and no might save through Thee." SubhanAllah. The wall happened to belong to two brothers who took pity on him and fed him. Their servant, 'Addas became Muslim upon meeting and learning that Muhammad was a Prophet. He then walked back to Makkah and was ready to put with anything patiently for he knew Allah would never leave him. His journey was not in vain as 'Addas became Muslim and this was to be the start of great changes.

Verily, the path of Muslims is not to be easy but we should have trust in Allah and seek refuge with him alone. When we are wronged, let us never forget the power of du'aa' and remember how much Allah loves when his servants go through Jihad in his sake.

So for all those, who have spent their life seeking, know that purity of any thing is found at the Source. If it is love that you seek, seek it through God. Every other stream, not based in His love, poisons the one who drinks from it. And the drinker will continue to drink, until the poison all but kills him. He will continue to die more and more inside, until he stops and finds the pure Source of water.

Once you begin to see everything beautiful as only a reflection of God’s beauty, you will learn to love in the right way: for His sake. Everything and everyone you love with be for, through and because of Him. The foundation of such love is God. So what you hold onto will no longer be just an unstable feeling, a fleeting emotion. And what you chase will no longer be just a temporary high. What you hold, what you chase, what you love, will be God: the *only* thing stable and constant. Thereafter, everything else will be through Him. Everything you give or take or love or don’t love, will be by Him. Not by your nafs. It will be for Him. Not for your nafs.

This means you will love what He loves and not love what He does not love. And when you do love, you will give to the creation—not for what you can get in return from them. You will love and you will give, but you will be sufficed from Him. And the one who is sufficed by God, is the richest and most generous of all lovers. Your love will be by Him, for Him, and because of Him. That is the liberation of the self from servitude to any created thing. And that is freedom. That is happiness.

That is love.


Yup, you know the source.
From : Sister Aisya-Al-Humaira's post (http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=82608&p=543747&viewfull=1#post543747)

Stop your thoughts. You are doing more harm, than good. Treat it. Retreat, if you have to. Be the man, you are meant to be. Let Go...