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Assalaamu 'alaykum!
(1) [This often occurs when] the woman does not fulfill her obligations in her role of taking care of the household and when she goes beyond what is in accord with her feminine nature. Woman have gone out of their houses to work and they have neglected their obligations… She neglects her responsibility with respect to her husband and does not tend to what is in his best interest and what are his needs and she furthermore does not obey him. All of these aspects and more make the husband fed up with the wife and makes him have an aversion to the hated acts that his wife is doing, Psychologically, he will always be disturbed and filled with doubts and suspicions, In fact, this will make him always be thinking about how to get out of such a married life that is disturbing and unpleasant for him.
(2) Nushooz sometimes is exhibited by the wife when she does not carry the responsibilities of married life, when she is ignorant of her rights and responsibilities towards her partner in marriage.(*1)
(3) Sometimes, before marriage, the woman has a imaginary ‘fairy tale’ or ‘romance novel’ perception of what married life is all about. This perception is very distant form the realities of life. She expects married life to be one full of roses without realising the responsibilities that a wife must perform in married life in order for her to have a prosperous marriage. This sad situation is partially because such young ladies are not brought up realizing and carrying out household and family responsibilities before marriage.
(4) Some women like to be in power and control over their marriage and the affairs of their lives. She tries to enforce her will over her husband and his relatives. It is natural for the man to reject such control. In the end, this comes back to harm the wife as she ends in failure and remorse.
(5) Sometimes nushooz is the result of particular characteristics and qualities of the woman. For example, there are some women who like to pester their husbands causing them grief and distress. Some turn their houses into living hells and have many arguments, quarrels and feuds, with and without reason…
(6) Sometimes the cause of a woman’s nushooz are her friends at work who surround her, if they are from those who are evil companions – and refuge is sought in Allaah. She is inclined to follow their ways and behaviour in an conscious manner, either intentionally or unintentionally. This occurs if the personality of the woman is one that lacks independence and mature thinking. She can easily be swayed without clear thinking to rebelliousness, disobedience and showing discontent with her life, however pleasant and desirable her life may be.
(7) [Added by the translator - Jamaal Ad-Deen M. Zarabozo] A common factor is the idea held by many women, undoubtedly influenced by women’s movements of the west, that they are not going to rely upon men or be subservient to a man. This leads some of them to claim that they have to have Ph.D.’s in order to survive and have to have their own source of financial well-being and stability. Hence, they will always be working – as they argue that if you leave the workforce it will be difficult to get back into it later – and will never be satisfied with simply taking care of spousal and household obligations. It seems that they have already determined that their marriage is going to be a failure and, therefore, they are preparing themselves to make the best out of their post-married life.
Footnotes:
(*1) This problem occurs quite frequently among many sisters who were not brought up in Islamic environments and whose conception of married life was very distant from what Islamic married life is like. Such sisters should first study the Quraan and the Sunnah and first understand their marital roles, rights and obligations in Islaam.
[Taken From "Marital Discord (An-Nushooz)" by Sh. Saalih Al-Sadlaan, Pp. 30-31]
(2) Nushooz sometimes is exhibited by the wife when she does not carry the responsibilities of married life, when she is ignorant of her rights and responsibilities towards her partner in marriage.(*1)
(3) Sometimes, before marriage, the woman has a imaginary ‘fairy tale’ or ‘romance novel’ perception of what married life is all about. This perception is very distant form the realities of life. She expects married life to be one full of roses without realising the responsibilities that a wife must perform in married life in order for her to have a prosperous marriage. This sad situation is partially because such young ladies are not brought up realizing and carrying out household and family responsibilities before marriage.
(4) Some women like to be in power and control over their marriage and the affairs of their lives. She tries to enforce her will over her husband and his relatives. It is natural for the man to reject such control. In the end, this comes back to harm the wife as she ends in failure and remorse.
(5) Sometimes nushooz is the result of particular characteristics and qualities of the woman. For example, there are some women who like to pester their husbands causing them grief and distress. Some turn their houses into living hells and have many arguments, quarrels and feuds, with and without reason…
(6) Sometimes the cause of a woman’s nushooz are her friends at work who surround her, if they are from those who are evil companions – and refuge is sought in Allaah. She is inclined to follow their ways and behaviour in an conscious manner, either intentionally or unintentionally. This occurs if the personality of the woman is one that lacks independence and mature thinking. She can easily be swayed without clear thinking to rebelliousness, disobedience and showing discontent with her life, however pleasant and desirable her life may be.
(7) [Added by the translator - Jamaal Ad-Deen M. Zarabozo] A common factor is the idea held by many women, undoubtedly influenced by women’s movements of the west, that they are not going to rely upon men or be subservient to a man. This leads some of them to claim that they have to have Ph.D.’s in order to survive and have to have their own source of financial well-being and stability. Hence, they will always be working – as they argue that if you leave the workforce it will be difficult to get back into it later – and will never be satisfied with simply taking care of spousal and household obligations. It seems that they have already determined that their marriage is going to be a failure and, therefore, they are preparing themselves to make the best out of their post-married life.
Footnotes:
(*1) This problem occurs quite frequently among many sisters who were not brought up in Islamic environments and whose conception of married life was very distant from what Islamic married life is like. Such sisters should first study the Quraan and the Sunnah and first understand their marital roles, rights and obligations in Islaam.
[Taken From "Marital Discord (An-Nushooz)" by Sh. Saalih Al-Sadlaan, Pp. 30-31]