circumcision

[amyaishazouaoui]

:salam2:

In my husbands culture (!!!!!!i know !!!!!) they have a party when they circumcise a by, which seems pretty sick actually. The thing is my boy is now 4 months and still aint been snipped. I was wondering what are the guidelines on age of circumcision and what does islam say about having a party for him.

If it was up to me i would have him snipped long ago and here woul have been no party!!

Pleae help, im constantly battling culture and my hubby says that party with circumcision is in islam. They also leave it until the boys are 4 or 5 years old...sick people!!!!!!!!!



A

 

[Muhammad_A]

Take him to an NHS clinic (the kid, not your husband) and have him snipped there in a nice safe medical environment?

It's not like they can circumcise him twice

 

[ibn azem]

:salam2:

The time for circumcision​

Question:

When should circumcision be done? At adolescence or when the child is small?

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

It is better for circumcision to be done when the child is small, because that is kinder to the child, and so that the child may grow up in a perfect form.

Al-Nawawi said:
It is mustahabb for the child’s guardian to have him circumcised when he is small, because that is kinder to him.
Al-Majmoo’, 1/351.


Al-Bayhaqi (8/324) narrated that Jaabir said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did ‘aqeeqah for al-Hasan and al-Husayn, and he circumcised them when they were seven days old.
The isnaad of this hadeeth is da’eef (weak). See Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 4/383


Hence Imam Ahmad was asked about the time of circumcision, and he said, We have not heard anything about that.


Ibn al-Mundhir said:
There is no report that may be referred to concerning the time of circumcision, and no Sunnah to be followed.
With regard to the time when it becomes obligatory:
Some of the scholars were of the view that it is not obligatory until after puberty, because the duties of sharee’ah are not obligatory until one reaches puberty.


Al-Nawawi said:
Our companions said: The time when circumcision becomes obligatory is after puberty.
Al-Majmoo’, 1/351


Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) favoured the view that it is obligatory before puberty, so that the child will reach puberty in a circumcised state, but the obligation here is upon the guardian, not the child.


Ibn al-Qayyim said:
In my view it is obligatory for the guardian to circumcise the child before puberty, so that he will grow up in a circumcised state, because the duty can only be done in this manner… The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) enjoined fathers to tell their children to pray when they are seven and to smack them if they do not pray when they are ten, so what justification can there be for not circumcising them until after they have reached puberty?


Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:
With regard to circumcision, whenever he wants he can be circumcised, but if he is approaching the age of puberty he should be circumcised as the Arabs used to do, to make sure he does not reach puberty when he is not circumcised.

Al-Fataawa al-Kubra, 1/275.

 

[Happy 2BA Muslim]

:salam2:

With regard to bringing men and women together on a certain day to attend the circumcision and parade the child uncovered in front of them, this is haraam, because it involves uncovering the ‘awrah which Islam dictates should be covered, and forbade us to uncover it.

Similarly, mixing between men and women on this occasion is not permitted, because of the fitnah (temptation) involved and because it goes against the pure sharee’ah.

Islam Q&A

 

[Muhammad_A]

I sometimes think some Muslims should have their "culture" beaten out of them.

Preferably with cricket bats.

Cultural pollution defiles the Ummah. I mean, I'm British, but I don't eat bacon butties or get a***faced every Friday and Saturday night. And you could say they're part of MY culture.

 

[Happy 2BA Muslim]

But if you mean aqeeqah, it is sunnah, and not obligatory.

The Sunnah is to sacrifice the ‘aqeeqah for the new born child. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“With the boy there should be ‘aqeeqah, so shed blood on his behalf and remove the harm (i.e., circumcision).” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 5049; al-Tirmidhi, no. 1434 – he said it is a saheeh hasan hadeeth).

It is permissible to eat from this ‘aqeeqah, and also to feed relatives, friends and the poor. It is permissible to cook it and then give it to others, or to give it to them raw. It was reported that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said concerning the meat of the ‘aqeeqah: “It should be cut into pieces, then eaten and given to others.” (Narrated by Ibn Abi Shaybah in al-Musannaf, 5)

It was narrated that Ibn Seereen and al-Hasan al-Basri said: “Among them the ‘aqeeqah was dealt with like a sacrifice; some would be eaten and some given to others.” (Ibn Abi Shaybah, 5).

Ibn Hazm said: “Some of the ‘aqeeqah should be eaten, and some given as gifts and in charity.” (al-Muhallaa by Ibn Hazm, 6)

It is mustahabb to cook all of the ‘aqeeqah, even the share that is to be given in charity, because it was narrated that some of the Salaf, such as Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him), regarded that as mustahabb. ‘Ataa’ ibn Abi Rabaah used to say concerning the ‘aqeeqah: “It should be cut into pieces, cooked with water and salt, and given as gifts to one's neighbours.” (Narrated by al-Bayhaqi in al-Sunan, no. 19827).

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

 

[Mabsoot]

Assalamu Alaykum,

Look, what culture is this lol? I know that Jews have Party in their Synagogues after circumcision.

In Islam there is no such party of circumcision. Rather, that is from people's culture,

Normally, baby is circumcised after a few weeks, not straight away, what is BEST for the child...

So, Islamic practise must be devoid of any cultural reference. Only that which is part of the Quran and Sunnah is to be done. It will be much more difficult for the child if he is circumcised later...

Wasalam

 

[amyaishazouaoui]

no aqeeqa has been done either. he wants to wait until he has "money" and do it in algeria.

he invited his friends round for dinner when his parents were here and i had to sit in the spare room with my mate until the men had gone ....wich was about .3 pm...then i could eat

 

[Muhammad_A]

It didn't occur to him to bring you something on a tray? At least

 

[amyaishazouaoui]

tired breast feeding mom gets nowt and has to wait for precious men to get out he way

 

[Muhammad_A]

You know, you're not really painting a very complementary picture of the old man

 

[virtualeye]

tired breast feeding mom gets nowt and has to wait for precious men to get out he way

AssalaamuAlaikum,

Sister, please stay humble and patient for your husband. Not because of any reason except for the sake of Allah. And please keep in mind that everything which you think to be sick, might not be sick actually. Never judge Islam by culture. As an example, the kind of language and f words or s words are used in America, In the East, nobody can even dream of using such filthy words in their common language. Infact if some eastern Muslims want to refer something of bad nature then they feel easy to use English for that. Now can you imagine the difference? Not every thought is right, not every action is right. Scale is not our perceptions but scale is Islam, no matter it orders against our thoughts or not.



Wassalaam,
VE

 

[amyaishazouaoui]

I dont mean that circumcision is sick....i just really dont think its appropriate that he waits until my boy is 5 years old then takes him to a foreign country where the risks are far greater for him.
He will not be used to the bacteria, he will not understand the language
it could scar him for life mentally
if anything goes wrong i will be the one stuck in some 3rd world country hospital shouting at the doctors while he gos out with his friends.
I always get sick when i go there so who says my son won't.....thats not including the music and the free mixing etc that will be done while my poor son cries in pain and everyone around him enjoys food. Why can he not do it now when my son is small....like he agreed when i was pregnant. When he cannot remember it.

I just seem to be battling his culture all the time. aqeeqah has to be done in his country.......none of my friends are invited
circumcision has to be done acoording to his culture
cooking and wlecoming guests acoording to his culture..
what the wife does...not acoording to islam but acoording to his culture

why should i not just take my son to the doctor in this country and get it done????

My feelings are not considered here......if i was from a muslim family and ha bacing and support.......this would not be happeneing

 

[Muhammad_A]

As salaamu alaykum wa ramatullah

Did you actually go into this marriage fully informed, sister?

Wa salaam

 

[Mohsin]

Assalamu-alaikum

:salam2:

Dear sister,
Dont feel lonely and left behind. We all are here with you, we are your family and we all here, sincerly pray to Allah SWT to make things easier for you.
:tti_sister: O' Allah grant peace and harmony to our sister in this life and hereafter and make it easy for her. O' Allah give her imaan such strength that she can stand situations like that. O' Allah be with her every moment and open up her heart to Islam. O' Allah give her patience and peace and guide her in everything she does.

Remember sister what Allah says in the Quran:

And whosoever fears Allâh and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). (2) And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allâh, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allâh will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allâh has set a measure for all things. (3)

and at another place Allah assures us that every difficulty we face is not everlasting and that things will change, inshaAllah for good.

Verily, along with every hardship is relief, (5) Verily, along with hardship is relief (i.e. there is one hardship with two reliefs, so one hardship cannot overcome two reliefs) (6) So when you have finished (your occupation), devote yourslef for Allâh's worship. (7) And to your Lord (Alone) turn (all your) intentions and hopes. (8)

InshaAllah sister things will be fine and Allah will suffice. Make rememberance of Allah and give time to Quran and Zikr cuz Allah says in the Quran:

And those who remain patient, seeking their Lord's Countenance, perform As-Salât (Iqâmat-as-Salât), and spend out of that which We have bestowed on them, secretly and openly, and defend evil with good, for such there is a good end;

at another place it says:

Those who believed (in the Oneness of Allâh - Islâmic Monotheism), and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Allâh, Verily, in the remembrance of Allâh do hearts find rest[] (28) Those who believed (in the Oneness of Allâh - Islâmic Monotheism), and work righteousness, Tûbâ (all kinds of happiness ) is for them and a beautiful place of (final) return.

another verse:

And We send down of the Qur'ân that which is a healing and a mercy to those who believe

Take care sister,
Ma'ssalaam

 

[lazim]

Salam Sister,

Are you a revert to islam? The reason I ask this is because you said that if I was from a muslim family then this wouldn't be happening. I sort of know what you mean if this is true. I am happily married to a muslim of pakistani origin and I am an english revert. I have had problems in the past with the whole culture vs islam thing.

For example :- wearing salwaar kameez, I dont mind wearing them on the odd occasion but I am not a pakistani and salwaar kameez is not an islamic dress code. I can wear western clothes and still be covered and modest, or a jilbab etc... But people find it hard to seperate the culture and islam. The problem lies with the older generation mostly as most of them are uneducated and so follow what they were taught by their parents, rather than what the qu'ran, hadiths and sunnah says.

It has got a lot better with time as my husband and his sisters have educated their mother and she has changed to follow islam more rather than the culture. So try to be patient and make dua to allah (swt).

As for circumcision, it is preferred ti perfom it as early as possible. The age of 5 years is very old and will be more painful and will take longer for your son to recover. I know this as I have two boys aged 3 and 1 years. Both my boys had theirs done within weeks of their births and recovered within a couple of days, if that marshallah. My brother in laws son had his done at the age of 3 as he couldnt do it sooner due to a heart defect at birth, his recovery took about a week or two and he was in a lot of pain, so hardly slept at night.

I would try to persuade your'e husband to perfom the circumcision sooner explaining the benefits of this. As for celebrating the circumcision? Im not sure if this is allowed and just know that we have never done this nor any muslim I know? The Aqiqah, however was performed on both occasions and this is strongly advised as it is sunnah.

May allah (swt) guide you inshallah
From your'e sister in islam

 

[Loobna]

I sometimes think some Muslims should have their "culture" beaten out of them.

Preferably with cricket bats.

lol - totally agree but you're gonna need a lot of cricket bats...

 

[samiha]

:salam2:

man, that is just sick sick sick... ew.

I'm not even going to think about that........ or this....

gross

 

[Mohsin]

Assalamu-alaikum

:salam2:
to all my brothers and sisters here on TTI.
its one of the many times that i have witnessed a thread deviating from its purpose. Please ppl try to help ppl who are in trouble rather than getting into something that in not of any good to you or to others.

 

[virtualeye]

Now I get the idea that your husband is surely not following Islam but his personal tradition. Who told him to celebrate the feasts till 3 pm? Who made Music halaal for him? It seems more like clubbing at home.

The guests should be invited in the day time or before evening. I bet those guests must not have even prayed Maghrib and Ishaa if they were invited at evening.


If he cant do Aqeeqah that is ok but doing circumcision is essential to do ASAP. Your husband seems to be very fond of parties. Is it?


I pray to Allah, May Allah give you patience and Hidayah to your husband.


Wassalaam,
VE

I dont mean that circumcision is sick....i just really dont think its appropriate that he waits until my boy is 5 years old then takes him to a foreign country where the risks are far greater for him.
He will not be used to the bacteria, he will not understand the language
it could scar him for life mentally
if anything goes wrong i will be the one stuck in some 3rd world country hospital shouting at the doctors while he gos out with his friends.
I always get sick when i go there so who says my son won't.....thats not including the music and the free mixing etc that will be done while my poor son cries in pain and everyone around him enjoys food. Why can he not do it now when my son is small....like he agreed when i was pregnant. When he cannot remember it.

I just seem to be battling his culture all the time. aqeeqah has to be done in his country.......none of my friends are invited
circumcision has to be done acoording to his culture
cooking and wlecoming guests acoording to his culture..
what the wife does...not acoording to islam but acoording to his culture

why should i not just take my son to the doctor in this country and get it done????

My feelings are not considered here......if i was from a muslim family and ha bacing and support.......this would not be happeneing