closet muslimah

[mahalemama]

I am I guess what you would call a closet muslim, and I am finding out that I am not alone. We worship and live a life of islam in our private homes but in public we do not cover or show open signs of islam for fear of racism. Especially in the area where I live racism is very rampid and I fear for my families safety. I have meet other women from my city who are also closet muslims. I have serious feelings of guilt associated with my behavior in reguards to a life of islam and I am wondering if there are others out there who live this way. I have prayed for the strength to "come out" so to speek and am still praying. Any advice?

 

[Karima]

Asalamualikum,

This is a good term, 'closet', in being a muslima, especially with the appropriate way to dress with hijab. One does not have to 'hide' when he or she converts to christianity, judaism, etc. no one can tell.

So the challenges of 'reverts' to Islam needs to be understood by those whom have 'been born' into muslim families. Wearing a hijab is accepted by most muslims. Wearing a hijab, coming from a non-muslim family, is like wearing a costume, because those who are not muslim do not understand.

So being a 'closet' muslim is a hurdle, which is not fun. Muslimas and muslims need to try to imagine how difficult this can be, when 'hiding' what one believes to be right for God/Allah, and cannot show this for fear of being misunderstood.

Saying the Shehaddah is one thing, and then living this out in the open is a totally difficult thing to do. It was easy walking as a christian...and changing to being Catholic...through conversion later in my years. No one knew, except where I attended church....no biggie. I did not walk into a store and everyone STARED at me because I was Catholic.

There is a challenge that a 'revert' faces every moment of being a new muslim out in the world. I have been told that Allah is most important. Yes, this is true....and to believe this in my heart, and then be rediculed by 'looks' of wearing a simple scarf....is really not cool.

Ironically, the way I dress when out in public covers my body, except for my head. All I have to do is slip on the scarf, then a whole 'different' look appears...just by a hijab.

Being a closet muslima is for the person, like myself, who is aware of my surroundings. Allah knows all and sees all. InshaAllah, I will overcome this hurdle...and please only Allah.

It could be worse....a 'closet' 'something else'......( "hey mom and dad, I'm......!!!")

 

[alhamdulillah]

I am I guess what you would call a closet muslim, and I am finding out that I am not alone. We worship and live a life of islam in our private homes but in public we do not cover or show open signs of islam for fear of racism. Especially in the area where I live racism is very rampid and I fear for my families safety. I have meet other women from my city who are also closet muslims. I have serious feelings of guilt associated with my behavior in reguards to a life of islam and I am wondering if there are others out there who live this way. I have prayed for the strength to "come out" so to speek and am still praying. Any advice?

Bismillah hi'Rahman ni'Raheem,

In the Name of Allah i begin an i send upon you the greetings of peace,
My dearest Ukthi, Assalamualaykum wa'Rahmatullahi wa'Barakatuhu.

Insha'Allah you're in the best of health and high Eman.

Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Alamin; Dear sister, my first advice to you would be; be Patient; 2nd, to have Tawwkul (Reliance) In Allah through that beautiful patience Insha'Allah.

See, as believers, we should fear the CREATOR and not the Creation.....
i understand completely what you mean....but what a beauty it is to live Islam openly!

Remember that Allah ORDERD Alayhis sallatu wassalam to proclaim/spread 'The Message' openly...at one point it was quite discreet, but Allah's Orders are the final Orders and we should do our best to go by it Insha'Allah.

you mentioned: "We worship and live a life of islam in our private homes but in public we do not cover or show open signs of islam for fear of racism" we need to remember "To Allah we Belong and to HIM we shall Return" dear sister, when it comes to race; Islam is the first to break all race barriers as we believe in UNITY through DIVERSITY Alhamdulillah; yes its true we as Muslims might get a lot of racial remarks whether in front of us or behinde our backs; but all i can say to this one is that its best to ignore and to keep patience. We are put to test through out our lives, if we have firm Belief in Allah and the Last Day, then Insha'Allah these comments wont mean anything to us as Victory will be for the Muslims on Yaum Al-Qiyyamah (Insha'Allah).

Really, Sabr is a beautiful thing - you must remember to keep your intentions pure for the Sake of Allah. Put Allah first in ALL your affairs and you will Insha'Allah succeed!

Remember also "Allah never changes a people's state until they do not change what is in themselves" (Qur'an 13:12 Surah Ar-Rad Verse 12).

na'am nobodys perfect, but we can try to be by implementing the beautiful character of our beloved Prophet (Peace be upon him) and may Allah make that easy for us all Ameen.

you also mentioned: "I have serious feelings of guilt associated with my behavior in reguards to a life of islam" dear sister, dont let Shaytaan play with your mind! Atleast you have that feeling of guilt which means you are trying to better yourself, my advice to you would be, dont give up! Pray to Allah to help you to give you strength to overcome your fears and that your heart is filled with the love of Islam.

You mentioned also: "I fear for my families safety" Sister, Wallahi; Allah is with the believers, As i said; put Allah first in all your affairs and you'll see the difference, you'll be successful Insha'Allah. Help your family even to love Allah, stand together, support eachother Insha'Allah.

Allah also says: "Enter into Islam perfectly..." read this beautiful Verse also ukthi: "O you who have believed, do not follow the footsteps of Shaytan. And whoever follows the footsteps of Shaytan - indeed, he enjoins immorality and wrongdoing. And if it were not for the favour of Allah and His Mercy, not one of you would ever have been pure, ever, but Allah purifies whom He Wills, and Allah is Hearing, and Knowing." (Qur'an 24:21 Surah Noor Verse 21)

My last advice to you would be, be amongst righteous people. Choose your friends wisely because a friend is a person who will either advice you to do good or will call you to evil whereby you will be doomed! But the best amongst your companions are the ones when you look at them, they remind you of ALLAH this is why its very important to be amongst good people and to avoid the company of the currupters Insha'Allah.

For example, you have a friend who has a perfume shop and you visit him there, you enter his/her shop. You come out smelling so lovely, it was his company as such. On the other hand, you have friends that heavly smoke; you dont smoke, but they do. You're hanging amongst them in their crowd, when you leave, you end up smelling like they do. People wont care whether you've been smoking or not, they wouldnt want to know, rather they would automatically ASSUME that YOU are the one who smoked!

Be careful dear sis, try going to some sister circles or some where where you can benefit of Knowledge. Try taking a step towards Allah, in return He'll take 10 towards you. You go walking towards Allah, He'll come running towards you ukthi. Allah loves the believers and wouldnt want to Burden them.

Never take Allah's Commands as a burden e.g. Hijaab or Salah rather feel blessed that Allah has chosen you to be a Muslim/Muslimah

May Allah guide us all to that which pleases Him Ameen, and may He Subhana hu wa ta'ala give us all the ability to be steadfast in our Deen and helps us always to be a part of the Prophets' Ummah (peace be upon him) Ameen Ya Rabb!

May Allah make things easy for you dear sis and help us all to be amongst good companions Ameen. If theres any good in what ive said, then its from Allah alone, anything wrongly said is from me and Shaytaan!

I leave you in the View of Ar-Raheem

Ma'Salama
your sister in Islam...

p.s-May Allah save us all from hypocrisy of all sorts Ameen...!

 

[Karima]

Wasalallam,

May Allah save us all from hypocrisy of all sorts Ameen...!

So true! Allah sees all and knows all.

"We worship and live a life of islam in our private homes but in public we do not cover or show open signs of islam for fear of racism" we need to remember "To Allah we Belong and to HIM we shall Return" dear sister, when it comes to race; Islam is the first to break all race barriers as we believe in UNITY through DIVERSITY Alhamdulillah; yes its true we as Muslims might get a lot of racial remarks whether in front of us or behinde our backs; but all i can say to this one is that its best to ignore and to keep patience. We are put to test through out our lives, if we have firm Belief in Allah and the Last Day, then Insha'Allah these comments wont mean anything to us as Victory will be for the Muslims on Yaum Al-Qiyyamah (Insha'Allah).

There is a 'barrier' when one is covered with a hijab, out of respect solely to Allah, and of herself. This is for protection from the worldly eyes. And it is forming a barrier among other people.

How can this to say that Islam breaks all race barriers? There are all colors, races, who attend the same church. Race is universal and accepted, not only in Islam.

The comments about being a closet muslim needs to be taken for understanding what 'reverts' go through. Not whether or not one walks through smoke of a cigarette,even smoked by a muslim person, nor strong perfume at the mall. I agree, it is best to avoid this.

Being a closet muslim can give you an opportunity to talk with others of what you have learned about Islam. It does not need to be kept secret. This can open doors to others who know 'nothing' about the Angel Gabriel who came to Muhammad...which is the whole beginning of Islam, in the first place. That is the common denominator of all faiths. The Angel Gabriel came to Daniel, and to Mary.

In all actuality, it is being a closet muslima for not wearing a hijab.

Are there any muslims who can 'sense' what this is about?

May Allah guide us to his path of understanding.

 

[zarah]

Assalamu Alaikum



:salam2: sisters,

:ma: for the advice that been given!

May Allah(Swt) reward you for your efforts,to trying to ease this sisters problem.

Allah(Swt) know best.

 

[alhamdulillah]

"How can this to say that Islam breaks all race barriers? There are all colors, races, who attend the same church. Race is universal and accepted, not only in Islam".

Bismillah,

:salam2: dear Sister Kristina, Insha'Allah your well.

im sorry to say but i think you misunderstood me....
what i ment by that quote was that truely, Islam really does show unity through diversity..yes other religions do too, this is run through the world i guess, but my due respect to you dear sister, there is sometimes a division amongst churches and the people that go to it. you have a church for black people and a seperate church for white people....my due respect for all races and maybe their are people from all different races in one church, and yes there is a some what division amongst the Muslims too but when it it comes to Masjids, we dont have a Masjid particularly for white brothers and sisters or black brothers and sisters or arabs, asians brothers and sisters etc....Islam is for all and thus is why i said that; as Alayhis sallatu wassalam proclaimed to us that a white person is not superear than a black person nor is a black person superear than a white person. An arab is not superear than a non-arab nor is a non-arab superear than an arab. We all are equal in the sight of Allah.

When you go to Makkah/Madina and you see the unity of people from all different races standing together shoulder to shoulder feet to feet, really you realise that Islam is a welcoming religion for all and a muslim wouldnt and shouldnt judge another muslim because of his racial background.

"The comments about being a closet muslim needs to be taken for understanding what 'reverts' go through. Not whether or not one walks through smoke of a cigarette,even smoked by a muslim person, nor strong perfume at the mall. I agree, it is best to avoid this".

once again dear sister i think you misunderstood me. Wallahi my advice was sincere for the sister and yes you could be amongst a group of people who are bad yet Muslims....the whole point is whether you're a closet Muslim, an openly practicing Muslim or a person from any other faith...YOU MUST BE AMONGST GOOD COMPANY, that was just an example......because association BREEDS assimilation!

na'am i prob am not the best person to give advice to or about a closet muslim, but the reality is, we should help one another to the best of our ability Insha'Allah, and anything that i adviced goes to ME first and foremost. Alhamdulillah ala kuli Haal!

May Allah forgive me if ive said anything wrong....may He Subhana hu wa Ta'ala guide us all Ameen.

Jazak'ALLAH Khairan for your message dearest sis, and may Allah make things easy for us All Ameen ya Rabb!
i leave you in the View of Ar-Raheem

Ma'Salama
your sister in Islam.....

 

[Karima]

Wasallam,

Your comment to this cleared up everything. I almost deleted my own posts due to the sensitive topic.

The answers for direction have been good, and with good intentions. I believe that we have our experiences to learn from. It is with your time to share the purpose of being fully muslim that is to be taken seriously.

reality is, we should help one another to the best of our ability Insha'Allah, and anything that i adviced goes to ME first and foremost. Alhamdulillah ala kuli Haal!

This has been a help for me, as well, to understand....

Thank you for your very well-explained answers to this topic.

Forgive any mis-understood comments on my posts.

Sallam,
Kristina....

 

[alhamdulillah]

Wasallam,

Your comment to this cleared up everything. I almost deleted my own posts due to the sensitive topic.

The answers for direction have been good, and with good intentions. I believe that we have our experiences to learn from. It is with your time to share the purpose of being fully muslim that is to be taken seriously.



This has been a help for me, as well, to understand....

Thank you for your very well-explained answers to this topic.

Forgive any mis-understood comments on my posts.

Sallam,
Kristina....

Bismillah,

Assalamualaykum dear sis once again...lol
really i apologise if ive said anything wrong....if theres any good in what ive said then All praise is to ALLAH ALONE...anything wrong is on me Wallahi....

Jazak'Allah Khairan for your understanding and may Allah exapand our love for one another Ameen.

i leave you all in Allah's Care

Ma'Salama
your sister in Islam......

 

[Andalusian]

:salam2:
Allah says in surah The Chambers (al-Hujurat) N°49 verse n°13
"O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full Knowledge and is well-acquainted (with all things)."

I was searching for a longtime in the Arabic Quran and also in the others translations for the word "race" in the Quran but i did not find it.
The word "race" was introduce in Biology and after in Human Sciences and people was use to teach it etc. but today in University this word was banned because it was used to make difference inside mankind and to make levels between people so as to judge them. However some others schools etc. use it till today.
Wa Allaho A'lam.

 

[alhamdulillah]

:salam2:
Allah says in surah The Chambers (al-Hujurat) N°49 verse n°13
"O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full Knowledge and is well-acquainted (with all things)."

I was searching for a longtime in the Arabic Quran and also in the others translations for the word "race" in the Quran but i did not find it.
The word "race" was introduce in Biology and after in Human Sciences and people was use to teach it etc. but today in University this word was banned because it was used to make difference inside mankind and to make levels between people so as to judge them. However some others schools etc. use it till today.
Wa Allaho A'lam.

Bismillah,

thats true Masha'ALLAH...

we are not to judge anyone..and Allah is the Judge of all things...

Ma'Salama
your sister in Islam.....

 

[Andalusian]

Bismillah,

thats true Masha'ALLAH...

we are not to judge anyone..and Allah is the Judge of all things...

Ma'Salama
your sister in Islam.....

:salam2: sister
I appreciate the debate between you and sister Kristina, specially the respect between you both
Wasalam

 

[alhamdulillah]

:salam2: sister
I appreciate the debate between you and sister Kristina, specially the respect between you both
Wasalam

Bismillah hi'Rahman ni'Raheem,

In the Name of Allah i begin and i return upon you the greetings of peace,

Noble Br, Wa'Alaikum'Assalam wa'Rahmatullahi wa'Barakatuhu.

Jazak'Allah Khairan for you message. Wallahi i dont think we were debating as it wasnt my intention and im pretty sure it wasnt on sister Kristina's mind either. Everything was just sincere advice which goes to myself first and foremost!

Just as a reminder, lets all focus on the following Hadith Insha'Allah:

Jabir (radi'Allah anhu) said "Allah's Messenger (Peace be upon him) said "Do not acquire knowledge in order to compete with the scholars, nor to argue with the ignorant, nor to gain mastery over the gatherings. Since whoever does that, then; THE FIRE! THE FIRE!" " (Ibn Maajah)

May Allah help us all to benefit from one another, to learn from one another, to accpet sincere advice when given, to fill our hearts with respect for one another and to love each other for the sake of Allah, Ameen Ya Rabb!

Never the less, May He Subhana hu wa Ta'ala help us to keep Sabr through out our lives; may He also remove from us any ill thoughts we might have against our brother or sister in Islam and help us to taste hallaawatul Eman (the sweetness of Eman) Ameen!

Jazak'Allah Khairan for your appreciation :ma:

I leave you in the View of Ar-Raheem,

Ma'Salama
your sister in Islam.....

 

[alhamdulillah]

Message for sister Mahalemama

Bismillah hi'Rahman ni'Raheem,

In the Name of Allah i begin and i send upon you the greetings of peace,

Dear sister Mahalemama; Assalamualaykum wa'Rahmatullahi wa'Barakatuhu

Insha'Allah your doing just fine,

Just wanted to ask, is everything ok? please remember that we are one big family Masha'Allah and if theres anything we can do to help, Insha'Allah we're more than willing to - Right sister Kristina ?

I leave you in Allah's Care

Ma'Salama
your sister in Islam....

 

[Andalusian]

Wa Alaikoum Assalam WA Rahmato Allah Wa Barakatuh
I understand my sister, don't worry of that
Yes sure sister "fawqqa koli di 'ilmine 'alime and Allah is the All-Knowing"
and also sister Kristina
May Allah help us