CONFUSED

[Basicofislam]

:salam2: Dear sister and brothers i have a question. Let me tell you the situation then maybe you can answer it better. There are two married couples and two unmarried men. Now both the women wear hijab. The married men and unmarried men have known each other for 20 years since they were kids. They go to a restaurant. Is according to Islam they cant sit together just to have food??? Or they can?????? As far as i know there is no ruling in the Quran or hadith that says that if the women are wearing hijab. They have there mehram with them. That they cant be in the same room with a non mehram. Now the funny thing is the couple who have raised this question that one cant sit on the same table go to restaurants. That means if a nonmehram nonmuslim guy is sitting on the other table is ok. I cant understand this.Also i feel the women can sit on one end the husbands in the middle and the unmarried men in the other end. can somebody put some light on this issue. If anyone knows any fatwas

 

[Noor to shine]

:salam2: brother
In or family we used to sit together couples with nonemuhrems but since a long times we have separated men together and women together unless the men are muhrems to the women we feel it is better......I think that there are certain verses in quran which can give you a guidelines in such circumstances:

24:30 Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and to be mindful of their chastity: this will be most con*ducive to their purity – [and,] verily, God is aware of all that they do.
24:31 And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and to be mindful of their chastity, and not to display their charms [in public] beyond what may [decently] be apparent thereof; hence, let them draw their head-coverings over their bosoms. And let them not display [more of] their charms to any but their husbands, or their fathers, or their husbands’ fathers, or their sons, or their husbands’ Sons, or their brothers, or their brothers’ sons, or their sisters’ sons, or their womenfolk, or those whom they rightfully possess, or such male attendants as are beyond all sexual desire, or children that are as yet unaware of women’s nakedness; and let them not swing their legs [in walking] so as to draw attention to their hidden charms And [always], O you believers - all of you - turn unto God in repentance, so that you might attain to a happy state!


33:53 O YOU who have attained to faith! Do not enter the Prophet’s dwellings unless you are given leave; [and when invited] to a meal, do not come [so early as] to wait for it to be readied: but whenever you are invited, enter [at the proper time]; and when you have partaken of the meal, disperse without lingering for the sake of mere talk: that, behold, might give offence to the Prophet, and yet he might feel shy of [asking] you [to leave]: but God is not shy of [teaching you] what is right. [68] And [as for the Prophet’s wives,] whenever you ask them for anything that you need, ask them from behind a screen: [69] this will but deepen the purity of your hearts and theirs. Moreover, it does not behove you to give offence to God’s Apostle - just as it would not behove you ever to marry his widows after he has passed away: [70] that, verily, would be an enormity in the sight of God.

Quran

 

[Basicofislam]

Assalamalikum sister but what about restaurants and beside that the surah you have used is about khimaar and not about the subject i am asking. Cause if you know that women used to go to the prophet SAW and meet him ask him questions. After the prophet passed away they used to go to abu bakr RA. And the screen that was asked was only for the prophets wives and not for everybody. Yes some people do it out of love for our rasool and his wives. But what you are implying to is that naqab is fard. Anyway nobody has men and women party together. But this is if you have gone out of town u are going to a restaurant then what. At home one can sit seperatly.

 

[Marwa17]

like public places not in our private homes right?

 

[Basicofislam]

Assalamalikum. Yes i am talking about a public place and not at home. The couple goes to restaraunts all the time but has a problem sitting with a childhood friend. Even though the unmarried childhood friend is more religious then him.

 

[Globalpeace]

Asslamo Allaikum Brother,

The more knowledgeable Brothers/Sisters can answer the question in depth, however in my limited knowledge; Muslims (couples or singles) should not inter-mingle with members of opposite sex and sitting at the same table is tantamount to such a contact.

Your question raises a few issues:

1) Hijab is not a piece of clothing but entails behaviour, inter-mingling, modesty and many other things equally applicable to men and women
2) We in the west often have to deal with people of opposite sex at work, university and so on but we should always keep the Islamic guidelines in mind
3) In Muslim countries (prime example Saudi Arabia) Hijab is practised as a cultural practise rather then Islamic manner i.e. you can see that women are covered head to toe on the street but as soon as you go to a restaurant (family section) many are sitting there with hair uncovered and then they don their Veil when exiting back on the streets
4) Rules of Hijab apply to all who you cannot marry and the religious knowledge/practice of the person is irrelevant i.e. Hijab must be observed to a Muslim scholar in the same manner as it is to be observed to a Non-practising Muslim
5) Rules of Hijab apply as soon as a person is mature in Islam so it doesn’t matter if I used to play with my cousin when she & I were 5 years old but at my age (over 30) I & her must observe the rules of Hijab

 

[Noor to shine]

:salam2: brother

If you read the verse in Surat alhzab you find this :

And [as for the Prophet’s wives,] whenever you ask them for anything that you need, ask them from behind a screen: this will but deepen the purity of your hearts and theirs.

Watch again please: this will but deepen the purity of your hearts and theirs.

A very important goal in Islam is to deepen the purity of hearts . The prophet salla Allah alaihi wa sallam and his wifes are the bright perfect example for Islam .

I am not giving Fatwa .....I am just explaining my experience and understanding of Islam.
with regards

 

[Dawoodi]

salam w

salam walaikum w

if i'm married and i love my wife, why should i permit sit my self and my wife with other non mahram on the same table?

i'm a revert and from my point of view everyting starts with a glance, how would u know if your friend would not start looking at your partner with another eyes?

came on ! we all know about this how many cases we know of infidelity and the primary couse start with friends.

many rules in islam are about preventing evil like; alcohol, free mix..etc

there is a clear reason for it.

and i think the rules of hijab are realy clear it must be to preserve purity, chastity, and to provide protection.

if some one desagree with it it is becose his looking for excuses and folowing his nafs or maybe to naive.

MAy Allah subhanah wata'allah gide us all amen.


salamu alikum w.


ohh i like to add something.

there is a big diference from a sister who look advice from a knowlegable person for x reason and another thing is free intermingle and chichat.
and even then be sure that the hijab its esential.

hijab in his full meaning for bouth.

sw

 

[Basicofislam]

:salam2:
Question
Dear dignified scholars, I would like to know what does Islam say about mixing between men and women as many say that it is haram (unlawful) while others give a loose rein to themselves in this regard.


Date
28/Nov/2005

Name of Counsellor
Yusuf Al-Qaradawi

Topic
Mixing



Answer



In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.


All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear sister in Islam, thank you very much for having confidence in us, and we implore Allah to guide you to the best, and to direct you to that which pleases Him, Ameen.



In Islam, contacts between men and women are permissible as long as both parties adhere to the teachings of Islam and ethical morals. There is nothing wrong that men and women co-operate together on that which is lawful and permissible such as acquiring beneficial knowledge or good work.



As regards the issue of mixing between sexes, we would like to quote for you the following fatwa issued by the eminent Muslim scholar Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi:




In principle, contacts between men and women are not totally rejected; rather, recommendable so long as a noble objective is intended and the subject itself is lawful such as acquiring beneficial knowledge, good work, charitable project, obligatory Jihad or many other deeds that require the efforts and the co-operation the both sexes.

However, this by no means calls for transgressing the limits and forgetting about the nature of both sexes. In all their dealings, both men and women are to abide by the teachings of Islam that call for co-operation on the basis of goodness and piety while observing the rules of morality and politeness.


The following are the conditions that must be met when there is a contact between both sexes:

1- Both parties should adhere to lowering the gaze. No lustful look should exist. Almighty Allah says: [Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest. That is purer for them. Lo! Allah is aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornment save to their own husbands or fathers or husbands' fathers, or their sons or their husbands' sons, or their brothers or their brothers' sons or sisters' sons, or their women, or their slaves, or male attendants who lack vigour, or children who know naught of women's nakedness. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And turn unto Allah together, O believers, in order that ye may succeed.] (An-Nur: 30-31)

2- A Muslim woman should observe the Muslim code of dressing. The Muslim dress for women, as well-known, covers the whole body save for the face and the hands. It is neither tight nor light in a way that describes the features of the body.

3- General morality should be adhered to. In other words, a woman should be serious in speech and decent in way of walking, nipping any trial of Satan to spread immorality in the bud. Also, no perfumes are to be worn while being away from home, for the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Any woman who wears perfumes and then passes by a group of men and they smell it, she is an adulteress.”

4-No man and woman are allowed to be together in a place where no other males exist, for the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “(Doing so) their third mate will be Satan i.e. leading them to sin.” This applies also to the relatives of the husband as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Beware of sitting with women alone!” They (the Companions) said: “What about the relative of the husband, O Messenger of Allah?” He said: “A relative of the husband is death i.e. the cause of death.” This is because a relative of a husband may stay for a long time and thus the danger of sin becomes greater.

5- Finally, we would like to note that all these contacts are not to be given loose rein. They are to be carried out according to need and reasonable interaction. Contacting men, no Muslim woman is allowed to forget about her nature or her role as a woman and instructor of all Muslim generations

 

[Umm3mar]

Salamo Aleikom

I do not have the capacity to issue a fatwa. I believe others have posted better responses in regard to the legality of the issue.

As a married person I can only add my experience and opinion.

We at times go visit another married couple. (We are doing so less and less because of the fitnah it causes). We know them because my husband's brother married the woman's sister. Sometimes we visit their home, sometimes we go to parks together, or to a restaurant, or bowling. Each time afterward there is an argument in the car "He was...she said...Well, you..."

It is difficult to cast down one's sight while socializing with another couple. Shaytan enters the heart and whispers "Look at the way he.....Why did she..?

No one knows what happens in the home of another, but perhaps the socializing is causing marital problems and the husband is offering this as a "cover story" to mask the true problem.