Could it be...?

[palestine]

:salam2: I've tried many times to ignore the negativity of others but it seems that day after day it gets worse. I haven't really seen anyone who is positive. My hopes and dreams were to help the muslim ummah. to feed and cloth the poor, to graduate with a good degree and to study the deen so well that i'll be able to make da'wah in some way. Today as i was talking to a cousin of mine she said to me "why waste your time in learning, soon your gonna end up becoming a housewife, taking care of children and feeding your family, and your not going to get any farther than that." she told me that all these dreams and hopes were really not something a woman can achieve. I still believe that i can achieve all of that. but she made it clear that i'd have to choose between having a family and helping the ummah. Can't i do both? is it really true that will just stay home 24/7, that my knowledge will be of no benefit....that i'm just wasting time on dreaming about these things? could it be that she's right? she gave me examples of many live people whom i know that haven't really succeed. She told me that once i do get married and i have children inshAllah that these dreams will blow away like the dust, she said that she'd laugh on the day when i get divorced because i want to help the ummah. I told her that she was being negative and trying to convince me of something that i will never give up on. Why, why can't people be positive, or am i the one who's dreams are nothing more than fantasies. I'm heartbroken and sad. I need your advice dearest family....i really do. If it comes to choosing between helping the ummah, making peace and getting married and throwing away all those dreams....well i think i'd rather not ever get married. Only what Allah wills will happen.....but these are possibilities of my future. and i really don't want to give up on helping the ummah. it's my life. my dream in this world and the thing that brings happiness to my heart. Please do advice me.

 

[alkathiri]

:salam2:

Do not worry sister.

Thats culture belief
You can do both. Just look at Aisha(RA) , our ummirulmukminin

 

[hager]

well

hi,
u look like me..sister
i'm from egypt/female/18 years old

i do my best..to get high degree..then i study the deen in the izahr..then studies in kids treatment..
i want to win nobel prize...it 's my wish
alot of ppl's see...me strange..
cuz,i have alotttttt of goals...
but,i want to do anything to wake up..our umha,,,

once ,i decide to love..as any girl..wish to have lover...care..about her..so on
but,i fail
cuz,my relationship was wrong...was with amercain guy..through net
he refuse to turn..and i can't force him,anyway,i wish for him the best

since..that i decide not to love again..
i'd prefere....helping the umah .than marriage...
although i'm nice girl,i feel that i will be wonderful mother..lovely wife...

but umha...first..

 

[ditta]

Asalaamu'Alykum,

Can you do both?

Yes. Why? Well helping the Ummah, starts at home first, well i think it does because until you have nothing sorted at home, how will you help others?

Yassir Fazaga: "Think Globally, Act Locally" (I am waiting for someone to tell me "stop using that" :shymuslima1

When you have children Insh'Allah, Will you not be nurturing children to help the Ummah?

I have seen a lot of centres where sisters, i think probably use that to give Da'wah. Internet is a major tool for Dawah as well, so its not all limited.

To be honest, a sister who is actually married will be able to give a more effective reply. Sorry on the ineffectiveness of my reply.

Alhamdulilah

Wasalam

 

[bint S]

:salam2:

yeh sis, these are just cultural issues.

this ilm can benefit the ummah even if u were to have a dozen kids, u just hav to look at the number of sisters teaching madrassas in their own homes to children and adults alike at the very least, and who would these children and sisters turn to for knowledge if there were no people to teach in their own houses?

and dont forget your own children's up bringing will depend on the ilm you hav.

sister press on and dont giv up.

barakallahu feek.:blackhijab::blackhijab::blackhijab:

 

[Optimist]

Wa alaikoom assalam sister

Her negativity is just another obstacle on your path. People who want to make a change will always be faced with apathy and sometimes hostility .... this is just the way it is.

The prophet (pbuh) was married and still achieved so much. Most of the companions were married as well (that's males & females) because it is Sunnah from the prophet to be married. Marriage can actually be means of support to you ... you just need to select the right partner who shares your dreams.

May Allah grant you happiness in this world and the hereafter. Amin.

 

[alkathiri]

:salam2:


this ilm can benefit the ummah even if u were to have a dozen kids, u just hav to look at the number of sisters teaching madrassas in their own homes to children and adults alike at the very least, and who would these children and sisters turn to for knowledge if there were no people to teach in their own houses?

and dont forget your own children's up bringing will depend on the ilm you hav.

Very true. Being a brother myself, trust me this is what some brothers are looking for . They want sisters that are knowledgeable in islam and worldy knowledge

Wa alaikoom assalam sister

Her negativity is just another obstacle on your path. People who want to make a change will always be faced with apathy and sometimes hostility .... this is just the way it is.

The prophet (pbuh) was married and still achieved so much. Most of the companions were married as well (that's males & females) because it is Sunnah from the prophet to be married. Marriage can actually be means of support to you ... you just need to select the right partner who shares your dreams.

May Allah grant you happiness in this world and the hereafter. Amin.

I could not have said it any better. MashAllah

 

[dianek]

I would say that you have a perk that in Islam that non-muslims don't have to help them help society......Your future husband has to provide financially for you and your family and you have the right to work outside the home! And seeing as you won't need to work for money, you will have plenty of time for volunteer work and dawah and in a lot scenarios, you could take your children with you. Whereas non-muslim women in most cases HAS TO WORK to help the family survive for one reason or another and find it hard to come up with time for volunteering. I am married with 4 children, well if you count the husband, then 5 kids, LOL!!!! I work Full time out of the home. If my husband lived up to his islamic requirements of providing for us 100%, I could work part time for $$$ in my pocket and work part time in a volunteer organization. You don't have to sit at home and be JUST a wife and mother. But also, be sure your future husband knows of your intent so that he doesn't expect you to be available to him 24/7.

 

[must91]

please stay away from your cousin and look to the women of sahaba (ra(

:salam2:

Islam owes greatly to women. The first person to accept our Nabi Muhammad (SWS) message (Islam) was a women - Khadija (ra) (the Prophet's wife) and the first person to be killed (shahidah) for Islam was Sumaiya (ra) mother of Ammaar (ra).

The first person to recieve Allah's salaam amongst the ummah of Muhammed (SWS) is Khadija (ra) even before Abu Bakr (ra) about whom our Nabi said that after the Nabis and Rasools, Abu Bakr is the best amongst the human beings.

I believe if you put Khadija's (ra) comforting words said to the Prophet of Allah (SWT) and her husband Muhammad (SWS) at the time when the Nabi of Allah came scared and confused from the cave Hira after recieving the first revelation from Allah (SWT) through malak ul wahi - Jibraeel (AS) is more weightier and bigger then all the efforts of all muslim men and women done for the deen of Islam since then and till the day of judgment.

Such is the beauty of Khadija (ra) words that it potrayed the true essence of the Prophet's character, calibre and the trueness of the Allah's word at the most crucial juncture of Islam.

Those word in returned filled the Prophet's heart with wisdom, confidence and courage.

Every muslim women in this world can atleast follow in our mother Khadija (ra) footsteps.

Lady, when you get married the least you could do is to whisper these lovely words in your dh year " honey i love you! so make me proud in the hereafter amongst the women of jannah by being called the wife of a shaheed or the wife of a daee or a sabirah who sacrifised all her desires for the deen of Allah(SWT)"

I guarantee you these words said with sincerity and purity of your intention will be equal to all the effort done by your husband through out his life for the deen of Allah (SWT).

As far as using your degree for Islam, i dont know what you're really studying but it would be a good choice to do medicine if you're interested.

or else specialize in one sector where muslim women might need you the most. Acquire a good amount of deeni knowledge through some good female madrassas. If you can then become an alimah or hafizah and part that knowledge to other womenfolks of this ummah.

one very important advice - keep that desire to do something for Islam, burning in your heart. Make dua to Allah (SWT) often to guide you, give a lot of sadqah, for the Prophet (SWS) encouraged this habit amongst his wives and please stay away from your cousin beacuse she seems to have lost hope. And one who loses hope loses imaan.