Assalamu'alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh,
I am not a brother, though. I actually made some thoughts whether to post here or not but thinking that if somehow what I'm going to write will help you if not much, so here I am. And even as I write, the person who needs to ponder and remember about it the most is, me.
To say that I have secular parents, not exactly correctly. They still do their obligatory duties; pray, fast, zakaah but they do not have Islaamic mind as in view everything in this world from the deen POV.
Even when we've layed out our daleel and justifications why we are doing what we are i.e: "Why I'd like to get married early despite that I haven't yet finish study", "Why I want to constantly wear abaya", why this and that, but they are still within their own worlds.
It wasn't one easy task, dealing with parents who aren't on the same road as you are. The best thing to do and it should be done persistently: Advice them WITH love, present a good akhlaaq to them, teach them slowly what the deen teaches you in various aspects of life.
I emphasized WITH love because always it is hard when we've tried all these years but the outcome is still the same. Friends who knows about it insisted me to do this:
Open the door of forgiveness to your parents and Allaah will surely open the door of His Forgiveness to you.
Why does it reaches until the extent of forgiveness is needed? Well I'm sure being a man who wants to practice the deen to the fullest, you must have face before where you were being opposed or criticize from your parents to do what you feel is the best for you. In this situation, you should be wise enough to prioritize. If it is a matter than doesn't include the disobedient to The Creator, then prioritizing over your parents is a must. If it will cause disobedient to Allaah, then surely you must not fulfill of their wish but still treat them in a nice and humble manner.
You must realize this one important fact: That Allaah does not burden a human that which is beyond his capability. Thus even when we feel that we've given up on our family or questioning why we have such parents/family, know that Allaah doesn't burden His slaves; meaning that we are capable to go through this test. And among the hikmaah that you can gain is that, Allaah has chosen you to be the son whom will guide your parents back to the true Islaamic teachings with His Will. Aminn.
And also, we should be thankful that we still have our parents in this world. There are people who became yateem (orphan) since they were little. They never knew of their parents, they never felt the love of having parents, and perhaps some might not even know their parents' name! So long that our parents are still given life by Allaah, do as much good deeds towards them as you can. Make them happy and be thankful that they've raised you until you've become the person you are today.
A dear sister wrote this one amazing statement and let us (who are going through similar problem) keep this in our mind:
"Transform the way you see the ones who have harmed you. See them as your greatest gift because they are your fast pass to the forgiveness of Allaah! By forgiving them, you're forgiven by Allaah."
Don't forget to keep praying for your parents so that when you've open the door of forgiveness to them, Allaah will shower His Mercy upon you, Ameen.
"Our Lord, forgive me and my parents and the believers the Day the account is established." [Ibrahim, 14:41]
