easily angry/sad.. honoring mother..

Mujahed

New Member
Asalamu aleykum wr wb dear sisters and brothers..

Am so confuse. I get angry so easily, and specialy when I feel like people are unfair to me.. Personaly am very kind and emotional.
I dont know who to talk to and what to say, and I feel shame, to talk about it to an imaam.. I do my best to be a good muslim, and am the only one who practice Islam at my home. My allah guide my mother and siblings.. Amin..

Sometimes I see my mom doin somethin that may be harram, or she is unfair with my sisters (when she gets angry she insults you or other people). I tell her to fear Allah, and she usely get angry with me..

So today, I had an argue with my mother. My little bother was ennoying the kids (my aunts kids and my siblings) and they couldnt get peace from him, so I punished him by putting him in a room to teach him the consequences of what he did, so he may not do it again.
So while I was in the kitchen, I dont know what he said to my mother and she had heard him screaming and crying (he is 5years old). She came to me and start beating and yelling about I had pinched and slapped him.. Am a human (allah forgive me) and shaitan overcame me, so I got angry and said that I didnt do that, but she keep saying that I pinched him so I called my bother and asked him what I did to him?? He said that I didnt pinched him..
Even though he said that I didnt do it, mother keept yelling that I did that, so I told her to fear allah and stop saying that, for if she keept saying somethin I didnt do that it was like lying, mother asked me if I was sying she was lyin and I said yes coz she keep saying somethin I didnt do eventhougth my bother was saying that I didnt do that (I was screaming while saying all that, coz I wanted to be heard). I know there is no excuse for doing that, she is my mother and should always look down. Mother have a right to do what ever she want to,. I love my mother, but I just find it very hard to satisfy her.. Alhamdulillahi I dont leave without saying sorry to her..

I do wonder, all the time.. I know that we should respect our parents and honour them, but what if what they are doin is wrong?? Are we supposed to give them right of all the things that is not fair or harram, and which we know is damb??
As for my mother if she gets angry she insults people, which of course is familiar. My siblings, the sisters from the Masjid etc..

Tell me some stories, somethin that will help me hold my anger. Somethin to think of when mother do somethin like that again and which will help not doin anythin.. The only things that helps me and makes me stop sometimes is to think of that I will NEVER enter jannah when mother is angry or sad with me..

:wasalam:
 

rightpath_357

Junior Member
Bro, first- how many siblings do u have? Is ur dad at home? She might be suffering from stress, and that will make her angry easily. Maybe you should discuss with her that you do love her, but sometimes it's beyond ur reach what u should do to satisfy her. Give her a couple of gifts. Not that they have to be like a microwave r anything :lol:- just try to keep ur siblings occupied so they dont bother her. When she is frustrated, try to calm her down. Try doing some housework for her. anything big or small, that will take a burden off her and she'll be happy to be rid of. if ur not sure how to do something in house work- ask her before u try to do it, because u might make it worse. When u get angry at her, when she's yelling, beating, try to reason with her. try to remain calm, then she will most prob answer calmly. Look a urself again- DID u do anything to burden/hurt her? if she's stressed out about work, anything, talk it over with her before she can release it on anyone else.
Hope it helps.
Salam
 

ummyasiin

Striving for Janatul firdous
As salaamu Alaikii Inshallah ukthi, when your umm flips out like that, the very best thing to do is walk AWAY, AWAY, AWAY or just say nothing at all and it will burn a whole in your tongue but trust silence is golden, becuz us as females we are emotional and we react of of impulse so instesd of tryin 2prove a piont jus fall back till things calm and return in a stable frame of mind, that way shaytan does not control the situation. also, Rightpath gave sum very helpful advise, help keep ur siblings out her way for a few hours or wash the dishes voluntary and she will not be angry so fast, As a umm of 3 I love and appreciate when my 11yr old help me out it takes a load off and I dont yell that mch, and I am the ONLY muslim in my family so when my umm acts up although she isnt muslim I have to bare down and trust I want 2do sum unspeakable things 2her @ tyms lol but Jannah lies at her feet mashallah. hope this was insightful for you. May Allah grant you ease and a peace of mind AMEEN.
 

ahmed_indian

to Allah we belong
:salam2: brother,

may Allah reward u for ur iman and islam i think u have change u strategies. u know not everybody will change themselves if u'll say "fear Allah". many become more arrogant as its difficult for most of us to accept that we are wrong.

be polite....be gentle......be calm. prophet :saw: preached islam in a calm way. he never became angry or used abusive words.

tell ur family about Allah's greatness, His blessings, enjoyment of paradise and hell. its necessary to melt the heart first. mayb just 5 min. daily.

if u find ur mom doing something haram..say u her " o mother, i fear Allah will not like it. u r my mother. u took care of me. i dont want to see u in trouble after death."

keep making Dua's bro.

PS: generally speaking, our parents are going to be with us forever. if we fall short in our duties, mayb their unfair anger towards us can fill that gap on Judgment Day.:)
 

Ibrahim_nur

Junior Member
Reply all her quetions gently, kindly. Even if she's wrong.
If she's doing something harraam, talk to her kindly, come closer to her,
teach her that what she's doing is wrong.
DON'T YOU EVER SAY MOM UR WRONG.
DON'T SIS OR BRO.
If what your mom is saying is wrong, just look down and answer her question gently, don't shout at her.
Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: My Lord! Bestow on them thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood. (17:23)

READ THIS TOO.
...Be grateful to Me and to both your parents; to Me is the eventual coming. But if they strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration), and follow the way of those who turn to me (in love): in the end the return of you all is to Me, then will I inform you of what you did (31:15)

These verses make it clear that we must honour our parents, appreciate their sacrifices and efforts for us, and do our best for them. This is required regardless of whether they are Muslims or not.:SMILY139:
 
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