naaad
mu'minah
:salam2:
i am right now in a very difficult state of mind. i feel guilt as heavy as the mountains. yesterday i went to the doctor(non-muslim) for the 3rd time and she said after seeing reports(won't go in detail), that an operation had to be done. as soon as i heard that, so many wierd thoughts were rolling in my mind. i was thinking somthing & speaking something. so whatever doctor was asking me, i was giving her quick answers without thinking- just whatever was reaching my toungue. as a result, she got a wrong &bad impression about me(atleast,thats what i felt).though she was very much impressed by my mother.
the moment i was out of her room, i went in retrospect & replayed the conversation. it was not disrespectful or rude but somthing not right, you know how those quick thoughtless answers are. i was shattered because i read so much about how muslims character and manners should be and how it influences people's opinion about Islam. i felt that i was spoiling the image of islam and muslims. more than operation's tension i had this guilt. i also felt that i disappointed my mother. she advices us to be good alwayz no matter how others behave with us.i wept sooooo much &asked ALLAH to forgive me. i really hope HE forgives me.
though, she was not very pleasant in speech.i went back to her and apologized. i told her how i was tensed. she became alright & said- no dont say that, i can understand. i liked u thats y i spoke to you so much, otherwise i dont talk to people much. i thought there must be a problem otherwise, you people (muslims) are very sobre.
when she said that, my guess turned into certainty. i felt even worse.....
now i have taken everything in my stride and am learning un4gettable lessons from my mistakes......
Please my brothers and sisters, pray for me and ask ALLAH forgivness for me....
May ALLAH help and grant victory to our brothers &sisters in Gaza and everywhere else.................our problems are nothing compared to theirs!
:salam2::shymuslima1:
i am right now in a very difficult state of mind. i feel guilt as heavy as the mountains. yesterday i went to the doctor(non-muslim) for the 3rd time and she said after seeing reports(won't go in detail), that an operation had to be done. as soon as i heard that, so many wierd thoughts were rolling in my mind. i was thinking somthing & speaking something. so whatever doctor was asking me, i was giving her quick answers without thinking- just whatever was reaching my toungue. as a result, she got a wrong &bad impression about me(atleast,thats what i felt).though she was very much impressed by my mother.
the moment i was out of her room, i went in retrospect & replayed the conversation. it was not disrespectful or rude but somthing not right, you know how those quick thoughtless answers are. i was shattered because i read so much about how muslims character and manners should be and how it influences people's opinion about Islam. i felt that i was spoiling the image of islam and muslims. more than operation's tension i had this guilt. i also felt that i disappointed my mother. she advices us to be good alwayz no matter how others behave with us.i wept sooooo much &asked ALLAH to forgive me. i really hope HE forgives me.
though, she was not very pleasant in speech.i went back to her and apologized. i told her how i was tensed. she became alright & said- no dont say that, i can understand. i liked u thats y i spoke to you so much, otherwise i dont talk to people much. i thought there must be a problem otherwise, you people (muslims) are very sobre.
when she said that, my guess turned into certainty. i felt even worse.....
now i have taken everything in my stride and am learning un4gettable lessons from my mistakes......
Please my brothers and sisters, pray for me and ask ALLAH forgivness for me....
May ALLAH help and grant victory to our brothers &sisters in Gaza and everywhere else.................our problems are nothing compared to theirs!
:salam2::shymuslima1:
has taught us INSHALLAH...
