feeling guilty

[allahsservant]

i feel very guilty, for my 16 year old sis has been searching for a husband, and at her young age! she is communicating with a 30 year old from anoher state different from ours. should i tell her to end the relationship, or what? she has told him that she is 18 and gave him her phone # also, and im afraid he will call. what should i do, because she wants to get married to him,but she doesnt really know him? he thinks shes 18. she wants to get married to him in about two years...what should i tell her to do about this dilemma? well, the reason why she wants to be with him is because she really, really,really wants a husband and she doesnt think she can wait.... even though shes 16! she is muslim and so am i, but our parents arent...how can we go about finding a good husband when our parents dont want aything to do with islam, and there arent any other muslims where we live, except for one muslim family?

 

[boupj]

First off, do your parents know??? Because I'm sure they wouldn't agree with this, and secondly a thirty year old man who wants to marry an 18 year old girl he doesn't really know, without permission from the parents, then he's probably not good. I suggest you advise your sister to cut off the relationship, because if it worries you then something isn't right, and the relationship doesn't sound very Islamic.

 

[proud2bemuslim]

:salam2:

Have your sister watch this clip. Its short (2min) and to the point.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydTZ4GEYLxY

 

[Globalpeace]

Why?

Asslamo Allaikum,

The most important question is why is she communicating with a 30 year old; even when she has told him that she is 18?

What are her reasons?

I think you or someone else needs to sit down with her & have a conversation about her actions.

i feel very guilty, for my 16 year old sis has been searching for a husband, and at her young age! she is communicating with a 30 year old from anoher state different from ours. should i tell her to end the relationship, or what? she has told him that she is 18 and gave him her phone # also, and im afraid he will call. what should i do, because she wants to get married to him,but she doesnt really know him? he thinks shes 18. she wants to get married to him in about two years...what should i tell her to do about this dilemma?

 

[TheHumbleWun]

i feel very guilty, for my 16 year old sis has been searching for a husband, and at her young age! she is communicating with a 30 year old from anoher state different from ours. should i tell her to end the relationship, or what? she has told him that she is 18 and gave him her phone # also, and im afraid he will call. what should i do, because she wants to get married to him,but she doesnt really know him? he thinks shes 18. she wants to get married to him in about two years...what should i tell her to do about this dilemma? well, the reason why she wants to be with him is because she really, really,really wants a husband and she doesnt think she can wait.... even though shes 16!

Sounds kind of crazy. Is your sister Muslim? is the guy? Why is she concealing the fact that she is 16 and telling the guy she's 18? Could she be lying about other things? Why is the guy trying to marry her? Does he have other motives???

Personally, if I was your brother I would cut all the phone lines and send her to her room ....just kiddin lol...I would take some sort of initiative and tell your parents about this...are your parents Muslim? maybe they can find a her a good and perhaps a young guy from a good family for her? Tell her to be patient and put her trust to Allah that she'll find someone. Shouldn't she focus more on school and trying to go to college than trying to find a husband. I know when I was that young, getting married never came to my little brain.

walaakum salaam

 

[Globalpeace]

Get Help!

Asslamo Allaikum Sister,

In my opinion it is irrelevant whether she is Muslim or Not!

Don't want to scare ya; but there are some serious issues here that need to be discussed with the young lady in question.

If you are unable to have a frank conversation; please get someone who can.

Personally forbidding her or grounding her or getting the Internet connection closed will have little effect as she will find some other ways of contacting him.

So it is critical to know why she is doing it? Is she rebelling? Is she angry? Is she crying for help? What is the issue?

 

[umm hussain]

The internet is full of weirdos, how does she know what this person is like or if he is who he says he is He might be lying just like she is. If a 30yearl old wants to marry a 16 or 18 year old through the right channels there is absolutely nothing wrong with that as long as she has reached puberty. Islamically age isnt an issue but piety is.

 

[KhalidalAsadullah]

:salam2:


Any relationship based on lies will fail. Why don't you get the 30 year olds number, call him, and tell him the real situation? That will take some guts but i'm sure if you could scare him off that would be better for your sister then disicplining her.

 

[addan]

hi bro

salamu alakum
bro u have enough i sink becouse of video

 

[addan]

hi sis

salamu alakum
i sink the age is not mater but the contact some one se dont now that is mater.but she good if she undarstand halal marrage that was good
sis dont look age it was ok{16_30}

 

[Globalpeace]

This is wrong in my humble opinion!

Asslamo Allaikum respected Sister,

In the context of the conversation and in the light of details provided by the Sister; I would have to disagree with you.

Based on the facts which are:

A 16 year old (presumed 18) girl communicating with a 30 year old on the Internet and deciding to marry (either initiated by him or her)

is just wrong!

If the guys shows up & he is NOT 30 then it gets even more wrong...


Yep! I agree that if done properly in an Islamic manner then there is no Islamic aversion to it! But in this case there is no Sunnah, no Wali nothing to start talking about Islamic judgement on the problem!

I hope you will forgive me for disagreeing with you; but my disagreement is based on facts provided & contextualised based on current society & it may change if other things come to light!

The internet is full of weirdos, how does she know what this person is like or if he is who he says he is He might be lying just like she is. If a 30yearl old wants to marry a 16 or 18 year old through the right channels there is absolutely nothing wrong with that as long as she has reached puberty. Islamically age isnt an issue but piety is.