Forgiveness?

lightofnur

Junior Member
Assalammualaikum all.

I've been struggling with a recent dilemma. It hasn't hit me this hard before, but for some reason, it hits me. It's about forgiveness and being forgiven.

I know Allah is the All Merciful, Oft-Forgiving, and I love Him. I know He doesn't punish anyone without reasons, I know that His choices are the best, I know He is the best Judge. But I'm struggling with this issue of doing sins and believing, that when a major hardship or trouble comes later, I am responsible for the hardship. It's because of me, I feel.

How did I come to this theory? I might have misunderstood a verse in the Quran and applied it to real life when the hardships came:

“And whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of what your hands have earned. And He pardons much” [42:30]

So every time I do a wrong, I practically wince, thinking that this is going to come back to me later. I know this is a deterrent for greater sins to come, but it's painful. I think that even after Allah has forgiven me, I will get hit by that counter for the sins I've done. And then there is this great anticipation/expectation etc. after I've committed a sin, of the punishment. So I wait and wait and it's a horrid kind of dread, to wait for your blow to hit you.

And then there's the fact of getting hit by the hardships as well. I sail through them well, Alhamdulillah, but when I do get hit, it starts me thinking: "See, I knew it'll come to me." It may be that I have a confused notion, because hardships will come in the future, whether or not I have done sins, and it's possible that I am misreading that as punishments. But how do you differentiate between the two? And how do you stop the feeling of dread?

I never had this problem before. I use to believe in the Mercy of Allah, thinking that a Merciful God would not want to purposely inflict harm on me. I used to think that whatever hardships would come, I would deal with it, because Allah is with me. And after hardship, there is relief. But like I said, I have this horrible, sinking dread of the punishment to come. And there's also the fact that after I do wrong, almost ALWAYS after that notion of fear, just as I expected, some form of hardship would come, after all. I convince myself that I wouldn't/don't know for sure, and I can't predict the future, nor can I judge Allah's actions, nau'zubillah.

Please don't mistake me when I talk on sins. The sins I do, Alhamdulillah, are not grievous nor am I a bad person in particular. I love Allah very much and I try my very best to be a good Muslim. I do follow Allah's orders as it is not only His orders, but it does good for me, whether I see it or not. I'm happy in my religion. I ask forgiveness whenever I do wrong. My dilemma is just the confusion on how sins are paid back/countered/etc. and how Allah's forgiveness comes over that. On how to be forgiven and to rid that feeling of dread.

Perhaps I feel that way because the people who surround me sometimes do things that are not appropriate within Allah's rules, and since I live with them, directly or indirectly I'm somehow involved. A little, more than a little or nothing at all, and I feel that whatever hardships is my fault also to blame. I don't want to backbite about it though.

I've read these magnificent articles on it (which are actually two articles from a series of them and have benefited many), and Alhamdulillah, it did some good:

Thinking Well of Allah

and:

Forgiveness

I'm very sorry for my lengthy post. Thanks very much to those who answer. Alhamdulillah and may Allah Bless you all.
 

Bawar

Struggling2Surrender
:wasalam: sister

Praise Allah almighty with his beautiful names, who is just and merciful.

Afflictions are not necessarily a punishment. It can be for many reasons. For example:

It can be a deterrance from indulging in grevious sins that could lead you to hell (may Allah protect you and us all from it). It can function as warning signs about the dangers ahead.

It can be a test. Some people are better tested in abundance of wealth and happiness and others are tested in hardships. A Muslim may be tested on both grounds to test his/her faith.

It can be an opportunity to earn the pleasure of Allah almighty and seek nearness to Him by being patient and accept His will and turn to Him rather than turn away from Him.

It can be for purification. Afflictions of this life purify a Muslim of his/her sins.

Prophets of Allah were mostly tested with hardships and afflections. Very rarely do we see prophets as wealthy and powerful kings such as Prophet Solomon/Salman peace be upon him.

Remember that Allah is forgiving and merciful and knows our intentions and what is in our hearts. When He wills, He forgives all sins.

'Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful." ' Quran 39:53
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,

A post like yours is beneficial to all.

When we pray and we bow do not our sins leave our souls?

We are all going to sin. We can't help it. But as one knowledgeable and respected brother told me one good deed leads to another. Prayer leads to more prayer. Constant remembrance of Allah in our daily activities protects us.

He is Oft-Forgiving and Most Merciful.

We ask Allah to put us on the straight path. We do this at least 15 times a day. Now lets think this out. I am asking the Creator of the Heavens and the Earth to guide me to the right path. I acknowledge in my salat that He answers my prayers. I have to believe this with all my heart. That is my anchor.

Yeah, I am human and I sin...dumb little sins...but I counteract that with prayer and resolved faith that I will walk away from that action/thought forever, Insha'Allah.

When we are surronded by those with little or no faith..I keep a distance. I will be polite but I leave. Someone may think you have an attitude if you remain aloof but hey you have bigger things on your mind.

Hope this makes sense.
 

lightofnur

Junior Member
:wasalam: sister

Praise Allah almighty with his beautiful names, who is just and merciful.

Afflictions are not necessarily a punishment. It can be for many reasons. For example:

It can be a deterrance from indulging in grevious sins that could lead you to hell (may Allah protect you and us all from it). It can function as warning signs about the dangers ahead.

It can be a test. Some people are better tested in abundance of wealth and happiness and others are tested in hardships. A Muslim may be tested on both grounds to test his/her faith.

It can be an opportunity to earn the pleasure of Allah almighty and seek nearness to Him by being patient and accept His will and turn to Him rather than turn away from Him.

It can be for purification. Afflictions of this life purify a Muslim of his/her sins.

Prophets of Allah were mostly tested with hardships and afflections. Very rarely do we see prophets as wealthy and powerful kings such as Prophet Solomon/Salman peace be upon him.

Remember that Allah is forgiving and merciful and knows our intentions and what is in our hearts. When He wills, He forgives all sins.

'Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful." ' Quran 39:53

Wa'alaikumussalam brother.

You narrowed it down really well. I feel a little better. Thank you so much for dispelling some of that confusion. But when we are forgiven, are we still inflicted with hardships are punishment? That is one lingering question for me.

Assalaam walaikum,

A post like yours is beneficial to all.

When we pray and we bow do not our sins leave our souls?

We are all going to sin. We can't help it. But as one knowledgeable and respected brother told me one good deed leads to another. Prayer leads to more prayer. Constant remembrance of Allah in our daily activities protects us.

He is Oft-Forgiving and Most Merciful.

We ask Allah to put us on the straight path. We do this at least 15 times a day. Now lets think this out. I am asking the Creator of the Heavens and the Earth to guide me to the right path. I acknowledge in my salat that He answers my prayers. I have to believe this with all my heart. That is my anchor.

Yeah, I am human and I sin...dumb little sins...but I counteract that with prayer and resolved faith that I will walk away from that action/thought forever, Insha'Allah.

When we are surronded by those with little or no faith..I keep a distance. I will be polite but I leave. Someone may think you have an attitude if you remain aloof but hey you have bigger things on your mind.

Hope this makes sense.

Wa'alaikumussalam, sis. Thanks so so much for this answer.

When you said:

When we pray and we bow do not our sins leave our souls?

my eyes watered instantly. That was really beautiful. I've forgotten.
You're right. I have to believe the truth you mentioned with all my heart. It seems the Shaitan has been doing away with my memory and forces me to forget about Allah's Mercy and think about fear and dread only. I'm doing the exact opposite of what Allah has told us to do.

Your last bit about staying away from those who have little or no faith ... I can't. It's because this is about my family. My family are good people, they are reasonably religious. Not to backbite, but it's my dad. I wish I didn't have to say this, but I guess to clear my confusion ....

You see, my dad wants me to get a good education. But he's doing this by all the wrong means. He's making me skip a year without doing all the college work and pushing me to university with a passable grade (even when I haven't done the college year to get it and probably if I did, would have gotten higher). My higher education term is supposed to start in June/July, and so I'm applying to colleges. I'm so conflicted since I highly disagree with the method used. I insisted I go classes and rightfully earn the marks needed, but he flat out said "No." I've tried to talk with him, but he keeps pushing away my thoughts and says it's for my future. I'm so depressed because this method is unfair for other students and is against my principles. To me, it feels like cheating. You can't suggest to attempt talking to my dad or using Quranic sources because I know he knows it's wrong, and he has a temper. My dad loves me, but this isn't the way.

I've somehow managed to buy study resources as in, to study on my own and at least attend the exam, which weirdly, was agreed. But everyone knows that the final exam isn't what counts 100% for college, and that other things like attendance/coursework/etc. counts too. I'm applying for every college I can get, hoping they'd accept me and that I needn't follow my dad's way, that I'd go through the whole year. But then he says I shouldn't because he already has a seat for me. I cry and cry and ask Allah for help. I know this is not halal. I've asked help from people, but they can't help. I'm so scared my education won't be halal. I'm so scared of punishment. And it's not even my fault. :(
 
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