Fostering/Adopting Muslim Children?

[Globalpeace]

Asslamo Allaikum All,

Everything is in the hands of Allah (SWT) and may Allah (SWT) make it easy for all of us.

Have all of those Brothers/Sisters who are trying to conceive a child and are finding it difficult considered adoption or fostering? I have some contacts with Muslims (here in UK) who are desperately trying to find Muslim families who will foster Muslim children (short, medium, long term); I was involved with some Afghani boys (2 14 year olds) and we had a hard time finding a practising Muslim family!

We (me & the Mrs) have talked about this but with 2 small kids of our own (2 & 4); we are stretched as it is with our resources.

But If someone is interested here in the UK, I will be glad to help and provide some contact details.

Just in case Brothers/Sisters are not aware of; there are many broken Muslim families here in the UK who need help & social services have to remove children from their custody (at least in the short term); your local council maintains a register for such families.

I know there are FIQH & SOCIAL considerations but just wanted to bring this important point (in my view) to others.

 

[albinsaid09]

http://www.sunnipath.com

What is the fiqh of adopting a child?


In the name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful

Adopting a child, bringing it up, seeing to its education and training and being kind and good towards him/her is very virtuous and a commendable act. If the child is an orphan and has no support, then the reward is much more.

In a Hadith recorded by Imam al-Bukhari in his Sahih, the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “I and the guardian of the orphan will be in Paradise like this”, and the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) joined his index finger with his middle finger. Meaning that the one who looks after the orphan will be very close to the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) in Paradise.

This is an extremely neglected Sunnah of our beloved Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace) and we should definitely encourage ourselves and others towards this direction.

However, it should always be kept in mind that according to Shariah, the lineage of the adopted child does not become established with the adoptive parents. Adoption of a child has no legal effect in Shariah. The child should not be attributed except to the natural parents, and not to those who have adopted him/her.

This is a fundamental principle and ruling laid down by the Holy Qura’n. The people in the days of ignorance (Jahiliyya) used to treat an adopted child as the real one in all aspects. The Qura’n condemned this practice with the following verse:

“And He (Allah) did not make your adopted sons your sons. That is only your speech by your mouths. And Allah guides you to the right path. Call them by (the names of) their (real) fathers. It is more just in the sight of Allah”. (Surah al-Ahzab,v:4, 5)

The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) adopted the Companion Zaid ibn Haritha (Allah be pleased with him) and the other companions (Allah be pleased with them) initially referred to him as “Zaid ibn Muhammad.” When the abovementioned verse of the Qura’n was revealed, they reverted to calling him “Zaid ibn Haritha.”

In view of this important principle of Shariah, the following points need to be taken in to consideration:

1) Legal adoption is not permissible. This means that one cannot change the lineage of an adopted child and substitute the names of his real parents with adoptive parents. The child should always be attributed to the real parents so that it becomes common knowledge amongst the people who the real parents are.

2)If the adoptive mother breastfeeds the adopted child, then it becomes their foster child. In this case the child will be similar to the real children with regards to the Nikah and Hijab rules, i.e. the child can not marry the foster parent, neither any of the foster parent’s children. However with regards to inheritance, it will not inherit from the family.

3)If the adoptive mother does not breastfeed the adopted child, then the relationship of fosterage will not be established and the child will be classed as other children with regards to Nikah and Hijab. An adopted child can marry it’s adoptive parents and their children. Also if a male child is adopted by a woman, she will observe Hijab from him after he reaches the age of puberty and visa versa. The adopted child will also (after puberty) observe Hijab with the adoptive parent’s children.

4)An adopted child will not inherit from his adoptive parents and to regard an adopted child as a real child in the matter of inheritance is incorrect. However, it should be remembered that although the child cannot inherit from the adoptive parents, it is permissible, rather advisable to make a bequest in its favor in ones life time. This will for the child can be made up to one third of ones wealth, provided the child is not already included in the list of inheritors.

5)It is necessary to allow the adopted child to meet it’s real parents. Preventing him/her from meeting them and creating any obstacles will be considered as oppression.

6)Good behavior and conduct should be displayed towards the adopted children, especially if they are orphans. If a person cannot look after the adopted child in a proper manner, then he should not adopt, otherwise he will earn punishment rather than reward.

7)The wealth of the adopted child who has not yet reached puberty, should be kept safe. If there is a need to spend the money on the child then one can utilize the child’s money upon him. However it should be spent with extreme care and there should be no extravagance. Loans cannot be taken from the child’s money, nor can it be given in charity.

From the foregoing, all your queries should be answered, nevertheless here are the answers to your questions:

(1)Yes, the boy will be considered a brother to the children whose mother breast fed him, and therefore all the rules Nikah will apply.

(2)Yes, the boy will be a Mahram to the woman who breast fed her and thus Nikah with her or her children will be not allowed.

(3)No, the boy will not be a Mahram to the adoptive mother and will have to observe Hijab with her after reaching puberty and also the rules of Nikah will apply.

And only Allah knows best

Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari

Leicester, UK

 

[Globalpeace]

Asslamo Allaikum,

I know that at-least in the UK there is a serious need and the problem becomes far greater when you factor in hundreds of Bosnian/African (Seira Leon) Muslim kids which are adopted by Non-Muslim families (here in the UK)....Remeber all those Muslim charities years ago bringing back Muslim kids from Bosnia (It was a disaster of unprecedented scales)...Now add to it Albanian Muslim kids

Some of you may be shocked to know that there are a large number of Christian Missionary families adopting Muslim kids (particulalry from War torn and famine stricken areas)...I used to have statistics about this matter but stopped keeping track because it got pretty depressing treating a child (Muslim or Non-Muslim) like a statistic.

 

[umm hussain]

asalam alaikum

Sorry for going a bit off topic but are there any options to sponsor children, i.e help towards food, clothing, shelter etc in muslim countries.

Adoption or sponsoring sounds really good but I cant imagine observing hijab in front of a boy who has reached puberty. I mean I have to wear hijab outside the house then having to wear hijab inside as well, to be honest I think that will be really difficult, being in Hijab close to 24hours a day only taking it off when in bed and also he wont be my mahram, that means he cant be in the house alone with me and where can he go he will have no other house besides this one. Same goes for adopting a girl, she will have to wear hijab all the time in front of my husband and she cant be alone with him in the house as well. I think this will become really complicated.

 

[Globalpeace]

Asslamo Allaikum Sister,

You are absolutely right and I have pointed to some of the Social & Fiqh difficulties but what is the alternative for a lot of broken Muslim families where kids need help and end up growing in Non-Muslim families?

I beleive that there is a difference of opinion amongst Scholars on rules of Hijab to adopted children...There was a massive influx of Muslim kids in the late 70's and 80's (& even in the 90's) into the Muslim world and the scholars have dealt with this subject (due to prevailing circumstances) in great detail (on a global level).

I would be very interested in Comments from differenet Brothers/Sisters as this is a clear problem and the usage of a forum like TTI is a good place to discuss these things as you get to hear different points of views.

 

[hambaAllah]

:salam2:

I was staying in a goverment run social welfare home as toddler of 9 months,, never knowing my parents or even my religion...all the other toddlers was being adopted by the expats(we still under British rule then) but not me,,,so i cried whenever it happen to be parents visiting days which falls on i think every saturday, fortnightly..wishing i have parents just like those lucky kids n never even thought about the religion just wishing n hoping someone kind enough wanted to adopt me....i wa grouped with the non-muslims when till i was 7 yrs old then when its time to register for school i found out that im a malay and suppose to be a muslim....a muslim welfare home has just been built in 1965 n i was transferred there...i guess when one is an orphan one looks more forward to have someone to love u then one think about religion,, for my that is...but Alhamdulillah Allah swt answered my call for love and was adopted by a muslim couple who happened to have 6 boys and another adopted daughter(althou they are not practicing muslim. may Allah swt blessed and forgive them) I was sooo depressed at that age that i was even thinking of being a lived-in servant to any muslim family who wants to employ a servant.For our govt policy is only Muslim cud adopt muslim orphans, dont have to be practising muslim but sort of well off, cud afford to feed, clothes and educated another child....and most people prefer adopting babies than says a 6 or 12 yrs old orphans.... :tti_sister: May Allah swt protects and blessed all the orphans who r seeking for some kind of love and refuge fm some kind soul

 

[Globalpeace]

Asslamo Allaikum,

I can't say that I have the experience to understand your point of view; but I have spoken to a number of Muslim children (both in USA & UK) from broken families and it is horrible; hence my attempt to highlight the problem or at least make Brothers/Sisters aware that it exists...

There are many Ayaas of the Qur'aan and numerous Ahadeeth about taking care of Orphans; but the Problem in the West is far more severe as NOT taking care of these children would mean that they MAY not remain Muslims...Furthermore unfortunately there is a LARGE number of marraiges in the West that break down & I would love to present statistics (if I had any) BUT I am willing to bet that percentage of marraige breakdown amongst Muslims in the West is far higher then in the East (& in my mind lack of Support for Muslims in the West is a contributing factor); most Muslim communities, leaders & Imams work on the "Ostrich Principle" i.e. if I bury my head in the Sand; then I don't see a problem and it doesn't exist.

Folks! Broken families, Orphans, Poverty, Drugs & Alcohol, Gambling, Domestic violence (and even nastier things), Prostitution, Forced marraiges, all exist in our communities...

In short a vast majority of problems faced by Muslims are "Social"; just read up the messages put up by Muslims on this site; unfortuanetly people try to solve it in terms of "Fiqh" [I am unable to put what is in mind in words]

A lot of people turn to HARAM because they have issues and not necessarily because they are NOT aware of something being HARAM [Again, I am unable to put what is in mind in words]

I hope that I have not offended any Brothers/Sisters by bringing an issue to the forefront.

P.S: When you teach Kids like me {despite not being trained as a teacher} you can see that there is a lot of anger, frustration and stuff built into these kids....You also see that their behavior towards other people in general and towards women in particular is culture based and needs to be aligned with the Qur'aan and the Sunnah URGENTLY

 

[fathom]

urgent answer please

Assalam alaikom brothers and sisters,can anyone listen and advise if whats the best thing to do with my adoption of my maid when she embrace islam while working with me?yes my maid embrace islam when she meet a muslim guy on net,but she she wear hijab but not steadfast in her prayer which i always reminded her everytime we pray.Idid not convince her just i observe and show to her what islam is and as an example to her.We bring her to islamic school but when we decided to move her in islamic country i feel guilty if we abandoned her living in her family as a christian coz shes the only muslim in her family.Because going abroad is very difficult and we want her to go with us,coz were holding family visa so my husband and i talk to her parents if we can change her name and being our child only in islam and for travel purpose only so she can go with us.By the help of muslim affairs her paper was changed as my older daughter as ive said just for travel and for being her muslim.Being her guardian are we responsible for looking her future husband if she wanted too?but of course we will always ask permission to her real parents even if they trusted us to take good care of thier lady.Also shes big enough when we decided to adopt her shes 24 years old.Is it haram adopting her for the purpose of islam to broaden her knowledge and to let her accept islam not only for that guy but from her deepest heart and to experience living in muslim country too.We came from the Philippines and now we are in DOHA,QATAR.


needs to be guided and enligtened your sister here,
jazzak allahu khairan to all

:tti_sister:

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam,

Adoption is a delicate matter in Islam. I know as I've looked into adoption due to the fact that so far I am unable to conceive children. Inshallah maybe that will change though.

In the meantime I wonder why one needs to adopt an adult to broaden their Islamic knowledge? Is there a way you can just treat her as your sister since that is what she is in Islam? Why the need for all the paperwork? Is this a migrant issue?

Certain things about adoption....the child.....or in this case adult...is to keep their biological family name and not to change it to the adoptive parents. They are supposed to be permitted to keep contact with their biological family......but then this doesn't seem to be an issue in your case. Is there a way you can be declared her legal guardian instead her adoptive parents?

~Sarah

 

[umm hussain]

I didn't think it was possible to adopt an adult. Do you mean sponsoring her for her to get a Visa or something of that sort. It seems she is ready to marry, why doesnt she just get married to the brother she is interested in as long as he is pious and in that way she can get her Visa sorted out.

 

[virtualeye]

AssalaamuAlaikum,

Sister,

Your adopted daughter will be nonMahram to your husband. And it is best to marry your adopted daughter. It is already her age for marriage and there is no need to keep her single and keep on worrying what to do.

I hope some brother/sister will give you scholastic answer to this but in my view any female who can lawfully marry your husband, she will come under the definition of nonMahram. Your adopted daughter should viel herself in front of your husband and from your sons (if you have and they are adult).

Anyway, arranging her marriage is the best solution.

And Allah SWT knows the best and I know negligible.

Wassalaam,
VE

Assalam alaikom brothers and sisters,can anyone listen and advise if whats the best thing to do with my adoption of my maid when she embrace islam while working with me?yes my maid embrace islam when she meet a muslim guy on net,but she she wear hijab but not steadfast in her prayer which i always reminded her everytime we pray.Idid not convince her just i observe and show to her what islam is and as an example to her.We bring her to islamic school but when we decided to move her in islamic country i feel guilty if we abandoned her living in her family as a christian coz shes the only muslim in her family.Because going abroad is very difficult and we want her to go with us,coz were holding family visa so my husband and i talk to her parents if we can change her name and being our child only in islam and for travel purpose only so she can go with us.By the help of muslim affairs her paper was changed as my older daughter as ive said just for travel and for being her muslim.Being her guardian are we responsible for looking her future husband if she wanted too?but of course we will always ask permission to her real parents even if they trusted us to take good care of thier lady.Also shes big enough when we decided to adopt her shes 24 years old.Is it haram adopting her for the purpose of islam to broaden her knowledge and to let her accept islam not only for that guy but from her deepest heart and to experience living in muslim country too.We came from the Philippines and now we are in DOHA,QATAR.


needs to be guided and enligtened your sister here,
jazzak allahu khairan to all

:tti_sister:

 

[fathom]

assalam alaikom dear sisters thanks for sharing your opinion,actually this paper works something to do with travel purpose only coz its difficult to let her go with us if not a family visa.But we have no intention to take her away from her parents or be my daughter nothing purpose or intention like that only to help her and her family for financial needs.Though she still works with us and have her salary monthly sending to her biological parents.Yes speaking of getting her marry i find difficult to find her coz i dont know the rulings in islam if how can we settle if she wants to get married though she really wanted too.The guy im talking is an arab who meet her on net but i stop her talking coz i read here that its haram if a girl talks to a boy on net without mahram.So is it haram that we let her use our family name for her and what will we do if it is can i have more some advise brothrs and sisters?

may ALLAH(s.w.t) bless all muslims,

:tti_sister:

 

[virtualeye]

AsslaamuAlaikum,

She is independent 24 years old 'woman', not a kid. She can marry a person she likes, better with the suggestion of you and your husband. It is however not obligatory for her to get permission to marry a Muslim but to formally inform her parents as a due respect. Her real parents being nonMuslims can not decide what is best Islamic character of a person for their daughter.

Yes, it is strongly discouraged to have relationships on the net. These relationships only work imaginations and a person can get shocked and broken if he happens to meet that net friend physically. In case of physical presence for meeting, one can get idea of other person and does not create physical imaginations. Talking in person with the purpose of marriage is best. Or the parents of the candidates can initiate this 'know how' process.
Your adopted daughter has to meet someone in person to decide about marraige. Specially you can find some person with good character and analyse his character and then you can let him talk to your adopted daughter. The minimum condition for marriage should be either you and your husband's talk to the candidate OR your daughters talk to candiate.

Your daughter can talk to the candidate in your presence while you can not listen their conversation but you can keep an eye for safty.

Wasslaam,
VE


P.S. I am not a sister. I am brother.

assalam alaikom dear sisters thanks for sharing your opinion,actually this paper works something to do with travel purpose only coz its difficult to let her go with us if not a family visa.But we have no intention to take her away from her parents or be my daughter nothing purpose or intention like that only to help her and her family for financial needs.Though she still works with us and have her salary monthly sending to her biological parents.Yes speaking of getting her marry i find difficult to find her coz i dont know the rulings in islam if how can we settle if she wants to get married though she really wanted too.The guy im talking is an arab who meet her on net but i stop her talking coz i read here that its haram if a girl talks to a boy on net without mahram.So is it haram that we let her use our family name for her and what will we do if it is can i have more some advise brothrs and sisters?

may ALLAH(s.w.t) bless all muslims,

:tti_sister:

 

[fathom]

thanks a lot brother for your great advise,and i think being your sister in islam you could help me if someone brother you know is searching for marriage can i? coz how can she meet her future husband shes always insude the houseas you know shes working with us,and we dont know any muslim guy here in our area?In her situation she told me she wants to get married and thats our problem and also you advises me that she needs to get married coz shes a nonmahram to my husband so as early as possible she will be out of our house am i right?or not? Allah kareem for you brother

im just a lucky sister who deserve advices.
wa sallam alaikom:

:tti_sister:

 

[MubarekMuslimah]

Salaams

My husband and I are tryin to have a child and so far, without success But for now we have not given up hope and make our Du'a to Allah swt. We have discussed however that after some time, if we have not had a child still, we would NOT consider IVF etc but move straight to adoption as there are so many children in the world who just want someone to love and care for them and all we want is a child to love and care for and raise, insha'allah, a good Muslim.

So maybe in time I will need your contacts Global Peace - in the meantime I will make du'a we are blessed with a child. If we are to be blessed with our own children I would not rule out adoption anyway insha'allah.

Salaams

 

[Sulikha]

Subhana-Allah

:salam2:

MubarakMuslimah, may Allah bless you and your husband with a righteous children:tti_sister:

I have always wanted to adopt an orphan child which I plan to breastfeed inshaAllah it is possible, but now I have my handsfull Alhamdullilah 4 little ones of my own. adopting an orphan is still my dream inshaallah may Allah help all the orphans and children who are in need around the world.:tti_sister: :tti_sister: :tti_sister:

 

[Globalpeace]

Fostering Muslim Children in UK!

Asslamo Allaikum,

Please follow the link or PM me as I know the Shaykh who is involved with this charity.

http://www.fostercarelink.com/


P.S: Situation in UK is bad and lots of parents are needed for fostering Muslim children for short, medium and long-term basis.

 

[ditta]

Asalaamu'Alykum,

I have this link bookmarked and Inshallah if i get the chance i would like to adopt/foster, if i can understand everything involved. Inshallah.

May Allah (S.W.T) help these little kids.

Alhamdulilah

Wasalam

 

[palestine]

:salam2: Dear sister, i am not a scholar, nor a person which has abundance of knowledge but one day i was reading a book of supplications, it had the 99 names of Allah in it and in one particular page it said that those who can't bear children must seek Allah's help: You must fast 7 days in a row (if you want, without skipping a day) and then whenever you are breaking your fast you must say AL-KHALID, AL-BARI, AND AL-WARITH. in the supplication book it said that if you do that for 7 days and say those three names of Allah whenever you break your fast that Allah will bless you with a child. You can give it a try and i'm sorry for any wrong information( this is what i read in the supplication book).:salam2: :tti_sister:

 

[palestine]

:salam2: Brother, thank you ever so much for notifying us about this. Unfortunately i live in the USA and i'm only 16. I wish i could adopt them, just so they can have a loving family. It saddens my heart to know that they are in a foster home InshaAllah when i'm older, wiser, and i have a good job i will try and support any child , I wish i could help now but i have no job, i am a student.....I'll pray to Allah to give them a home and a loving family. And i hope that when they too have enough that they support their Mom's and dad's (if they are alive) and their families. Brother, please notify me of any child in help whenever so that i may and try to help them, even if it is only sending a few bucks. Please don't forget to notify me.

Sincerely, Nim'a
:salam2: :tti_sister: