Getting Married

[lozlg]

Assalam Alaikham, I want to get married at the end of the year Insha'Allah but i don't really know much about islamic weddings. I live in the UK, i am white English and my fiance is bangladeshi. I want to have my Nikah this year and then the registry next year. The Nikah will be very low-key, just close family and the registry next year we will have probably about 50-60 people Insha'Allah. So here are my questions:

Do i have to have walima?
Can i have my Nikah at the mosque? (is this normal)
Do i have any kind of gathering/reception type thing after the Nikah?
Can any sisters recommend a tailor or Islamic wedding dress shop in UK?

This is the thing im most worried about...
When i have a reception after the registry it will just be a sit-down meal, not dancing etc. Will it have to be segregated? If so, what about the cutting of the cake? How can we do that if men/women are in different rooms?
I would be interested to hear what other sisters weddings were like?

Thanks

 

[IslamIsLight]

salam aleikum
Sister ,the first thing you need to make sure you have a wali ,legal gardian ,as there is no marriage without Wali ,its one of the conditions of the marriage contract ...

"No marriage contract can be concluded without the presence of a Wali. A Sultan
(authority figure) can act as a Wali for those without one." (see Ibn Majah and Imam Ahmad, Hadith number 1880; also in Salih al-Jaami', hadeeth number 7556.)

Also make sure about your Mahr (dowry),as it is one of the conditions of the marriage contract..

Do i have to have walima?

You can have it after Nikah ,just to announce the marriage, as it is Sunnah ..

Can i have my Nikah at the mosque? (is this normal)

I had mine in a Mosque ..

Do i have any kind of gathering/reception type thing after the Nikah?

We had few people at the Nikah and some food ....
Then next day we had Walima ,with a lot of people...

Can any sisters recommend a tailor or Islamic wedding dress shop in UK?

If you marrying someone from Bangladesh ,then by tradition (not sure) his mother will get you a dress...Sorry if I'm wrong ,thats what I think ,its not Islamically though ,as far as I know,please anyone correct me if I'm wrong ...

waaleikum salam

 

[sister myriam]

assalamu alaikom

i wish u all hapiness sister...about the mosque all scholers do nikah in the mosque...it is the best...i hope this link would help uhttp://islamqa.com/en/ref/11446

 

[yakubpasha]

Congratulations sister, wish you all the best. Please go through the link below about rulings of islamic marriage

Islamic teachings regarding Marriage



Unlike other cultures and religions, Islam treats Nikah as a form of worship, and it is a means of attaining piety and closeness to Allah Ta’ala.

عن عائشة قالت قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: "النكاح من سنتى فمن لم يعمل بسنتى فليس منى ..." (رواه ابن ماجه)

It has been narrated on the authority of Aishah (Radhiyallahu Anha) that Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “Nikah is from amongst my Sunnats, and whosoever does not follow my sunnah, is not from me.

(Sunan Ibn Majah Pg.132/3 – Qadeemi Kutub Khana)

وعن أنس قال : قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: " إذا تزوج العبد فقد استكمل نصف الدين فليتق الله في النصف الباقي "

It has been narrated on the authority of Anas (Radhiyallahu Anhu) that Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “When a person gets married, he has perfected half of Deen; and he should fear Allah in the other half”.

(Mishkat al-Masabeeh Pg.268 – Qadeemi Kutub khana)

Therefore, it is important for us to follow the commandments of Allah Ta’ala and the ways of Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) regarding our marriages.

Islam teaches us that when looking for a partner, we should give preference to piety.



عن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه عن النبي صلى الله عليه و سلم قال "تنكح المرأة لأربع لمالها ولحسبها وجمالها ولدينها فاظفر بذات الدين ...". (رواه البخاري)

It has been narrated on the authority of Abu Hurairah (Radhiyallahu Anhu) that Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “A women is generally married either for her wealth, her lineage, her beauty or her piety. Be successful by marrying the pious.

(Sahih al-Bukhari Vol.6 Pg.150 – Dar al-Fikr)



After having found a suitable girl, the boy could either tell the womenfolk in the family to look at the girl and tell him how she is, or the boy could personally look at the face and hands of the girl. However, it will be permissible for him to look at her only once before marriage and on condition that he really has the intention of marrying her.

(Dars-e-Tirmizhi Vol.3 Pg.350/1 – Maktabah Darul ‘Uloom Karachi)

After having found a partner, we should hasten in conducting the Nikah.

عن أبي هريرة قال : قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم إذا خطب إليكم من ترضون دينه وخلقه فزوجوه إلا تفعلوا تكن فتنة في الأرض وفساد عريض (رواه الترمذي)

It has been narrated on the authority of Abu Hurairah (Radhiyallahu Anhu) that Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “when you receive a proposal from a person who is pious and has good habits, then get your daughters married to them. If you do not do so, it will result in the spreading of evil and corruption”.

(Jami’ al-Tirmizhi Vol.1 Pg.207 – H.M. Sa'eed Company)



As far as the marriage ceremony is concerned, Islam permits and encourages us to have a walimah, but at the same time advices us to keep them as simple as possible.



وقال عبد الرحمن بن عوف قال لى النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم "أولم ولو بشاة". (رواه البخاري)

‘Abdur Rahman bin ‘Auf (Radhiyallahu Anhu) mentions that Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said to me, “Conduct your walimah, even if it means slaughtering a sheep”.

(Sahih al-Bukhari Vol.6 Pg.173 – Dar al-Fikr)



عن عائشة أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال "إن أعظم النكاح بركة أيسره مؤنة". (رواه البيهقي في " شعب الإيمان" )

It has been narrated by Ai’shah (Radhiyallahu Anha) that Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “The most blessed wedding is that which has the least expenses”.

(Mishkat al-Masabeeh Pg.268 – Qadeemi Kutub khana)

Hence, the simpler the marriage, the more blessed it will be. As a result of this, there will be more love between the husband and wife; the children born from this marriage will be pious and the marriage will be a means of attaining success in the eternal Hereafter.



http://al-inaam.com/fataawa/marriage_crisis_wedding.htm

 

[a_muslimah86]

Do i have to have walima?

Having a walima satisfies the 3rd condition of marriage known as *ish'haar* (transl: Announcement of marriage)..and it is a confirmed sunnah..please read the following link for more information (scroll down almost to the bottom and you'll find the section about walima):

http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/129635/%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%88%D9%84%D9%8A%D9%85%D8%A9

Can i have my Nikah at the mosque? (is this normal)

The majority of scholars say it is mostahab (liked/preferred) for a nikah to be done at a masjid..but they do not favor making a wedding there (most people don't do it anyway but they do point it out for the sake of *knowing*)..again for more information about the etiquette of making nikah at a masjid and such..read the following link:

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/87898

Do i have any kind of gathering/reception type thing after the Nikah?

If you mean a gathering *aside from walima*..then no you do not have to..if you feel a need to have a gathering then you might as well have your walima on the same day of your nikah..so you'd hit two birds with one stone

Can any sisters recommend a tailor or Islamic wedding dress shop in UK?

I live in the US so I will not be of much help in this aspect..but sister AishaAnastasia mentioned a very good point..perhaps in your groom's culture his family gets you the dress..I think you should try to find out indirectly if there's a custom of that sort..even if they say *no* most likely the females in his family might be able to help you find a dress

When i have a reception after the registry it will just be a sit-down meal, not dancing etc. Will it have to be segregated? If so, what about the cutting of the cake? How can we do that if men/women are in different rooms?

You have to be mindful of segregation sister..because I am sure not *everyone* attending will be a mahram of each other..you're already set on earning a lot of barakah inshallah (i.e. not having dancing and such)..so why not make it perfect?! ..as for cutting the cake..if you feel you must do it..then do it when everyone leaves and only your mahrams and the mahrams of your groom are around..or just have a cake delivered to you two if you're going to have a dinner or spend the remainder of the day together..and you can cut your cake then (that's what all the sisters I know do so they don't worry about mahrams..non-mahrams and all that..and they say it's more special and exclusive that way )..other than that..with segregation it would be difficult to do a cutting of a cake..and it's not like you can ask only the mahrams to join you..it might cause offense to those attending but are not mahrams for either you or the groom..

I would be interested to hear what other sisters weddings were like?

I think other sisters should tell you about their ceremonies (I'm not married so I cannot share an experience with you)..that way you'll have a better idea of what went on..and there was a thread around here not too long ago where sisters shared their ceremonies..but sadly..I cannot remember what it was called for the life of me..

If anyone knows which one I'm talking about..they should kindly provide the link to it so our sister lozlg can benefit from it inshallah!

May Allah (swt) bless you for your groom..and bless him for you..may He fill your hearts with love and compassion towards each other..grant you an offspring of the pious and righteous..and count you all amongst those admitted into Jannah..Ameen!

 

[yusra489]

Assalam Alaikham, I want to get married at the end of the year Insha'Allah but i don't really know much about islamic weddings. I live in the UK, i am white English and my fiance is bangladeshi. I want to have my Nikah this year and then the registry next year. The Nikah will be very low-key, just close family and the registry next year we will have probably about 50-60 people Insha'Allah. So here are my questions:

Do i have to have walima?
Can i have my Nikah at the mosque? (is this normal)
Do i have any kind of gathering/reception type thing after the Nikah?
Can any sisters recommend a tailor or Islamic wedding dress shop in UK?

This is the thing im most worried about...
When i have a reception after the registry it will just be a sit-down meal, not dancing etc. Will it have to be segregated? If so, what about the cutting of the cake? How can we do that if men/women are in different rooms?
I would be interested to hear what other sisters weddings were like?

Thanks

Congrats hun inshallah you be happy