Hajib- Need Advice.

[theonlystar]

Salam

I am newly married and my wife will coming to England very soon (InshaAllah).

She is more religous than me but she respects her own culture which are haraam in Islam.

All my uncle's wives (about my age) and my cousins (girls) they do not cover their head when they visit our house or i go visit them.

Islam says they must cover their heads, even for male cousins or brothers in law.

Maybe my wife will follows them, not follow the islamic law.

I would like to tell her to cover her head when my male families comes to my house.

i dont know her very well but she still respects her culture beacuse she gave me a gold ring and even asked me to meet her cousins (girls). i cant tell her 'no' because i was shocking and speechless'.

How can I tell her to cover her head? she might laugh and will have agruement with me , for example if she covers her head then i have to wear sunni hat on, u know wat i mean?

Help me.

 

[AishaR]

:salam2:

She is more religous than me but she respects her own culture which are haraam in Islam.

Brother I am confused with what you say. You say she is more religous than you yet your wife is not wearing hijab? Where is your wife from?

 

[junaid hasan]

brother you know better what is your problem

you told that she is more religious then you,, so you should be more religious then her.

because you know better then your wife so how could you say that she is more religious then you?

i think you must be steadfast about islam if you want that your wife also will follow quran and sunnah.

learn first islam for your self and try to practise it ,,it will show effect on your wife inshallah.

 

[theonlystar]

:salam2:



Brother I am confused with what you say. You say she is more religous than you yet your wife is not wearing hijab? Where is your wife from?

SHE DOES WEAR HAJIB WHEN SHE GOES OUT BUT NOT AT HOME FRONT OF MALE FAMILIES.

WE PRAY 5 TIMES A DAY, PAY POOR/NEEDY, ETC

I HAVE TO REALISE THAT WE ARE SAME , NOT MORE RELIGOUS THAN ME.

SHE COMES FROM PAKISTAN

 

[theonlystar]

brother you know better what is your problem

you told that she is more religious then you,, so you should be more religious then her.

because you know better then your wife so how could you say that she is more religious then you?

i think you must be steadfast about islam if you want that your wife also will follow quran and sunnah.

learn first islam for your self and try to practise it ,,it will show effect on your wife inshallah.

MY MISTAKE, I HAVE TO REALISE, WE ARE SAME COS WE PRAY 5 TIMES, PAY NEEDY/POOR ETC, SHE IS NOT MORE RELIGOUS THAN ME BUT SAME

SORRY MY MISTAKE.

 

[theonlystar]

EDIT (MY MISTAKE)



Salam

I am newly married and my wife will coming to England very soon (InshaAllah).

We are religous but she respects her own culture which are haraam in Islam.

All my uncle's wives (about my age) and my cousins (girls) they do not cover their head when they visit our house or i go visit them.

Islam says they must cover their heads, even for male cousins or brothers in law.

Maybe my wife will follows them, not follow the islamic law.

I would like to tell her to cover her head when my male families comes to my house.

i dont know her very well but she still respects her culture beacuse she gave me a gold ring and even asked me to meet her cousins (girls). i cant tell her 'no' b
Because i was shocking and speechless'.

How can I tell her to cover her head? she might laugh and will have agruement with me , for example if she covers her head then i have to wear sunni hat on, u know wat i mean?

Help me.

 

[TheKnowledgeSeeker]

SHE DOES WEAR HAJIB WHEN SHE GOES OUT BUT NOT AT HOME FRONT OF MALE FAMILIES.

WE PRAY 5 TIMES A DAY, PAY POOR/NEEDY, ETC

I HAVE TO REALISE THAT WE ARE SAME , NOT MORE RELIGOUS THAN ME.

SHE COMES FROM PAKISTAN

Then don't allow male families in the house but go to their house or just tell her to wear hajib when male families come!

 

[junaid hasan]

brother i understand what you mean.

but i think you should be more religious at this moment then its will show effect from its self

then you dont have ti say something to her

i think she knows that she is not allowed to go infront of other males.

but as a normal muslim we know a lot of things which we should do but we never did.

its just related of the power of our faith
how strong it is.

soo just try to work on oyur faith on also in her faith.

 

[Binte Tablighi]

I think you simply need to tell her she has to wear hijab in the presence of males.
tell her using Quranic/hadith evidence,im sure she'l understand.
also,id just like to point out,you can't expect her to act all religious if you yourself are'nt.it would'nt be fair would it?
if she wears a hijab,im sure it would'nt hurt u to try wear a hat (kufi,topi) whatever you call it.It works both ways,if she sees ou wearing a hat,it might encourage her to wear hijab.

sorry if i sounded harsh;just what i think

 

[theonlystar]

if she wears a hijab,im sure it would'nt hurt u to try wear a hat (kufi,topi) whatever you call it.It works both ways,if she sees ou wearing a hat,it might encourage her to wear hijab.

sorry if i sounded harsh;just what i think

you sounded not harsh, but i am keepin my beard like our Muhammad (SAW).
it is wajib to keep my beard so my wife should wear hajib. its not wajib to wear Islamic hat but its sunnah.

 

[Binte Tablighi]

of course,and mashAllah.
well then,i think you just need to speak to her.im sure she'l understand.
also environmentally,islam is better practiced in the UK than the muslim countries.so inshAllah she'l find it easier to adjust to keeping her hijab in fron of males,here.

 

[samiha]

:salam2:

I know what you mean. Certain people in our areas go outside wearing hijab, niqaab, but when their male cousins come over, refrain from wearing anything other then the regular clothes they wear at home! :astag: Due to ignorance and culture they end up considering them "part of the inner family" which is not true at all!!

Here how about this, show her this Ayah, make a check list and next time when a male comes over - tell her to go through this checklist... if none of the relation boxes are checked tell her to run for cover and get her hijab on!! :lol:

Just joking, but this Ayah explicitly tells in front of whom we are required in Islam to dress properly, and who is not in that category.

"And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms, etc.) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husband's sons, their brothers or their brother's sons, or their sister's sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful." (Surah Nur Ayah 31)

Lol… Follow Quran and Sunnah – culture can be, and often times is skewed.

 

[theonlystar]

Then don't allow male families in the house but go to their house or just tell her to wear hajib when male families come!

why not invite male families in my house? its no respect.

I want them to come in my house.

how can i tell her to cover her head?

 

[UmmOf3]

Salaam aleikum

Are you sure she will not cover? From your first post, I get the feeling you thought she would be influenced by your family who do not cover... Well, maybe, Allah knows best, inshaAllah she will influence them, to cover, rather than she will stop wearing hijab in front of men...

 

[AishaR]

:salam2:

Just an idea bro, how about buying her a really nice scarf & pin as a gift. If that doesnt work, you are just going have to talk to her.

 

[theonlystar]

Salaam aleikum

Are you sure she will not cover? From your first post, I get the feeling you thought she would be influenced by your family who do not cover... Well, maybe, Allah knows best, inshaAllah she will influence them, to cover, rather than she will stop wearing hijab in front of men...

I AM SORRY, I DONT UNDERSTAND

 

[theonlystar]

:salam2:

Just an idea bro, how about buying her a really nice scarf & pin as a gift. If that doesnt work, you are just going have to talk to her.

LOL, of course i would like to give her beauiful scarf but she might its for outside home!!! lol thanks for ur advice.

 

[AishaR]

:salam2:

lol!! ok bro, how about getting the scarf & writing out the Ayah & placing it with the scarf. I know that may not sound subtle but it may do the job.

 

[samiha]

:salam2:

lol!! ok bro, how about getting the scarf & writing out the Ayah & placing it with the scarf. I know that may not sound subtle but it may do the job.

:salam2:

Or he could wrap it up real nice and put it right on top with a big gigantic bow, making sure not to block the writing... and then give it to her

Are you sure brother that this isn't a mistake just out of ignorance, and not for purposely following the culture? Maybe if you sat down with her and talked about it? (before marriage with a mahram of course)

 

[theonlystar]

:salam2:

lol!! ok bro, how about getting the scarf & writing out the Ayah & placing it with the scarf. I know that may not sound subtle but it may do the job.

ok sister, how can i write an Ayah?

and wat does it say?