How Can I Know For Certain?????

[Isra]

As salamo alaikome.......

Ok so I took my shahada 3 months ago, I pray 5 times per day every day ever since and most of the prayers I am praying on time. I think of Allah throughout the day every day. I am trying so hard to change my own attitude to show kindness towards other people ALL the time. I am still learning about Islam day by day so I am what you would call a "work in progress" but I really am trying to work to change myself yet still sometimes when I get angry the "old" me comes through and I feel ashamed. Those are the times I feel I dont deserve to be a Muslimah.

I am so afraid of being a hypocrite and sometimes I question myself if I am just thinking I believe in everything because I want so much to believe. I sometimes think how would I know if I am only fooling myself??? What if I am really not this Muslim person I want so much to be???? What if I dont even deserve to be a Muslim???? Really most of the time I feel I am not a good example of what a Muslim should be.

I read a few of the posts here at TTI that talk about struggles and how there will be trials and tests for the believers and that the true believers will be put through so much hardship. Ok I am struggling but not like the believers and REAL Muslims who are actually DYING in other countries and fighting just to keep a roof over their heads and food in their babies bellies.

What am I struggling???? Oh yeah.........I have 2 jobs (by the mercy of Allah) and I have a warm bed to sleep in every night and I have a car so I dont need to walk to those 2 jobs and I have food in my stomach and in my son's stomach every day (by the mercy of Allah). I have all of these things and yet I feel that all I do is complain all the time.

WHY did Allah provide all of this for me AFTER I took my shahada????? Is it because I am a liar???? Am I a hypocrite????? And how can I know if I am or not???? What is wrong with me??? I have a good life (by the mercy of Allah) and yet I am always saying Im so tired and I need to find a husband so I can work just one job. Why should I feel this way if Allah blessed me with 2 jobs so that I can take care of my son alone????? Really why cant I just be thankful for what I have and live in peace???? Sometimes I feel like such a hypocrite and I know I can fool alot of people and maybe even fool myself but I can NEVER fool Allah. May Allah please have mercy on my soul.

 

[adeola]

waleikum salam warhmatullah

i know what you are saying, but i thinks its sad when we think a test must be something miserable and we must be dying or stravingto be tested every day is a struggle, every time you pray, lower your gaze, ask if this mea is halal or not etc is a struggle.

The rasul (SAW) said in an authentic hadith ( this is my version not the exact wording )that he did not fear starvation or poverty for his people but he feared luxury and subhanallah sometimes it is easier to stay firm when things are bad than when they are easy, Allah shares out his bounties as he pleases giving us what we can deal with at any one time so don't ask Allah why am i not miserable, why am i not poor, why have i got a car but instead praise him for giving this to you and stay firm.

Every individual knows the state of their hearts i have many diseases in my heart which i struggle with everyday. I have heard it said that one can know their status with Allah by looking at the place Allah holds in their hearts so keep doing what your doing and stay firm praising Allah for his bounties upon you.

 

[OsMaN_93]

Don't worry, I am sure many many people do get angry, including me

When a person is angry, he/she should try to control their anger. In the Ahadith there are three ways shown to control ones Anger.

1). is to say Ta'awwuz (“I SEEK ALLAH'S PROTECTION FROM THE CURSED DEVIL" )
2). is to doWudu (Abulution ) or drink water.
3). is to lie down on the floor (sit?)


2) So when a person becomes angry he should perform ablution.
3) Then the person should lie down, because when a person is resting in this position, he becomes humble. The reason is because, this is the quality of the earth due to it being low and not bursting.
This is the opposite to fire which is the origin of shaytaan, therefore results in pride. When a person is lying down he is far from revenge and retaliation, than a person who is standing up.

In reality anger is a spark of fire and its flames are always bursting. The cure is that you extinguish it, the fire (represents your body) with water (wud'oo) so that the evilness doesn't spread.

The person who is angry should make wudu, then the person should recite some verses from the Holy Qur'ran (AYAH KURSI) which is in the (3rd para, 2nd ruku).
Since anger is from the devil, reciting Qur'an wears them (devils) off, insha'llah.

Another tip, is to go and sit alone. This may be difficult when your angry, but inshallah try your best.



This extract was slightly modified and edited by me, originally from http://www.islamawareness.net/Anger/anger.html

:salam2:

 

[a_muslimah86]

Dear sister...do you have to lose a loved one to earn the conviction that you're a good Muslimah?..do you have to be homeless?..do you have to suffer a disease?..do you have to shed tears?..do you have to experience MAJOR TRAUMAS just to know that you're a sound Muslimah?..do you think Allah (swt) who has assigned the attributes of mercy..love and compassion to Himself (swt) even before we knew them..would decree such a thing?

surely in *your comfort*...there's a blessing..Allah (swt) has decreed for you a thing which is good..He has protected you from the evils and struggles of dunya..I am sure there's a wisdom in that..which you need to locate and decipher...did you ever think that perhaps Allah (swt) is providing sustenance for you..and is giving you a stable life..not for *your sake*..but for *your son's sake?*..perhaps Allah (swt) is protecting this child..and He (swt) has put you as the mother who will ensure this protection is present until your son sustains *himself*

things are not so black or white all the time..even in the tiniest of struggles or comforts there's a deeper side that we need to venture into to attain *understanding* from..when you feel ungratefulness creeping in..say *astaghfirullah*..and then *alhamdulillah*..and look for what's next in line..when you get angry..remain silent..walk away..remember Allah with some dhikr..a few tens of *la ilaha illa allah* or *allaho akbar* will switch your state around..believe me..you just have to try it!

and sister...the characteristics of hypocrites are apparent..and so are those of liars...yes you should keep yourself in check so you don't accidentally or intentionally hop onto the wagons of either one..but also refrain from harshness..your nafs has a certain degree of tolerance..if an overbearing pressure is put over it..things *will* backfire!...so watch-out!

 

[ahmed_indian]

Allah looks for our efforts not results.

if u want to be a good muslim and fear being hypocrite, thats means you love and fear Allah.

having a hard life is not always a sign of Allah's faith. many non-muslims are suffering, so will they go to Paradise? and so many good muslims are living in ease (mashallah), will they go to hell?

may Allah reward you for ur concern about ur iman.

thank Allah for blesings. Dont ask Him for bad times. not everybody is able to bear it.

say in Dua: O Allah, i m weak pls keep my life easy.