:salam2:
I think this thread is going entirely off topic. The question intended was what age were you married. It's an interesting question, but perhaps one that should be contained in a more minimal circle? There's nothing wrong with it at all, however it's a public forum, and we have to be careful what kind of personal information we are giving out yes?
I would also like to mention, there is nothing wrong with getting married at a young age if one is able. Many times we are not all in the same situation, but nobody has a right to condemn this act.Though times, practices and cultures have changed, we cannot take that and make our own opinions and place it on others. If we feel we are not ready, or were not ready, or that our priorities were different, then by all means it may be true, but our situation is not alike all others. Therefore, in these regards, perhaps its better not to delve into matters and say that we would never do this, or that this isn't right, or etc. In Islaam it is good to get married early if you are prepared, in order to safegaurd the community, give people the ability to channel anything in a positive way, keep it free from haraam relationships and so on, therefore so we should not say anything further.
However, if on your own level, you do not want to get married or do not find someone suitable. Then it again is up to you. Assuredly we want to find the best compatiable person, and that may take a while. Realizing however that there is no such thing as a "perfect" person, we also at the time have to make ourselves better Muslims so that we can suit our roles we are to hold in our families, and make us stronger people in general.
And I'd also like to add, when I get married, I dont want to compare my husband to any other person. Why would that be condemned? I dont see it as such, and its not degrading for a person to want this either is it? It's not just restricted to "young wives" I think for a Muslimah, whatever age it is, we should not let ourselves daydream and have wistful thoughts wasted on comparing one person to another. We should work with what we can right? As its the only way to get anywhere. And besides, before marriage we lower our gaze, and when we marry we should marry the best person we can, and then lower our gaze still, it doesnt change. we do not look elsewhere at all, therefore making it fair. A person who goes to see the whole world, might miss what's right before their nose.
Allah knows what is best for us also. If He wills something in our Qadr, then NO MATTER HOW GOOD a person we married, it might end in disaster. We have to make dua and constantly strive, as truly its not in our power at all. We could marry a sheep in disguise, or we might think we married a lion but find otherwise. In either case, we dont have control of anything because Allah knows best. We look to their character, their morals, their Deen, and then the rest is up to Allah.
I understand diffculties arise in marraiges, that partners need to work together to achieve the greatest good. And independance is good as well, but if all people were just independant, then what in fact would marriage be for? As one would put it, just and animalisitc carnal thing? That's wrong. Isn't marriage also about depending, helping and working together? Thus, its fine for a girl to live with her parents, or her in-laws if all the proper conditions are met. Just because a person marries, it should not mean they lose former ties. It's not as if you are in a completely different world (though it might seem so).
And as for older ages? There's not degration of that either. Khadijah radiallahu Anha got married again at an older age, so anyone who says there's no chance with that is wrong as well.
People are different. We get married at different ages based on opportunity, situation, environment, people, experiences, wants, desires etc. But amongst it all, it's a beautiful thing and should be, so lets not sully it through pointless discussion. May Allah help all of us.
I dont mean to say anything that would cause offence. Please forgive me if it is so.
Allah knows best.
Thread Closed
wasalam
