How should I react to females?

[Al Qassimi]

:salam2:

I have a couple questions of how a Muslim Man should react to a Female:

I understand that a Man should not be alone with a Female(Expect if she's his sister or mother), but in which way shouldn't be alone with her? If there was another Female is it fine? or with another male? Please explain

A Muslim Man should never touch a women at all, no hugs and kisses. What if she was going to fall on her head and I was capable of breaking that fall by holding her arms? Also, how can I tell a female that I can't handshake her or hug her without being rude.

Another question, A Muslim man should "Lower his Gaze" when he is looking at a female. Could you explain lowering the gaze, I can't understand it. I usually look at female in the eye's.(In details)

I'm in a University which I have to work with some of them in projects, organizations, and forth on. I'm not sure if I should be alone with them when I'm speaking about a matter that involves organizations(I have no intentions of zinni with her just trying to get our goals set so we can get our project or event ready)

If there is anything else to add, please do so.

 

[Sir David]

In a word respect

 

[Pocahontas]

Wa 3alikumu salam brother.
Its not allowed to be alone with a female.. What should be avoided is Khulwah.
Because if you are alone with a female, there is always a third person (Shaytan)..

Whenever a man is alone with a woman, Satan is the third among them.(Reported by At-Tirmidhi)..


Question:
Does khulwah (being alone with a member of the opposite sex) only refer to when a man is alone with a woman is some room, far from the view of people? Or does it mean every instance where a man is alone with a woman even if that is in view of people?.

Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
What is meant by the kind of khulwah that is haraam is not only a man being alone with a non-mahram woman in a room where no one can see them, rather it includes their being alone in any place where they can converse with one another, even if that is where others can see them but not hear them, and whether that is in the open air, in a car, on the roof of a house, or wherever. Khulwah is forbidden because it is the forerunner of zina (adultery, fornication) and the means that leads to zina. Every case that is like this comes under the same rulings as khulwah in the sense of being away from where people can see you.
And Allaah is the Source of strength. (Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 17/57)


“With regard to a woman speaking to a man for some necessary purpose, there is no sin in it, subject to the condition that they should not be alone together (khulwah or seclusion), even if that is in an office or classroom, with no one else present. They should also remain formal and dignified, and observe proper hijab, and take care to speak only about what is necessary without saying anything more, or softening the voice. There should also be no danger of fitnah. If the woman feels any kind of desire or speaks to men simply for fun, or if that applies to the man, then it is haraam for them to speak together, because of the fitnah and sin involved. And Allaah knows best.”

About lowering your gaze click on this link
http://www.islamqa.com/index.php?ref=20229&ln=eng&txt

Hope these fatawa answer your questions, In shaa Allah

 

[umm hussain]

Walaikum salam warahamtullah

From my understanding a woman should not be alone with a man because the 3rd will be the Shaytan, meaning potentially haram could happen I do not see why a Muslim man or any man for that matter should not or cannot help a woman who has slipped and fell or about to fall. Unless the person has a very 'dirty' mind. I doubt anyone will be feeling like hugging or kissing her, you are just helping an individual, so Islam is not there to stop people from helping each other but stopping haram happening . Prevention is better than cure. Besides the woman is probably slipping in the street anyway with lot of other people around.

Men and women can also be in the same room if they have to however they should strictly follow Islamic teachings. Preferably men sitting on one side and women on the other and speak formally no chatting and laughing. Of course this only works if the parties involved are all Muslim and 'practising'. It would not work however in a meeting with non Muslim men and women or for people who have hidden intentions.

 

[aishajor]

asalamu'alaykum

i wnet into a islamic shop the other week and the men wouldn't even look at me...as a revert i find this very weird.

is this right?

 

[muslim-girl]

Asc sister

Asc to u , revert sister.

I understand if u feel that its weird, ofcause . but sis i dont really know his intention so i can't say exactly why he did'nt want to look at u, but i think if he was a god muslim then he just try to "lower his gaze". he dont want any fitna (troble) .. so inshaAllah its only good if he dont look at u, thats mean he respect u and dont want any fitna whether for u or him self. so inshaALlah , its always good to lower the gaze as Allah the al mercy says in the Quran..

 

[El Gordito]

asalaamu alaykum,

Allah (swt) knows best for us, and knows us well.

If you must work on a project, or work in an office... always show respect..and stick to the straight path.

lower your gaze, ... i dont know what fatwah is on this.. but keep your thoughts pure, and only speak of what is necessary to perform your project.. or your job functions...

i understand it can be difficult, but ask for strength and guidance, and seek refuge in Allah subhanna wa ta'aalah, if you feel shayton telling you 'it is okay... '

i dont want to be a hypocrite, but i can tell you from personal experience.. Allah (swt) knows His creation... would there be rules if there was no danger?

 

[hager]

well

well:
about shake hands..
it's haram in islam..
to tell a female
say it,with nice way as ..when female come and she's going to greet u..or it was the fist time to meet her,and u have to work with her in project
tell her"look..,i don't shake hands,i tell u that..cuz,i didn't want u get embarssed"

and tell her..why it's haram,give her aprove?

about,women,was going to fall
i ;ll answer u..cuz,when i was in high school in school's bus..i was going to fall...and guy in bus,save me,from falling..
i told him"thx ,"

about:looking to women eyes:
look,i'm girl...and i get So annoyed from the man who looking to the women eyes
i know,there's something called eye contact..
it's important at work..School
but,don't look to the eyes...and dream...
u know?
once i was working on project....and i was with one girl,and a boy...
we work through the day 5 hours..
so,i told them "i need break "
So,i take off my glasses..while break..
i find the guy who was wokring with me "u have such a nice eye..don't hide them with glasses...u looks so pretty"
i told him "well...no,i love to wear my glasses.."
since,that..i never take off my glasses at school,in social activites..

and about Shaking hands..
i do that
when i work with mens in project..i told them "that i don't shake hands"
with respectful way


So,Avoid,looking to women's eyes..
Avoid it,brother...

i guess,i answer all ur quizzes

u know.that shaking hands is haram..
i'd love to give the prove..
Question:
Is it allowable for a muslim woman to greet a muslim man by shaking hands?

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

For a man to shake hands with a non-mahram woman (one to whom he is not related) is haraam and is not permitted at all. Among the evidence for this is the hadeeth of Ma’qal ibn Yassaar (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘If one of you were to be struck in the head with an iron needle, it would be better for him than if he were to touch a woman he is not allowed to.” (Reported by al-Tabaraani; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5045).

There is no doubt that for a man to touch a non-mahram woman is one of the causes of fitnah (turmoil, temptation), provocation of desire and committing haraam deeds. No one should say that their intention is sound or their heart is clean, because the one who was the purest of heart and the most chaste of all, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched a non-mahram woman, even when accepting bay’ah (oath of allegiance) from women. He did not hold their hands when accepting their bay’ah, as he did with men; their bay’ah was by words only, as was reported by his wife ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her). She said that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would test the believing women who emigrated to him with the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “O Prophet! When believeing women come to you to give you the bay’ah (pledge), that they will not associate anything in worship with Allaah, that they will not steal, that they will not commit illegal sexual intercourse, that they will not kill their children, that they will not utter slander, intentionally forging falsehood (i.e., by making illegal children belong to their husbands), and that thye will not disobey you in any ma’ruf (Islamic monotheism and all that which Islam ordains), then accept their bay’ah and ask Allaah to forgive them. Verily Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [al-Mumtahinah 60:12] ‘Aa’ishah said: “So whoever of the believing women agreed to these conditions, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would say to her: ‘I have accepted your bay’ah by words.’ By Allaah, his hand never touched the hand of any woman when accepting their bay’ah; he accepted their bay’ah by saying ‘I have accepted your bay’ah on this basis.’”

(Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4512; according to another report: he accepted their bay’ah by words… the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman except a woman he owned . Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6674).

Some Muslims feel too embarrassed to refuse when a woman offers her hand to them. In addition to mixing with women, some of them claim that they are forced to shake hands with fellow-students and teachers in schools and universities, or with colleagues in the workplace, or in business meetings and so on, but this is not an acceptable excuse. The Muslim should overcome his own feelings and the promptings of the Shaytaan, and be strong in his faith, because Allaah is not ashamed of the truth. The Muslim could apologize politely and explain that the reason he does not want to shake hands is not to offend or hurt anybody’s feelings, but it is because he is following the teachings of his religion. In most cases this will earn him respect from others. There is no harm done if they find it strange at first, and it may even be a practical opportunity for da’wah. And Allaah knows best.

Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

 

[cup of islam]

A resepct way about going with the hand shaking again what sister hager said
tell them you dont shake hands and simply put your right hand on your chest and
greet them that way it still shows respect.

 

[al-fajr]

:salam2:

Just wanted to add, when it says 'lower' the gaze it actually means look down and not above the sisters head and fix eyes on the ceiling or something okay? ..I ended up looking at the ceiling aswell thinking 'what the heck is on the ceiling?' ..lol

Great advice from everyone though, alhamdulillah.

 

[faith_]

Salaam, brother.

I'm a revert and it has been very strange to deny handshakes from men. However, what I do is put up my hand and say, "Sorry, I can't" while smiling. I have not yet had a negative response - in fact, people usually say, "Oh, I'm sorry! I forgot!" or something along those lines. People are, in my experience, really positive when you are firm and kind about your faith. The key, I think, is to say it in a kind voice and smile.

And don't forget, Allah tests those He loves - look at the prophets, they were put through the greatest tests of all! Be grateful we're not prophets! So if someone does react in a negative way, it is merely Allah giving you an opportunity to remain calm and peaceful, the way the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, has told us to be.

 

[Musulmanin]

:salam2:

I think if you are asked why you don't shake hands with women, it's best to say " I don't shake hands with opposite gender." instead of saying you don't shake hands with women. Some women might think that muslims don't consider women worthy of shanking hands (especially with media propoganda), but saying that you don't shake hands with opposite gender should not offend anyone. They might be confused at first, but they will understand later inshAllah. It may even be a good opportunity to give dawah if you're asked why you don't shake hands with opposite gender. I hope I helped.

Allah knows best