How to handle this issue..?

Aida1

Junior Member
Assalamu aleikum,

I'm engaged and inshallah will be married this time next year. The problem is I discovered later he has some strange ideas and that he doesn't handle comments about those well.... One example is that according to him, Isa (pbuh) is sheitan. I really don't know where he gets this idea, but when I challenge him, giving examples from the Qur'an. He reacts like 'YOU, are challenging ME on islam?!? I have been a muslim all my life, you just converted, so how can you know better then me.' He refuses to even look at the evidence I give with my suggestions. I really don't know how to handle this.... :(
 

Mabsoot

Amir
Staff member
wa alaykum salam wa rahmatullah,

Sister, Islam gives us all the tools to make the right decisions in life. Allah has blessed us with the guidance from the Qur'an, and He sent the noble Messenger, Muhammad :saw: to aid us with his Sunnah.

All that is from the Qur'an and the Sunnah, must be believed in. We believe in Allah, in His Angels, in His Books (the Bible, the Torah - that these books existed, although we do not follow them now, and we know there are things placed in them which are from men, thus they are corrupted. We still have to respect these books!), in His Prophets (every single Prophet from Adam upto the Prophet Muhammad :saw:, including the Prophet Jesus a.s - Must be believed in, and respected), in the Day of Judgement and in predestination (qadr) the good and bad. These elements of our belief, and others such all make us Muslim. If a person ridicules anything in Islam, dislikes and does not want something which is from Islam, then they are committing kufr (disbelief). It is a grave sin, and could lead person outside of Islam.

The following article highlights the things that can destroy our belief:
Types of Kufr (Disbelief)

The Prophet Jesus was not a "shaitan". Which sane person could say this? I am shocked a Muslim would say such a thing.

Sister, my advice is you should get space from this individual. The fact you told him things, and he does not want to follow evidences, shows that he will be having more problems in future. This is not the ideal way a Muslim man or woman should think. Islam is meant to be a base, a foundation and glue in a family. Our lives centre around Islam, our problems fixed with Islam, alhamdulillah. If a person does not have the same thoughts about it, then this will be problematic.

So, take some time out, and concentrate on learning the Deen. Learn about the right characteristics that Islam says a man should have, and leave it to Allah to guide you to the best person! Marriage is based on many things, and the true love is the one which develops after marriage.

wasalamu alaykum
 

Umm Abdullah

Junior Member
Wa aleykum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh dear sister.

Brother Mabsoot has already answered the question ma sha Allah, so I will just give you and all the new Muslimahs an advice. I’ve noticed that whenever a girl reverts to Islam, she gets many proposals from all directions. It's like people want to marry her right away to their son/brother/uncle/friend. The poor girl doesn’t even know the basic of Islam and already people want her to take this huge responsibility of marriage. I don't think this is a good way of treating these girls. Often they get married to men who aren't religious or men who are stigmatize by the Muslim community. And how would these girls know that? All they are told is "oh he is a very good brother ma sha Allah. He has knowledge of the deen blabla". So she ends up marrying him. After a few weeks she notices that her husband doesn’t pray. He smokes and he is just Muslim by culture. This is just sad wallahi, how these girls end up with those kinds of men.
I've seen it happen and I've heard a lot of stories similar to the example I gave. So from now on whenever I see a revert sister I urge her to study the deen first. When you have studied Islam and you feel confident in your knowledge then you can distinguish the religious brother from the average brothers. Wa billahi tawfiq
 

sister herb

Official TTI Chef
Salam alaykum

If someone has been muslim all his/hers life and believes that prophet Isa is "shaytan", then real knowledge of this person is very flimsy. You should think again if that man is rightone to you - specially if his attitude to your trying to discuss with him is like this (how you could know better than I etc.). It doesn´t sound very respectful and just this husband should be for his wife: patient, respectful...

You could of course ask him to discuss kind of matters with local imam but I afraid he wouldn´t accept to do so, if he has already decided to believe in this matter (and maybe some similar ones) by his own way - without any evidences.

Anyways; you better tell him honestly what his attitude about your knowledge feels of your mind before marriage.
 

queenislam

★★★I LOVE ALLAH★★★
Assalamu aleikum,

I'm engaged and inshallah will be married this time next year. The problem is I discovered later he has some strange ideas and that he doesn't handle comments about those well.... One example is that according to him, Isa (pbuh) is sheitan. I really don't know where he gets this idea, but when I challenge him, giving examples from the Qur'an. He reacts like 'YOU, are challenging ME on islam?!? I have been a muslim all my life, you just converted, so how can you know better then me.' He refuses to even look at the evidence I give with my suggestions. I really don't know how to handle this.... :(

:salam:
Dearest sister,
You are facing very serious issue altogether your future too
with this kind of man.
to be honest ,he is not a stable person,(he could be on drug or something)
my advice to you is to refer his issue with the Islamic counseling service near where you are staying for follow up on what step you should be taking and getting him straighten up his 'corrupted brain' (sorry for that) and that he seriously need help badly.

~My Allah swt help,protect and guide all muslims~Amin!

Take care,
~Wassalam.
 

Aida1

Junior Member
assalamu aleikum,
Thank you all for your advice. I have discussed this issue with an imam at a mosque here now. He said my fiance perhaps feels insecure about his knowledge of islam and that's why he reacts so upset to suggestions about this knowledge. I talked to my fiance after that in a calm and non-accusitory way and explained to him that my intentions with my suggestions are pure and that my concern is real. I gave him a few short articles to read (ones that the imam had given me). I just got a message he has read them. He was willing because they came from a trusted source. He has now admitted he has learned wrong things about some issues in islam, but that he desperately wants to learn, since apparently his knowledge is lacking in some points and he does want to be a good muslim. He apologised for his reaction and his judgement about what I have learned about islam since coming to the religion. He is now looking for a course at a mosque or islamic centre to learn. Finally, he said that if I ever notice anything about his ideas that to my knowledge isn't correct, I should absolutely tell him, so he can investigate and he promised he will not react as he did before.
All in all, I hope all will end well. Hamdulillah it will be another year before I am intended to marry him, so I can see if there is progress and if he is indeed serious about learning.
 

Mabsoot

Amir
Staff member
ma sha Allah, thats cool sister. In sha Allah things will work out! May Allah guide us all to the right way, Allahumma amin!

Wasalamu alaykum
 
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