Husband going on holiday??

[MubarekMuslimah]

Asslaamau alaikum

I was having a discussion with my friends and the subject of holidays came up. We were discussing the husband's responsibilities and what happens if he goes on holiday with some brothers, and without his wife.

Basically we could not agree/ do not know the ruling on a husband going away on holiday and leaving his wife alone for a few days and nights - about a week. Is it allowed? the brothers in the group seem to think it would be ok of course but us sisters disagree - not cos we want to stop them having a holiday! - but because a husband's role is to defend and protect his wife and family and he is responsible for their safety, well-being and their deen and going away for a holiday or such means he is not doing this - he can't protect her.

Is it allowed for a husband to go away and leave his wife alone?

Some of the brothers cited that in the time of the Prophet pbuh , the men were often away in Jihad - but I was thinking that this is not an appropriate example to follow since they are going on holiday and not jihad? going on jihad was going away in the cause of Allah swt - a holiday with the brothers is not!!

Anyways it was a quite light hearted conversation and no-one got upset or anything - but we admitted we do not know the ruling on this. Obviously I know a wife cannot travel without her mahrem for longer than certain periods of time - some sources say 3 or 2 or 1 day . But is there a similar thing for the men?

Can the husband leave the wife alone for more than 1 day and 1 night ?

If anyone can help much appreciated

Jazak'allah khair

Salaams

 

[visionusman]

Assalamualaikum. To understand the issue you have raised sister, you must first differentiate between abandonement and temporarily leaving a wife behind. When your husband goes to work, for the few hours that he is away has he left you alone to fend for yourself? Who is protecting you at that time. Protection does not mean literally standing gaurd. As long as he has given you enough money and has told you where he is going then it is definitely okay. Of course he should not leave you alone with out a good reason for too long. I'm not sure how long but I think it has to be reasonable.

When the Prophet SAW used to travel (for whatever reason) he did not take all his wives with him. So by default he did of course leave some of his wives behind. It would be better to travel with your wife, but remember that every person needs some space once in a while and I do personally think that is important. Once in a while you might need to go with your mates. Women too go with their family at times and the husband doesn't go with them all the time. Imagine if you had no space, that you could never be alone with your parents, sisters, or brothers. That your husband was always with you. Wouldn't that be hard? Going on a holiday is not haraam if the man has provided his family with all the requisites needed. Besides even Hajj becomes obligatory on the man, if he can afford it himself but can't afford to take his wife. In such circumstances it is obligatory for the man to go by himself.

 

[abou haytam]

Asslaamau alaikum

Basically we could not agree/ do not know the ruling on a husband going away on holiday and leaving his wife alone for a few days and nights

i don t agree that a man go for a holiday(tourism and having fun) and leave his wife. taking care his wife is a full time job. it s injust to leave here alone. it mean for me that she is nothing for him. in those holidays man is exposed to Fitna, he maybe will meat a cute girl in the airplan and all start with a look and after a smile and after an apoitement.

I will tell you a story that non-muslim taxi(here in canada) driver told me. he told me this story cuz he saw in my face that i am muslim and asked me whta was the ruling of what happen to him in islam.

One day night he have a custmer (muslim woman), she called him and her hasband were absent (maybe he was working night) she was pregnent and was sick. In the road to hospital, to his surprise the woman was screaming and want to give birth to his baby. the hospital was far, he stop the taxi and helped her to give birth to her baby, yes the hijabi muslim woman gave birth to his baby in taxi with a help of a taxi driver . the question of the guy to me is : is it allowed for him to see her legs and genital organe cuz she was full covred by a hijab? (let the response of this question in an other thread). So brothers, imagine you go on holiday and things like that happen to your wife. If she is not pregnant maybe there will be a fire in the house and she will be homeless during the absent of her hasband...etc etc etc.

here are a link to learn about : Ruling on travelling for fun (tourism)

http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=52845&ln=eng&txt=السياحة

salam o alikom.

my advise to my brothers that are maried: fear allah and take care of your wifes

here are the last sermon of our prophet in hajjat al Wadaa


O People, it is true that you have certain rights over your women, but they also have rights over you [Men and Women have equal rights]. Remember that you have taken them as your wives only under God's trust and with His permission. If they abide by your right then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Treat your women well and be kind to them, for they are your partners and committed helpers. It is your right and they do not make friends with anyone of whom you do not approve, as well as never to be unchaste...

salam

 

[umm hussain]

Walaikum salam warahmatullah

I do not see any reason why a husband should not go away on holiday for a week or so without his wife or vice versa..Sometimes people do need some time away from each other. A woman can travel on her own without a mahram for a journey not more than a day away, if the journey is more than a days travel then her mahram can take her there and leave her then can come back and pick her up, but it is said the amount she spends there does not really matter as long as husband agrees.

About the house burning down while he is away, well all I can say that can also happen when he is there or when he has gone to work. If it does happen when he is away just get out of the house if you can and call 911/999 or whatever emergency number is and tell him all about it when he gets back. People can die in a house as well husband and wife included so it does not mean if husband is there it is sure proof the house is not going to burn down.

If a husband wants to chat up a woman I do not think he only waits for holiday to do it, he can do it any time and please let us not forget we are talking about Muslims so maybe he fears Allah and would NEVER think about that. If it is a person who does not fear Allah then like I said Holiday is not the only opportunity to cheat on his wife.

A husband should not go to work either then because anything can happen in his absence and the wife should Never leave the house without her husband because anything can happen and he should constantly be watching over his wife and maybe try and stay up forever just in case he falls asleep and something happens to his wife. Maybe intruders will come into the house{ May Allah forbid that ever happens though} while he is fast asleep and carry his wife away and he will not here a thing lol. With the way my hubby sleeps I guess that is a possibility, he can't even hear the baby cry next to him lol

The taxi driver who helped the woman give birth well I guess that was Qadr Allah it could have happened even if she was out shopping while the husband was at work. Male doctors often Assist women giving birth Muslim or not with the women's husbands right there. I do not think there are many cases where husbands 'play midwife' so someone is bound to see his wife's legs and All whether he is there or not.

Fitnah is not ONLY in holiday places. I mean the whole world is a holiday place so fitnah is everywhere so it is up to the persons goals and objectives and let us not be unnecessarily suspicious of each other.

yes I have gone away for up to a week on my own and hubby stays with the children visiting sisters and he has been away on his own visiting brothers and I will definitely not be constantly checking on him or vice versa and when we do see each other again it is great because we actually get to miss each other. I am actually planning on going away soon for maybe another week this time with the children to give hubby time alone to study or whatever.

 

[Saeed O.J]

Assalam Alykom:

I personally believe that a man can travel depending on the purposes. For example if the husband travels for work objectives I consider its possible. But for holiday I dont think its appropriate because it is not fair for the wife to fulfil her duty and reesponsibilties while the husband is on vacation. Secondly, he ''husband'' must avoid ''fitnah'' at all times by travelling with his wife and the childern. Thats my opinion!!!

Can Women Travel Without A Mahram?

Answered by Shaykh Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari


In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,

Generally, it is impermissible for a woman to travel the distance of three days (equivalent to 48 miles) without her husband or a Mahram (unmarriageable kin) accompanying her.

There are many clear narrations of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) in this regard.
1) Sayyiduna Abu Sa’id al-Khudri (mayAllah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “Let no woman travel for more than three days unless her husband or a Mahram is with her”. (Sahih Muslim).

2) Sayyiduna Abd Allah ibn Umar (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “A woman must not travel for three days except with a Mahram”. (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 1036 & Sahih Muslim).

3) Sayyiduna Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “It is unlawful for a woman who believes in Allah and the last day that she travels the distance of one day and one night without a Mahram accompanying her”. (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 1038).

4) Sayyiduna Ibn Abbas (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “'A woman must not travel except with a Mahram and a man must not enter upon her except if she has a Mahram”. (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 1763)
A woman is not permitted to travel without a mahram because of the hadeeth narrated by Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him), who reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A woman should absolutely not travel unless she has a mahram with her.” A man stood up and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I have enlisted in such-and-such a military campaign, and my wife has set out for Hajj.” He said, “Go and do Hajj with your wife.” (al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 3006).

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

If I may, the question that has not been spoken is this: Is there trust in the realtionship.
If there is trust there is no issue. Yes, people have different interests. Men go hunting and fishing..please let them go...they can have the bug bites and mud and let them clean the fish etc.
If there is no trust...let him go...he will do that which his heart calls him to do.
The question then becomes how do you work out the trust issue.
In long term relationships it is common for men to vacation with friends....it does not imply that the man has relinquished his love or responsibility.
There needs to be open communication. There should be no hurt feelings.
Some couples do everything together others need space...but there has to be mutual agreement.

 

[Rosheen]

Personally I have always been suspicious when non-muslim guys leave their partners to go on holiday.....I always think its suspect!

In this case the opinion would be would you as a wife mind or not if he went away for a few days?

 

[MubarekMuslimah]

Assalaamu alaikum

Jazak'allah kahir all for your replies. Let me clarify a few things - first of all this isn't about me and my hubbie - it was a more a hypothetical thing raised in a group of 3 couples. I wouldn't mind if my husband goes away with the brothers - I trust him 100% however what I wanted to know was not really opinions, but Islamic ruling with regards to his responsibilities?? Jazak'allah for all your posts its been very interesting to hear different perspectives. As I said don't mind if my husband were to go but is it right FOR HIM Islamically? It made me think theres a ruling on women travelling without mahrem because she has no protection - so what if she is left in a situation alone ( few nights etc not few hours) without a mahrem?? Does he take responsibility for that??

It is true that when we go to work I do not have a mahrem with me but then of course its for a few hours and he knows where I am and we are only a few hours apart if something happened and I needed help. And we have to go to work unfortuanatly!

One thing I thought was yeah its better if I were to stay with a mahrem if he were to go away - but then as none of my mahrems are muslim - that throws up a whole load of other issues about safeguarding my deen??

Anyways thank you all for your input its made me think of a few new side to things - once again this isn't really about me and my hubbie - more that theres ruling on women travelling - so are there any for men - specifically husbands? Its got me intrigued. Personally I dont mind if he goes cos he would be going with brothers - so everything would be halal - its not a question of trust in our circumstance though I guess it could be for other couples.

I would be interested to see a proper detailed explanation of a husband and a wife's resposibilities if anyone has one insha'allah??

Jazak'allah khair!!

Salaams

 

[jabba]

Salam
If my husband were to go away for a few days with the guys, I wouldn't mind.....as long as he brings me back a souvenir

 

[Rosheen]

Thinking on it a bit more it would be cool to let him make hajj or umra and for some reason you could not go. If its a jolly to Ibiza forget it lol!

 

[visionusman]

I would be interested to see a proper detailed explanation of a husband and a wife's resposibilities if anyone has one insha'allah??

"The Fragile Vessels" by Muahmmed Al-Jibaly is a good read.

Regarding the subject of a man going on a holiday all by himself and how it matches up to the instructions given to women with regards to travelling with a mahrem, the following might serve as an answer:

If an un married woman needs to travel, she shouldn't do so without a mahrem. So obviously this instruction does not change once she gets married. On the other hand an unmarried man has no such obligation. He can travel alone or with mates if he so wishes. He is not prohibited from travelling, or is he? Once he gets married he does have duties towards his wife and family, but that does not change the fact that he is allowed to travel alone if he so needs to. The question is not what a woman might want, but rather what is her right and what is the man's right. If a wife doesn't want her husband to travel with mates, she should remember that he does not need her permission where as if she wishes to travel then she does need his permission. Let us not make this a useless debate. We all know Islam considers women and men different.

 

[TheKnowledgeSeeker]

assalamu alaykum

In my opinion I think it is OK but it real depends on trust between the spouses. But why would a husband leave during holidays? Holidays are the time for family and it wouldn’t be holiday if you don’t have your family with you. I personal wouldn’t let my husband leave during a holidays but would let him leave any time of the year. I mean you are married or getting marry doesn’t total mean you have to give up your life or does? Sister i know you said you don't mind your husband go with brothers but i think you should especial if the brothers are all single it is not good idea plus with shetan and if they don't like you. It is just my opinion but it real depends on how much your trust your husband!! Trust is your answear to your question and i don't know islamic laws that are against that.

Personally I have always been suspicious when non-muslim guys leave their partners to go on holiday.....I always think its suspect!

In this case the opinion would be would you as a wife mind or not if he went away for a few days?

hey sis how come you wouldn't be suspicious if it is or was muslim husband? I mean some of us are muslim doesn't mean they follow the islam laws and it doesn't mean we shouldn't be susupicious cos they are muslim.

 

[jabba]

hey sis how come you wouldn't be suspicious if it is or was muslim husband? I mean some of us are muslim doesn't mean they follow the islam laws and it doesn't mean we shouldn't be susupicious cos they are muslim.

:salam2:
no kiddding, I used to work at a place where there were lots of Muslim customers, the guys that came in wow it was unbelievabhle :astag: the things they did and said were very unIslamic. Then if they came in with their wives they were on their best behaviour.....crazy

 

[najbc]

Assalamu alaykum,

I agree with brother umm hussain. men or women can go to vacation and people do need space sometimes. the husband goes to visit his family and the wife visit her family. holidays are time to spent time with your familes and the spouse see each other everyday, so they each sholu visit their own families.

 

[najbc]

:salam2:
no kiddding, I used to work at a place where there were lots of Muslim customers, the guys that came in wow it was unbelievabhle :astag: the things they did and said were very unIslamic. Then if they came in with their wives they were on their best behaviour.....crazy

well sis, it is about trust. how well do you trust your husband or wife.

 

[jabba]

well sis, it is about trust. how well do you trust your husband or wife.

Salam
lol read my other response in this thread, you'll see I trust my husband more than anyone

 

[Lily1]

A holiday? I don't think so. Pranking laughing playing with some friends and leave your wife and kids for that...seriously logic is the biggest ruling. And the man you compares a holiday with going to jihad, well all I have to say is I'll be more than happy to pack my husband's lunch if he leaves for jihad.