Question: Husband Making a Wife do Sin?

Discussion in 'Islamic Discussion' started by HirraJaved, Jun 18, 2016.

  1. HirraJaved
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    HirraJaved Junior Member

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    I don't want to complain about stuff but I'm in this situation and I don't want to sin nor do I want my husband to. I don't intend to back bite or anything I just need some input because according to my dad you're supposed to listen to your husband "even if you're praying and he calls you, your allowed to leave your prayer" he says which I haven't heard anywhere else before. Anyways my husband tells me to do so many things that are sins and I even tell him not to but he doesn't listen. For example he makes me listen to music, he just plays it or whatever. Even during ramadhan! I tell him at least don't do it then but he tells me just listen to it. He makes me masturbate with him on video cause he lives far away. For so many months I've been refusing him and thank goodness Ramadan came because now he can't make me but on eid he wants to do it and I will continue to refuse. He tells me I'm stubborn but I'm just sick of sinning and I don't want to be punished in the hereafter. I won't see him for another year though and I don't know how long I can keep this up without him forcing me to do it again. Another point as you all know making images is a major sin. He's a photographer and he wants to do this as a job even though I've told him its a sin and he said he knows. He said when I come to Pakistan next year he's gonna take pictures of me and he said I can't say no I have to do this for him. I know that all of a woman is aura and it is not permissible for pictures of her to be taken. I'm so lost, i try to avoid sinning as best I even refuse to but he takes this as I don't love him and my dad takes it as I'm being disobedient to him! I don't want to sin nor do I want to put others in sin. Please don't take this as my husband is a big bad guy because he's not, he's very caring and sweet but this is just a question. How can avoid sinning in these types of situations?
  2. queenislam
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    queenislam ★★★I LOVE ALLAH★★★

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    Bismillahirrahmanirrahim:
    Allah swt will raise to higher rank people
    who have and use their knowledge .
    ~Holy qur"an

    Dear sister,
    We are not puppets so use your head! You can say 'No' if it is against the akidah of Islam and if he wish to proceed leave him alone !
    Unless he use force or beating you than you can report him to his parent or call in for counselling.
    ~Wassalam ☺
  3. HirraJaved
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    HirraJaved Junior Member

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    Sister I do say no but he doesn't listen to me. He thinks because he's the husband i must listen to him. I always say no to the masturbating and he persists on asking. I was gonna say no to the photo shoots but he said at least do this one thing for me. He said I'm not asking you to be a model. Still, I'm gonna say no when I get to Pakistan and he asks me then. I hope he will listen. He tends to drag me into things I don't want to do. I'm trying to be strong willed here, I told him to quit playing music but he does not do that either. That and watching Bollywood movies. I also want to stop him from sinning because I don't want him to be punished. He seems to think Allah won't forgive him for stuff but I explained to him Allah forgives all sins. That still didn't affect him.
  4. happilyeverhereafter
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    happilyeverhereafter Not a perfect Muslim but a striving one! :)

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    Yes, a wife should be obedient to the husband except when it comes to something haram. So alhamduiliah, it's good that you stand up for that! Your dad is sorta right when it comes to prayer, but it goes for the sunnah prayers as you cannot leave the obligatory ones. I know for instance, say you're praying Sunnah & your parents ask of you to do something, in this case, it's best to listen to your parents This would be the same for going to your husband because your husband is someone you should listen to because leaving Sunnah isn't a sin...it's not obligatory whereas it's obligatory to listen to your parents or your husband.

    I believe in the previous forum post, you mentioned when you had your nikah, you weren't practicing. correct? And now you're trying to be a better Muslim? So maybe when he married you, he never thought that you would change & become religious. Did you get to meet him before marriage? What made you want to marry him? But I know it seems hard because you're trying to stay away from sins & he's pulling you closer to it. Yes, he's nice & caring, masha'Allah! But at the same time, it seems like he's lacking in the deen & that can either rub off on you & affect you in some way or you can influence him for the better. I'm not saying he's a bad person or that he won't change for the better. Allahu Alam! I'm just saying that it's a little scary to see that he doesn't seem to stop bad habits (or at least want to stop) even during Ramadan. But keep strong, sis- keep on advising him & insha'Allah, you'll be rewarded for staying away from haram even when you're pressured by your husband to do so!

    I do have a question for you- is your family here in America or there in Pakistan?
  5. HirraJaved
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    HirraJaved Junior Member

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    My family is in America but my husband is in Pakistan. About the leaving the sunnah prayers, that makes a lot more sense! My dad was taking about prayers in general which I thought was wrong. I really wasn't that practicing when I met my husband. My dad was there but he let us talk in private and stuff and I felt this connection. I thought he could make me a better Muslim because at the time he seemed more practicing than me, but now it's the opposite! I practice more than him and I gotta try to keep him from sin. It's kinda difficult now because he's all the way on the the other side of the world and I can't exactly do much but In Sha Allah when he comes here to America, I will change him for the better. He's not the strict type of husband Alhamdulillah, he listens to me sometimes too and I love that about him. He just needs to be here or I need to be with him in order for some of my religiousness to rub off on him lol.
  6. happilyeverhereafter
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    happilyeverhereafter Not a perfect Muslim but a striving one! :)

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    Ah, I see! That's quite understandable of hard it can be because you two are on opposite sides of the world & I can imagine it's not easy when you're not around the person whom you love & you don't have that person there to help you when you slack in the deen. But insha'Allah, when you two are together, it will be easier to help each other on the deen. It's nice that listens to what you have to say as well. Alhamduiliah, good communication skills!
    • Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah x 1
  7. Abu Juwairiya
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    Abu Juwairiya Junior Member

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    As it is Ramadan sister, what about asking him to spend some time in the Masjid for some of the last ten days. You can get someone to speak to him about major and minor sins in general at the masjid and he might just listen. In the Sunnah as you know, a minor sin becomes a major sin if it is taken lightly, is done consistently and deliberately [with the thought it is only a minor sin] and no sincere repentance is made. All major sins are capital crimes in the Shariah and as such are a very serious matter.
  8. Safiyah_
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    Safiyah_ Junior Member

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    U should ALWAYS obey to Allah first ! Dear sister this story really hurts for me as a woman. You are being abused and that's not what islam stands for.
    I don't know the culture there but there is a big difference between culture and islam.. unfortunately its something most people don't accept
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