Husband spend every night praying all night

[I.Iman]

Salam Aleikum

I am newlywed to my husband, and also not so long ago since I converted to Islam. This question is more because I'd like to hear some opinions, or if someone is in the same situation and could give any advice, from any hadith, the Quran etc I would be greatful.

My husband spends almost every night in the mosque, praying and seeing brothers. This is good. What's not so good is that we have no time for each other, and we also have a daughter (mine) who is 3 years old. We see each other at dinner, then when I put or daughter to sleep, he goes. Then he'll be back around midnight when I'm asleep. (we also work full time both of us). A few days ago, I tried to get near him, since our daughter felt asleep early. This got him very angry saying I tried to make him miss the Salat. So he went out angry and said we are now going to live together but no intimacy since there is many other things more important in life. Now I am just very confused, and
hurt, how to deal with this??
I am myself very dedicated to Islam, but having it difficult to see why you cannot practising Islam without have to give up marriage intimacy.

Salam and thank you for any answer

 

[um muhammad al-mahdi]

sister,

Abdullah Bin 'Amr Bin al-'As (radiAllahu 'anhu) reported that Allah's Messenger (sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said to him:

"O 'Abdullah, I have been informed that you fast (consecutive) days and stand (full) nights (in prayer). Do not do this, because if you do, your eye becomes weary, and your body becomes sick. Fast (on some days) and break your fast (on others), and get up (for the night prayer) and sleep. Indeed, your body has a right upon you, your eyes have a right upon you, and your wife has a right upon you. Indeed, it would suffice you to fast three days from each month, because you get for each good deed ten times its worth. This will equate fasting the whole time." (Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others)

as you are newly wed to your huisband masha'Allah also I would suggest you to speak about the situation with him insha'Allah! Speak as his sister in Islam too, not just as a wife, insha'Allah. Be honest to him, mention him the hadith and make lots of du'as to Allah to facilitate the situation insha'Allah!

Where are you from sis, if I can ask?

 

[I.Iman]

Salam sister, and thank you for answering. (I'm from Sweden btw). Yes, I have indeed tried to approach this matter with him, although he take this the wrong way. But probably it's My fault that cannot explain this properly to him, and also not wanna upset him. Any advice on how to do this? I fear if I come and say read this and that, it would make him angry. I did say it was the Prophets (peace be upon him) sunnah to be close to a wife. This resulted that he said he didn't care, intimacy is not all, got really angry and went out. Is it normal a husband spend all night in the mosque, or should he come home in between salat? (we live nearby).

Salam

May Allah (swt) bless you sister

 

[I.Iman]

Oh, I forgot. This hadith Al Bukhari, is it authentic? Because I talked to him about this one before and he said you cannot belive in everything. I thought this was one you could belive in? So therefore he didn't wanna here anything I referred to unless it's Quran, or something he did find about Islam.

 

[I.Iman]

:shymuslima1:

Also, he mentioned if we would miss a salat because we had intimacy, we get bad "points". And by that he means praying in the mosque, not at home. So even if he dont miss the time for salat, but he miss the time in the mosque, we would get bad "points". I have searched the internet for this, but haven't found a reliable source yet. So please fill me in if this is true. This has not hapened once, and we do all our prayers at time, Alhamdulillah!
I am sorry if it sound like all complain, I know that is wrong. I just need some info. were this is wrong or not. I love My husband and thank God (swt) for every day in My marriage.

 

[mahaseeb]

Salam sister, and thank you for answering. (I'm from Sweden btw). Yes, I have indeed tried to approach this matter with him, although he take this the wrong way. But probably it's My fault that cannot explain this properly to him, and also not wanna upset him. Any advice on how to do this? I fear if I come and say read this and that, it would make him angry. I did say it was the Prophets (peace be upon him) sunnah to be close to a wife. This resulted that he said he didn't care, intimacy is not all, got really angry and went out. Is it normal a husband spend all night in the mosque, or should he come home in between salat? (we live nearby).

Salam

May Allah (swt) bless you sister

Asalamualikum....
Welcome to to this forum sister. I am really happy to see a swedish revert sister here alhamdulillah. The hadith mentioned by sister um-muhammed which gives you the answer.But sister what you have to see here is now the magrib prayer is arround 22:15 and isha prayer is arround 23:30.So, if your husband goes to masjid for prayers then may be he thinks he will miss the congregational prayer.And then the remaining sunnah and nawafil prayers makes it late and the next prayer fajar is arround 2:30 am so have to wake up early.May be this might be the reason and as you mentioned that your husband meets brothers after prayer and stays long you know sister when brothers meet in masjid they talk a little bit.So this might be the reason sister.So, don't get sad sister.And talk to your husband inshallah things will be better.
May allah bless you and solve your problem sister... ameen
Asalamualikum
Abdul Haseeb

 

[I.Iman]

Salam sisters! And brothers! May Allah (swt) bless you all

A sufi?

He comes home after work at 18-18.30 every night. Eat, then goes (drives) to the mosque at 20.00 (8) and comes home around 00.30, read islam or sleep, pray, sleep, then off to work.,

 

[mahaseeb]

Asalamualikum..

syster jag tror att du har förstådd som jag har skrivit förut men bli inte ledsen syster för att salah tiden nu är liten udda tider .Just nu jag hadde kommit hema från moske.

OBS! Jag vet att jag måste lära sig svenska men jag försöker att förklara dig på svenska.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

The issue is really not about Islam and his worship. The issue is more commonplace and he is using Islam as an excuse.

You have a child that is at a demanding age. Some men do not like responsibility. It is tedious. He may be scared of the pregnancy and early childhood deal. Some men do not like what happens to a woman's body during pregnancy and after childbirth. Often women pay more attention to the child and Yes, the husband gets jealous.

Sister, please go to the masjid and ask the Imam to speak to you, the couple. Your husband has issues that he is evading. He is not fulfilling the marriage contract.