I have a question

[Almeftah]

salamu alaikom

There are three types of thing a muslim does to gain the Satisfaction of Allah swt:

1. obligatory ways (Faraid or Awamir) like Salah(prayer), Syam(fasting)..etc. every muslim MUST do them no matter what.
2. Forbidden things (impermissible or Nwahi) like Drinking(Khamr), Eating porks..etc. which are considered of great sins.
3. Between those of (1) and (2).. there are Sunnah things, those things a muslim does by following the Prophet pbuh in every ways.

Note: chosing to commit to those things or not, depends on the digree of faith.

- a true faithful muslim would try his best to commit to all of those rulings even if the cost was his life.
- a muslim without faith or with tiny faith would leave most of them even if its of a great deal. like those who dont make Salah or Syiam..
- a muslim with mild faith would try to commit to those thought to be of importance rulings, and may ocationally do those of which he/she consider of less importance.

So now you deside which of those are you, or want to be?

 

[Turk Gumption]

Also what should we do in society? I am prohibited for many things in society such as going out, talking with men, shaking hands with men and so. We live in a different age than ages before. We should interact people, we go to schools, we work... How does it go on with women?

Selamun Aleykum

I also wonder sanction for shaking hand with opposite sex person. After one bad experience i usually shake womens hand if she attempt for it. But to be honest i never approve for my own sister to shake mans hand or go out alone...:astag:

 

[TiLK]

But to be honest i never approve for my own sister to shake mans hand or go out alone...:astag:

Excuse me my question. Its little bit OT, but tell me please, why do so many Turkish or Muslim men think that they have any right to talk to life of their sisters? For example if I would have sister, I cant imagine that I would ever tell her what to do or to prohibit her something (of course if we wouldnt have parrents and I would have to take care of her, it would be different).
Thank you

 

[seekinghelp]

Forgive me if I am misunderstanding you and your orignial question...but what I beleive you are asking is this:

if you don't understand something and you do it anyway, is the reward going to be granted to you?

Like for instance, Allah SWT says to come to Him with sincere intentions when you commit a sin and He will forgive. Because He knows what's in your heart right? So in your question, you are basically asking that if you go to him and ask for forgiveness, but you don't really feel the guilt deep down inside and you are just doing it because you are supposed too, will you still be forgiven for that particular sin right?

And this applies to other things as well in your thoughts..like if you wear Hijab only because you are supposed too, but you don't know why you are wearing it and your intentions for wearing it are just because. No connection to the REAL reason...so in this case, will He accept this as a sign of your devotion?!

I think these are good examples of what you are asking. Of course there are probably more things than this, but it's the same.

My thoughts are that you can only do what you know at this time. If you don't understand something, then find out abuot it, if still you don't understand then don't worry. I am sure I will get some backlash for this but honestly, when you focus so much on the minute details you get lost. You get confused.

It took me a long time to realize that Islam is simple. PEOPLE MAKE IT HARD to follow by bombarding you with all the "rules" and you feel sad and not sincere because you can't live up to all those "rules" right now and this will cause you to have feelings of insecurity and doubt towards Islam.

So forget about them. Focus only on what is really important at this time and that is your relationship with Allah SWT. Once you form that, then all other things will fall into place. I assure you. Once you realize that those so called "rules" are NOT what makes you a Muslim, then you will not question. You will know what you need to do and once you educate yourself more and you come across something that you feel you cannot do because it is so strict, then if your relationship with Him is solid you won't ever feel soemthing is strict. You will just slide right into the role your heart will just simply accept without question.

I read something and I will leave it here for you. It helped me alot.

I wish you the best
Salam Alykom

This is all you need. You read it and it tells you so much. It helps you to see how SIMPLE it is and how DIFFICULT us or others will make it out to be and there is not reason in that.

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

When a person spends his entire day with no other concern but Allãah Alone, Allãah, may He be glorified, will take care of all his needs and take care of all that is worrying him; He will empty his heart so that it will be filled only with love for Him, free his tongue so that it will speak only in remembrance of Him (dhikr) and cause all his faculties to work only in obedience to Him.

But if a person spends his entire day with no other concern but this world, Allãah will make him bear its distress, anxiety and pain; He will leave him to sort himself out, and cause his heart to be distracted from the love of Allãah towards the love of some created being, cause his tongue to speak only in remembering people instead of remembering Allãah, and cause him to use his talents and energy in obeying and serving them. So he will strive hard, laboring like some work-animal, to serve something other than Allãah

Everyone who turns away from being a true slave of Allâah and obeying Him and loving Him will be burdened with servitude, love and obedience to some created being. Allãah says (interpretation of the meaning): And whosoever turns away (blinds himself) from the remembrance of the Most Beneficent (Allãah), We appoint for him a Shaytaan (devil) to be a qareen (intimate companion) to him. [al-Zukhruf 43:36].

Al-Fawaa'id, p. 159

It was narrated that Anas (may Allãah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allãah be upon him) said: Whoever is mainly concerned about the Hereafter, Allãah will make him feel independent of others and will make him focused and content, and his worldly affairs will fall into place. But whoever is mainly concerned with this world, Allâah will make him feel in constant need of others and will make him distracted and unfocused, and he will get nothing of this world except what is decreed for him. (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2389; classed as Saheeh by Shaikh al-Albaani

 

[seekinghelp]

and another thing, please, PLEASE don't focus on the actions of others.
Like the Brothers and Men who forbid women to do this and that.

This is NOT and ISSUE FOR YOU!!! It is not something you HAVE to accept. When the time is right and you meet someone, if they possess the qualities of a good Muslim, and they are kind and gentle and you two can get along then that is all that matters.
If he is dominate and requires things of you that you simply cannot accept or understand, then my suggestion is to move on.

Most convert women cannot understand the actions and traditions of some men of different culture because we are so used to our own. We have been drilled in our minds the independence and strength of a woman. Some women in some parts of the world, are subject to other ways. It is all they know.

I am not saying it's a bad thing, but it shouldnt be an issue for you because NOT ALL muslim men are this way. In Islam, the woman is to be treated fairly and just. She is revered as something great for her husband. She is not to be treated poorly. You may think in your mind that controlling that goes on in some cultures by the men is unnacceptable and that is ok. Because it is of NO CONCERN to you.

If you constantly focus on THESE things...you will NEVER be able to see the bigger picture.

So as long as someone is not "controlling" you, why worry about it?

There is nothing wrong with it if you really think about it. They love their women and do not want harm to come to them. That is all. So what we in the States may see as dominance, to them is protection. Simple as that.

 

[TiLKi]

- a true faithful muslim would try his best to commit to all of those rulings even if the cost was his life.
- a muslim without faith or with tiny faith would leave most of them even if its of a great deal. like those who dont make Salah or Syiam..
- a muslim with mild faith would try to commit to those thought to be of importance rulings, and may ocationally do those of which he/she consider of less importance.

So now you deside which of those are you, or want to be?

Sure, every Muslimah would want to be like first one.

 

[TiLK]

Excuse me my question. Its little bit OT, but tell me please, why do so many Turkish or Muslim men think that they have any right to talk to life of their sisters? For example if I would have sister, I cant imagine that I would ever tell her what to do or to prohibit her something (of course if we wouldnt have parrents and I would have to take care of her, it would be different).
Thank you

Hm, may this be a reason? -
The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: {Whoever has three daughters or three
sisters and supports them will enter Heaven.}