i just hate her...pathetic

[allah is with me]

:salam2: brothers and sisters....
i am so tensed, yesterday i had been to my uncles home for he had invited us for iftaar, and all came and my mothers sister and her family also came...
i just went out so that i can speak to my close cousin bro, and she(my mothers sis) was standing over there and started saying me that i know who is you husband... that to infront of all....i had some incident, i had got some hurt to my finger, so she started saying that he felt very sad after knowing about my finger.... and all were so serious and asking her who? then she said wait i will show you, and she did to all..and i know who he was, he was my fathers sisters son
i felt so bad, and so embarassed..
who is she to judge my future?...
its only allah!, and we should not think that how are husband will be in future, but we should think which moment will allah take our soul...
who is she to predict my future ..
pathetic...
i am just sad for she said infront of all..
what will they think of me?...
now we are inviting them for iftaar, and when she will come i will say her that ' WOW! AUNTY , YOUR AN FORTUNE TELLER, YOU CAN PREDICT WHO MY FUTURE HUSBAND IS HA?, YOUR NOT ALLAH TO JUDGE MY FUTURE '...
will that be better, ot should i say more?...
i wanna say it in front of all....
i was really hurted, and i will never talk to her, just hate her....
i want my respect back infront of my close cousin....
ya allah! what kind of lady is she?

 

[slaveofAllah88]

aslam o aliakum
sis, yea u r right, thats totally weird WOW, and who gave her the choice to decide its like she is forcing u or making ur mind about it without any given reasons

just sis dont worry about it too much or let it upset u inshallah taala may Allah (swt) guide us all - ameen

 

[allah is with me]

your right bro!.....
she is too much, i really never knew that she could be like this...
i will say her those words stated above, she has to understand that whatever she did was wrong...

 

[ProudToBeaMuslim]

your right bro!.....
she is too much, i really never knew that she could like this...
i will say her those words stated above, she has to understand that whatever she did was wrong...

:salam2:
No sister, Listen carefully, this is not what you should do.
I will get back to you with reason. iA Please wait.

 

[allah is with me]

okay sis!!

 

[ProudToBeaMuslim]

:salam2: Dear Sister,
First of all my dear sister, have patience. You are in the state of anger and humiliation right now, which is quite understandable. The problem is that your aunt humiliated you in front of your family. But what is the solution to that?

The solution is right there in the problem. You.

You feel humiliated. But if you stop feeling this humiliation( by having patience and forgiving your aunt), the problem is also gone.

I know it is difficult, but do it for Allah (swt) 's sake.

Umme Kulthum bin Aqabah has related that the eternally blessed Messenger of Allah said, “The best sadaqah is the one given to inimical relatives.” (Hakim and Tibrani: AI Targheeb wa al Targheeb, p.120. volume 4)

Real and true good treatment is the one given even when one's relations treat him badly; this earns much merit. Abu Hurairah relates "Someone said to the Messenger of Allah 'I have some relatives whom I treat well, but they deny me my rights; I treat them well, but they treat me badly. I am forbearing, but they quarrel with me'. The Messenger of Allah said 'If this is really so then you are feeding them hot ashes. Allah shall always give you a helper.'” (Sahih Muslim).

It means that they were acquiring hell fire by their deeds, and they would never harm him; rather he would be helped against them by Allah.

Just Imagine sister. How great that deed of forgiveness will be, especially during the month of Ramadan.

Good treatment of relatives is very pleasing to Allah and earns much merit. It has also been enjoined by the Holy Quran in several places and its merits described, for instance (AI Nisa': 36) Show kindness unto parents and unto near kindred.”

(AI Nisa': 1) “Be careful of your duty towards Allah in Whom you claim your rights and towards the womb that bore you.”

Abu Hurairah relates that our Holy Prophet, may he be eternally blessed, said that "He who believes in Allah and in the Day of Judgment, should treat his relations well.” (Bukhari and Muslim) And according to Anas, the Holy Prophet said that, “He, who desires his earnings to increase and his life to be long, should treat his relations well." (Bukhari and Muslim)

Good treatment means courteous behaviour, sharing in happiness and grief and helping them in a lawful manner whenever required.


Coming back to your situation. Remember sister, Shaitan loves to create dispute between people, especially between those of kin. If you go and say those words to your aunt tomorrow, it'll only create more problems. Rather, the next time you see her, smile at her, and if possible, talk to her in person and tell her what the real situation is. She will feel ashamed of herself InshAllah, if you treat her this way.
Also sister, you should remember that your cousin brother is not a mahram, and it is best that you don't talk to him unnecessarily. I know that it will be difficult because you might've always considered him as a brother, but Even if you have no such feelings, Shaitan is ever present to stir those same feelings in him. I am not asking you to do this so that your aunt will stop talking about it, Rather, I am asking you to do this, again, for Allah's sake, by following the limit set by him.

Have Patience sister, and you will, Insha Allah Get through this situation like a strong believer should.
You can PM me, I would really like to help you out if any other problem arises
Take care and Salaamalikum sister.

 

[podolski11]

salam alaykum

put her on iggy sis

 

[allah is with me]

:salam2: Dear Sister,
First of all my dear sister, have patience. You are in the state of anger and humiliation right now, which is quite understandable. The problem is that your aunt humiliated you in front of your family. But what is the solution to that?

The solution is right there in the problem. You.

You feel humiliated. But if you stop feeling this humiliation( by having patience and forgiving your aunt), the problem is also gone.

I know it is difficult, but do it for Allah (swt) 's sake.

Umme Kulthum bin Aqabah has related that the eternally blessed Messenger of Allah said, “The best sadaqah is the one given to inimical relatives.” (Hakim and Tibrani: AI Targheeb wa al Targheeb, p.120. volume 4)

Real and true good treatment is the one given even when one's relations treat him badly; this earns much merit. Abu Hurairah relates "Someone said to the Messenger of Allah 'I have some relatives whom I treat well, but they deny me my rights; I treat them well, but they treat me badly. I am forbearing, but they quarrel with me'. The Messenger of Allah said 'If this is really so then you are feeding them hot ashes. Allah shall always give you a helper.'” (Sahih Muslim).

It means that they were acquiring hell fire by their deeds, and they would never harm him; rather he would be helped against them by Allah.

Just Imagine sister. How great that deed of forgiveness will be, especially during the month of Ramadan.

Good treatment of relatives is very pleasing to Allah and earns much merit. It has also been enjoined by the Holy Quran in several places and its merits described, for instance (AI Nisa': 36) Show kindness unto parents and unto near kindred.”

(AI Nisa': 1) “Be careful of your duty towards Allah in Whom you claim your rights and towards the womb that bore you.”

Abu Hurairah relates that our Holy Prophet, may he be eternally blessed, said that "He who believes in Allah and in the Day of Judgment, should treat his relations well.” (Bukhari and Muslim) And according to Anas, the Holy Prophet said that, “He, who desires his earnings to increase and his life to be long, should treat his relations well." (Bukhari and Muslim)

Good treatment means courteous behaviour, sharing in happiness and grief and helping them in a lawful manner whenever required.


Coming back to your situation. Remember sister, Shaitan loves to create dispute between people, especially between those of kin. If you go and say those words to your aunt tomorrow, it'll only create more problems. Rather, the next time you see her, smile at her, and if possible, talk to her in person and tell her what the real situation is. She will feel ashamed of herself InshAllah, if you treat her this way.
Also sister, you should remember that your cousin brother is not a mahram, and it is best that you don't talk to him unnecessarily. I know that it will be difficult because you might've always considered him as a brother, but Even if you have no such feelings, Shaitan is ever present to stir those same feelings in him. I am not asking you to do this so that your aunt will stop talking about it, Rather, I am asking you to do this, again, for Allah's sake, by following the limit set by him.

Have Patience sister, and you will, Insha Allah Get through this situation like a strong believer should.
You can PM me, I would really like to help you out if any other problem arises
Take care and Salaamalikum sister.

your right sis i have to forgive her...
and sis my cousin is already married...is there a problem eveen to that..
k, sis i will pm you, and tell you, what will that day....
and if more problems then i will surely pm to my dearest sister inshallah

 

[allah is with me]

salam alaykum

put her on iggy sis

oh really ....
I WILL, BUT I NEED YOUR HELP... (JUST KIDDIN)

 

[safiya58]

:salam2:

if it was me... I would make everyone understand that I´m hurted...! not by insulting them...! but in a kind way... I would do so first because I´m thinking at myself. If someone is treating me disrespectfull and i´m quite it would have effects on my selfesteem! and second I would want to realize them that they are not acting upon Islam...! it is up to them of course wether they will listen or not

 

[allah is with me]

your right sis!..
i wont insult her alhamdulillah after proudtobeamuslim said..
she brought me the pride path, thanks to allah...
may allah reward her for she was polite ....
and your right sis!now, i will be good with her..
thanks to allah

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

i must say if i were in ur place i dont know what i'd do:angryred:.here is a way i don't know if i'll have enough emaan to follow it myself but here .........you've got to be better than me
i say go ahead .make her pay.put ur heart and soul in it.prepare to fight :fighta:and keep this strategy in mind



forgiveness is the best revenge

some ppl think that keepng quiet and forgiveness are signs of weak but who cares sis we don't live for them so why should we design our lives according to them.our live is for allah and his happiness .so go for that.good luck

 

[allah is with me]

ya sis javeria your right...
i was really angry..
so bad, i dont wanna think about it, i feel to cry..

 

[MahyarEL-Prince]

salams
Sister Allah_is_with_me, we all have been there and been mad etc.
As you have already realised, you must forgive her and move on. Things like this may get to you, well they would actually get to anyone... but as you know, you can't diss your moms sister, she is your blood.
Forgive but don't forget, sister, n keep ya head uP!
lol peace

 

[fatima1994]

:salam2:
sis i think u need to be patient. Frankly i think ur aunt or aunty is not even worth it. Relatives sometimes do this...but remember in heart they do love u. I knw its her mistake and has absolutly NO right to predict ur or anyone's future:astag:
Trust me i know how u feel sum of my relatives are just so anoyying! they try to embarass me infront of everyone! But u knw i found a solution...."ignore them and pray that Allah guide them to the correct line"
So now they know that no matter what they say i jus give em a
i-dont-care-look and they jus shut up!! hheeheh nice ryt? Ur aunt is probably a very nice lady so dont hate her...just pray for her and welcome her nicely into ur house...DONT say that greetin u thought of sayin..though i must admit its halarious...hahhah

well sis sorry for the ranting...but hope it helps


take care!

 

[samiha]

:salam2:

and sis my cousin is already married...is there a problem eveen to that..

Yes ukhti, even then he is non-Mahram to you. I know in culture and everything else often it is made to seem as if our cousins are really our brothers (the same is where I come from) in reality they are as much of a stranger as the men walking in the street - since they can equally marry you.

Therefore I think you know this answer yourself dear sister - If a man passing by you on the street were married, so does this mean it is alright to speak with him and be close?

As for your situation, bear with patience and as was said forgive her. We are all human, and we all have mistakes an failings, so remember this hadeeth:

Abu Sa`id and Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet saw said: "Never a believer is stricken with a discomfort, an illness, an anxiety, a grief or mental worry or even the pricking of a thorn but Allah will expiate his sins on account of his patience".
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

And think of how the Messenger of Allaah reacted to situations in which he was hurt and humiliated!

`Aishah (May Allah be pleased with her) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) never hit anything with his hand neither a servant nor a woman but of course, he did fight in the Cause of Allah. He never took revenge upon anyone for the wrong done to him, but of course, he exacted retribution for the sake of Allah in case the Injunctions of Allah about unlawful acts were violated.
[Muslim].

Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I was walking with Messenger of Allah saw who was wearing a Najrani cloak with a very thick border when a bedouin happened to meet him. He took hold of the side of his cloak and drew it violently. I noticed that the violence of jerk had bruised the neck of Messenger of Allah saw. The bedouin said: "O Muhammad! Give me out of Allah's wealth that you possess.'' Messenger of Allah saw turned to him and smiled and directed that he should be given something.
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].


Imagine ukhti, if this had happened to use?! Would we be patient? Would we persevere? You were injured with words, and he was injured and then demanded of - and yet not a shred of anger, but tolerance, SubhanAllaah.

Ibn Mas`ud (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I can see the Messenger of Allah saw look like one of the Prophets of Allah whose people beat and made him bleed while he was wiping the blood from his face and supplicating: "O Allah, forgive my people because they know not.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].


And here - would we even consider turning to make dua'a for people who had hurt us? Yet these were the characteristics of the Prophet who is our role model, thus we should in turn try to emulate him as much as we can.

So for you, I think you should forgive, make dua'a for her, and continue with your life... as everything here is short lived - people will forget your humiliation trust me, it doesnt last - but what really matters and lasts is humiliation on the Day of Judgment and that we have to be careful of right ukhti?

May Allaah subhana wa ta'ala guide us all!

wasalam