I need advise

[safiya58]

Salam aleikum
If you are going out with her then you have to know
there is no such a thing as dating in Islam ,its haram to have a girlfriend ,you have to marry her ,before you even talk about the rest...
It makes me mad that there are so many muslim men ,who pretend that they are good muslims and fast and pray ,but at same time they going out with women.
Allah is the one to judge you not me not anybodyelse...


waaleikum salam

selam sister,

going out with so JUST FOR FUN is haram you r right but his intention is marriage... isn´t it ok in Islam to talk to get know eachother better? I mean we r talking about marriage and it is for a lifetime not for some month or years... if he would not be serious he wouln´t ask for advice

vesselam

 

[smartboy]

In The Name Of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

Dear brother and sisters
alhamdualla if u new me u would no im a good muslim (alahmdualla). I saly 5 times a day and fast.................................................. i dont now what to do
any advise

R U Still In this forum????:arabi1:

 

[eemaan1]

i wondered the samething....

 

[108EEDMAH]

Lol im still here.
Iv just bein thinkin
and for the dating subject i no its haram and thats y i want to get married. Im not getting married becasue of my desires more that whenever im with her it does not feel right.
The best thing i think i should is to spend less time with her and the time im with her ill try to teach her about islam.
Islam is so easy to teach becasue everything about it is perfect. To be honest this girl had a hard life in the past. Her dad abused her, her parents left her and now she lives with foster parents. she tried to ask allah for help but she said nothin happend. If u look at god through her eyes i can c y she doesnt believe in god and thats y its hard to talk about islam infront of her. \
So how do i bring islam to her? One thing iv started is asking for allahs help during prayer.

 

[Basicofislam]

:salam2: Dear brother,
I have a far off cousin who married a non muslim. recently the kids came for a visit and they were asking who is Allah. Kids learn about islam from there mother cause it is the mother who raises the kids. When you are 19 yrs old everything looks rosey but reality strikes later on. Somebody i know married when he was 20 yrs old. His wife at that time was a relaxed christian. She said she does not mind if he raises the kids muslim and all that. 5 yrs later she became born again christian. And now they are ending in a divorce.They have 2 kids. Please think again.

 

[Basicofislam]

:salam2: are you feeling sorry for her past and want to be this knight in shining armour. Marriage is best when it takes place between people who believe in the same path. Please think again before you make the biggest blunder of your life. I agree with marrying revert muslim ladies. There are so many of them who actually need a good muslim partner. But a non muslim is a big no no. I am a muslim sister and i cant imagine marrying a man who is a non muslim thinking maybe one day he will become a muslim. When she will be eating pork you will say ohhh that is her belief to your kids. please get real DONT RUIN YOUR LIFE. What will happen is this thing you will become far from islam slowly . You mark my word.

 

[Mixedup]

Dear brother

I really feel for you. Its easy to say that God didnt answer me etc when things were bad especially when you are not Muslim. As a muslim revert I can only say that I did not understand who God was and I now know it is ALLAH(swt).
Thankfully I met a very patient and understanding Muslim man who explained to me the difference between free will (man made situations) and the works of ALLAH(swt). I used to say if there is a God why is there famine, war and kids been abused/killed when they are unable to defend themselves?? He explained that it was not ALLAH(swt) who created famine,war and abuse but man by cutting down trees, building on land, greed and societies lack of respect for human lifes. Maybe you can explain things in a similar way.
Hope it helps

 

[108EEDMAH]

Thats good advice and thats what my dad told me. when i told her that u cant blam it on god for other peoples actions she was like then if God nows this is gonna happen y did he let me be born to him. and i didnt no what to say. I think if i can answer her questions it will change her mind about God and maybe thats y i met her. Not only to test me but to also to bring her to islam at the same time. Only Allah nows
So how do i answer back?

 

[samiha]

Lol im still here.
Iv just bein thinkin
and for the dating subject i no its haram and thats y i want to get married. Im not getting married becasue of my desires more that whenever im with her it does not feel right.
The best thing i think i should is to spend less time with her and the time im with her ill try to teach her about islam.
Islam is so easy to teach becasue everything about it is perfect. To be honest this girl had a hard life in the past. Her dad abused her, her parents left her and now she lives with foster parents. she tried to ask allah for help but she said nothin happend. If u look at god through her eyes i can c y she doesnt believe in god and thats y its hard to talk about islam infront of her. \
So how do i bring islam to her? One thing iv started is asking for allahs help during prayer.

:salam2:

If I could advice one thing, it would be that yes do not spend so much time with her, and if you do somehow end up spending time with her you must follow Islaamic etiquette. If you know something is Haraam akhi, you have to stay away from it as much as you are able! I know this is difficult in so many ways, even with us and all that we do, however this is also your Jihaad.

We should never think of how small a sin is, as Bilâl b. Sa’d – Allah have mercy on him – said:

Do not think about how small the sin is, but think about who you have just disobeyed.

Ibn Al-Mubârak, Al-Zuhd wa Al-Raqâ`iq Vol.1 p150.

And this is just a sin SubhanAllah, think of the status of that which is haraam. May Allah forgive us and rectify our wrong deeds!

I believe if you wish to do dawah to her you must do it with your emotions entirely in check. We cant afford to cross the limits of Allah, so beware of approaching them in case something were to happen. Either that or get a sister, someone you know to try do to dawah etc, but I do not believe if you are too involved with her or you cannot maintain the Islaamic limits while with her that it is appropriate for you to do dawah at all. The means of calling to Islaam cannot be in a way that is not allowed.

Allah knows best. May Allah open her heart and guide her to the truth.

Here's a thread I made earlier, not everyone who goes through much abuse, trouble ect has trouble believing in Allah, in fact, once they are shown the beauty, correctness, and upright morality of Islaam, many times they are the first to realize how good it is, since they've seen the worst of humanity...

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=46339

wasalam

 

[Mixedup]

Dear brother

I am no scholar and I certainally as a new revert have a lot to learn so I guess some one with more knowledge should answer from an Islamic point of view.
All I can say to that is that ALLAH(swt) may not have known that her father would do these things at the time she was born. Obviously satan came in at some point. You could ask the same of war, famine etc. I beleive man made influences came into this situations and she paid a horrible price. The only person to blame is the one that committed the sin and maybe she will find comfort that on judgement day her father will have to answer to ALLAH(swt) for his actions.
I understand she is hurt, upset etc by all of this but maybe you can explain that by accepting ALLAH(swt) into her life is a positive change and by seriously looking at Islam and having an open mind about it she has nothing to lose and everything to gain.
I can only tell you what worked for me and there are no guarantees in life but I do feel that with your patience and support she may find the right path.
Our sister BasicofIslam has pointed many facts outs and dispite the fact I was a non muslim who had no belief and had lived a haram life style thanks to my wonderful partners support I found the right way and reverted as ALLAH(swt) intended for me.
As a caution I also know many non muslim women that revert then when the relationship ends etc they go back to their old ways which is not acceptable. I suggest you look upon this women as a friend and yes support her and teach her as much as possible but do not engage in anything else like marriage etc unless she can committ to you and your beliefs because you will have nothing but problems. I have seen it for myself and its very difficult and I would hate to see you get hurt.

 

[k.tanzeela]

:salam2: to raise non muslim children from u, its worst than having no children at all.
Place Allah and His Prohet(PBUH) first and foremost, everything else comes later. Sorry to say ,you seem too weak in faith. May Allah gives you strength to understand what is ultimately good for u, brother dont be in haste.

 

[eemaan1]

Dear brother

I am no scholar and I certainally as a new revert have a lot to learn so I guess some one with more knowledge should answer from an Islamic point of view.
All I can say to that is that ALLAH(swt) may not have known that her father would do these things at the time she was born.

:salam2:

this is not correct sister, Allah knows everything past and present. this's an aqeedah issue, may be someone can suggest good books on this? i would say read books by Bilal Philips 'kitab at-tawheed'. (please dont take offence if this was a typo on your part)

 

[Munawar]

:salam2:
Brother why don't you ask her to visit TTI website.
Ask her to create an ID for herself and chat with us. Maybe we could answer some of her questions.

As far as afflictions are concrned they come either:
1. Because Allah wants to warn you or soften you so you come towards him.
2. Because He wants to raise your level in Jannah.
3. Because He wants to reduce your sins so that you have less punishment in the Jahanum.

In one hadith Prophet (PBUH) said that on the day of judgement when those people who lived in this world in 'affiyah' (good comfortable life) will see what kind of ajar (rewards) Allah is handing out to those who suffered in the world then they will wish that their flesh would have been cut by siccors in the world so they could also get the same rewards.
So it cuts both ways.

 

[HIJAB_86]

:salam2: the answer of your question is in Quran u don,t need to visit any scholar.ALLAH SAYS IN SORAH BAQARA....(VERSENO.221)

O NOT MARRY UNBELIEVING WOMEN(IDOLATERS),UNTIL THEY BELIEVE:A SLAVE WOMAN WHO BELIEVES IS BETTER THAN AN UNBELIEVING WOMAN, EVEN THOUGH SHE ALLURE YOU.NOR MARRY(YOUR GIRLS)TO UNBELIEVERS UNTIL THEY BELIEVE; A MAN SLAVE WHO BELIEVES IS BETTER THAN AN UNBELIEVER,EVEN THOUTH HE ALLURE YOU.UNBELIEVERS DO(BUT) BECKON YOU TO THE FIRE. BUT GOD BECKONS BY HIS GRACE TO THE GARDEN(OF BLISS)AND FORGIVENESS, AND MAKES HIS SIGNS CLEAR TO MANKIND; THAT THEY MAY CELEBRATE HIS PRAISE.

 

[Almaas]

Asalaam u alaykum,

If you know any muslim sisters, perhaps if you have your own sisters, then try to introduce her to them, so she can discover Islam on a more personal level. Also try to give her books on Islam and let her listen to various speeches, like Shaikh Khalid Yasin, who's brilliant and who has reverted many.

InshAllah everything will work out for you.

Waalaykum asalaam.

 

[tolgatemur]

Dear Brother Eedmah,

i see marring to a non muslim person would have some problem heavy to carry.

Religion edication of the kids.. yet they have freedom of choice.But if you want to educate them with Islam. it would be a bit difficult since your educating partner would have no contrubution to you. may be she would object you. it is your private relations.

if you can carry this responsibility there is no problem i think. If you realy love each others you have energy to solve these problems.

If you can teach your kids to love ( i am sure you would as a father), they will be a real muslim.

I congragulate you .. and i env you too

Besth wishes for you and her.

Allah may make you two happy in life

Everybody who can love can potantialy be a muslim.