i need help

[Leena86]

dear brother and sister,

me and my husband have some problem. i our relationship getting wost. the way he treat me getting bad.
he told me he have no feeling with me anymore but he still love me.
everytime i was at home i go to him and he is like pushing me away.
always come back home late just to not see me. and he did told me 'we love each other but we cant be together anymore".
and i was trying my best to get him back. but i don't think so its work.
where ever i go i remember him and miss him so much. at home i cry and cry i cant stop my tears droping down from my eyes. everyday im crying i don't know what to do.
i really think to kill myself but i told myself not to do that it is haram. if i did it my family will be very sad and bleam on him also will hate him forever.
always i stop myself for crying but after that it start again. i feel my heart is broken.
i should keep on trying to get him back?
or go far away from him? i really don't know and im so tired..

 

[a_stranger]

Dear sister
TRy to sit with your husband and discusse things with him why he is feeling so ?? May be you are doings things that is making him angry without any bad intension from you .....if you love him i think you can repair everything InshaAllah just be quiet and try to think how can you bring him back . ASk help from Allah swt , sometimes we do many things that hurt others without any bad will then when bad feelings gather in hearts relations become at danger so try to clear the way ......May Allah swt help you and protect you marriage.

 

[abu'muhammad]

:salam2:

sister leena,

I agree with sister a_stranger ,

Just you find out what's the real problem. Many a times, there are minor reasons for major causes. And clarify the situations, reasons and causes.
InshaAllah - things would be on tract. aameen.

 

[najbc]

dear brother and sister,

me and my husband have some problem. i our relationship getting wost. the way he treat me getting bad.
he told me he have no feeling with me anymore but he still love me.
everytime i was at home i go to him and he is like pushing me away.
always come back home late just to not see me. and he did told me 'we love each other but we cant be together anymore".
and i was trying my best to get him back. but i don't think so its work.
where ever i go i remember him and miss him so much. at home i cry and cry i cant stop my tears droping down from my eyes. everyday im crying i don't know what to do.
i really think to kill myself but i told myself not to do that it is haram. if i did it my family will be very sad and bleam on him also will hate him forever.
always i stop myself for crying but after that it start again. i feel my heart is broken.
i should keep on trying to get him back?
or go far away from him? i really don't know and im so tired..

sister my heart goes out to you but as you know the the best wive is she who does not talk or show her family issues to public with that said, i would advise you to go and see imman or someone you both respect. good lucky and pray to alllah to guide you and your husband.

 

[MariamK]

Allah is with those who have sabr.
Sister, go home to your husband, ask him to sit and talk with him in calm manner, tell him why u are upset and also plz listen to him.
Men work very hard outside of the home.. they come back from work tired, and stress .. they dnt mean to hurt their wife, it not their intention... open communication is always needed.
Make duaa always to Allah.. Tell ur husband how much you love him and apprecaite his hard works.. perpare urself with perfume and clean dress and serve him.. inshAllah all will be just fine..
Dont let emotions take over ur mind and thoughts.. shaytan loves to play games.. have sabr and forgive him of any short comings.
Allah lvoes thoe who forgive.

 

[Leena86]

thanks for all sister for the advice.

 

[Rasheed212]

I'm not sure if you've already overcome your problem, but this is what I think sister, because I don't know him and you obviously I can't judge your personalities but I do know people in relationships with similar issues, such as the guy pushes the girl away and neglects her, Ive come to learn, sometimes it's because of an attention issue and the guy wants more attention and the more the female gives to him he feels more in power, however it could completely different that something has come up and something within himself has made him step back from loving other people, maybe jealousy also..it could be many things, however I apologize as these obvservations have come from non-Muslim relationships and not married ones, but my overall advice to you like everyone has said is just kick it with your husband and talk to him and try find out what's really up

 

[musliminah 05]

:salam2:
Sister I am sorry to hear of your distress.
You must firstly turn to Allah as he and he alone created mankind, he knows what is in our hearts and our deepest and darkest thoughts. Cry to him do not cry alone.
Secondly ask someone to act as a mediator for you both, someone outside of the family would be best as they would Inshallah not be biased.
Write points down the both of you so you do not forget the issues you have with one another and then talk with the mediator each point of feeling through to each other.
I hope Inshallah this helps sister
Make plenty of dua Inshallah

:tti_sister:

 

[shakir17182]

dear sister
recite ya allaho - ya maanio - ya mateeno 100 times after every namaz .insha allah your married life will be full of love and all your troubles will go away

 

[Leena86]

salam to all brother and sister here,

thanks for the advice. walla i have no one to talk to only here i can say whats in my heart. i have no friends here. and lonely. thank you X 1000

 

[Nadar]

Sister may allah help u sort out dis problems n insha-allah everthing will go well.
Please always remember tht life is test..

Salam.


Ameen.

RAMADAN KAREEM!!!!

 

[nlove143]

dua for u

dear brother and sister,

me and my husband have some problem. i our relationship getting wost. the way he treat me getting bad.
he told me he have no feeling with me anymore but he still love me.
everytime i was at home i go to him and he is like pushing me away.
always come back home late just to not see me. and he did told me 'we love each other but we cant be together anymore".
and i was trying my best to get him back. but i don't think so its work.
where ever i go i remember him and miss him so much. at home i cry and cry i cant stop my tears droping down from my eyes. everyday im crying i don't know what to do.
i really think to kill myself but i told myself not to do that it is haram. if i did it my family will be very sad and bleam on him also will hate him forever.
always i stop myself for crying but after that it start again. i feel my heart is broken.
i should keep on trying to get him back?
or go far away from him? i really don't know and im so tired..

:salam2: may allah(swt) solve ur problem in this bessing month of rahmazan my dear sis and my fix ur husband. i noe how u fell sis. plz read 1000 times Ya-wa-du-do. if there is quarral between couples and 1 of them repeats this name 1000 times over food and has the other person to eat the food, there will no disagreements between them inshallah. and read ya-sha-hi-do in the morning,and look at the sky and read this 21 times so ur husband could love u alot. inshallah. Read Ya-mu-ta-ali 100 times . if ur husband giving u pain read this so he'll love u. Read Ya-ma-ni-o 100 times if ur husband hates and doesnt care about u and , he who repeats this name will have good family life and husband will take care of u. my dear sis plzz read this it really works. my dua's r with u inshallah.:tti_sister:

 

[Leena86]

nlove143,

thank you sister for teaching me that. thank u so much :'(

 

[Hosam88]

:salam2:
well sister i'm terribly sorry to hear that.....and you know this issue is really starting to piss me off ,cuz as we can see many men treat their women badly
i dunno but do men like those think that they are better than their wifes ,i say without women a man would never be (ofcourse only adam peace be upon him existed before eve)

you should look deeply into his life and know what is bothering him or what is distracting him from you
i dunno if you two have kids from each other but anyway you should work out this problem,try making him the dinner he likes most and make him some treat in that night and when he rests a little try talking with him about why he is being like that and always remember that the good and the calm way of talking makes anyone listen.....even if he shouted or got bad come over ur self and try cuz merriage isn't an easy thing to let go

and i'm sorry i'm sure all my brothers and sisters have mentioned that before
your brother Hosam

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

Brother..do not get angry. It is not an issue of bad man..good woman. We can not take sides when it involves married people. We have to support the couple. That is the fair thing to do.

 

[Hosam88]

well thnx for your explanation sister
but i was actually discribing the men who i see around me....and i really notice that many of them are treating their women as they are something they bought so they have to consume it to the last bit of it

you are 100% right we should support the couple in general

 

[Leena86]

asalamlaikum to all sister and brother here,

1st thanks for reading my thread, 2nd for all the brother sister who support me and my husband, 3rd thanks for sister and brother who make dua for leena, 4th for all sister brother who give advice for leena and let me know and what to do.

thank you again for all brother and sister who help leena, and wish u all have a good life, healty and happy life. thank you all very much.

 

[aku5299]

Be Strong

Leena, be strong OK.. maybe u can start go to surau (musolla) and u might meet a good friend to start with.. its important for us to have friends to talk to.. just y 50cent oppinion

 

[rayray]

Emotional Consultant

dear brother and sister,

me and my husband have some problem. i our relationship getting wost. the way he treat me getting bad.
he told me he have no feeling with me anymore but he still love me.
everytime i was at home i go to him and he is like pushing me away.
always come back home late just to not see me. and he did told me 'we love each other but we cant be together anymore".
and i was trying my best to get him back. but i don't think so its work.
where ever i go i remember him and miss him so much. at home i cry and cry i cant stop my tears droping down from my eyes. everyday im crying i don't know what to do.
i really think to kill myself but i told myself not to do that it is haram. if i did it my family will be very sad and bleam on him also will hate him forever.
always i stop myself for crying but after that it start again. i feel my heart is broken.
i should keep on trying to get him back?
or go far away from him? i really don't know and im so tired..

That's sad.

Investing emotionally in a person not within your kin is, to me, the riskiest emotional investment people make. Specifically because what you are going through right now could happen to anyone.

The reward is high. That is probably why they say "a successful and happy marriage is heaven on earth". However giving your heart to another person... is as costly. You shouldn't let that overtake your life, there are other stocks to monitor and could make you happy:

1. God- Risk proof emotional investment/ where you are always a winner
2. Family, Relatives- High Return/ stable investments
3. Friends- Good investments


If I were in your position, I'd try to salvage the relationship. "Wait it out and see if there is still chance". But if it looks like it will continue to go down, I suggest that you "sell your stocks" so as to prevent further loss....

salaam!

*whoa! my username is already orange!

 

[northpole]

communicatio

asalaam ,
my sister , the most powerfull tool in the marriage affair is communication !!!
you might think you have talk to him but you havent go deeper in to the problem , i can see there a game of hide & seek in your house !!!!!!!!!!! since he come late home it dosent mean he do anything bad outside , but he avoid the best moment of communication , and in this case you and him got to work together and start communicate each other with respected on each other feelings , this is the first step then you can be able to break the problem point ,

good luck and may ALLAH save your marriage
wasalam
be strong