I need some advice, and tons of it!

[bilalswife1983]

I've made this decision in my head, I'm ready to accept Islam. Nothing has ever felt more right...nothing! It has to be the most beautiful, peaceful religion I have ever learned about and it just feels right, I can't say that enough. But I'm having issues and I need advice.

I went today to look for a book by Dr. Jeffrey Lang. I went to 3 bookstores in my immediate area and the Christianity section was unbelievable.....isles upon isles, shelves upon shelves, everything you ever wanted to know about Christianity was right there screaming in your face! The Islam section, one shelf maybe two if you were lucky. In the tiny Islam section, I found books that tried to contradict Islam. In one store, I think I even found the Qur'an in the Philosophy section. So I drove 60 miles to another store in a bigger city. Again, isles upon isles of Christianity but they had a section (about 4 feet wide) dedicated to Islam. Sadly, only two of the five shelves in that section were dedicated to Islam. I didn't find the books I was looking for so I guess I have to order them online. The only mosques close to where I live are atleast an hour and a half away. I live in a town of 1800 people and there has to be atleast 6 churches in town. My question is: How do I get in touch with other Muslims within my area? I want to visit the mosque but is it okay if I can't do it on a regular basis?

Another issue I have is telling people. You can probably tell by the above paragraph that Islam is not easily accepted here. I guess I'm not too worried about what strangers think but I'm scared about what my family and close friends will think, well, maybe not what they think as much as how they will act towards me. I feel it in my heart so I know its the right decision but I don't want to be isolated and alone. Should I wait to tell them? I don't know what I'd be waiting for, I'm just scared. Here, people believe that if you are a Muslim, you are out to kill every American. I'm also scared to wear the hijab. I've heard people say that they will not vote for presidential candidate Barack Obama because they believe he is a Muslim and will purposely destroy America if he's voted in.

The next, and hopefully the last issue I have is my kids. I'm a single mother of two. #1. Is that okay? Will I still be accepted in the Muslim community? #2. I want to introduce Islam to them but they stay with their father every other weekend and I know that he won't accept Islam at all and won't support it. I think that if he finds out, he will teach my children that Muslims are bad and will teach them the opposite of anything they learn about Islam. I could see him feeding them pork everytime just to spite me. What do I do about that? Should I still teach them? I honestly wouldn't feel right not teaching them something that feels so right to me.

Anyway, thank you all if you are reading this. I know it was a mouthful. I hope you all are doing well!!!

Dawn

 

[Imad]

Thanks, i'am very happy to read that you see the truth in islam. Alhamdullilah

I think you have asked five Questions, briefly:
- In touch with muslims
- Mosque
- telling people
- single mother
- Kids

In touch with muslims
If you realy are not able to get in touch with muslims in your area, i sincerly advice you to move to an other area. If you are not able to move, go and visit the muslims in other area. You can always enter a mosque an ask if sisters can be your friend. There will be insha Allah many sisters who want to be your friend. But keep doing your best to move to an islamic area. I ask Allah to help you.

Mosque
You are a woman this means it's not obligatory for you to visit the mosque every day or every salat (prayer). You can pray at home.

telling people
If you are scared people/family will harm you, you have the right not to tell them that you are muslim. It´s like when people entered islam at the time of our prophet. At that time if people knew they reverted they would harm them, so they didn´t tell people they are muslims. But if this means that you are not able to observe your islam, than you have to move like the people who reverted at the time of our prophet. They moved from Mekka to Medina.

single mother
Of course you will be accepted in the islamic faith and in the islamic community. I advice you to marry a pious muslim. Someone who will protect you and protect your kids.

Kids
Do your best to teach them islam. If they see the truth in islam they will accept. I was 8 or 9 years old when i came to holland. I went to a christian school. They teached us christianity and sometimes they took us to the church. But alhamdullilah i knew islam by my heart, so i did everything to teach other moslims in my class not to believe in Christianity. I remember i was 8 or 9 years old at that moment. if i remember every morning they sang something from the bible. I teached my muslims fellows not to sing or do like you are singing but don´t sing what they are singing. This means if someone knows islam he will not accept christianity.

Thanks for reading. If you have questions or you want clarification please ask.

Take care,

Imad

 

[Min-Fadhli-Rabii]

Assalam aleikum sister in Islam,
Welcome to a big family of islam. I would to answer your questions in a shortest way, Insh'Allah.
Sister in Islam, you dont need to visits mosque on regular bases. Prophet{SAW) said a woman get more rewards when she prays at home,
You dont have to wear hijab immediately when you become a muslim, I will advice you, after a year when u become a muslim start to wear hijab. At the moment just wear modest cloth.
Take your shahada as soon as you can. Telling people you are muslim, you can tell after a month or after a year because at that time you will be more equip with more knowledge of Islam and your faith has grown much stronger,

A brother or a sister may give u all the answers hare in TTI.

May Allah make your journey to Islam easy.Amin

 

[sajjuaiah]

As-salaam alaikum,

Welcome to Islam.
May Allah Guide you and help you.:tti_sister:

“And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a
him to get out (from every difficulty).
And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever
puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish
purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things”[al-Talaaq 65:2-3]

Surely, the religion (i.e. the worship and the obedience) is for Allâh only. And those who take Auliyâ' (protectors and helpers) besides Him (say): "We worship them only that they may bring us near to Allâh." Verily, Allâh will judge between them concerning that wherein they differ. Truly, Allâh guides not him who is a liar, and a disbeliever. Chapter: Az-Zumar (39) Verse #: 3

Sura Al-Baqarah , Ayat 214
do ye think that ye shall enter the gardin of bliss without such trials as came to those who passed away before you? they encounterd suffreing and adversity, and were so shaken in spirit that even the messenger and those of faith who where with him cried ''when will come the help of allah? Ah verily, the help of allah is allways near.

Jazakmullah Hu-Khairan.

 

[Almeftah]

dear sister,

Know that once you become a muslim, all of your sins are purged, as if you were just borne again..
what i know for sure is that as hard as it becomes, it is 1million% worth it, you can seek for an islamic groups or community in your area that can help and guide you through.

may Allah the almighty give you guidance and ease to your mind and soul, in this life and the hereafter.

 

[tarannumsamir]

I've made this decision in my head, I'm ready to accept Islam. Nothing has ever felt more right...nothing! It has to be the most beautiful, peaceful religion I have ever learned about and it just feels right, I can't say that enough. But I'm having issues and I need advice.

I went today to look for a book by Dr. Jeffrey Lang. I went to 3 bookstores in my immediate area and the Christianity section was unbelievable.....isles upon isles, shelves upon shelves, everything you ever wanted to know about Christianity was right there screaming in your face! The Islam section, one shelf maybe two if you were lucky. In the tiny Islam section, I found books that tried to contradict Islam. In one store, I think I even found the Qur'an in the Philosophy section. So I drove 60 miles to another store in a bigger city. Again, isles upon isles of Christianity but they had a section (about 4 feet wide) dedicated to Islam. Sadly, only two of the five shelves in that section were dedicated to Islam. I didn't find the books I was looking for so I guess I have to order them online. The only mosques close to where I live are atleast an hour and a half away. I live in a town of 1800 people and there has to be atleast 6 churches in town. My question is: How do I get in touch with other Muslims within my area? I want to visit the mosque but is it okay if I can't do it on a regular basis?

Another issue I have is telling people. You can probably tell by the above paragraph that Islam is not easily accepted here. I guess I'm not too worried about what strangers think but I'm scared about what my family and close friends will think, well, maybe not what they think as much as how they will act towards me. I feel it in my heart so I know its the right decision but I don't want to be isolated and alone. Should I wait to tell them? I don't know what I'd be waiting for, I'm just scared. Here, people believe that if you are a Muslim, you are out to kill every American. I'm also scared to wear the hijab. I've heard people say that they will not vote for presidential candidate Barack Obama because they believe he is a Muslim and will purposely destroy America if he's voted in.

The next, and hopefully the last issue I have is my kids. I'm a single mother of two. #1. Is that okay? Will I still be accepted in the Muslim community? #2. I want to introduce Islam to them but they stay with their father every other weekend and I know that he won't accept Islam at all and won't support it. I think that if he finds out, he will teach my children that Muslims are bad and will teach them the opposite of anything they learn about Islam. I could see him feeding them pork everytime just to spite me. What do I do about that? Should I still teach them? I honestly wouldn't feel right not teaching them something that feels so right to me.

Anyway, thank you all if you are reading this. I know it was a mouthful. I hope you all are doing well!!!

Dawn

as salaam alaikum wa rehmatullah wa barakaatuhu,
sister welcome to the religion of truth.alhamdulillah.imad has very well tried to help u out.
allah is great.
i would like to say,sister u have choosen the religion of peace.a muslim is a person who
submits himself to will of allah.so let us pray that may allah swt prevent all of us from the
evil,and bless us with the choicest blessings,ameen.
allahafiz

 

[Almeftah]

By the way..

even if you haven't reverted yet, you can go into any mosque to ask for help or guidance.

 

[umm hussain]

Assalam aleikum sister in Islam,
You dont have to wear hijab immediately when you become a muslim, I will advice you, after a year when u become a muslim start to wear hijab. At the moment just wear modest cloth.

Asalam alaikum warahmatullah

Please do not misinform/misguide people with falsehood unless you have clear evidence from hadith or Quran to say it is not compulsory to wear hijab then please do not legislate. Hijab becomes an obligation once they become Muslim and they know about its ruling unless of course they did not know one had to wear hijab which they will be excused from because it was out of ignorance. It is the same as saying Salah. There are some reverts or even born Muslims who choose not to wear hijab for one reason or the other but that does not mean it is not compulsory.

Knowing some reverts like I do, when they do come to Islam they normally do so whole heartedly and want to put everything into practise so it is always best to get the right information and make your own decision from there either to wear it or not.

It is harder for a woman to "hide" being Muslim because of hijab but in most instances I have come across we make it hard for ourselves and think everyone is looking, and even if they are very few will actually be aggressive or say anything and at most times not even to you directly but you know in the gossip way. Which inshallah will not have any effect on you.

Allah will make it easy for you if you take the first step to come closer to him and you feel Islam is for you then do not hesitate to take shahada because we never know if we will be alive any minute from now.


As for being a single parent that is not even an issue, you will be more than welcome in the Muslim community and if the time ever comes for you to look for a husband most will take care of your children without a problem , the ones who will not are not worth knowing and you might find they are not practising Islam as it should be.

About your children going to their dad that should not stop you from teaching them Islam truth will stand out from falsehood and just pray that even if their dad tries to turn them against you he will not succeed and Inshallah they will be Muslim by choice as well when they get older.

Some Mosques might put you off when they go because the people are not so welcoming and some do not have a female area. From my experience and I might be wrong, those that do not allow women into the mosque do not follow proper Quran and Sunnah in the first place and are likely to teach you things which go against it. Th e Mosques I find more welcoming are the ones that are multi-racial and you fit in. The others might be Asian only and trust me even if you go there you will feel unwanted and this might put you off. Don't let it though because Islam is what is attractive not the actions of Muslims so do your best, either by listening to talks or reading.

I would advise you not to buy books from any bookshops especially the non Muslim ones or any author, inshallah I will come back to you with some authors to look out for and the best place will be in an Islamic bookshop and hopefully others can do the same.

Family is always the hardest to tell but just do it you know them best so how to do it will be known by you. They might disown you but inshallah they will come around. It happened to me and sometimes you will find they will 'accept' it as long as you do not try to tell them or make them Muslim or you might find one parent okay with it and the other not so okay

Wish you all the best

 

[gazkour]

You're making the right decision!

Dear Sister,

In touch with muslims and mosque:

If you find it really difficult to find a muslim community, you can nowadays get hold of very good books and websites to help you through. Remember that assisting to a mosque it's not compulsory for women : we get even more rewards by praying at home....Alhamdulillah for that!

Telling family and friends:

It depends on how do you think they would react. If you have a 'bad' feeling, my advise is not to tell them until you feel more peaceful about it. What you can do is to show them how beautiful islam is by your good actions, reactions and behaviour, that's the best way to tell them. If they see you have changed in a good way, probably is going to be them the ones asking you what's the matter with you!
When we just revert to Islam we naturally want to talk to others about it and also tell them how wrong they are...so don't do that sister, be patient.

Hijab

Someone mentioned to wait a year to wear it, I think that's too long. You must do it in your own time, yes, just remember Hijab has been prescribed by Allah The Almighty, and it is a blessing for you. I think as you learn about Islam more and more, you'll feel when you're ready for it...don't worry sister, Allah will show you.

Single mother:

When we all come to Islam, all our past sins are forgiven, so we are like newborns in the eyes of Allah.....Alhamdulillah for that too! So nobody has ever the right to judge you. Remember that we all have been forgiven too.

Kids:

As I mentioned before, the best way for you to show them the beauty of Islam is by your good example. No matter how many lies they are told about Islam by others; they'll be able to know what is right and what's wrong. It is also important that you don't stop praying for them; a mother's prayer is certainly essential.

May Allah guide us all.

Assalamo alikom :muslim_child:

 

[dragonfly]

I've made this decision in my head, I'm ready to accept Islam. Nothing has ever felt more right...nothing! It has to be the most beautiful, peaceful religion I have ever learned about and it just feels right, I can't say that enough. But I'm having issues and I need advice.

I went today to look for a book by Dr. Jeffrey Lang. I went to 3 bookstores in my immediate area and the Christianity section was unbelievable.....isles upon isles, shelves upon shelves, everything you ever wanted to know about Christianity was right there screaming in your face! The Islam section, one shelf maybe two if you were lucky. In the tiny Islam section, I found books that tried to contradict Islam. In one store, I think I even found the Qur'an in the Philosophy section. So I drove 60 miles to another store in a bigger city. Again, isles upon isles of Christianity but they had a section (about 4 feet wide) dedicated to Islam. Sadly, only two of the five shelves in that section were dedicated to Islam. I didn't find the books I was looking for so I guess I have to order them online. The only mosques close to where I live are atleast an hour and a half away. I live in a town of 1800 people and there has to be atleast 6 churches in town. My question is: How do I get in touch with other Muslims within my area? I want to visit the mosque but is it okay if I can't do it on a regular basis?

Another issue I have is telling people. You can probably tell by the above paragraph that Islam is not easily accepted here. I guess I'm not too worried about what strangers think but I'm scared about what my family and close friends will think, well, maybe not what they think as much as how they will act towards me. I feel it in my heart so I know its the right decision but I don't want to be isolated and alone. Should I wait to tell them? I don't know what I'd be waiting for, I'm just scared. Here, people believe that if you are a Muslim, you are out to kill every American. I'm also scared to wear the hijab. I've heard people say that they will not vote for presidential candidate Barack Obama because they believe he is a Muslim and will purposely destroy America if he's voted in.

The next, and hopefully the last issue I have is my kids. I'm a single mother of two. #1. Is that okay? Will I still be accepted in the Muslim community? #2. I want to introduce Islam to them but they stay with their father every other weekend and I know that he won't accept Islam at all and won't support it. I think that if he finds out, he will teach my children that Muslims are bad and will teach them the opposite of anything they learn about Islam. I could see him feeding them pork everytime just to spite me. What do I do about that? Should I still teach them? I honestly wouldn't feel right not teaching them something that feels so right to me.

Anyway, thank you all if you are reading this. I know it was a mouthful. I hope you all are doing well!!!

Dawn

Salam dear sister,
I also entered islam not so long ago, actually i may say i'm new muslim just as u r I'm trully happy 4 u that u decided 2 enter islam and become the member of this beautiful community, people here r trully great and extremely helpful, i'm sure u will find ur support and calm in ur soul thanks to this religion and u will learn much also from people in here. Whenever i had questions or problems brothers and sisters from TTI were always here to serve help. Believe me the same is with muslim people in real, face to face relations Brother Imad has right, uthe best solution 4 u is to find some muslim people close to ur area so that u could talk to them whenever u have questions, problems, need support or just want to meet with friends, believe me if u ask 4 help u will get it anytime For me it was also not easy to find people from islam to have personall contact with, there is even no mosque here in my town in Poland, but i decided that since i made my decision to become a muslim woman i should do it right and be strong minded about it. So i was looking and looking, in many places, also in Internet and i found it, i found mosque in other town, i found contact with muslim people i even found many Islamic centres and shops I even sarted to learn arabic so that i could read Quoran in original, since by this tme i found great sites of Quoran recitations and writtings with English translation, but i know that 4 Alllah its the best to read the Book in original so i decided i will know arabic as my native Poish
So u see, everything is possible and there is nothing u cabt do once u want it really it is just enough to ask 4 help, once u do it u will see how beautiful islam is Wow my letter got huge, sorry sisster, i hope u dont mind it Whenever u will have a need to talk to somebody i will be really glad to talk to u Maybe we could help each other I wish u good luck and i will wait ur messages if u decide to talk
Stay with Allah help sister, He will guide u and never dissapoint u >>>
Anna

 

[ahmed m]

AWW. wicked, wicked, wicked!!!! CONGRATULATIONS MY DEAR SISTER. i love it when you hear over and over again such and such person has become muslim. Istart of by apologising about the length of my advice. i pray that it be a means of benefit gor you.

the comments above are brilliant and may allah reward them all. One of my uncles lives in Panama and he tells me its quite difficult to find mosques. as a whole, the USA have unfortunately up to now less mosques than for instance England, where i reside. So dnt worry inshallah. as my dear friend Min-...... has said that prayin at home for sisters is more beneficail, so plz dnt worry bout that.

i would suggest that plz do try and find a local mosque, for the purpose of findin a sister who can help you on your journey to Allah. if its a male only mosque, maybe approach the Imam and put forward your situation to him. Ask him if he would reccommend any good pious sisters to assist you.

with regards to tellin others bout ur conversion. this is in your hands. if you feel that it will be a cause of disturbance, then plz conceal you converion. ths is wat the prophet suggested to those companions that were in this state. if however you feel it will be of benefit, plz inform thwm bout your great achievement.

with regards to learning and practicing Islam. regarding learnin, firstly plz aqcuire someones who is firstly renown and is also knowledgable. i would suggest that plz dont use too much of the internet. alot of the material on the internet is unreliable and alot is also false. wat you could do is pass on the website, and if its reliable it could approved. books will be best, if a pious sister cannot be aqcuired. again, by a scholar and someone hu is renown. the main things to learn at the moment is about Allah and prophet Muhammed, salah(how to observe the five daily prayers), ablution. I will in due course suggest some useful sites and books for you inshallah(god willing).also, take it easy. Islam is a very broad religion, so take things in steps. i adviced a previous brother that, if you was to try and jump on the fifth step on the staircase, let alone not gettin anywhere you might even end up injuring yourself. same is for islam. take it easy. learn things step by step. and god willing, one day you will reach your destination.

about practicing. similar to learning knowledge. take it in steps. if we try to practice things to quick, we will fall in ignorance. this is because in Islam actions require knowledge. u seem to reside in missouri. if i come across anyone living in or in the outskirts of your state, i will contact you. and by knowin less, will not make you any lower than other muslims at the moment. as my dear friend Bo meshary has mentioned, all your sins are forgiven. whatever you might have done, you are now on a clear state. your journey to ALlah starts now. the prophet Muhammed suggested to the nearest meanin 'Islam is a broad religion, so take things steadily'. Plz dont feel shy to ask as many questions as you want.


with regards to your children. watever you learn, teach them. if a local islamic school is present, then plz send them their. with your children, as theyre still young, theyre still maturing so to teach them alot of things at the moment isnt necessary. for them, instil the greatness of Allah in their hearts. also, teach them the qualities of a muslim must have to them. teach them to be sincere, etc. when they grow up, with these qualities they will progress.

and last but far from not least, ask Allah, perferbly performin ablution or havin a bath prior to it(not necessary but praiseworthy). two of Allahs qualities are As- sami and Al-aleem. the meaning of which are 'all hearing and all seeing'. whatever you ask him, he can listen. and watever you do for him, he can observe. ask him to guide you to the true Islam and learning about it easy for you. also ask him to make reaching him easy for you. May allah accept you. May he shower his blessings on you. May he give you the best of marriage partners for you, who will be a source of teachin islam to you and a source of peace for you and your children. May he make all aspects of learnin Islam easy for you. May he make you a means for others to come to Islam. And may he make you amongst the accepted and beloved slaves of almighty Allah.

i request your prayers as well.

 

[bilalswife1983]

I cannot say how thankful I am to all of you.....THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!! You're support and advice is beautiful, my heart can't stop smiling!

 

[Bluegazer]

Hello Dawn,


I'm glad to hear about your positive view of Islam. I ask Allah the Almighty to make matters easy for you and to guide you to the straight path.


There are a couple of points I'd like to mention:


1- You wrote the following in post #1 of this thread:

I went today to look for a book by Dr. Jeffrey Lang

I have read some parts of two books of Dr. Jeffrey Lang. There are excellent points that he mentioned, but there's also [at least] one pretty big mistake.


I therefore sincerely advise you not to read his books. You're just beginning to learn about Islam, and therefore you must try your best to get your information from reliable sources.


2- You wrote the following in post #1 of this thread:

I'm also scared to wear the hijab.

Please click on the following link and read all of the post:

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showpost.php?p=61073&postcount=1


Regards,

Bluegazer

 

[jabba]

:salam2:
I'm so happy to hear you want to become Muslim. I am a convert to Islam and I have to tell you it's been the best decission i've ever made, but at times it's also been very lonely. At first everyone jumped at the chance to get to know me and then those people slowly disapeared, I've had a few other bad experiences as well but overall the good definately outweighs the bad. Islam is perfect, and sadly Muslims don't always represent themselves the way they should. I really suggest you read this article, not to discourge you but just to make you aware.>> http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=732

 

[bilalswife1983]

:salam2:
I'm so happy to hear you want to become Muslim. I am a convert to Islam and I have to tell you it's been the best decission i've ever made, but at times it's also been very lonely. At first everyone jumped at the chance to get to know me and then those people slowly disapeared, I've had a few other bad experiences as well but overall the good definately outweighs the bad. Islam is perfect, and sadly Muslims don't always represent themselves the way they should. I really suggest you read this article, not to discourge you but just to make you aware.>> http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=732

Thank you for your response! I was afraid that not only would I be isolated from my family and friends but that I wouldn't be accepted within the Muslim community. I'm okay with being alone because we're never truly alone, right?! But sometimes it's nice to have someone to discuss things with. Plus, there's so much to learn! It's easier to learn when you have someone to learn with and help guide you.

As for Muslims not behaving like they should, that's part of the reason I never accepted Christianity. Everyone around me who claimed to be Christian was living the opposite lifestyle that they should have been, yet judging everyone around them. I accept Islam and I won't let it discourage me. No one but Allah is perfect and we all have to answer to him in the end so I guess each person to his (or her) own and I will be the best Muslim I can be!!

 

[bilalswife1983]

Hello Dawn,


I'm glad to hear about your positive view of Islam. I ask Allah the Almighty to make matters easy for you and to guide you to the straight path.


There are a couple of points I'd like to mention:


1- You wrote the following in post #1 of this thread:




I have read some parts of two books of Dr. Jeffrey Lang. There are excellent points that he mentioned, but there's also [at least] one pretty big mistake.


I therefore sincerely advise you not to read his books. You're just beginning to learn about Islam, and therefore you must try your best to get your information from reliable sources.


2- You wrote the following in post #1 of this thread:




Please click on the following link and read all of the post:

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showpost.php?p=61073&postcount=1


Regards,

Bluegazer

Thanks for the link! I know that I, too, will overcome my difficulties and gain the strength and courage to wear the hijab. As for Dr. Lang, I was just looking for some more inspiration....but I have enough of that to go around, lol. I know that I shouldn't just take advice from anyone. If I want answers, I will look in the Qur'an.

 

[IslamIsLight]

salam
Very very happy for your desicion Great start !!May Allah bless u and make your faith even stronger and may He always keep you on the right way.
And yes we all have to strive to be as best Muslims as we can ,as the purpose of life is to worship Allah .
Don' be afraid of being alone .You never will be as Allah will be with you ,and that is most important .People are never perfect ,but only Allah the Most High is .

wasalam